The High King, the Duchess, and the Secret
by TastyAsItGets
Summary: The Pevensies could have stayed in Narnia forever. They would have, if Aslan hadn't abruptly sent them back to England. But it was their fault; the secret had gotten out. They had once saved Narnia, but now Narnia needed to be saved from them. Part I of "The Secret Chronicles of Narnia Trilogy."
1. King Lune's Request

The Secret Chronicles of Narnia Trilogy: Part I

**T****HE HIGH KING, THE DUCHESS, AND THE SECRET**

by TastyAsItGets

* * *

_It lay in the closed drawer of her dresser._

_She eyed the handle. Could she do this?_

_She looked up and stared at her frightened face in the mirror. Her brown eyes were tired. Lack of sleep. What her husband's damned advisor wanted to her to do was impossible._

_But if she didn't—"As soon as I tell him, he'll throw you out," the advisor's cruel voice replayed in her mind. "You and your bastard baby will be helpless, outcasts in a foreign country. As for your...'lover'..."_

_"I'll do anything," she'd pleaded, "as long as you promise that the baby—?"_

_"The baby will be safe, provided you cooperate. I will never tell your husband it's not his. A great man like him doesn't deserve the dishonor. "_

_"What do you want me to do? I can go to my father in the south; he'd surely take me in—"_

_"No, no, no," he smiled. "That's not good enough."_

_"Then what?" she asked, exasperated. She hated the power he held over her at this moment. He'd never liked her, and vice versa._

_"I have access to a Telmarine herb," he said. "It's been called Marrina Felcar."_

_The blood drained from her face._

_"You've heard of it, I see."_

_She had._

_And now she was alone in her bedchamber, trying to gather the courage to do what she knew she must, for the sake of her child and her husband. Better she kill herself than he know that she'd loved...another...so passionately...for so long._

_Neither her child nor her husband deserved to know the truth. They wouldn't—couldn't—understand the pain she'd born, being close to—but not having—the man whom she'd loved forever. The short time with her lover had been worth any punishment to her, but as for her daughter and innocent, loving husband..._

_"Crush the leaf..." he had said._

_She took the leaves into her palm. She balled her fingers into a fist. The leaves crackled._

_"Drop it all into the glass. The more you put, the faster it will go."_

_It was as if he was in the room with her, speaking the instructions as she went._

_"Then drink it. Drink it all."_

_She looked down at the glass, unmoving. She closed her eyes, reminding herself for whom she was doing this. For her husband. For her lover. And for the baby._

_She raised the goblet to her lips and swallowed the wine. Surprisingly, it tasted normal; the leaves had disintegrated._

_She paused, curious about how it would feel to die. She felt nothing._

_She downed the rest of the glass and looked at herself in the mirror. Odd. Wasn't death supposed to hurt?_

_Suddenly, the goblet crashed from her hands. There was no pain, only numb darkness as her already-dead body fell to the floor._

_A baby's wail could be heard in the next room, crying out for a mother it would never know._

* * *

_This is a tale that begins during the eleventh year of the Golden Age of Narnia, when all was well in the land of the North. The last remnants of the White Witch's army had been stamped out, the Giants had been temporarily beaten back across the border, and peace prevailed under the guidance of High King Peter, Queen Susan, King Edmund, and Queen Lucy._

_Our story begins when King Lune of Archenland sent his son Prince Corin north to meet the Four at the same time that Prince Rabadash of Calormen was also to make his first—and only—visit to Narnia. King Lune placed his son under the guardianship of Lady Saedra, a Duchess of Archenland, with the hope that his reluctant son would see the glory of kingship by being around King Peter and King Edmund._

_But there was also a secret scheme that only King Lune and Lady Saedra knew about, a scheme that would secure the tenuous peace of Archenland for good…_

* * *

"Duchess!"

A woman sat on the deck of a ship, reading a novel. At the sound of the exclamation, she looked up from her book to see an excited boy bounding across the long deck towards her. His messy blonde hair framed a face brimming with exhilaration. His royal clothes were dirty, as the clothes of curious children tend to be.

"What is it, Prince?" the woman asked, closing the novel. The boy was often excited about the smallest of things, so no alarm or strong interest could be found in her voice.

"Can you not see, my Lady?" the Prince replied, hopping up and down. "We've reached Narnia!"

The Lady quickly stood and put the book down on the barrel on which she had been sitting. She followed him to the port side of the ship.

"Does it look the same as you remember it?" he asked.

"It's only been ten years, my dear Prince," she smiled, looking out at the rolling hills of Narnia that had become visible while she was reading. "Places like Narnia don't change in ten years."

"How long until we reach Cair Paravel?" the Prince, Corin, asked.

"Oh, an hour perhaps," she replied, eying his dirty appearance and her own plain dress. "Perhaps we should start preparing ourselves for meeting the Four, hm?"

Corin grimaced.

She smirked at his expression. The thought of squeezing herself into a tight dress that would bring excessive attention to her lady-parts didn't appeal to her any more than the thought of cleaning up appealed to him.

"My thoughts exactly. We can wait a bit."

The Prince grinned. "You know, I'm terribly glad it was you that Father picked to watch me for this journey. If it had been any other Lady, she'd order me scrubbed from head to toe and in every orifice!"

"I doubt that!"

"I'm serious! You don't know the women in Court, Lady Saedra. They're a lot stuffier than you people on the coast."

The woman, Saedra, shook her head. "You underestimate the people from the coast, my Prince. My nanny turned her hair grey trying to turn me into a proper Lady! I daresay she only half succeeded, for my father spoiled me terribly."

"I wish my father would spoil me," Corin pouted, looking back at the coast of Narnia.

Saedra studied him for a moment, trying to see if the Prince was trying to make a joke. She had considered herself horribly spoiled by her lenient father, but Corin's father, King Lune, spoiled him far worse.

"I know of no other boy in Archenland who owns a pony, my Prince."

He looked at her with a revolted look. "A pony! For a boy of my age? I've had that pitiful creature since I was seven! For all I care, Father can give it away to whomever he likes. I want a real horse, a man's horse. Surely you had a horse by the time you were my age!"

Saedra tilted her head and thought. Had she had a horse at his age?

"Yes, I did," she admitted. Being spoiled was probably the only advantage to being an only child _and _motherless, something she and Corin both now had in common. Saedra's mother had died shortly after giving birth to her, and Corin's mother died just recently.

"See?"

"_But, _I wasn't promised my own suit of armor for my birthday," she reminded him, raising her eyebrows and tilting her chin down.

He pursed his lips, considering that thought fully. Finally, he said decisively, "I'd rather have a horse."

"Maybe you'll get one for your next birthday too," Saedra chuckled, and then suddenly looked around in alarm. "By the Lion, are we there already?"

More and more sailors were coming out onto deck, and land looked closer than ever. The first mate locked eyes with Saedra and walked over. "My Lady, we will be docked at Cair Paravel in fifteen minutes."

She gave a cry of alarm and turned to Corin. "Prince, run to your cabin and put on the nice clothes that you set aside."

Corin nodded and started jogging towards his cabin.

"Oh, and make sure you wash your face and comb your hair!" Saedra called after him. She turned back to the first mate. "I'll be in my cabin as well if you need anything."

"Of course, my Lady."

Saedra heeled around and went to her cabin. Once inside the cool, dark room, she stopped and looked around frantically. Where should she start?

"The mirror!" she said aloud, and ran to the full-length mirror bolted to one wall. She peered into it, her eyes still adjusting to the darkness. As she stood there, staring into her own wide brown eyes, she realized how fast her heart was pumping. She was nervous.

_There's nothing to be nervous about! _she thought to herself, turning her face every which way. She raked her fingers through her long brown hair, wincing as she hit knots. _I'm not nervous. I'm just excited. _

She grabbed her brush from the vanity and started brushing. When she realized how violent she was being, she stopped and stared at herself again.

"You _are _nervous, you fool! You haven't seen the Four in ten years, since we were children! And now, under these circumstances…."

She licked her lips and put the brush away. She went to the trunk and fished through it, trying to find the nice dress that she had put away for meeting the Four...and Prince Rabadash.

She stood up and wiped her brow.

_Prince Rabadash: the man that King Lune wants me to marry. _

It had seemed so simple back in Archenland when Lune had made the proposition to her. He had written to her, telling her how Prince Rabadash of Calormen was going up to meet the Four at Cair Paravel, and that word was he was looking for a wife. Wouldn't it be nice if Saedra were to happen to make the Prince fall madly in love with her? It would solve so many problems between Calormen and Archenland...

Saedra shook her head of these thoughts. _I shouldn't have said yes. _She picked up the special dress, walked over to the mirror, and held it up in front of her.

She didn't flatter herself that Lune asked her this because she was especially enchanting; it was simply her relatively high rank. She was the most eligible woman in the country, as all the other women above her were dead or married.

_Father would have talked me out of it and saved me the trouble...if he were still here..._

He wasn't. Her father, Duke Dane of Harden, had been dead the past six years. He had left his only child, a girl, a seventeen-year-old Saedra, a dukedom to manage all by herself. Now twenty-three, Saedra had fought her way into being generally respected as a person, though she wasn't "nearly as good as a man."

Saedra brushed thoughts of her father out of her mind and started changing into her nice dress.

_I wonder what the Four are like now. Will they be offended if they find out the real reason we've come up to Narnia?_

The truth was that she wasn't doing this just for Lune; she was doing it for her province. Ten years before, the province of Harden had been devastatingly pillaged by Calormene pirates. The Tisroc afterwards claimed ignorance, but did nothing to stop it. Now that Saedra was in power, she would do anything to make sure it never happened again.

_It's my responsibility to protect my people, and if marrying Rabadash is the way to do it, so be it. _

The last time she had seen the rulers of Narnia, they had all been children. High King Peter, Queen Susan, King Edmund, and Queen Lucy had recently deposed the White Witch and been installed as rulers by Aslan Himself. Duke Dane had been sent up as an emissary from Archenland to greet the new rulers, and had taken his thirteen-year-old daughter Saedra with him.

Saedra grimaced as she remembered how snobby she had been at first.

_Well, you were awfully spoiled, _she comforted herself. _You didn't know any better, right? _

Saedra had been downright snooty to the High King Peter. Deep-down she had been jealous of his power as High King, and had expressed it as disdain. Susan and Lucy hadn't been too thrilled with the way Saedra had treated their brother, but they had tolerated her when they had to. The one person with whom Saedra _had_ made a genuine friendship was Edmund. Edmund was simply amused and fascinated by her, and enjoyed the way she could make Peter turn red with fury. Either way, Edmund was the one she had missed when she left.

But now? Ten years later?

_They all probably still think I'm a spoiled tomboy! _she thought with chagrin.

She struggled with the last clasps in the back, wishing she had been able to bring her old nanny Gilda along to help her put on the fancy dress. Gilda had been left behind to manage her dukedom for her, since she knew Saedra's mind more than anyone.

Wisps of sounds started coming in through the windows, and she knew they had arrived. She checked herself in the mirror one more time, applying some last-minute touch-ups. She almost didn't recognize the proper woman in front of her. Her brown hair was perfectly straight, her face was lightly touched with eyeliner and lip balm, and the embroidered red gown pinched her waist and pushed up her chest to gasping heights.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be," she said to her reflection, and stepped outside.

* * *

The pier was packed with people. Saedra and Corin carefully walked down the plank, eying all of the creatures that had come to see the new arrivals. Corin's face was glowing with anticipation as he looked at all of the species that he had only heard of. There were Dwarves, Centaurs, Fauns, and Talking Animals of all shapes and sizes waving at them. More than once Corin would point to something to ask what it was, and Saedra would say, "That's a Minotaur," or, "That's a Satyr."

Saedra felt a lump of nervousness rise up in her throat as she scanned the pier for humans. At first she couldn't see any, but soon two women and a man could be seen walking through the crowd. As they went, the crowd parted for them and bowed reverently. Each of them wore crowns that Saedra recognized, and she waited at the base of the gangplank for them, unsure whether she should meet them or wait. She opted to wait, gripping Corin's hand.

The three stopped in front of her, and she curtseyed to them. "Your Majesties."

The King bowed and the Queens curtseyed.

"We welcome your Ladyship to Narnia," the dark-haired King said with a twinkle in his eye. "It has been far too long, Lady Saedra."

He was tall, much taller than before. His broad chest filled out his emerald tunic, and he was a man in every way.

"Thank you, King Edmund," Saedra said as gracefully as she could. She felt like she was being suffocated...her tight dress, the hot sun that seemed to have become hotter while she was in her cabin, the crush of people around them, and her deep nervousness made her strongly uneasy.

She turned to the two women who had pleasant expressions plastered onto their faces. One was tall, with long black hair and penetrating blue eyes. The other was shorter, with light hair and a heart-shaped face. They had every appearance of looking happy to see her, but she had dealt with royalty long enough to know that there was no joy to spare behind their eyes.

"Queen Susan, Queen Lucy, it is an honor to see you again."

"The honor is ours," Susan said in a honey-smooth voice.

Saedra turned to Corin and introduced the wide-eyed lad to the monarchs, then asked, "I must ask, your Majesties: What has become of the High King and Prince Rabadash?"

_Was that too obvious? _she wondered. _Lune wanted me to be discreet in my seduction of Rabadash...Is it strange to be asking for him right away?_

If they noticed anything amiss, they gave no clue.

"My brother Peter is taking a tour of the Northern Lands," Susan replied silkily. "He sends his regrets, but he won't arrive for a week or so. It is precautionary since we've had troubles with Giants."

"Prince Rabadash's travels have been delayed, and he won't be here for a fortnight," Lucy added.

"But this gives us a chance to catch up!" Edmund smiled at Saedra.

She tried to smile back, but she was feeling a bit light-headed at the prospect of being around Cair Paravel any longer than necessary. The land was beautiful, but the Queens obviously still did not like her.

"Please, may we go up to the castle? I think Prince Corin may need to rest after the journey," she said, fishing for any excuse to get indoors.

"Of course!" Edmund exclaimed, and rushed to take her arm.

"I do not need a _nap_!" Corin protested, but no one listened.


	2. Putting Aside Prejudices

**Putting Aside Prejudices**

* * *

_Dear Gilda, _

_I don't even know where to start this letter! The past couple of days have been…Shall we say, I thought coming up to Narnia for the second time would be different. I don't know what I expected, really. Wait, no…I do. We've talked about this. I somehow thought that maybe this time Queen Susan and Queen Lucy would like me. I didn't think they'd still hold it against me how bratty I was last time I was here—though one can hardly blame them._

Saedra sat back in her chair and looked around the spacious guest room she had been granted. Light from the late-afternoon sun spilled in through the large windows to the open veranda, and a light breeze twirled the translucent curtains. The air swirled with magic, but Saedra couldn't make herself _happy _to be in Narnia.

_I can't complain, really. The Queens have been nothing but gracious. But you know me, Gilda. I can spot feigned niceties a mile away. They try to include me once in a while, but I politely decline since it's painfully obvious that they really don't want or expect me to say 'yes.'_

_I've little hope that the High King will look past our history and accept me either. Why should he when his sisters who are famed for their graciousness won't?_

_King Edmund has been my only joy here besides Prince Corin. He has little extra time, what with double the work with the High King gone, but he spends it all with me. It's truly touching, because otherwise I'd be cooped up in my room all day writing letters._

_Speaking of letters, I received one from King Lune today. He's already itching to know how my relationship with Rabadash is progressing! I get the pleasure of telling him that the Prince won't be around for at least another week!_

Saedra set her quill in the ink and walked out onto the veranda. Her room was on the third floor facing the south, and the whole southern side of Cair Paravel could be seen spread out below her. The ocean was sparkling, and Narnians were moving about their daily business.

Everything around her was so peaceful, so happy. But inside, Saedra was in turmoil. Not only did she desperately want Susan and Lucy to like her—in fact, she had never in her life wanted anyone to like her as much as she did the Gentle and Valiant Queens—but the closer Rabadash's arrival came, the more she questioned her judgment in coming up.

_I'm not the one for the job,_ she thought_. Lune really should have asked someone else to try to win the Prince's heart. Someone who truly wants—nay, needs—to be married._

Saedra was completely comfortable in her role as Duchess and had little desire to forfeit that role. She had worked hard for it, and to give it up for a man…

_Remember, you did it for your King,_ she told herself._ It doesn't matter what I really want. I owe him so much, especially after how he supported me when I became Duchess when some of the nobles were questioning whether I was fit for the job._

_And think! If I marry Rabadash, I'll be able to go to Calormen. Just think of all the sights I'd see there!_

Just then, the door burst open.

"Duchess!" Corin yelped, rushing in through the doorway. "Hide me! King Edmund is chasing me!"

"Whatever is he chasing you for?" Saedra asked as he ducked behind her.

She twisted around to get a good look at him. His hair was tousled, his clothes were messed and ripped in some places, and he sported a nasty bruise under his right eye.

Before he could answer, Edmund appeared in the doorway, stopping short when he saw Saedra. "Pardon the intrusion, my Lady. I have come to have a word with the little Prince."

"Whatever is the matter, your Majesty?" Saedra asked, walking over to greet him. "Why is Prince Corin in such a state?"

"One of the Dwarves jumped me!" Corin declared, still clinging to Saedra from behind. "All I said was that I didn't like hags and werewolves and the like, and that they deserved to be stamped out. Then he got all offended and tried to _murder_ me!"

"It wasn't quite that extreme," Edmund said, walking towards them. "But that is the gist of it."

"Then why are you chasing the Prince instead of going after the Dwarf?" Saedra asked. "I thought it was common opinion that hags and werewolves were unwanted in Narnia."

"That _is_ the case for most Narnians. But the Dwarf—Stamprin is his name—with whom Corin picked a fight disagrees with that idea and has lobbied most fervently for hag rights. His argument is that we should not be prejudiced against a whole race just because 'some of them' supported the White Witch," Edmund explained.

"I can see his point," Saedra said. "I know little of either species, but I can't imagine that every single one supported the Witch."

"To be frank, Lady Saedra, I have never met a hag nor a werewolf that was not on the Witch's side. All they have done is cause problems for the freedom-loving Narnians."

"Exactly!" Corin said triumphantly, coming out from behind the chair. "That's what I said. I said I should like to go hunt for them and knock them all off the face of the earth! I did nothing wrong to be attacked—though I did rather enjoy knocking Stamprin down."

"That's precisely what I wish to speak with your Highness about," Edmund said. "If you didn't notice, Stamprin's in his dotage, and no matter if he starts a fight with you, it's cowardly to tussle with someone of that age. Especially you, Prince. You're high-born and should know better."

"I thought he was rather feisty—" Corin started to argue.

"Prince," Saedra interjected. "Please be respectful of the King and heed his words. We are guests in his home, remember?"

Corin slumped his shoulders and mumbled to Edmund, "I understand, your Majesty."

Edmund put his hand on Corin's shoulder. "I admit I'm on your side here. But Stamprin is one of my brother's most trusted advisors, even though he does have a different opinion on some things. It's unseemly to get into a brawl with a courtier, and it didn't further your cause at all."

Just then, Tumnus the Faun appeared in the doorway.

"Oh, King Edmund! I hadn't expected to find you here too."

"What is it, Good Faun?" Saedra asked.

"I came to relay a message from Queen Lucy. She invites your Ladyship to lunch with her on the eastern terrace this afternoon."

"Thank heavens!" Corin said dramatically, even though the invitation hadn't been for him personally. "I'm starving."

"Thank you, Tumnus," Saedra smiled. "I accept the invitation."

She was interested, for Lucy hadn't personally invited her to anything before; it was always her and Susan together.

"Well, let's go!" Corin said, going over and linking his arm though Tumnus'. Tumnus looked a little flustered, but a bit of delighted pinkness crept onto his cheeks.

As they were leaving, Saedra called after him, "Make sure you wash up before you eat, Prince!"

Edmund and Saedra heard a loud groan from the hallway and laughed.

"May I escort you to lunch, my Lady?" Edmund asked, bowing. "I've already eaten, but I can walk you down there."

"Thank you, Sire." She linked her hand through his arm and they left the room.

"That boy is quite an adventure," Edmund observed. "I'm impressed that he hasn't been in more scrapes!"

She sighed dramatically. "I think King Lune lost his senses when he thought sending Prince Corin up here was a good idea. I don't see how him being around is going to help—" She cut herself short, realizing what she was saying. She had almost said, "help me with Rabadash."

He didn't notice. "I think he's been a fine addition. Susan and Lucy adore him!"

"That they do," she agreed in duller voice. She wished Susan and Lucy would approve of _her _that way, but apparently she had ruined her chance years back.

Edmund looked at her sideways as they turned a corner. "They like you, my Lady."

"They have a funny way of showing it," she blurted. _That was lady-like, Saedra!_

"They're…they're still getting used to how different you are," Edmund said, grasping for the words. "You've changed a lot. To be honest, we were expecting an older version of your thirteen-year-old self that would prance in and take over!"

Saedra laughed. "You can't be serious!"

"I'm completely serious. Susan even made a comment to that effect right before you came down the plank to greet us."

"Well, perhaps I should be a bit more obnoxious so I don't disappoint them," Saedra said slyly.

Edmund laughed. "Anything but that!"

"If you're sure, your Majesty…"

They had arrived at the doorway to the eastern terrace. Edmund stopped and put his hand on her hand resting on his arm. "Lady Saedra, I have a request to make of you."

"Anything!"

"Please call me Edmund, and none of this 'your Majesty' nonsense."

Saedra blinked in surprise. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Completely."

"If you want me to! But then you must call me Saedra."

"Nothing would give me greater pleasure, Saedra," he winked.

"I'm flattered to hear you say so, Edmund," she smiled. The name felt strange but pleasant on her lips.

* * *

_Lunch could have been worse,_ Saedra thought as she walked through the doorway to the castle gardens. Corin had monopolized the meal, but even without him the meal was more pleasant than any other so far without Edmund there. Saedra appreciated that Lucy was trying to be more accepting of her. She had been friendlier this time without Susan, which was interesting.

Pleased that she had made some progress with Lucy, she was allowing herself to digest the delicious meal by talking a stroll. Tumnus was taking Corin for a ride in a canoe to see the mer-people, so she didn't need to worry about him.

She was in her new favorite place at Cair Paravel: the enclosed garden. For the past couple of days, she would go there whenever she was bored. With all of the exotic flowers and beautiful birds that would alight on the branches of the trees, it was truly a magical place. The stone wall around the garden was low, so Saedra could lean on it and have a great view of the ocean and the East. It reminded her of a similar view of the East she had from the cliffs at Harden.

She stared off towards the East, wondering if the stories about Aslan were true, that he really did come from across the sea, when she was interrupted by a voice casually saying, "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

Startled, Saedra turned and saw that it was a man that had spoken; a very handsome man. He wore the finest clothes that fitted to his tall, strong body. He had light hair, and atop that was a golden crown, revealing him as the High King Peter.

Saedra instantly dropped into a low curtsy. "It is, your Majesty."

He had an air of authority about him that made her feel very small; he had certainly grown up in more ways than one.

When she looked up, she was unnerved by the intensity of his eyes. They had always seemed like they could peer into her soul, which was perhaps why he was such a renowned leader. She had never liked that, but now she didn't find it so unpleasant.

Peter leaned over and rested his elbows on the wall in the same fashion that Saedra had. "The gardens are a great place to meditate. It is so quiet here…you almost feel as if you're in Aslan's country."

Saedra was a little surprised at the way he was acting. Did he already realize who she was and just didn't care enough for courtly manners? He hadn't bowed, and it was the very least someone in his station would do out of respect for a foreign dignitary like her. But they _had_ been mortal enemies last time they'd met, so maybe that changed things.

"How was your journey, Sire?" she asked, trying to feel him out.

He looked at her and smiled. "Exhilarating, necessary, and yet tiring. Thus far the Giants haven't crossed the border, thankfully."

"I'm glad to hear it," Saedra replied. "The King and Queens must be happy to have you back."

"I haven't seen them yet, but I hope so," he grinned, locking eyes with her.

She felt her cheeks warm, and she glanced away.

_Get a hold of yourself, Saedra! You can't seriously be shy around King Peter of all people, the boy you used to have such loud tiffs with! _

She forced herself to look back at him with as passive an expression as she could manage. He was still watching her. She smiled courteously, and he looked away and blinked several times, perhaps realizing that he was staring.

To cover up the awkwardness that was mounting, she cleared her throat and asked, "Did you just return today, my Lord?"

"This morning," he nodded. "Stamprin told me that they're busy at the moment, so I figured I'd take a walk, and here I am." He studied Saedra again, taking in her teal gown and elegant posture. "I've not seen you here before. Are you a Dryad?"

At first Saedra was at a loss for words, because she had never been compared to a Dryad before and was astonished at the thought. She had met Dryads and was aware of how respected they were in Narnia for their wisdom and beauty. "A Dryad, your Majesty? Certainly not!"

Peter was flabbergasted by how emphatic she was and stood up straight. "I beg your pardon, my Lady. If that was offensive to you…"

"It wasn't offensive in the least, your Majesty. Rather, I'm quite flattered!"

"If I may ask, who are you?" he asked. "I mean, you seem to know who I am…"

"I'm Saedra, your Majesty. Saedra of Archenland. I'm Prince Corin's guardian for his visit here."

"Saedra…Saedra…I once knew a Saedra from Archenland. Is that a common name there?"

"It isn't, your Majesty. My mother was a foreigner, and I'm told she gave me my name. I haven't met another Saedra in my lifetime."

He still couldn't seem to grasp the idea that the Saedra before him was the Saedra he remembered. "Do you have a father?" he pressed further.

"Yes, your Majesty," she smiled. "Most creatures have fathers."

Peter's ears reddened. "Pardon the foolish question, my Lady. I meant, was your father well-known?"

"Well enough. He was Duke Dane of the Harden Province, may Aslan guard his soul, and he travelled a great deal in his younger years." She was being a tad unkind to prolong Peter's agony, but she was enjoying seeing him deal with the living contradiction before his eyes.

His eyes widened. "You're—you're _Saedra_?"

She chuckled and grinned widely. "Yes. I just said that, your Majesty."

Peter looked at her with his mouth agape for a moment, then said, "Forgive me, my Lady! I didn't recognize you!"

"I don't blame your Majesty a bit! Had you not been wearing your crown, I wouldn't have recognized your Majesty either."

He laughed disbelievingly. "This is a marvelous thing! You look—I mean, you're so…" His voice trailed off as he studied her fully through the new lenses.

"Different?" she offered. "Old? Ancient? Decrepit? Deathly?"

"_Accomplished_ was the word I was thinking," he laughed.

"Accomplished?" she asked teasingly. "How could your Majesty judge my accomplishedness by my appearance?"

"One could hardly be so beautiful and not be accomplished in some way, my Lady."

She felt a blush creep onto her cheeks. "Your Majesty has turned into quite a flirt, I see!"

"I was about to say the same for you, my Lady…or should I say, Duchess? It _is _a nice change, I must say."

Saedra's face felt like it was on fire by now. "It touches me to hear this, oh High King."

"It touches me that it touches _you_," he winked.

_King Peter surely must know his way around the women with the way he flirts!_ she thought.

Just then, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy came running through the shrubbery towards them, beaming happily.

"Stamprin told us as soon as we got out of Court!" Susan gasped, throwing her arms around her older brother. "You're here early!"

Peter laughed and wrapped his arms around his sister. "There was no reason to stay away longer! The Giants have been as peaceful as lambs."

Susan moved back so Edmund and Lucy could greet their brother, noticing Saedra. "I see you've already been acquainted with one of our guests, Peter."

"That I have." Peter smiled at Saedra over Lucy's head.

Susan looked from Peter to Saedra uncomprehendingly. "Do you not realize who it is?"

Peter released Lucy and straightened his clothes nonchalantly. "Why, of course I do. It's Duchess Saedra."

Saedra smiled, amused that she was being talked about as if she were mute. Strangely, she wasn't bothered by Susan or Lucy as much. Peter seemed to accept her, and that was a step in the right direction.

Susan still didn't understand, looking back and forth at her older brother and the Duchess.

"Come now, Su!" Edmund exclaimed. "You didn't think Peter wouldn't recognize an old friend now, did you?"

Susan only mouthed incoherent words, prompting her siblings to laugh at her.

"Come, let's go see if dinner's ready," Peter said. "I'm starving!"

The Four started to walk back towards the castle, arms around each other, but Saedra stayed behind, afraid to intrude upon the family reunion.

Peter stopped and looked back. "Care to join us, Lady Saedra?"

Saedra's insides warmed. "I'd love to."


	3. The Games Begin

**The Games Begin**

* * *

"I thought I might find you here!" Lucy exclaimed, looking down at Saedra. Saedra had been sitting beneath a tree in the garden, hunched over her thick novel.

Saedra snapped her head up in surprise. Seeing the Queen before her, she stood up and curtseyed.

"Your Majesty!"

Lucy's eyes twinkled happily. "I apologize for startling you, good Lady. My duties this afternoon have been slow, so I was looking for you."

"Looking for me, your Majesty?" Saedra asked, putting her hand on her chest.

"Yes, looking for you," Lucy smiled. "We haven't gotten to know each other that well. There's always someone around to distract us."

Saedra blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected the Queen to even think about her. Saedra had been flattered that the Queen would invite her to dine with her as often as she had!

"No, we haven't, your Majesty."

"Come," Lucy said, holding out her elbow. "Let's walk."

Saedra linked her elbow through the petite Queen's, and they began to stroll on the stone path that weaved among the bushes.

"I'm flattered that your Majesty would think of me," Saedra said, saying the first thing that came to mind to make conversation. "My stay has been more than pleasant."

Indeed, it _had_ become pleasant. Ever since Peter had come, her stay had become infinitely more enjoyable. Peter made no issue of their bad history, and Susan had started taking his lead, starting to accept Saedra as well. Each day became more enjoyable than the one preceding it.

"I'm glad to hear that, truly," Lucy replied. "But I was hoping to get to know _you _better. It's not often that we see another human woman here."

"No?" Saedra asked, raising her eyebrows. "I would think that many women would come up here to meet your brothers. They're awfully handsome and eligible."

Lucy giggled. "Oh, that's certainly true. We _always _have women seeking the hand of my noble brothers. And they always leave disappointed. That's not what I meant, though. I meant it wasn't often to see another human woman here who didn't have an ulterior motive. You're simply here as Prince Corin's guardian, not to woo my brothers." Lucy looked at her sideways, looking comically suspicious. "Or are you?"

Saedra felt a pang of guilt. _Oh, I do have an ulterior motive, _she thought. _But it has nothing to do with your brothers. _

She simply chuckled. "No, I'm not. I have no intention for your Majesty's brothers whatsoever."

"Good," the Queen said, satisfied. "Then we can be friends."

That declaration seemed strange to Saedra, but it was amazing how those few words changed so much between her and Lucy. They continued to talk, about everything and nothing at the same time, and the more they talked, the more Saedra felt like Lucy _was _her friend. In fact, it felt as if Lucy had _always _been her friend. Saedra felt like she could tell Lucy anything, and that it would be held in the strictest confidence. The five-year age gap between them meant nothing, as Lucy had seen more of the world than Saedra ever did.

As the sun began to set, Lucy said, "Shall we go prepare for dinner?"

"Yes, lets," Saedra agreed.

They entered the cool castle and made their way to the royal chambers. Saedra didn't know where they were headed, but she allowed Lucy to leaf her. On the second floor, in an area Saedra had never been to or noticed, Lucy stopped before an ornately decorated door.

"This is my room. Would you care to come in?"

Such a simple question, but it made Saedra feel so accepted. "Why—yes, your Majesty!"

As Lucy guided her in, she said, "Oh, and I know Ed has already requested that you call him by his first name, so I must ask you to do the same with me."

Saedra felt like doing a happy dance.

The room was gorgeous, with luscious space rugs and pillows, a large four-poster bed, and beautiful art on the walls.

Lucy walked to the center of the room and gestured around. "This is it! That courtyard over there connects to my siblings' rooms as well."

Saedra went to the entry to the courtyard curiously. The stone yard was square, with one doorway on each side. In the middle was a fountain with the bronze figure of a leaping lion on top.

"This is so beautiful!" Saedra breathed, turning back around to face Lucy, who had gone over to the mirror and was brushing her long hair.

"If you need to use anything of mine, go ahead," Lucy offered, cheeks pink with pleasure. She seemed to be enjoying having a new friend as much as Saedra was.

"Thank you," Saedra said, and went over to look in a different mirror to see what needed to be fixed.

Just then, Susan burst out of the doors directly across the courtyard from Lucy's room, screeching, "_He's_ _here_!"

Lucy whipped around, her hands still holding her hair and the brush. "Who? Rabadash?"

"Yes!" Susan darted into Lucy's room. "How do I look? Do I need some face powder? Lip balm? Should I wear another dress?"

Saedra had never seen Susan so wound up before; Susan had always been the picture of cool composure near her. She stood watching them, worried Susan might be angry that she was in Lucy's room. But her mind was also racing, taking in this new information: Susan might also be vying for Rabadash's heart!

"By Aslan, what's gotten you so excited?" Lucy exclaimed. "I'd no idea that you were looking forward to their visit so much!"

Susan paused in her analysis of herself in the mirror and looked at her sister. "That was until I looked out the window and saw Peter and Ed entering the castle with him. Lu, I've never seen a more handsome man in my life!"

Lucy's eyebrows rose. "Indeed? What does he look like?"

"His coloring is no different from his attendants, for they are all tan-skinned with dark hair and eyes. But it is his facial structure and the way he carries himself that I find so…so…" Susan had started waltzing around the room, using her body to accentuate her description of the Prince. As she did so, she spotted Saedra standing in front of the other mirror.

"Alluring?" Saedra finished hesitantly, including herself in Susan's excitement about Rabadash.

"Exactly!" Susan said, releasing her breath. "All of Calormenes are _terribly_ good-looking. They make me feel utterly plain."

Lucy laughed incredulously. "Susan, seriously! Who is famed as the most beautiful woman in the entire world? It surely isn't one of them."

Susan looked sheepish. "I know, I know. I'm just so nervous!"

"Would you feel better if we go help you find them now? I can see you're itching to meet the Prince," Lucy offered.

"Would you? That would make me feel loads better. I want to see him face to face!" said Susan, her eyes glazing over.

"Why in the world would I not want to meet a dashing, charming Prince from a foreign land?" Lucy laughed. "Would you like to come too, Saedra?"

"Of course!" Saedra said, happy to be included.

After Susan was finally pried from the mirror, the three of them went to find the Calormenes. The first person they ran into was Corin in the south corridor on the first floor, and he was looking very happy.

"Have you seen High King Peter or King Edmund today, my Prince?" Saedra asked.

"Yes! They are giving the Calormenes a tour of the castle as we speak. They were walking through the west hall on this floor when last I saw them."

Saedra was surprised that Corin wasn't tagging along and being a nuisance around the newcomers. "Why are you not with them? I would've thought you'd be interested in the guests."

"Oh, I am, my Lady!" Corin replied gleefully. "But King Peter promised that if I was good, he may make me a Knight of Cair Paravel someday! So I'm trying to stay away as much as possible so I don't anger him in any way."

Susan had spent enough patience on Corin and moved on, walking at a fast clip. Lucy and Saedra rushed to keep up.

"What was Peter thinking?" Susan exclaimed, dismayed at the thought of Corin being a Knight.

"Why are you displeased?" Saedra laughed, feeling more bold around Susan. "I'd have thought that your Majesty would be happy that Prince Corin will not scare away your Prince Rabadash. Besides, he won't be good long enough to earn that title anyway!"

"That's true…but Corin even possibly a Knight? The thought!" Susan said just as they rounded a corner. In the middle of the hallway in front of them stood Peter and Edmund, along with four Calormenes.

Edmund was the first to spot them. "Susan, Lucy, Saedra! Come meet our guests."

The women went over, and Peter said to the tall, dark, and handsome man next to him, "Prince Rabadash, please meet my sisters, Queen Susan and Queen Lucy, and Duchess Saedra of Archenland." The three women curtsied, and Rabadash bowed with a flourish.

Saedra eyed the Prince. He held himself aloft with great dignity, and he had tan skin that complemented his white teeth.

_Yes, he will do. Definitely husband-worthy. A bit flamboyant with the fancy jewels and robes, but that's nothing. An accent would be positively charming! The question is, will he have me? _

She made a mental note of how she had prepared herself that day: grey velvet dress; hair in a high, loose bun; and some make-up around her eyes. Suitable, but not nearly the first impression she had been hoping to give him.

"It is an honor to meet all of you," Rabadash said in a voice that was neither too deep nor too high. "I have heard much of you all."

Saedra knew that he was being polite about including her in the praise. She was well-known in Archenland, but she doubted that she was known elsewhere. Susan and Lucy were, of course, famous worldwide.

"I have heard much of you," Susan said. "It's a great pleasure to have met your Highness. And who are your companions?"

Standing next to Rabadash was a young woman of exquisite beauty. She was voluptuous and tall—even taller than Saedra and Susan—and had a long, graceful neck. Her face was breathtaking, and instead of having the normal brown eyes of the Calormenes, she had grey eyes. She wore a red top that bared her stomach and had a form-fitting skirt that trailed on the ground. She had the power to make any woman feel inadequate, and Saedra was no exception. Saedra was dismayed to see that she had linked her arm through Rabadash's and clung to him.

_More competition, _Saedra thought. _Curse Lune for putting me in a situation to win a Prince's heart against two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen!_

"My companion is my cousin, Rahai Tarkheena, daughter of Cradish Tarkaan and direct descendant of Tash. She has come because of her curiosity about your great country here and to keep me company."

Rahai curtsied in the Calormene fashion, and Saedra could not help but get disgruntled.

_She purposely bent forward like that so we could see down her shirt!_ she fumed.

"It is an honor to meet such great women," Rahai said in her accented, melodic voice. Saedra was convinced that she heard sarcasm.

Standing behind Rabadash and Rahai was a young man and a young woman in fine but plain clothes. Saedra gestured towards them, trying to take the attention away from Rahai.

"And who are the others, oh Prince?"

"Oh!" Rabadash said, taken aback. "These are our personal slaves."

Saedra was embarrassed that she had asked.

Susan changed the subject and asked, "Has the High King told you that we are holding a party tomorrow to celebrate your arrival? I hope you aren't too weary from your journey. If so, we can postpone it—"

"Do not fret, my dear Queen. Our journey was not strenuous, and I had been looking forward to experiencing a Narnian party," Rabadash graciously assured her.

"I do love parties," Rahai said. "I'm fascinated with dancing. Do you dance here?"

"Why, Tarkheena!" Peter said. "Dancing is our favorite thing to do at our parties."

"Then I hope you will find time to dance with me tomorrow, High King," Rahai said, locking eyes with Peter. "I don't doubt you are the best dancer in the kingdom."

Saedra and Edmund looked at each other; they both knew that Peter was a great swordsman, but he was no exceptional dancer. Saedra bit her lip to keep herself from snickering when Edmund rolled his eyes behind Peter's back.

"I shall reserve the very first dance for you, Tarkheena," Peter promised, oblivious to his brother and the Duchess.

* * *

Peter was true to his word, and the first dance the next night was reserved for the two guests. The High King danced with Rahai Tarkheena, and Rabadash, who to Saedra's dismay was instantly infatuated with Susan just as she had been with him, asked Susan to dance.

"Everyone seems to like the Tarkheena," Corin innocently observed from next to Saedra. They were sitting on the sofas along the wall, waiting for their turn to dance. Corin stared at the Calormenes who were silently watching the dance with solemn expressions.

Saedra was gnawing on her lip, trying to decide whether she should cut her losses and tell Lune that Rabadash was a lost cause. Why would Rabadash think of Saedra when there was _Queen Susan _to be had?

She vaguely heard Corin's comment and said, "Huh?"

"I _said_, the Tarkheena seems to be likeable," Corin repeated in a slightly annoyed tone. He wasn't used to people not listening to him fully.

"It's because she's beautiful," Saedra said dully. She had decided that Rahai Tarkheena was probably the least of her worries. Though she was only Rabadash's cousin and could still marry him, it was probable that he saw her only as a relative and nothing more; at least, that was the way he treated her. Susan was the one that Saedra was watching.

"She's not prettier than you or Queen Susan," Corin said, looking at Saedra and back over at Rahai.

"You're sweet, Prince," Saedra sighed, talking just to keep Corin happy. "She is definitely prettier than me."

It wasn't for a lack of trying on Saedra's part, however. She had put on a midnight blue dress that made her look slimmer, had her hair in braids all day so it was wavy and loose, and had applied stronger make-up to bring out her brown eyes. She had been pleased with the final result, but so far it hadn't made much of an impact on anyone besides Corin.

Corin sat up. "You know it's strange, but I think you and her look alike!"

Saedra doubted that, but didn't say anything.

Corin continued, "Anyway, I would much rather be with you than her any day. She's positively stuffy."

The music ended, and the rulers bowed to each other and the applauding onlookers.

A thought entered Saedra's head: if she couldn't win Prince Rabadash over because of her looks, she could sure try by using her personality. She could make him see how fun-loving and sweet she was. Besides, she wasn't _that _plain compared to Susan. The dress she wore amplified her good features and bared her shoulders; she had turned the heads of the other Calormenes there, so why not the Prince? She could still win this battle!

She suddenly stood up. "Let's dance, my Prince!"

Corin's face lit up. "Okay!"

She led the boy onto the dance floor, casually looking around to spot her prey. Peter was walking Rahai off of the dance floor. At the moment that her eyes were sweeping over him, he happened to look away from the Tarkheena and lock eyes with her. Saedra looked away instantly, hoping that he didn't think she had been watching him.

Saedra and Corin started dancing to the music along with the new couples. Rabadash and Susan were again partnered for the new song.

_Blast! _she thought, smiling down at Corin and pretending to not have a care in the world. _They're not even _trying_ to hide their interest in each other_.

Surprisingly, Saedra felt relieved.

_Do I even care that Rabadash likes Susan? _

She didn't, not really. She had no special feelings for Rabadash one way or the other. She could just tell Lune the truth about Susan and Rabadash; he would understand.

It was rather freeing to realize this, and Saedra laughed aloud.

"Yes, I thought it was rather funny, too!" Corin said. He had been talking the whole time that she had been puzzling over Rabadash and thought she was laughing at his stories.

As the song ended, Saedra said breathlessly, "Come, let's rest. You're too energetic for me!"

He beamed with pride at that statement and said, "Anything for you, my Lady."

They went over to the nearest table and sat down.

"Would you like me to fetch you anything to drink?" Corin asked.

Saedra looked at him in surprise at his courteousness. "Why, yes, thank you!"

He stood up, saying heavily, "Father's always telling me I need to be more chivalrous. You think that getting you a drink is chivalrous, my Lady?"

"Yes, I do," she smiled. "You'll be a fine King someday."

He groaned in agony as he walked away. "Don't remind me!"

Saedra laughed as he dramatically slumped his shoulders. She loved to tease him about becoming King, for she knew how he hated the idea of it.

_Foolish boy, _she thought. _How many of the impoverished children of Harden would give anything to be in his position?_

The province that she governed over had been decimated by Calormenes when she was ten years old, and had been fighting to regain its status ever since. Corin had no idea how good he had it.

She looked around, this time without searching for Rabadash. The well-decorated Great Hall was twinkling with candles, and many pairs or groups were dancing happily to the lively music. Edmund was dancing with Rahai, Peter was dancing with a nymph, and Susan, Lucy, and Tumnus were dancing together.

But if Susan was with them, then—

"O gracious Lady, may I claim your next dance?" an accented voice asked.

Saedra looked up into the very dark eyes of Prince Rabadash. His turban glistened, and his grand clothes swished as he bowed and held up his palm.

Had the stars just granted her a second chance with him? Had he noticed her even when she thought he hadn't?

_I will have to find out, _she decided.

"You may, oh Prince," she smiled flirtatiously, placing her hand in his.


	4. Dancing with the Royals

**Dancing with the Royals**

* * *

As Rabadash slowly pulled Saedra onto the dance floor, she looked around the room. A sense of triumph filled her; King Lune would be so pleased if he could see her now.

The pair started dancing, and Saedra commented, "You dance remarkably well, your Highness! I imagine that the dancing up here is much different than the kind in Calormen."

"It is, O my Lady," Rabadash smiled down at her, his teeth lighting up his handsome, clean-shaven face. "Queen Susan was kind enough to bestow upon me and my cousin Rahai Tarkheena a private dancing lesson just this afternoon."

"That is very generous of the Queen," she commented.

_Point one for Queen Susan,_ she thought. _She's better at this than I thought! _

"And you have learned so quickly, oh Prince. I'm _most _impressed." She wasn't flattering him; he _was_ light on his feet.

"I couldn't have had a better teacher, my Lady. Queen Susan is the most graceful woman I have ever laid eyes on." Rabadash looked away from her, scanning the room. There was no question that he was seeking out Susan.

Having heard enough of the precious Gentle Queen, Saedra said, "And how do you find the land of Narnia, your Highness? Is it very different than Calormen?"

"It is pleasing to the eye, O Lady, but quite different than the luscious greenery of Calormen," he replied. "How do you find it?"

"I like it very much! The lack of humans was something to get used to, but it is a most pleasing place."

_Come, Saedra! Think of something _interesting _to say!_

"What brought you north, O my Lady?" he asked. "I did not know that many Calormenes lived in Archenland."

She didn't understand what he was saying and asked, "Pardon me, my Lord?"

"High King Peter said you were from Archenland, unless my ears deceived me."

"That is correct, oh Prince."

A hint of annoyance crept into his voice at Saedra's lack of comprehension. "Then what brought you up to Archenland from Calormen?"

Saedra was wholly confused. "I've never been to Calormen in my life, Prince. This is only the second time I've left Archenland in my entire life."

"You mean to tell me that you are _not_ Calormene?" the Prince said disbelievingly.

"Whatever would give you that impression, your Highness?" she asked in surprise.

"Hah! Because your eyes and hair are as dark as the night, for starters!"

"That may be so, oh Prince, but does that make me Calormene? King Edmund himself has dark features as well."

"But it did not please the gods to give him dark skin like yours, your Ladyness."

"That's interesting of you to say, oh Prince, but my father was as fair as the day, and my mother (may she rest in peace) was Telmarine."

Rabadash didn't believe her. "That's not possible. You don't have an ounce of Telmarine blood in you."

Saedra blinked. "Pardon me?"

"It is as I said, O my Lady. I know my own kind, and you are as Calormene as I am."

She didn't know what to say to that, but she knew that he was wrong. "Then I cannot question that, for I can tell that your Highness is most knowledgeable."

Rabadash smiled triumphantly, as if he thought he'd changed Saedra's mind about her own heritage.

They talked about other trivial things, and Rabadash seemed much more interested in Saedra now that he had educated her about her ethnicity. As the song ended, he said, "I would be most pleased to dance again with you tonight, O my Ladyness."

"That would be delightful, oh Prince," she smiled encouragingly. "I thank you for the dance."

He bowed and kissed her hand. "The pleasure was mine, O my Lady."

She watched him as he walked away, and was pleased to see that he wasn't heading straight for Susan. Susan, however, was watching him with hawk eyes from where she was standing. Lucy, Tumnus, and Corin were conversing next to her, but she wasn't paying any attention.

Susan looked back at Saedra, and they locked eyes. At the betrayed expression on the Queen's face, Saedra felt slightly guilty. Susan looked away after a moment, then purposely headed towards Rabadash.

_Why are you feeling guilty? _Saedra asked herself. _You didn't do anything to sabotage Queen Susan. Prince Rabadash is fair game. _

She decided to go over and apologize to Corin for leaving before he had returned with her drink. He still held the full goblet in his hand, and was sipping from his own drink with the other hand.

"Lady Saedra!" Corin exclaimed. "I still have your wine!"

Saedra laughed as she took the cup. "What a gentleman! Thank you, Prince. I'm sorry I left before you got back."

Lucy smiled. "How was dancing with Rabadash?"

"Oh, it was nice enough," Saedra said casually, sipping on the cup.

Lucy watched her closely. "What was your impression of him?"

"He's very knowledgeable," Saedra replied with a straight face. "And he talked much of your sister."

Lucy looked visibly relieved. "Susan would be glad to hear that! She was a tad concerned that he'd asked you to dance because she'd displeased him somehow."

"I assure you, that's not the case," Saedra said honestly, then turned to the Faun. "How are you tonight, Tumnus?"

"I'm splendid, my Lady," he smiled, his hoof tapping on the floor to the beat of the music. He had the most genuine smile she had ever seen. "I must say, you look ravishing tonight."

"Why, thank you!" Saedra said. She deeply appreciated the compliment, as she had tried harder to look pretty tonight than she ever had in her life. "You look very handsome yourself."

Tumnus' cheeks turned a little pink, which Saedra found adorable. There was no wonder why Lucy loved being around the Faun so much.

"Who wants to dance with me?" Corin asked, putting down his empty cup. "I've only danced once tonight!"

Lucy smiled down at the boy and said, "I will, if your Royal Highness will have me!"

"Of course, your Majesty!" Corin bowed, holding up his palm.

Lucy and Corin skipped onto the dance floor, leaving a laughing Saedra and Tumnus.

"He has quite a good disposition for one who has so recently lost his mother," Tumnus commented.

"Yes, he does indeed," Saedra said, watching the boy. "He was extremely close to the Queen, and took it hard. King Lune thought it'd be best if he got away for a while, and it's turning out to be a good medicine for him."

"Maybe I should offer to take him to the Summer Festival," the Faun replied. "I think he'd like that."

Saedra had heard of the famed Narnian Summer Festivals. "That would make his summer!"

She looked back around the room. Peter was dancing with a beautiful Naiad, Susan and Rabadash were dancing _again_, and Edmund was chatting with some Dwarves.

"King Edmund doesn't dance much, does he?" she commented.

"No, not so much," Tumnus replied. "He does occasionally, when Princesses come calling. But usually he is content to mingle."

"I'm curious…what are the Princesses like that call on the Kings? I'm trying to picture the Kings dealing with their many admirers."

Tumnus chuckled. "Oh, they come in all kinds from all sorts of places. King Peter enjoys it more than King Edmund, as you probably can tell."

"Yes, I did pick that up," Saedra said wryly. "Have any of the women managed to make a lasting impression on either of them?"

"King Peter did fall for a Telmarine Princess, but that ended when he realized that she was only interested in his power, not him. King Edmund hasn't had anyone special yet."

Lucy and Corin came over, laughing happily.

"My word, Saedra! You didn't warn me about what an energetic dancer our Prince is!" Lucy gasped.

"Many apologies," Saedra laughed.

Corin beamed. "Who wants to dance next? Lady Saedra?"

"No thank you, not right now. I'm having a good time talking to Tumnus here."

"Oh?" Lucy asked. "What're you talking about?"

"I was just telling Lady Saedra how King Edmund hadn't had any lovers yet," Tumnus replied.

"Ah!" Lucy grinned conspiratorially. "And did you tell her why?"

"No, I didn't," Tumnus replied.

Lucy leaned in and said, "Edmund is in love with a mystery woman."

"Oy! What's that?" Corin asked.

"Nothing, Prince," Lucy said. "Would you be so kind as to fetch me some food?"

Excited at the notion of being a gentleman again, Corin ran off to oblige her.

"Here, let's sit down," Lucy said, and they followed her to some seats.

"What do you mean, he has a secret lover?" Saedra asked, supremely interested in this side of Edmund. "Tumnus just told me he hasn't had any lovers yet."

"He hasn't fallen for any Princesses, that's true," Lucy said. "But I can recall a night where Edmund drank too much wine, and—"

"What's this?" a voice interrupted.

They turned and saw that it was Edmund.

"Telling secrets, are we?" the King asked.

Lucy grinned. "No, no secrets. You may join us, if you like."

"I was going to see if Saedra wanted to dance, but that can wait. I will sit, thank you."

"Now, where were we?" Lucy asked, putting her finger on her chin.

"You were just telling Lady Saedra about a night where King Edmund was a tad drunk," Tumnus chimed in, trying to keep a straight face.

"What!" Edmund exclaimed.

"Oh, yes! Now I remember," Lucy said, ignoring her brother. "Well, it was late after a party a few years ago, and we were teasing Ed about a girl."

"_Many_ years ago," Edmund reminded.

"Four years ago, actually," Lucy amended. "Anyway, we asked him why he didn't like a certain Princess, and he said it was because he had already found a girl."

"What?" Saedra exclaimed in delight.

Edmund groaned. "Lu…"

"He said that he had found her a long time ago, and that someday he would marry her," Lucy went on. "He said that she was everything he wanted in a girl: spunky, funny, smart, witty..."

"Beautiful?" Saedra added.

"Nope! He said he didn't care what she looked like; all that mattered was her personality. But of course, looks would be a bonus," Lucy said gleefully. She was thoroughly enjoying embarrassing her older brother.

"That's very admirable," Saedra said, grinning at Edmund.

He looked back at her with a beet-red face that held an expression that almost made her pity him.

"Where did you meet this girl?" Saedra asked. "In an enchanted forest?"

Edmund rolled his eyes.

"Why haven't you married her yet?" Saedra pressed.

Edmund looked at her seriously. "Because I will not declare my love until I'm certain that she returns it."

"That's terribly impractical, Ed," said Lucy. "You could both go on loving each other and never know it, for ages and ages..."

"Until you're both old and grey and too ugly to be looked upon," Saedra added, smiling.

"And then one of you will declare undying love on your deathbed, but then it'll be too late!" Lucy continued. "You'll have to marry a gravestone instead."

"How tragic," sighed Saedra.

"I can't take this anymore!" Edmund exclaimed and stood up.

"Can't take what?" another voice asked. Peter had come over to join the conversation.

"Oh, no! Not another one!" Edmund lamented, rolling his eyes.

Peter chuckled. "I don't think I want to get involved with this one. Actually, I came over to see if Lady Saedra would care to dance with me." He looked at her expectantly.

Saedra opened her mouth to accept, but Edmund said, "Hey, I asked first!"

"Then why's she still sitting here?" Peter laughed.

"Because, um—"

"That's what I thought," Peter cut him off. He held up his hand to Saedra, "Shall we, my Lady?"

Saedra hesitated a moment, looking between the brothers. Edmund's face was still red, and now he looked slightly annoyed. Peter was looking at her expectantly, looking especially dashing with his dark clothing.

"Um…" she said uncomfortably.

"How about I'll dance with Ed and you dance with Peter, then we can switch off?" Lucy volunteered.

"Sounds good to me," Peter said. "Shall we, Duchess?"

Saedra stood up and placed her hand in his. When Peter turned away, she looked back at Edmund apologetically.

As she and Peter started dancing, he smiled down at her. "So what _were_ you all talking about?"

"Edmund's secret crush," she said. It was impossible not to smile back; Peter had such a charming grin.

"Ah," he chuckled. "We tease him about that mercilessly."

"So I see!"

"Is there any secret crush that we can tease you about, my Lady?"

"Sadly no, your Majesty. You?"

"Unfortunately, no. I'm sure Lucy told you all about my courting history, what there is of it."

"She said that you certainly enjoy the company of your admirers."

"It's better to enjoy them than to make enemies with other countries by shunning them, don't you think?"

"It depends on what you mean by 'enjoy,'" she said boldly.

"Is your Ladyship suggesting that I have been less than respectable with my admirers?"

"I'm suggesting nothing, your Majesty. Only being cautious of being another of your conquests, if in fact that is how you view them."

Peter blinked. "You've already formed an opinion of me, I see. I don't know what would assure you that my intentions have always been for the benefit of Narnia."

"Your word would be enough, your Majesty."

"Then I give your Ladyship my word that my intentions have always been noble. I did fall for a Telmarine Princess by the name of Priyah, but it was _her_ intentions that weren't completely noble and led me to cancel our courtship. I entertain the other Princesses that come in order to maintain the peace of the country, nothing more."

Saedra felt embarrassed that she had elicited such a long and heart-felt response from the High King, especially since her first impression had been wrong. "I thank you for the explanation, your Majesty. You certainly don't owe it to me, a lowly Duchess."

"If it isn't obvious enough, your good opinion matters to me, my Lady," he said, looking at her sincerely.

Saedra felt a blush creep onto her face. It was becoming a habit of hers, to get a bit flustered when he was around. She looked down, then back up at him; he was still waiting for her response intently.

"Thank you, your Majesty," she said softly. "Your good opinion matters to me too."

Peter looked very pleased at that. "How do you like the Calormene Prince? I saw you dancing with him earlier."

"He was pleasant enough. He tried to convince me that I'm Calormene, even though my father was an Archenlander and my mother was Telmarine. Of course, I agreed with him. I know better than to tell a Prince that he's wrong! Corin taught me that much."

He threw his head back and laughed. "Your Ladyship is too much!"

"Thank you, your Majesty," she smiled cheekily. "And how was the Tarkheena Rahai?"

"She's a quiet, pleasant woman. I think she's spooked by the Talking Animals, but I assured her that they're harmless."

"Maybe your Majesty could offer her Queen Susan's horn in case she ever feels endangered," she giggled.

"Hah! I'm sure Susan would like _that_!"

"It _would_—how did you say it?—'maintain the peace' between Calormen and Narnia," she said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Spoken like a true diplomat, my Lady!"

Edmund and Lucy came behind Peter, dancing so they wouldn't be run over. Edmund tapped his brother on the shoulder.

"I believe this Lady owes me a dance."

"That she does, that she does," Peter said, stopped their dancing. He bowed to Saedra. "It was a pleasure, my Lady."

"Thank you, your Majesty," she curtseyed.

Peter held his arms out to Lucy and said, "Shall we, sister?"

"We shall," she replied, and they started dancing.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important," Edmund said, stepping in front of Saedra.

"Not at all!" she smiled up at him. "We were just laughing about how many admirers he has to deal with."

They hopped into the line that had formed in the dance, holding hands. They passed Rabadash and Susan, who had eyes for no one but each other. When the line split up into a different formation, Edmund said, "People often ask me if I envy Peter's position, and I can honestly say no. All of the admirers are a big part of it!"

"I would feel the same way! Wanting me only for my power…it wouldn't make me feel good about myself."

"Precisely. Fortunately, Peter has enough self-respect to be able to handle it well."

Saedra and Edmund danced for a long time, until Corin interrupted them, demanding that Saedra dance with him. She danced with the young Prince until Rabadash came back, asking for one more dance with her.

Her dance with Rabadash was better than the first one, but she didn't feel like she was doing a good job of making him fall in love with her. He would constantly look around for Susan and mention her.

In the wee hours of the morning, the party ended. Saedra stumbled back to her room and collapsed onto the bed tiredly; her legs felt like jelly.

_What a night! _she thought drowsily. _So much dancing…_

Her last thought was that she hadn't gotten very far with Rabadash, but that strangely, she didn't care.


	5. An Archenlander Who Can't Arch

**An Archenlander Who Can't Arch**

* * *

The next day, Saedra slept in late. It was almost noon by the time she lazily rolled over, opened her eyes, and noticed the position of the sun through the opening to the balcony. Her face felt dry and crusty, and her stomach ached. And little wonder, for she had been lying on her back still wearing her tight party dress and makeup.

"Ugh," she said aloud, sitting up slowly. She looked across the room to the mirror. When she spotted her reflection, she nearly laughed; she looked like a raccoon with a bird's nest perched atop its head.

She rolled over and got out of bed slowly. As soon as she put weight on her legs, she winced. They were no longer jelly-like—they were hard as rock and hurt something fierce!

She hobbled over to the closet and slowly peeled her navy blue dress off of her body. She went to the water basin and scrubbed her whole body clean, trying to rid herself of any foul smells, then threw on a robe.

She limped back to the bed and flopped onto her stomach, her face buried in the quilt.

_Well, I failed. After last night, there's no question that Prince Rabadash and Queen Susan are infatuated with each other. _

She chuckled to herself. _That is actually quite a relief, I must say. Rabadash may be handsome, but there was no chemistry between us. King Lune will simply have to find another means of securing peace between our countries. _

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Coming!" Saedra hollered, sitting up. She went over and opened the door a millimeter. When she saw that it was only Lucy, she opened it wide so that the Queen could enter.

"Good afternoon!" Lucy said, bright as the sunshine. "I thought you might still be in bed."

Saedra groaned and plopped down on the bed. "I hope I haven't been entirely rude by missing breakfast. I just feel so sore!"

Lucy held up some envelopes that were in her hand. "The Birds brought these letters for you today, and since I wanted to see if you were ready anyway, I said I'd bring them up."

"Thank you!" Saedra took the letters from her and scanned the handwriting on them. One was from Gilda back in Harden, and the other was from King Lune.

"Also, I wanted to make sure you were still coming with us for the picnic and archery this afternoon," continued Lucy.

"I forgot about that! When are you leaving?"

"In half an hour," replied Lucy. "You still have time if you hurry."

Saedra glanced down at her letters longingly. She did want to go on the picnic—very much—but she desperately wanted to read her notes; they might contain important instructions from King Lune or pressing news from Harden.

Lucy read her expression and said, "How about I pick out some clothes for you, and you can see what your letters say?"

"Would you?" Saedra said gratefully. "That would be excellent. Besides, I don't know what to wear to archery practice."

Lucy laughed. "It doesn't matter what you wear! It looks to be a hot day, so I'll pick out something light."

Saedra ripped open the letter from Lune and scanned it.

…_It pleases me to hear that his Highness Prince Rabadash has finally arrived. I'm anxious to hear what thy impression of him is. The alliance between thee and him would be a great asset to our people, and to thy coastal province especially. I know I can count on thee to make this arrangement with delicacy and taste, my Lady. Thy esteemed father (may he rest in peace) trained thee well in the art of diplomacy…_

"Now let's see here…" Lucy continued as she flipped through the dresses.

Saedra wasn't paying attention to Lucy; she was digesting what Lune had reminded her of. She had lost sight of the _reason _that she was trying to win Rabadash's affections. It wasn't just for the convenience of an alliance between Calormen and Archenland, it was for the future survival of _her _people; the people whose land had been sowed with salt, just out of the spite of the Calormene raiders. The people who barely made enough to survive.

"This is what I'd wear if I was you." Lucy pulled out a golden yellow dress that had white lace sleeves. "This is light enough so you won't get too hot, but it's very pretty."

Saedra accepted the dress. "Thank you, Lucy." She grabbed some undergarments and went behind the partition to get dressed.

Her mind was racing with thoughts as she slipped into her clothing. Could she just tell Lune that it was a hopeless cause? That Queen Susan had already won his heart?

_It hasn't even been two days since they arrived, _she reminded herself. _He may question why I've quit so early._

But there was another angle to think of, and that was of the relations between Archenland and Narnia. What if they were tarnished by Susan's potential dislike of Saedra, who was representing her country? Archenland couldn't afford for there to be any bad blood between it and Narnia. Archenland was a small country smashed between two larger ones, so it was always keeping a delicate balance. Saedra was walking a fine line between pleasing Rabadash and angering Susan, and she knew it.

Before she stepped around the partition, she took in a deep breath and thought, _Today will be the final test. If I don't make any progress with Prince Rabadash today, then I will abandon the mission. _

When Saedra came out, Lucy clapped her hands. "I do have excellent taste, I must say," she joked. "You look radiant."

Saedra smiled and did a curtsey dramatically. "I owe it all to my stylist."

Lucy giggled, her eighteen-year-old innocence shining through. "Come, shall we go down to the stables? That's where we're all meeting. Ed said he'd make sure Prince Corin was ready."

Saedra linked her arm through the Queen's and they walked out to the stables, rehashing all of the details of the party the night before. When they entered the stables where the dumb horses were kept, they saw that they were the last to arrive. Peter, Susan, Edmund and Corin, Rabadash and Rahai, and other Dwarves and Centaurs were standing around saddled horses, talking merrily.

"Ah, here come the snails!" Peter said jovially when he saw his sister and Saedra. He turned to an attendant and called, "You there, bring those horses over here!"

A Dwarf led two horses over to them and said, "Here you go, your Majesty."

"Thank you," Peter replied, handing the reins of one to Lucy. Lucy hitched her foot into the stirrup and swung herself upon it smoothly.

"What is it, my Lady?" Peter asked Saedra.

Saedra had been unconsciously staring at how Lucy sat, with one leg on each side of the horse. Saedra rode like that whenever she was alone, but _never_ when she was in sight of other nobles! She couldn't believe Lucy would just hop on a horse like that in the presence of men! She rather admired it.

"Uh—nothing," Saedra said, looking away from Lucy and up at Peter.

Peter was beginning to ask Saedra if she needed assistance climbing onto the horse, but she quickly put her foot in the stirrup, gripped the saddle, and swung her other leg over so that she was sitting the same way Lucy was. She looked down at him, feeling very triumphant for being so brave as to mount a horse without the help of a man and sitting side-saddle. A slow smile grew on Peter's face, as if he could read her thoughts through her eyes. He smothered the smile and simply handed her the reins.

"Thank you, your Majesty," she said, taking them from him with self-satisfied, upturned lips.

"You're welcome, my Lady," said he with the same smile on his face.

They arrived at their destination half an hour later, at the hottest part of the day. It was a wide, green field where targets had already been set up in rows. There were trees bordering the field, and under these were spread blankets with baskets of food laid out. To the right was the sea, glittering in the strong sunlight.

Saedra had ridden next to Lucy and Corin most of the way, but as they were riding towards the trees where they would tie up their horses, Peter came trotting over between Lucy and Saedra.

"So, my Lady, are you going to teach me to arch today?" asked the High King teasingly.

Saedra laughed. "I hardly think I'm the person to do that! I shoot a little, but very poorly. Lucy here has kindly offered to coach Prince Corin and me."

"What!" Peter exclaimed in feigned shock. "An Archenlander who can't arch?"

Saedra tried not to laugh too hard, for it was a terrible joke.

Lucy leaned in and said, "I bet you anything he's been practicing that one the whole ride!"

"_I _can arch!" Corin interjected.

They halted at the trees, and Saedra suddenly realized that while she might have gotten _onto _the horse without exposing herself, getting off was another matter. She couldn't do as Peter and Corin did, which was simply lift a leg in front of them and hop off the side, because that would probably expose her undergarments.

She made sure Peter wasn't looking, fearing he might tease her for not knowing how to ride like a man; he had already seemed on the verge of teasing her when she had first mounted the horse. Now he was tying his horse to a tree, so she glanced out of the corner of her eye across his horse to Lucy. She watched as Lucy leaned forward, looped her leg over the backside of the horse (which didn't expose anything), and slid off while facing the horse.

Saedra quickly copied her, and felt a jolt from her sore legs when they hit the ground. She turned around, adjusting her skirts, and found herself face-to-face with Peter. _Quite _face-to-face. The High King had been starting to walk in-between the horses, and she had unintentionally stepped right into his path.

They both turned red and said "Excuse me!" at the same time. Then they awkwardly laughed at how they had said the same thing at the same time, and stepped back away from each other.

Peter waved his hand, saying, "You first, my Lady."

"Thank you," she said, trying not to sound embarrassed. She grabbed the reins of her horse and started pulling it towards a tree.

Peter saw what she was doing, and stepped over. "Oh, let me get that, my Lady!"

"Oh! Thank you, your Majesty," Saedra said, feeling more flustered.

Peter took the reins from her, and tied the horse to the tree. Saedra awkwardly waited for him to finish, feeling it'd be rude to simply walk away.

When he finished, he came over and said, "May I walk you over, my Lady?"

"You may," she smiled up at him, hitching her arm around his.

When they left the shadow of the trees, they saw that Susan was already starting to give Rabadash and Tarkheena Rahai a lesson in shooting. Rahai was horrifically bad, and Rabadash was pretty bad himself.

"Your Majesty," asked Saedra, "do they not teach archery in Calormen?"

"No, from what I hear, they don't," Peter replied as they approached Lucy, Corin, and Edmund. "They prefer using lances and swords."

"I wonder why that is," she replied thoughtfully. "Shooting from a distance is terribly useful in battle."

Peter leaned in and said softly, "I've heard it's because Calormenes lack the patience to make sure they are aiming correctly. Look at Prince Rabadash. Does he not strike you as the impatient sort?"

Saedra looked back at Rabadash struggling to aim the bow. She turned around, biting her lip to suppress a giggle. "Your Majesty makes an accurate observation, if a bit unkind."

"Who's unkind?" Edmund asked, overhearing the last part.

He held a bow by his side, and Lucy was tutoring Corin how to hold a bow. Saedra unlinked her arm from the High King's, and they nodded to each other courteously.

"Me," Peter replied, going over to Lucy and Corin.

"Ah, no argument there!" Edmund said, shaking the bow at his brother's back.

Saedra laughed.

"Well, would you like to shoot, Saedra?" Edmund offered.

"I'd love to, but I'll probably end up killing something! Lucy was going to give me a refresher, but she looks a bit preoccupied over there."

"Then I'll show you, if you'll allow me."

"Of course!" she said. "I didn't know you were good at shooting."

"I'm not," he admitted, grinning. "But I'm not that_ bad_."

While the others shot around them, Edmund instructed Saedra. Once when he was behind her helping her position her arms, Peter noticed them and called over, "Ed! You aren't trying to be fresh with the Duchess, are you?"

Edmund turned a deep shade of red at that, and quickly refrained from touching Saedra for the rest of the training session.

* * *

After a couple of hours, Saedra and Edmund had learned a lot more about each other than they had known before.

She learned that Edmund was very modest, for he was an excellent archer (though not near as good as Susan). She found out that besides his siblings, his best friends were a Horse named Philip, with whom he had first learned to ride, and a Lion named Mivvel whom he had drawn on when Mivvel was a stone statue. (That was a long story, but if you ever wish to read it, see "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe").

Edmund learned that Saedra was an avid book reader and that though she had travelled a scant amount in her life, she knew a lot about foreign countries through her books. He asked her if she had seen the library at Cair Paravel, and she said no, and he promised to show it to her and Corin the next day.

In late afternoon, dinner was set out, and they all entered the shade of the trees to sup. Saedra ended up sitting next to Rahai, the silent Tarkheena. On the other side of Rahai were Rabadash and Susan, both looking love-sick.

Saedra wasn't really interested in getting to know the stunningly beautiful Tarkheena; she made small talk, however, and learned that Rahai was an oldest daughter of a high-ranking Tarkaan. She had two younger sisters who were both engaged to Tarkaans. Saedra was curious why Rahai never married, but felt it rude to ask. Rahai looked to be about twenty years old, and her sisters were over five years younger than her.

After dinner, Saedra made a last-ditch effort to get Rabadash alone by pulling Corin aside and telling him that if he _really _wanted to learn how to shoot, he should ask Queen Susan. Though Saedra felt very sneaky doing it, it worked better than she imagined. Susan graciously agreed to oblige Corin, and Rabadash wasn't interested in leaving the shade again. Thus Susan and Corin left the six adults to relax in the late afternoon coolness of the trees.

Lucy came over to sit next to Saedra and asked, "So, how was Ed at teaching archery?" She looked over at Edmund with a grin.

"Much better than I expected!" Saedra replied. "I think I've improved a good deal."

"She has," Edmund piped in, leaning on his elbow. "She's a natural."

"That might be going a bit far…" laughed Saedra.

"In fact," Edmund continued, "I would venture so far as to say that some of my talents transferred over to her."

"That doesn't make any sense," Lucy said, making a face.

"Yes, it does," he replied. "I'm so talented that I have talent to spare on the needy."

"The needy!" Saedra exclaimed indignantly, laughing at Edmund's cockiness.

"I could beat you any day!" Lucy declared.

"You think so, eh?" Edmund challenged, sitting up.

"Let's have a match. Right here, right now," said Lucy. Her face was lit up, anticipating a challenge.

"You're on." Edmund said, standing up. "Would you like to watch, Saedra?"

"I'll watch just fine from here," she smiled. She wasn't about to lose the chance to talk to Rabadash when Susan wasn't around.

Edmund and Lucy ran off to duel. Saedra watched, feeling a bit of jealousy. She hadn't realized what she had been missing being an only child until she had met the Four. It was touching how close they all were.

"Where are they going?" Rahai asked in her smooth, accented voice.

Saedra hadn't realized that she'd been listening. "Oh, they're going to compete to see who's the better archer."

Rahai smiled. "I vote for Queen Lucy."

"What are you talking about?" Rabadash asked, him and Peter joining the conversation.

"King Edmund and Queen Lucy are having a competition, O my Cousin," Rahai replied. "Would you like to go watch it with me?"

"No, I wouldn't," Rabadash replied, looking very comfortable where he was lying on the blanket.

"I would," Peter said, smiling kindly at Rahai. "If you will allow me."

"I would like that very much, O High King!" Rahai said enthusiastically.

Peter stood up, and as Rahai was standing, he looked down at Saedra with an unreadable expression. She simply looked back at him until they turned away, headed towards the others.

Saedra turned towards the lounging Prince. He was studying her, looking her up and down; she didn't like that at all.

"O my Lady," Rabadash said, "I have not asked you before. What part of Archenland are you from again? I've been trying to remember who I know from my blessed land of Calormen that might have relatives in the North."

Rabadash wasn't giving up on the idea that Saedra was Calormene, apparently.

"I'm from the Harden Province," she replied. "It's on the north side of the Winding Arrow River, on the coast of the Bight of Calormen."

"Mm," Rabadash said, reaching for some grapes and chewing on them. "Never heard of it."

"It was subject to some pillaging by Calormenes a decade ago. King Lune went into an intense dialogue with your father because of it."

Rabadash didn't look the least bit interested. "I know nothing about that, as I was a child then."

Saedra wasn't sure if she believed him or not. "Surely you were aware of political situations even when you were younger, oh Prince. It is, after all, your future to be Tisroc."

"More or less," he shrugged indifferently.

Saedra was getting annoyed, but she endeavored not to show it. "It's a bit hot out, isn't it?"

Rabadash looked out onto the field, searching for Queen Susan. He didn't even bother to reply; Saedra bored him, he bored her. It was hopeless.

Saedra took one last look at him, stood up, brushed off her skirt, and said, "Excuse me, your Highness. I'm going to join the others."

And she walked away from him and from the idea of marrying him, and towards the people she really wanted to be with.


	6. Rhindon

**Rhindon**

* * *

She didn't want to admit it. It wasn't _possible_.

But like it or not, Saedra couldn't make herself believe that she _wasn't_ starting to fall for Peter. Yes, he was an incredibly attractive man; she had known that from the moment she had laid eyes on him in the garden. Now it was more than that.

Throughout the rest of the archery day, Peter had paid an excessive amount of attention to Tarkheena Rahai…and Saedra had been inexplicably jealous; in fact, as the day wore on, she had started boiling with jealousy and hardly been paying attention to whomever she was shooting with.

She hated the way Rahai would look up at Peter innocently as he patiently helped her shoot an arrow. She hated how beautiful Rahai was. But most of all, she hated the way Peter would sometimes glance over at Saedra as if to say, "This could be you, if you were more docile and pretty."

She didn't know if Peter was just being a courteous King by being attentive to the quiet Tarkheena, and she kept telling herself that that was probably what it was. But it was to no avail. She was smitten and jealous, and it had come over her quite suddenly.

She didn't like the feeling one bit. She didn't _like _wanting to see Peter so much; she didn't like the out-of-control feeling she had around him. She felt foolish and stupid around him, stumbling over her words.

All of these thoughts were swimming through Saedra's head as she lounged in the soft bed the next morning, thinking about the coming day and probably seeing Peter.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Expecting Lucy, she rolled out of bed while still wearing her nightgown and threw the door open.

"Edmund!"

When Edmund saw her in her sleepy state, he blushed and looked away. Saedra quickly closed the door until there was only an inch open through which she could peek at him.

"I'm sorry if I woke you!" sputtered Edmund. "I was just wondering if you're still keen on seeing the library."

"Oh! It might be a few minutes before I'm dressed."

"I can wait!" he assured her. "I'll just be out here."

"I'll be as fast as possible," she promised, and shut the door.

She washed her face, threw on a clean dress, and brushed her hair and put it up. She didn't look as nice as she wanted to (what if she came upon Peter?), but couldn't keep Edmund waiting any longer.

When she left, she found him pacing the hall. "I hope I wasn't too long," she said.

Edmund turned and looked at her for a second before speaking. He cleared his throat and said, "No, not at all."

She walked over to him and slipped her arm through his. "Shall we be off?"

He smiled, and they went to find Corin. When they came upon him, he was wandering around the halls with some Animals, having just finished breakfast.

When Edmund heard that Corin had been eating, he said attentively, "Saedra, mightn't we get you some breakfast first?"

"Oh, no!" she said, eager to see the library now that she was awake. "I often skip breakfast, and I'm not even hungry yet. Let's see the library!"

They climbed several flights of stairs and wandered through some less-travelled hallways, and finally they came to a door in a corner where the hallway turned sharply left. Edmund pushed open the door, and they stepped inside.

"By the Mane!" Saedra gasped, looking upward.

She had gotten turned around by all of the walking, and now they had come to one of the highest towers at Cair Paravel. The ceiling was extremely high, and the circular walls were lined with books all the way to the top. A staircase wound upwards, higher and higher so the books could be reached. Windows at random locations let the sunlight in, giving the room a dim glow.

"I didn't know there were this many books in the whole _world_!" Saedra said as Corin started rushing up the staircase in excitement.

"These were here long before we ever became rulers," Edmund explained as they strolled to the base of the staircase. "Many of these are simply histories of Narnia, Archenland, and the Lone Islands. Stories of Aslan and rulers of Narnia before the White Witch."

Saedra's face lit up at the thought of all of the interesting tales the books would hold. "How come the White Witch didn't destroy these books? It seems like she wouldn't have liked books that spoke of Aslan."

"We've wondered that, but we've come to the conclusion that she would've preferred to have the information available to her than to destroy it. There's a lot of magic within these books that she probably took advantage of. She was a very smart ruler."

"Oy! Lady Saedra, King Edmund, look who I've found!" Corin exclaimed, leaning over a banister a few levels up. A second later, Peter leaned over with a sly grin on his face, holding a large open book.

Saedra's stomach felt suddenly tight, and she wished she had paid more attention to her appearance.

_You knew this would happen! _she chided herself.

"Peter!" Edmund called up. "What are you doing here?"

"Just doing some readings for the meeting with the Mouse Delegation for tomorrow," he replied, starting to come down the stairs.

"And my father wonders why I don't want to be King!" Corin exclaimed, his voice echoing in the large tower. He was following Peter down. "All of this reading! Who has time for reading when you could be outside?"

Saedra and Edmund laughed.

"What would you do outside, young Prince?" Edmund laughed. "Wasn't yesterday enough?"

Peter and Corin descended the last of the stairs.

"Oh, that was fun enough," Corin said, "but what I really want to do is box! Or at least sword-fight."

"A boy after my own heart," Peter smiled, looking at Saedra.

She smiled back, hoping she wasn't blushing.

"I mean, even Lady Saedra likes sparing more than playing with silly arrows!" Corin continued.

Both Kings looked at Saedra. "Oh?"

"It's true," she admitted. "I do prefer sword-fighting."

"Then we shall have to spar sometime!" Edmund declared. "I would love to see a woman in action who likes sword fighting. Lucy and Susan have no interest in it at all!"

"I didn't say I _liked _it," Saedra quickly corrected. "I think it's utterly disgusting in battle, but I find that I'm more skilled at thinking on instinct than being patient and waiting until I get a clear shot with a bow."

"If anyone's to spar, shouldn't it be me?" asked Peter. "After all, we wouldn't want Ed to wound Lady Saedra, would we?"

Edmund knew that Peter was joking, so he didn't take offence. "You have the meeting with the Mouse Delegation tomorrow, remember Peter? You won't have time for fencing."

"We wouldn't have to do it tomorrow," Peter protested. "We could do it the next day while you're mediating the Moles' land dispute."

Saedra jumped in, laughing. "You are both very generous to be willing to spend time with me. I don't see why I can't fence with you tomorrow," she gestured to Edmund, "and them with your Majesty," she pointed to Peter, "the next day. I rather imagine the High King would be more aggressive, so Edmund will be able to help me get my bearings before I fight with him."

"I want to, too!" Corin added.

"Of course!" Saedra said, looking to Peter and Edmund for affirmation.

There was a split second where neither brother looked too thrilled about the third addition to the sparring plans, but they quickly hid it and said, "Of course, of course!"

"Just as long as you promise to be careful, Prince," Saedra warned. "I want to bring your Highness back to Anvard in one piece."

* * *

"I can't wear all this!" Corin exclaimed.

He, Saedra, and Edmund were in the armory, trying to find some armor that would protect Corin before they practiced sword-fighting. It was late morning after breakfast and another clear, fine day was outside, but at the moment they couldn't see how nice it was because the armory had no windows. It was cool down in the depths of the castle, and the room was lit by torches along the walls.

They were going to use blunt swords for practice, but even so, Edmund and Saedra agreed that Corin needed more protection (mainly to protect him from himself). The problem was that he was too tall to wear the short, fat Dwarf sizes, and too short to wear anything else. So they had put on the smallest human-sized mail shirt they could find (it reached his calves), and gave him Dwarf-sized shoulder and arm protectors. He was also given a Dwarf's helmet.

The end result was laughable, for the mail shirt hid his entire arms and draped over his hands, and the helmet hid the top half of his face. Saedra and Edmund pointedly avoided each other's gaze for fear that they would burst out laughing.

"It _is_ a bit much," Saedra agreed with Corin's declaration. "Perhaps he'll be fine with just the mail shirt."

"But I shan't be able to grasp a sword!" Corin reminded. "The mail is too long."

"We could see how the Dwarf mail fits," Edmund suggested, bending over to pick one up.

Corin removed the layers of armor and put on the Dwarf mail shirt. The sleeves only reached his elbow, but the rest hung past his waist because it was designed to accommodate large stomachs and so had extra inches.

"This will have to do," Saedra sighed. "I don't like his exposed arms, though."

"You make is sound like you intend to knock me down!" Corin said. "King Edmund is one of the best swordsmen in the land, so I hardly think I need worry that his Majesty shall hit me when he doesn't intend to."

"Wisely spoken," Edmund agreed. "We shall just be careful, and no harm shall befall our little Prince."

"Oh, I cannot wait until Father gives me a suit of armor for my birthday! Then I shan't have to worry about all this!" Corin said as he followed them out.

They went out into the fresh air to a grassy area on the castle grounds, and Edmund taught them the positions and moves of fencing. Corin and Saedra were both familiar with them, but it was helpful for him to quickly refresh their memories. After breaking for a light lunch, Corin and Saedra took turns sparring with Edmund. It wasn't until the sun was starting to set that the accident happened.

It transpired like this: Corin and Edmund were sparring, and Corin was getting bored with how careful they were being around him. He started hitting a little faster and using trickier footwork. Edmund easily matched his speed, but cautioned, "Careful, Prince."

Corin didn't heed his words, and tried to do a turn that he had seen someone do once back at Anvard. What he didn't consider was that the man he had seen whip around was an accomplished swordsman, and not a novice boy. But he attempted it anyway; his legs tangled beneath him and he fell to the ground in a heap.

Saedra wasn't alarmed because Corin had fallen a few times that day, so there was nothing remarkable about this time. But when she saw Corin try to get up onto his feet and fall back down, she rushed over and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I can't stand on my left foot," Corin grimaced.

"He must've turned it," Edmund surmised. "Here, Prince. Put your arm about my neck and I'll carry you inside to the nurse."

Corin obeyed, but wasn't happy about it. "I look silly being carried like this."

"It's better than walking on it and getting hurt worse so that you have to stay in bed and miss all of the fun," Saedra said.

With that reminder, Corin complained no more and allowed himself to be carried through the castle to his room.

"I'll find the nurse and see if she can look at this," Edmund said. "You stay here with Prince Corin."

"Can't Lucy put her cordial on it?" Saedra asked.

"We try not to use it unless it's life-threatening," replied Edmund. "It would be a waste to put it on something that would clear up fast. We'll see what the nurse thinks."

Edmund left and returned a while later with a short Dwarf. It had long red hair that sprouted in all directions, covering part of its face. The only indication that the Dwarf was female was that she had no beard on her wrinkled face and wore a dress. She waddled over to where Corin was laying on the bed while Edmund went to stand next to Saedra.

"I already explained what happened to Remanda, Highness," Edmund told Corin. "She's going to see how serious it is."

Remanda examined the foot with her hands for a few minutes, and then turned to the King and Duchess and said in a high-pitched voice, "It's not bad. A couple of days and he'll be on his feet. There's no need to use the cordial."

Corin groaned. "I rather wish it _had _been worse, because then I would be healed right away! Now I shall have to stay in bed."

Just then, the dinner horn sounded, and Corin groaned again. "And I am _so_ hungry…"

Saedra laughed at him. "Prince, do you really think we're going to make you starve? I'm sure the King would be willing to find someone to carry you to dinner—if you aren't too proud."

Of course, Corin's pride was not as important as his stomach, and he was carried down to dinner as Saedra said.

It turned out that Corin rather enjoyed the attention he received from the hurt ankle. He retold the story to anyone who would hear it, and every time it was told, it became more outrageous. Saedra and Edmund didn't bother to correct him because they were entertained by his stories as much as the next person.

At the end of dinner, Peter made a point to stop by where Saedra and Edmund were seated to say, "Pardon the interruption. I was wondering if Lady Saedra still wishes to spar with me tomorrow, or if she has become tired of it."

Saedra smiled happily and said, "Of course I would like to, your Majesty. Obviously Prince Corin will be unable to join us," (it made her guilty, but she was secretly glad about that), "but we shall try to have fun anyway, won't we?"

"That we will, my Lady," Peter nodded, seemingly not bothered that Corin wouldn't be joining them either. "How about we meet tomorrow on the grass on the north side after your breakfast? I'll bring the equipment out for us."

"How chivalrous of you," Edmund teased.

* * *

The next day was cloudy, but Saedra woke up rearing to go. She felt like smiling all through breakfast, looking forward to her time with Peter—anything could happen! Rabadash and Susan fawned over each other the whole time, but it couldn't dampen her spirits. Her sights were no longer set on a man she wasn't interested in, but in a handsome, funny High King.

After eating, she slowly walked to the north side. She didn't want to appear too eager by arriving early, and she also wanted to be able to digest what little she had eaten.

When she arrived on the green, Peter was already running through some moves, slicing his shimmering sword though the air. He moved as if it was a dance, gracefully yet deadly.

She stopped and watched him a moment, impressed with his footwork and physicality. She leaned against the wall of the castle with a small smile on her face. He was so engrossed in what he was doing that he didn't notice her at all. It wasn't until he did a move that had him pointing his sword straight at her that he saw her.

He froze, and she clapped.

"Bravo!" she said.

He dropped his hands and scratched his chin sheepishly. "How long have you been there?"

"A few minutes," she said, sauntering over. She was pleased with how casual she sounded, as if her heart wasn't pumping overtime. "Can you teach me to be that good, your Majesty?"

He inclined his head and smirked. "It might take a little time, my Lady."

Saedra spread her hands and looked around as if to say, "Do I look busy?"

A wide grin spread over his face, and he went over to a pile of equipment. He bent down, picked up a blunt sword, and held it out to her. "Shall we?"

Saedra smiled and took it from him, while he put his sword in its scabbard and picked up a practice one.

"You have a beautiful sword, High King," she remarked, impressed with its ornate engravings and beautiful sheath.

"Thank you, my Lady. Father Christmas gave him to me during my first Christmas here," he said, looking down at it fondly.

"Do you have a name for it?" she asked.

He looked up at her with raised eyebrows. "A name?"

"All the great heroes and kings of old named their swords, your Majesty, or have you not read the tales?" she said with a hint of teasing in her voice. She raised the sword in two hands before her, indicating that she was ready to start.

Peter matched her stance. "Is your Ladyship suggesting that I name my sword?"

"I was suggesting nothing, your Majesty," she replied, starting the jousting with a vertical cut. "I was merely asking."

He easily blocked it. "No, no. You wouldn't ask if you didn't think I should have one."

She giggled, blocking a horizontal cut. "Only if your Majesty wants one!"

"I want one because you want me to have one," he replied, smiling. "Do you have any good names?"

She thought as their swords crossed, running names through her mind. "'Wyfmab?'" she suggested, her breath becoming shorter.

"'Wyfmab?'" he repeated, moving to block her. He was keeping himself generally on the defensive.

"It was the name of some Archenlander king's sword…I can't remember which one."

He laughed. "Any other options?"

She pictured the sword in her mind, its engravings, its nobility, its esteemed wielder. "It needs a fearsome name that inspires respect...Something that will represent your prowess…How about 'Rhindon?'"

Peter didn't reply at first, simply focused on their sparring, which was becoming faster as Saedra got warmed up. She was afraid he didn't like the name and was preparing another one when—

"Yes. I like it."

"You do?" she asked.

"Yes," he smiled. "I do. My sword's name is Rhindon—Rhindon Wolfsbane—and you shall forever be known as the good Lady who named my sword."

Saedra beamed. "I'm flattered, your Majesty."

"Am I a great King now that my sword is named?" he teased, starting to become short of breath as well.

"Yes, High King. You are officially a great King."

"It means a lot coming from you, O my Lady," he puffed, imitating Rabadash's style and accent.

Saedra gasped in fake horror. "Your Majesty, it's rude to mock the Prince so!"

"Many apologies, my Lady. Perhaps I feel more unguarded around you than I should."

Saedra's face was already pink with exertion, so she couldn't blush. "I'm flattered again, your Majesty."

They sparred for a while more in silence, then Peter said, "I'm rather impressed with your footwork, my Lady. I wouldn't have guessed that such a beautiful woman hid such a warrior."

Saedra laughed, then choked on her laugh and started coughing. She continued to spar, however. "You're too kind, your Majesty! All I can say is that my father wished he had a boy, so instead of realizing that he had a little Lady on his hands, he simply _pretended_ I was a boy."

"And you turned into a Lady despite that," he observed.

"That's my nanny's fault," she panted, feeling a trickle of sweat run down the side of her head. "After my father died, she went into high gear getting me ready to be married off."

"And yet you are not married—or are you?"

"Not that I'm aware of, your Majesty!"

"And may I ask, why is that so?"

Saedra smirked. "I don't think it would be lady-like to answer that."

"That makes me all the more curious, my Lady."

"It's because I'm too independent, as you see here. I know perfectly well that there's no reason to marry, for I already have power and a reasonable sum of money at my disposal."

"And that's all marriage is?" he asked. "A means to power and money?"

"You know of what I speak, High King," she admonished jokingly. "I'm simply not willing to marry for the sake of marriage. If I marry, it's because it's helpful to my people somehow, or because I'm in love."

"And, dare I ask, have you ever been in love?" Peter asked, making a downward swing as he became more offensive.

Saedra noticed his cheeks were red after he said that, but it may have only been the exercise. "No, I haven't."

_But I may be very, very close…_

Peter seemed to like that answer, because he simply smirked and focused on the sword-fighting.

"And what of you, your Majesty?" Saedra asked, grabbing the opportunity. "Does the glorious Tarkheena catch your eye that way?"

He started in surprise, and she almost managed to hit him with the blade—but he blocked it just in time. "Tarkheena Rahai? Whatever gave you that idea?"

Saedra loved that answer, but she pressed him anyway. "Oh, because she's demure, a perfect lady, definite queen material…"

"I don't know how to answer that! I find her to be pleasant enough—and yes she's very becoming—but I'm certainly not smitten with her!"

_That's good enough for me! _Saedra thought with jubilation.

The time flew by as they teased each other and grew more and more sweaty. Peter was much more aggressive than Edmund, who had been holding back for Corin's sake.

Towards the end, Peter said, "We'd better stop soon if we want to have lunch."

Saedra had ignored the hunger pains in her stomach because she didn't want to stop, but she said, "Five more minutes—and stop holding back so much, your Majesty!"

"I'm holding back a lot less than your Ladyship thinks!" Peter shot back, but increased his intensity.

The blunt blades clashed faster and faster, and Saedra was thinking about nothing else but being aware of Peter's movements and where his blade was. She zoned everything out and just focused. But then suddenly, as she lunged to the side to dodge a blow, her foot caught in the inside of her dress. She lost her balance and fell down, catching herself just in time. The grass was soft enough that the landing wasn't unpleasant.

Peter rushed to her side. "Are you all right?"

Saedra threw her head back and laughed ridiculously. Peter looked at her as if he wasn't sure if she had lost her mind. He patiently waited as she gasped for breath, still laughing.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine!" she assured him, wiggling her joints to make sure all was well. "I'm no better than Prince Corin!"

"He wasn't wearing a dress," Peter pointed out.

Saedra chuckled again, and then started to sit up. Peter jumped to his feet and held out his arm to pull her up. She accepted it, and he easily hauled her to her feet. When she was standing, she looked up to thank him, but the words were caught in her throat.

He was so close to her, his body just inches from hers. He was looking down at her with an intense expression, brows slightly furrowed as if he was pondering deep thoughts and the answers could be found in her eyes.

She swallowed and stepped back, feeling overwhelmed. She looked down and pulled her hand out of his. He released it slowly, still watching her closely.

"We'd better get some food," she said haltingly, looking back up at him.

Was he incapable of movement? He was still watching her with _that look, _and she didn't know what he wanted her to do. She curtseyed and started to turn away, but Peter grabbed her elbow before she could move out of his reach.

She whipped her head around again, heart thumping wildly. His expression had softened a bit, and his blue eyes bored into her brown ones. He gradually, gently pulled her back to him so that they were face to face. His eyes flickered between her eyes and her lips, his head inclining lower.

Now _Saedra_ was incapable of movement. The only thought running though her mind was, _Is this really happening? _She moved on instinct, tilting her head a little higher and looking at Peter's lips as well.

There was an infinite second where there was air between them, and then—they kissed.


	7. The High King's Lady

**The High King's Lady**

* * *

The kiss was completely chaste, but it left Saedra—and Peter—breathless. When they pulled back, they looked at each other without speaking, waiting for the other to make the first move.

Saedra's lips slowly turned up into a shy smile, and the look was quickly mirrored by Peter. They both looked down and chuckled awkwardly, stepping back a tiny bit from each other. They looked back up at each other and the smiles slowly melted.

Saedra felt like she was in a daze, in a different world. She wasn't herself; she was this great Lady who had wooed the handsome King by her wits and beauty. She wasn't drenched in sweat; she was clothed in the finest fabrics in the world and smelled of perfumes.

Peter leaned down again, hesitated half-way, and then planted another kiss on her lips, this time harder and longer. His arms snuck around her waist, and she responded by inching close and gripping his upper arms.

When they needed to pull back for air, his lips hovered millimeters over hers. She could feel the warmth of his breath when he whispered, "I think five minutes has passed by now, my Lady."

She smirked, her nose brushing against his. "I think you're correct, your Majesty."

"Peter," he corrected.

Her eyes locked with his, and she repeated softly, "Peter."

* * *

When they finally gathered up the equipment and changed out of their sweaty clothing, Peter escorted Saedra down to lunch. Before they turned the corner into the dining hall, he stopped her.

"I have business to attend to, so I won't be eating with you all," he said, looking down at her and placing his palm on her hand. "But I'd like to see you again tonight, if that's okay…Saedra."

Saedra heart leapt at the sound of her naked name being uttered by his lips. "I would like that as well, your—I mean, _Peter_."

"How about I find you after dinner? There's something I'd like to show you."

She smiled, curious what it was. "Sounds wonderful."

He hesitantly kissed her forehead, then released her and walked away. Saedra watched his broad back for a moment, trying to make sure it all wasn't a dream. The High King of Narnia was interested in _her_! It was the last thing she had ever expected; it was wilder than her wildest dream.

She took in a deep breath and rounded the corner into the dining hall. The place was mostly empty, since lunch was a casual affair and people had it at different times. At the main table in front sat Rabadash, Susan, Edmund, and Rahai. Saedra went over and sat next to Edmund, smiling a greeting at all of them.

"You're awfully late!" Edmund commented. "Were you off sparring with Peter?"

"Yes, I was," she replied. Somehow, talking about it made it seem more real. "We lost track of time."

"Did you say _sparring_, O my Lady?" Rabadash asked, leaning over Susan.

"Yes, I did, Prince," Saedra replied, happy to no longer be trying to flirt with him. "Do you enjoy sparring?"

"Greatly," Rabadash replied. "I'm the best in my country."

"I can't wait to see your skills at the tournament tomorrow, my Prince!" Susan declared, putting her hand on his arm.

Rabadash flashed his handsome smile and locked eyes with the Queen. "And I cannot wait to show you them, my beautiful Queen."

Susan beamed at him and glanced at Saedra. Saedra smiled back pleasantly, hoping to send the message that she was happy for Susan.

"It may be hard to show off, O my esteemed Cousin, when you are competing against one of the Narnian Kings," Rahai purred with a hint of humor in her voice. Saedra was surprised to hear the Tarkheena speak without first being spoken to.

Edmund laughed. "Oh, I don't know about that!"

Rahai's ears were red and she looked pleased that Edmund was amused with her comment.

"O my Cousin," Rabadash replied smoothly, "do not underestimate the offspring of the Tisroc (may he live forever), for to do so is to invite ridicule."

Rahai didn't reply to that, just took a bite of bread demurely.

* * *

After lunch, Saedra went to her chambers to write Kung Lune. She explained in careful wording how Prince Rabadash had quickly become enamored with Susan and that the feeling was mutual. She also delicately pointed out that she was staying out of Susan's way so that tensions would not mount between Archenland and Narnia.

_…but I do have good news, oh King. It seems that High King Peter and I have struck a very close friendship, one which I feel is more promising than any we could make between myself and Prince Rabadash. With your blessing, I would like to further this relationship, for it would be advantageous to both sides…_

A knock resounded on the door, and Saedra set the quill in the ink. She hid the letter and went to the door. To her shock, it was Queen Susan.

"Your Majesty!" Saedra curtseyed. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I would like to have a word with you, if I may," Susan said. Rather than looking at Saedra with dislike as she usually did before, she had a bit of friendliness on her face.

Saedra held the door open for her, and Susan stepped in. She walked elegantly over to the couches in the sitting area and sat down, gesturing for Saedra to do the same. Saedra obeyed and sat expectantly.

"I don't know exactly where to begin, your Ladyship," said Susan with slight hesitation. "The reason I want to speak to you is because my siblings all have the highest regard for you, and so I want to clear up anything that may be unsaid between us." She stopped.

"Please, your Majesty, do continue," Saedra encouraged. "I think I know what you're saying, so please go on."

Susan sighed. "Since I know you're a forward woman, I'll be forward with you. I must ask, what are your intentions regarding Prince Rabadash?"

Saedra had been expecting that question and saw no reason not to be honest. "I have no intentions for him whatsoever. I won't lie and say that I wasn't interested in him at first, but as soon as it became clear that he had eyes for no one but you, I abandoned all thoughts of him." There was no need to bring Lune into the discussion; it would only complicate matters.

"Thank you for your directness, your Ladyship," Susan said.

"No, I thank your Majesty for asking. I don't want to think that there might be any reason for bad blood between us."

Susan inclined her head pleasantly. "I feel the same way, especially since my siblings adore you so much. I didn't want my personal jealousy or protectiveness of Prince Rabadash to come in the way of being friendly with you."

Saedra smiled. "I'm honored to hear this. I hope we might get to know each other a bit better before I go home, your Majesty."

"As do I, Lady Saedra."

* * *

"Where are we going, Peter?" Saedra exclaimed. Her eyes were covered by his hands, and he was leading her from behind up a long, winding set of stairs. She knew she wasn't in the library because the stairs were much steeper and narrower, and the smell was different. Her hands were held out in front of her to steady her just in case she tripped.

He laughed. "You'll see!"

"You're terribly bad at keeping it a secret, you know!" she admonished. "I know we're climbing some sort of tower."

"Very perceptive," he chuckled. "Maybe I just love hearing you complain and be all indignant."

"That wouldn't be funny!" she exclaimed even though she was laughing.

"Yes, it would! You're awfully cute like this, trying to be in control when you have no idea what's going on."

"I just don't know what I'm going to be able to see at the top of the castle at this hour! It's already dark out."

Saedra couldn't believe she was laughing around with the High King of Narnia like they were a couple of foolish children. It was so easy to forget that he was only twenty-four years old, a year older than she was; he was still a young man behind all of the responsibilities.

Just then, the stairs stopped. Peter inched her forward and said, "Keep your eyes closed!"

He took one of his hands off of her face for a moment, and she heard the creaking of a door. He put the hand back over her eye and said, "Go straight."

"Yes, sir!" she said, inching forward again.

After a little more of this, he took his hands from her eyes and rested them on her shoulders. "Open your eyes."

She did so, and instantly knew what he wanted to show her. The night was moonless, so the land below was very dark; she was almost unable to make it out. What did stand out were the stars: bright, huge, and seemingly very close.

"By the Mane…" she breathed, looking up. Her head just happened to rest in the crook of his neck.

The stars twinkled in their dance across the sky, much brighter in Narnia than in Archenland.

"This is where I go when I can't sleep," Peter murmured into her hair. "They remind me that Aslan is watching, even when it doesn't seem like it."

Saedra was positive she had never been so happy in her life.

* * *

Ever since Susan and Saedra's chat, Susan became as gracious to Saedra as she was famed for from then on. They were by no means instant friends the way Lucy and Saedra had been, but Susan went out of her way to invite Saedra to sit with her during events like the tournament or dinner, and was obliging overall.

The day after the tournament, all of the nobles went out for a horse ride to show the visitors more of inland Narnia. Saedra was riding next to Corin near the back of the procession when Peter fell back so that he was riding with them. He grinned at Saedra, then said to Corin, "Prince, Queen Susan has been asking for you."

"Oh?" Corin said eagerly. "What for?"

"Why don't you go find out?" Peter replied.

"I'll be back in a jiffy, my Lady!" Corin promised Saedra, them spurred his pony on faster.

"Let's hold back a bit," Peter said, slowing down his horse.

"What for?" Saedra asked.

"I have some people I want you to meet," he said, then jerked his head in the direction he wanted to go. "Come on."

She giggled, loving that Peter would rather spend time with her than with the others. "But what if they go looking for us?"

"They won't," he replied. "They'll know you're with me."

She followed him as he turned his horse off of the path, heading northwest on a side path.

"We'll have to gallop," he said, looking over at her as she brought her horse up next to his. "Are you able?"

She raised her eyebrows as if she was offended by the question.

Peter laughed. "Never mind!"

"Where're we headed?" she asked.

"We'll follow this path until we reach the Great River—" he started, but she cut him off by kicking her horse in the sides and galloping off. She bent forward on the horse with a wild grin on her face, then glanced back at Peter, who was trying hard to catch up with her. She leaned over to duck the branches and kicked the animal again.

"You really think you can beat the High King of Narnia in a race?" Peter called out behind her.

She ignored the taunt and urged the animal on harder. They rode and rode, until suddenly she burst out onto the gravel lining the river, Peter just behind her. She heeled her horse around triumphantly and said nonchalantly, "You were saying?"

"The road was too narrow for me to pass you!" he protested.

"The High King shouldn't need such a common thing as a road to win a race!" she teased.

"I should know better than to argue with you, Saedra!" He shook his head. "You have a tongue like a knife."

"Is that good or bad?" she asked, putting her hand on her hip.

"That depends," he said slyly.

She shook her head and asked, "Where to now?"

"You don't think I'd tell you after that?"

"Don't you want another chance to redeem yourself?"

His only reply was to kick his horse and start galloping up the side of the river.

"Cheater!" she hollered, following him.

They galloped slower than before along the side until they came to where the river became very wide and shallow. There they crossed carefully, then rode into the forest on the other side. After a good while of riding through trees, they came to another river (or maybe it was the same one) that lay low below them in a valley. There was a dam, and in the middle of the pond created by the dam was a little house poking out of the water.

"We're here," Peter said, getting off his horse. Saedra did the same curiously. He tied up their horses loosely to a tree, then came over to her and took her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. He led her down the slope to the river and called out, "Mrs. Beaver! Mr. Beaver!"

Nothing happened at first, but then a ripple appeared in the water, and then a little brown head peeked out. The head disappeared under the water again, and the ripple continued to come towards them like a snake in the water. A moment later, a beaver was climbing onto shore, shaking the water off.

"Your Majesty!" said the Beaver. She bowed down, looking up at them with her beady eyes. "To what do we owe the great honor? We didn't know you were coming!"

"Mrs. Beaver," Peter smiled fondly, "I would like you to meet my—my _friend_, Lady Saedra."

"A pleasure to meet you, dearie!" Mrs. Beaver said.

"The pleasure's mine!" Saedra replied.

"I didn't know you had a lady-friend, King Peter!" she exclaimed. "Mr. Beaver will be so pleased to hear it."

Peter looked at Saedra sideways with a pleased expression on his face. "Where's Mr. Beaver?"

"Oh, he's off visiting Badger again, but he'll be severely sorry he missed your Majesty! It's awfully far from Cair Paravel. What are you doing in the area?"

"We've been giving Prince Rabadash of Calormen and Prince Corin (who came with Saedra) a tour of the mainland. Saedra and I ditched them because I wanted you to meet her," Peter explained.

"And I'm very glad your Majesty did!" said Mrs. Beaver. "Oh, I wish Mr. Beaver was here to meet you. Sunset is in a couple of hours, and you'll be wanting to head back so you're not riding all night. You've probably been riding since dawn!"

"We have," Peter said. "Actually, I was thinking that—if it's okay with you, Saedra—that we might just stay with the Bears tonight."

"Bears?" Saedra blurted, not liking the sound of sleeping near bears.

"Oh, they're quite nice," Mrs. Beaver assured her. "And their den is the biggest house around. High King Peter and the others often stay there when they're in the area."

Then Saedra realized that, of course, the bears were actually Talking Bears. But still, Talking did not equal Safe. She kept quiet, though. If the Four stayed with them often, they _must_ be safe.

"Is that all right, Saedra?" Peter asked her concernedly. "I should have asked you before I brought you, but I was so used to doing that that—"

"It's fine!" she assured him. "Really!"

Peter had a Bird carry a message to his siblings telling them that they would be staying with the Bears that night so they wouldn't worry. Then Peter, Saedra, Mrs. Beaver, and their horses made their way over to Badger's to find Mr. Beaver.

When they arrived, Mr. Beaver was introduced to Saedra, and Badger made a great fuss about the High King being there, telling all of the Animals he knew. The word spread quickly, and soon there was a crowd of Animals of all kinds around Saedra and Peter chirping, purring, or barking things like, "Who is the High King's Lady?" or ""My, the High King's Lady has dark skin! Do you think she needs to stay inside more?" or "Do you think there will be a royal wedding soon?"

Saedra was amused and impressed with the way Peter remained calm among his excited subjects. He introduced her to them, and she tried to remember all of their names, though it was a hopeless task. As the sun started setting, the Animals called for a bonfire, and in the nearest clearing one was built and lit by the time the sun was gone.

The creatures placed rings of flowers around their necks and gave Saedra a crown of flowers to wear in her hair. Then they made chairs for Peter and Saedra (which were little more than piles of soft leaves) and brought them food and wine. Then after they had eaten, the Fauns started playing their flutes, and everyone started dancing around the large fire. The Naiads and Dryads and Dwarves and Centaurs danced in a circle, merry from the wine and celebrating that the High King had come to see them.

Saedra watched all of this in wonder, because she had never witnessed such a spectacle before. She leaned over towards Peter and asked, "Did you know they'd do this?"

Peter made a lopsided grin and said, "Of course!"

"Then I'm glad you didn't tell me beforehand, because I might have said no and missed it! They do this every time you come?"

"They're a little more excited because you're here, but yes, they do. It never gets old."

They smiled at each other, and Saedra turned to watch the Tree People dance some more. Suddenly remembering something Peter had said, she turned to him. "Still think I look like a Dryad?"

Peter grinned. "Aside from the fact that you lack leaves and are a bit shorter. You don't think so?"

She just laughed.

He stood up and held a hand out to her. "May I have this dance, my Lady?"

"You may, Sire," she replied, putting her hand in his and standing up. "Though I warn you, I don't know the steps. The dancing here is much different than in your court."

"Oh, it's not that different. It just seems different because we're outside and around a bonfire," Peter said, pulling her into the circle. "Just follow me."

He was right about it being similar, and soon she caught on. They danced and danced and danced, and then traded partners. She ended up dancing with countless Creatures until she was ready to faint from exhaustion.

When everyone was thoroughly tired, they all lay down and listened as Centaurs and Dwarves and Fauns told stories of old, about great Kings and noble Queens. Peter and Saedra were leaned up against a log, with his arm around her and her head resting on his shoulder. The stories were utterly captivating and inspiring, but as the night wore on, Saedra felt her eyes drooping more and more, until she was fast asleep.

She stirred only when Peter carried her over the Bear's Den, laid her on something soft, and then left her in the company of three curious Bears.


	8. Dashed Upon the Rocks

**Dashed Upon the Rocks**

* * *

"Should we wake her up, your Majesty? It's not usual for humans to go into hibernation."

"Oh, fear not, Mrs. Bear. She's not hibernating, she's just tired."

"But it's noon, Sire! None of your Majesties ever sleep this long. Perhaps we should fetch the doctor."

"Lady Saedra just isn't used to all of this excitement, so last night just tired her out more. If she isn't awake in an hour, you can wake her because we do need to get going back to Cair Paravel soon."

Saedra woke up to the sound of soft voices. She lifted her head and looked around, unsure where she was. She was lying on top of a soft, downy comforter on a low bed that was just barely long enough for her. There was another bed across from it. The walls of the room were bare rock and rounded as if she was in a cave, and a little daylight came in through a hole in the side of one of the walls.

_Why, I must be in the Bears' den! _she realized, flipping her feet over the side of the bed. She rubbed her face, and remembering the sound of Peter's voice in the next room, looked around for a mirror. There was none to be found, so she resorted to combing her hair with her fingers and hoping that she looked decent in the same dress she had worn to bed.

She pulled back the curtain that hung in the doorway of the room and saw that she had been in a chamber adjoining another chamber of the Bears' den. The chamber she entered was larger and housed a large rug in the center of the room, openings to two other chambers, a door which surely led outside, and various shelves and food items hanging on the walls. Peter sat cross-legged on the floor, looking very rugged and content, eating lunch out of a flat bowl. He sat in a circle with two very large brown Bears and three adorable cubs who were also eating.

"Good afternoon," Saedra said, coming in.

"Hello there!" Mr. Bear said, clambering up to greet her. He held out his paw, and she shook it. "High King Peter has been telling us all about you, Lady Saedra."

Saedra smiled and raised her eyebrows, glancing at Peter. "I hope you haven't heard too many terrible things about me!"

"Terrible!" Mrs. Bear exclaimed. "Why, King Peter's been doing nothing but singing your praises!"

Saedra laughed, and Peter looked a little red in the face.

"Would you like a little breakfast, Saedra?" Peter asked, scooting over to make room for her on in the circle on the floor. "We're going to have to start to head back to Cair Paravel soon if we want to get there at a decent hour."

"Thank you—I'm famished!"

After a sumptuous brunch of porridge and milk, Peter and Saedra climbed their horses and began the journey back. At times they would race to cover more distance faster, other times they would go at a fast trot. Saedra was impressed with how well-trained the horses were and what great stamina they had.

They reached Cair Paravel after sunset. They headed for the stables, and met Tumnus on the way.

"Your Majesty!" the Faun said happily. "Your family has been curious where you were!"

"Then kindly let them know we're back," Peter said, dismounting.

"With pleasure!" Tumnus said, hurrying off.

Saedra happily slid off her horse and followed Peter into the stable. They gave the horses to the attendants, then went back out under the darkening sky. They were both very tired, but contented.

"Thank you for everything, Peter," Saedra said, looking over at him as they walked towards the castle. "Today and yesterday were...amazing."

"It was my pleasure," he smiled down at her as they walked along a wall. "I hope you weren't alarmed about sleeping at the Bears' den. It's a little different than the arrangements here."

"Oh, I loved it! I've heard stories about how the Talking Animals live, and of course they are all over Cair Paravel, but it was amazing to _stay _in one of their houses."

"So you liked it?" he asked, looking over at her for confirmation.

"I loved it!" she exclaimed. "I almost wish I could live out there with them for the rest of my life! The cozy accommodations, the simple way they live, the bonfires at night, talking with the Trees and Centaurs, the magic swirling though the air..."

Peter cut her off by suddenly grabbing her arms and kissing her. She was stunned and a little unsure why he was suddenly so passionate, but she had no complaints whatsoever.

"Oy! What's this!" a voice exclaimed.

Peter and Saedra broke apart to see Corin standing there with wide eyes. He had rounded the corner of the palace as they kissed.

"Hello, Prince," Peter grinned, not at all embarrassed that Corin had caught them. He put his arm around Saedra almost triumphantly.

Saedra _was _a little embarrassed that Corin had seen her and said, "Did your Highness come out here by yourself?"

Her question was answered when Edmund rounded the corner and said, "There you are, Prince!" He looked up, and seeing Peter and Saedra, smiled.

"Guess what I just saw!" Corin said to Edmund triumphantly.

"Prince—" Saedra started, horrified that Corin might blurt out what he had seen.

But it was too late. "King Peter and Lady Saedra were _snogging_!"

"Corin! That's not something a gentleman talks about!" Saedra chastised her cheeks warm. Peter slowly slid his arm off of Saedra's shoulders as she said to Corin, "We'd better get your Highness back to bed. Come on." She rested her hand on his shoulder and started guiding him back to the castle.

She heard Edmund say to Peter, "I have some important information that just came in, Peter." He started muttering something in his older brother's ear.

Saedra turned around to ask, "You two coming?"

"We'll follow you in a bit," Peter said.

She smiled at him, and he smiled back. Perhaps it was the moonlight, but it seemed like the smile wasn't completely genuine.

* * *

The next day was Rabadash and Rahai's last day at Cair Paravel, and the castle was busy with stocking their boat and transporting all of the attendants' things down to the dock. Saedra opted to stay out of the way of the business and instead caught up on letter-writing. Her old nanny Gilda was starting to question whether she was capable of handling Saedra's job, so most of Saedra's letter was spent reminding Gilda why she'd picked her for the job. Lune, on the other hand, was thrilled by the idea that Saedra and Peter might be a better match, and most of his letter was him gushing about how wonderful that would be.

The only nobles Saedra saw all day were Corin and Lucy when she had brunch with them, so she was looking forward to the farewell party that night for Prince Rabadash and Tarkheena Rahai. It was starting at sundown, and it would be another romantic evening with Peter…waltzing the night away…

_He's going to ask to court me officially, _she thought, _tonight_.

After the previous days, how could he not? They had practically disappeared together for a whole day, and even though they had slept in different rooms, it would still be considered quite scandalous back in Archenland. There was no way he _couldn't_ ask to court her, at the very least.

That night as she prepared, she was simply humming with joy. She had never imagined or even dreamed that she might actually fall in love with someone so wonderful, thoughtful, and fun to be with, but she had, and now she was floating on clouds.

She wore a bright red dress, which was the most ornate and expensive garment that she owned. The fabric was smooth and light, and she felt like a queen in it. She had been saving it for an extremely important night, and the night where she and High King Peter announce their courtship was _pretty_ big.

Before going to the great hall, she examined herself in the mirror. She had never thought of herself as especially beautiful, but on this night even she could say that she was a very pretty woman. Peter's affections had lit a fire in her, giving her energy and a passion for life. Her eyes sparked and her cheeks glowed.

She went down to the great hall where everyone was milling around, waiting for the Four to be seated for the grand dinner that would start off the festivities. Saedra consulted Susan (who was on Rabadash's arm) and found out that her assigned seat was between Peter and Rahai and across from Corin at the main table.

Saedra was excusing herself, but Susan stopped her and said, "Lady Saedra, may I have a word with you for a moment?"

Saedra stopped. "Of course, your Majesty!"

"Do excuse me for a moment, my Prince," Susan said to Rabadash, unhooking her arm from his and stepping a few feet away.

"What is it, your Majesty?" Saedra asked.

"I have something I've been meaning to ask you since we went on the horse ride," said the Queen. She looked stunning, with jewels hanging from her ears and wearing a bright blue dress that brought out her eyes. "Prince Rabadash has invited me to visit him in Tashbaan this summer, and I was wondering…if you would like to come with me."

Saedra's eyes bulged. "Me, oh Queen?"

"Yes, you," she replied. "Edmund is going as well. Just yesterday we received word about Giant movements in the North, so my brother Peter is going up there to check it out, and Lucy is going to stay here at Cair Paravel. The reason I ask is that the idea of being the only woman going down there is rather daunting, because I know there'll be endless parties and such, and it would be so much more comforting to have another woman with me. Besides," she added with a smile, "we did want to get to know each other better."

Saedra was surprised to hear that the Queen who was always composed was nervous about going to parties. She was also flattered that Susan thought Saedra a suitable companion; the problem was that she didn't want to leave Cair Paravel now that things were working out so well with Peter. However, she didn't want to say "no" because the idea of seeing Calormen in person was simply tantalizing.

"Would it be okay if I think about it and get back to you?" Saedra asked. "I appreciate the offer extremely, but it affects Prince Corin as well, so it might be good if I think about it for a little while."

Susan smiled, a hint of disappointment on her face. "Oh, of course! We leave within the week, so let me know as soon as you decide."

"I will, your Majesty," Saedra curtsied. "And thank you for the offer."

Saedra went up to the main table and found that Peter and Rahai were holding an animated discussion. Not a drop of envy flowed through her veins as she approached them, because she knew how Peter felt for her.

As she walked over, Peter looked up and locked eyes with her. But instead of smiling and greeting her, he quickly looked away and continued talking with Rahai. Rahai had noticed his eye movement, and looked back at Saedra.

"Duchess!" she said in her warm accent. "How are you this evening?"

"I'm well! And yourself?"

"Fine, thank you. I must say, you look ravishing this evening," Rahai said, gesturing towards Saedra's dress. "Don't you think so, High King?"

Suddenly, Saedra liked the Tarkheena lot more. She looked up at Peter, expecting praise.

"Yes, she does," he nodded. "As do you, Tarkheena. I must say, that green color suits you very well."

Rahai blushed. "Thank you, your Majesty."

Saedra felt like she had been slapped in the face. Peter was supposed to be complimenting _her, _not the Tarkheena!

"I hear that you're expecting trouble from the Giants," Saedra said to Peter, trying to start a conversation.

"It's only a rumor, but we're going to check it out," Peter replied.

"How big are the Giants?" Rahai asked with round eyes. "I can't even imagine what a Giant looks like!"

Peter smiled at the Tarkheena warmly, and any good will Saedra had just built up for her drained away quickly. "Oh, they're quite large and ugly," he replied. "And not very clever. Still, they're hard to fight because of their size. They could simply step on us like we do on large insects."

"Do you ever try to confuse them, since they aren't clever?" Rahai asked, launching her and Peter into a discussion of how one might battle Giants. Saedra was completely left out, and even though she sat between them when dinner started, they simply talked over her. The whole thing was simply mortifying, and Saedra was racking her brain the whole time, trying to figure out what she had done to make Peter angry with her.

Saedra tried several times to join the conversation, but it was no use. Peter, for some reason, seemed to be going out of his way to be rude to her. Rahai wasn't as bad, but she wasn't helping anything. A lump built in Saedra's throat, but she sat up straight and kept her face pleasant.

_What did I do? _she kept thinking. She replayed everything in her mind, trying to come up with something...anything that would make Peter want to hurt her so.

_Was I right about him? Is love just a sport for him? He doesn't want me now that he knows I've fallen for him? _

The questions swirled in her mind as she ate with a happy expression on her face. The delicious food tasted like sand in her mouth, but she forced it down as if she were famished. There was nothing else to do but eat; she couldn't talk across the table to Lucy and Corin without interrupting Rahai and Peter's conversation.

_Wait a minute..._

"Prince Corin, I have a proposition for you," Saedra said loudly, leaning forward and blocking Rahai and Peter's view of each other. She kept an innocent look on her face so they wouldn't know the devious thoughts running though her head.

"What is it, my Lady?" Corin came back enthusiastically.

"Queen Susan has extended an invitation for us to go with her down to Tashbaan, and I'm considering it. What does your Highness think?"

She secretly wanted Peter to join the conversation and say, "No, stay here!" but all he did was lean back and try to continue his conversation with Rahai behind her head.

"You're going down to Tashbaan?" Rahai asked, overhearing what Saedra said.

"Yes—" Saedra started, but Peter cut her off with, "As I was saying, Tarkheena..." and turned Rahai's attention back to what they had been talking about.

Corin's face lit up. "Another adventure? Why, I jolly well _would_ like to go down there! I've heard such stories..."

_It's settled then_, thought Saedra. With Peter acting as he was, there was absolutely no way she wanted to stay in Narnia any longer. The quickest way to escape would be to leave with Susan, and besides, she had really wanted to go down—the only reason she hadn't said yes right away was because of Peter. And now he was being a complete ass!

Saedra engaged Corin in a conversation about Tashbaan, and though her throat was still constricted from the urge to weep, she did know that going to Tashbaan was probably the most exciting thing that could ever happen to her. After dinner ended and the pre-dancing milling about started, Saedra found Susan to tell her. She felt like she was in a daze, and all she could think about was Peter.

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Susan said earnestly, taking Saedra's hands. "We really will have the most amazing time!"

Saedra forced a smile and said, "Yes, I know we will—Oh: hello, Edmund!"

"Hello, Saedra, Susan," he smiled. "I was wondering if either of you'd like to have the first dance with me."

"Oh, Lady Saedra can. I've already promised Prince Rabadash the first dance," Susan said, looking around for her lover. "Speaking of which, I'd better find him. It's high time we started dancing." She trotted into the crowd.

"I'd better see if Lucy's dancing with anyone," Edmund shrugged, about to start walking off.

"Whatever for?" Saedra asked.

He stopped. "Surely you're dancing with my brother!"

The lump in Saedra's throat grew, but she hid it well. She laughed lightly. "Why, no! I'd like to dance with you, if you'll have me!"

Edmund grinned, and just then the intro music started. They walked onto the dance floor, which was being cleared out as the partiers moved to the edges of the room, and waited as the other pairs joined them. Susan was, of course, with Rabadash, Lucy was with Corin, and Peter was with...Rahai.

Saedra watched Peter as he glanced around the room, and suddenly their eyes met. Peter's expression didn't change as he looked at her, and neither did hers. She merely inclined her head to him courteously, as if there had been nothing going on between them before and as if she wasn't ready to explode with anger and jealousy. He nodded back, and they looked away from each other.

The couples started dancing, and Saedra looked up at Edmund. "I don't know if Queen Susan told you, but Prince Corin and I will be going with you to Tashbaan."

His face lit up. "It that so? I knew she was thinking of asking you, because she was worried that she'd be the only female on the ship. I actually recommended that she ask you to come, because I know how you've expressed interest in Calormen. Besides," he added, grinning sheepishly, "it'll benefit me more than her if you come. She'll be with Rabadash all day, so I'll probably be the lonely one!"

"Then I'm grateful to you both of you!" she laughed. The laugh felt a bit shaky because of the unshed tears within her.

"I'm curious, though," said Edmund, "how you feel about leaving Narnia, especially now."

She knew he was hinting about Peter, but she acted innocent of it. "I'm sad to leave Narnia, for it's truly an amazing place with wonderful people, but I think it's time we left."

"And if I may be so bold as to ask, how do you feel about leaving my brother Peter?"

"Peter?" she repeated, not expecting him to be so blunt. "Well, I'll miss him like I miss all of you, of course..."

Edmund raised his eyebrows. "And?"

"And I don't know what else you want me to say! As you can see, there is nothing special between me and the High King."

He studied her a moment, then said, "I don't believe you."

"Believe what you want," she laughed. "He's obviously more interested in the Tarkheena than me, though I wouldn't have thought so before tonight."

She'd slipped; not only did the words invite questioning, but the hurt manner in which she said them gave everything away.

"I'm going to talk to him," he said.

"No!" she exclaimed.

"This isn't like him to be like this. Even Lucy noticed that Peter seemed to be neglecting you."

"It doesn't matter," Saedra assured him. "Let's just leave things be. I'm leaving the country soon anyway, so it doesn't matter."

She thought Edmund had gotten the message, but later that night when she was at the wine bowl getting a drink, Peter came up to her. With how the High King had been acting earlier, she had no doubt that he hadn't come to her of his own accord.

"Lady Saedra, may I have this dance?" he asked, bowing politely. He looked stiff, and as if this chore was very hard for him to do.

"No, thank you, your Majesty," she said with a hint of smugness. "I'm quite comfortable talking with Queen Lucy and Tumnus over there, but thank you." She was getting him back for his horrific rudeness at dinner, and it eased some of the hurt.

"I insist, my Lady. We haven't spoken since yesterday."

"We have nothing to speak _about, _your Majesty," she snapped, more harshly than she'd intended.

"I disagree, my Lady. King Edmund informs me that you aren't too happy with me, so I'd like to clear the air."

"You brother knows not of what he speaks," she said, heading back to the table where she had been sitting with Lucy and Tumnus with her full goblet.

He followed her. "I disagree. Your Ladyship is obviously displeased with me."

"If I am displeased, it's only because you're making an issue of something that doesn't exist, High King." She spoke as she walked without turning her head to him.

"My Lady, it's obvious to me that we need to talk."

"We _are _talking!" she exclaimed, whipping around. They had stopped in front of Lucy and Tumnus, who stopped their conversation to hear what the other two were saying.

"No, we're arguing," he corrected.

"Argument is a form of talking," Saedra sighed, sick of being around him. Just the day before, they'd been kissing; now, they were fighting. And she had no idea what had changed.

"Come, Lady Saedra," he said. "I don't want there to be any reason for you to send bad word of Narnia back to Archenland."

Saedra couldn't believe it. "Is that all you care about? What I tell King Lune about you? That's the only reason you came over here?" she asked shrilly, the pain, if it was possible, was sharper.

Peter looked like he wanted to throw up. "Saedra, you have no idea why—"

"I don't care! You live your life, I'll live mine. And don't worry; Lune won't hear a thing about any of this!"

With that, she banged the goblet on the table, sloshing wine all over, and stormed away, leaving a stunned Lucy and Tumnus—and a green-faced Peter—in her wake.


	9. A Wife is an Asset, but Two Are Better

**A Wife is an Asset, but Two Are Better**

* * *

Saedra locked herself in her room for the next couple of days on the pretense of packing for the journey. She would come out for meals and put on a happy face (and thankfully Lucy and Tumnus had kept her argument with Peter to themselves), so nobody knew the turbid thoughts swimming through her head. She hadn't seen Peter since the party because he was busy getting ready for a possible clash with the Giants.

Saedra ached to be gone from Cair Paravel. Every inch of the building reminded her of Peter; it was as if she was being haunted. She couldn't wait to get away, so after her self-induced solitary confinement, she helped Susan, Edmund, and Terrill (the captain of the _Splendor Hyaline) _make last-minute plans. The plans fell into place over the next couple of days, and soon the castle was buzzing with excitement over the impending journey.

The people who were going to Tashbaan with them were Tumnus, Stamprin and Moonshackle the Dwarves, Sallowpad the Raven, and some courtiers and lords that Saedra didn't know personally. Lord Peridan (Peter's emissary to Calormen) would be there to greet them when they arrived, and they would stay at his house on the Tisroc's palace grounds.

Rabadash and Rahai and all of their people had left the day after the party in order to prepare Tashbaan for their arrival, and the castle was only slightly quieter without them.

Dinner the night before they were to sail on the _Splendor Hyaline_ was mellow, for they were worn out from all the preparations: Peter for a possible battle with the Giants, and Edmund, Susan, Saedra, and Corin for their journey. It was the first time Saedra had seen Peter since the dance.

"Whatever will I do when you all are gone?" Lucy sighed, toying with her food.

"Get some much needed sleep, I bet," Edmund grinned. "I intend to sleep as much as possible on the voyage down."

"Queen Susan and I were just talking about that on our way down to dinner," Saedra agreed. "At least it will make the trip seem faster."

She and Susan had warmed up to each other greatly as they planned what clothes they should bring and speculated about what the parties were like down south.

"What am I going to do while everyone is sleeping?" Corin complained, matching Lucy's tone.

"Bother the sailors, I expect," Edmund guessed.

"Aww," Corin moaned. "All they'll do is tell me to go below as if I'm a baby."

"Remember High King Peter said that you may be a Knight of Cair Paravel one day. He even wrote to your father to tell him about it," Susan reminded. "It would be in your best interest to start acting like one."

At that, Corin started sitting up a little straighter and looked over at Peter (who was sitting farther down the table) to see if he noticed his good behavior. Peter didn't notice, though, because he was sipping on his cup and looking moody.

"I say," Lucy said, catching his attention. "What's got your tunic in a knot, Peter?"

"I think he misses the Tarkheena," Saedra said in a light voice, trying to appear unconcerned—though it hurt her to say it. It was still a mystery to her why things had turned sour between them.

"And if I do?" Peter said dully, looking directly at Saedra.

"Then it's a pity you can't go down to Tashbaan to see her," Saedra replied sweetly.

Peter studied her for a minute more, and then looked away at something else in the distance.

* * *

The next day, the _Splendor Hyaline _left Cair Paravel. Many Narnians gathered to see the ship off, so it was more like a parade than anything else as they walked down to the ship. The dock seemed more empty this time because Saedra had sent her ship, _The Forben, _back down to Archenland since she didn't know how long she would be in Calormen and didn't think it fair to keep the sailors away from their families so long.

Peter and Lucy went down to see them off. Lucy gave warm hugs to each of them, and gave Tumnus a bonus kiss on the cheek. Peter hugged his siblings, but when Saedra moved over to him (hoping he might hug her and say something—anything—that might give her hope that he still cared for her), he looked at her eyes for a split second with an unhappy expression, then down at her nose and bowed abruptly, saying, "Thank you for your visit, Duchess. It was most pleasant." Then he deliberately walked away from her.

Once the ship left the dock and was on its way, Saedra and Susan went into the cabin that they shared in the back of the ship.

"This is terribly exciting," Susan said, itching to see her lover in Tashbaan. "I haven't been any farther south than Anvard before!" She sat on her bed across the room from Saedra. "What about you?"

"Harden Castle where I grew up is right on the mouth of the Winding Arrow River. It's a little more south than Anvard, but I've never even crossed the river once even though I've lived on it my whole life."

"I think I'm going to take a nap," Susan said, stretching out on her bed. "I'm too tired to even take off my dress."

"Not that it matters here, your Majesty," Saedra said as she lay down as well. "I don't think Edmund will care much if your dress is wrinkly."

Susan laughed lightly, saying, "Do call me 'Susan,' please…" and Saedra could tell that she was already drowsy. But while Susan went to sleep in no time, Saedra didn't. Even though she was extremely tired from getting up early and the past week's exertions, she just couldn't get to sleep. All she could think about was what had happened in the last month in Narnia, especially with Peter.

_Things were going so well, _she thought. _Then all of a sudden he acts weird after the night at the Bear's den. What happened?_

Something happened to change Peter's mind about her, she was sure of it. She racked her brain, replaying all the moments with him in her mind.

_Maybe he thought I wasn't interested when I acted normally when we were around his siblings after the first kiss. Should I have told someone so that he'd know I was excited about it? _

Then she had another thought. _Maybe Rahai poisoned him against me! Or maybe it was just that I was not good enough for him. I _am_ rather outspoken, more than I should be at my position…perhaps he was looking for a demure woman like her, and he realized that he had put his affection in the wrong place. But then why did he kiss me _after_ she arrived?_

The thoughts kept circling in her head until finally, she drifted off to sleep and into strange dreams that all revolved around Peter, the White Witch, and stars.

* * *

The trip down to Tashbaan was restful for all the passengers aboard the _Splendor Hyaline_. When Saedra wasn't sleeping, she could be found walking around the boat deck with Susan, Edmund, Corin, or Tumnus. She was still nursing the wound that Peter had left in her pride, but as the waters got warmer and clearer, her excitement grew along with everyone else's. Corin and Susan were bursting with excitement while Edmund and Saedra were only slightly more subdued. The only person who wasn't thrilled about the trip was Sallowpad the Raven, who commented when he saw the great island of Tashbaan looming ahead of them, "Dear me, look at those high walls. Easily in, but not easily out."

"You sound so thrilled to be here, good Raven," Saedra chuckled at his observation.

All of the passengers and some of the sailors had gathered in the front of the ship and were staring at the immense city on the hill.

"I'm here to serve His Majesty and the Queen," Sallowpad replied in his husky voice. "If my presence can aid them in any way, then that is enough."

"Very noble of you," Saedra nodded without sarcasm. She was surprised to see how _green _everything was on the banks of the river; she'd always had the impression that Calormen was a desert land.

"Look at the size of that gate!" Corin exclaimed, hopping up and down and pointing. "And look at all the people! I've never seen so many people in all my life!"

"Neither have I!" Saedra said. "This must be the biggest city in the whole world."

"As far as we know, it is," Edmund said.

"I've a faint recollection of being in a place with this many people and more," Susan said slowly. "But I can't put my finger on the place, and it's going to irk me."

"I have the same thought!" said Edmund. "In the back of my mind…maybe in another time or place…or something like it."

"That's very odd," Saedra commented, not having the same thoughts that Susan and Edmund were. Tumnus' face was turning a little pink, so she asked, "Are you all right, Tumnus?"

"Yes, yes. I'm just trying to remember…" He paused. "Spare Oom. That's it! When I first met Lucy, she said that she came from a place called Spare Oom. Do you think that had many people in it?"

"Could have…" Susan said, but then was distracted by the ship docking at the wooden pier. There were people of all sorts gathered to see the arrival of the strange ship. Word had spread that the Northerners were coming, and the Calormenes were curious what the pale people looked like. There were fishermen carrying nets, women carrying baskets and babies, slaves with heavy loads, and donkeys with heavy burdens on their backs.

Once the ship was tied up at the dock and the plank lowered, the passengers started down it cautiously. There were murmurs in the crowd when Tumnus, Stamprin, and Moonshackle followed them; most Calormenes had never seen a Faun or a Dwarf before, and they hadn't believed they even existed until that very moment. Some of the people looked like they still couldn't believe their eyes.

"Is there no one to greet us?" Susan said with a hint of disappointment.

"Lord Peridan was to meet us here. Surely Rabadash told him of our coming," said Edmund.

"Who cares?" Corin shrugged. "Let's explore!"

He was about to walk off, but Edmund stopped him by grabbing the back of his collar. "Hold on there, your Highness. It's not wise to wander about in a place that you don't know."

"But that's what you and King Peter do all the time!" Corin whined.

"Prince, don't talk to the King that way," Saedra chastised. "He's right, and as your guardian, I'd be very upset if I lost you. Your father would have my head if anything happened to you!"

Corin wasn't listening anymore, and Saedra gave up. He was staring ahead of them at the end of the dock where the crowd was parting to make way for a procession. In the lead were four men, obviously slaves, which were carrying a litter with open curtains. Behind that were several other litters with their curtains closed, each carried by four more men.

A well-dressed slave walked in front of the procession, calling out, "Make way for the Grand Vizier! Make way for the Grand Vizier!"

The first four men stopped in front of them and lowered the platform so that the man who had been sitting inside it could stumble out of it. Three words can be used to sum up the ridiculously opulently dressed man: hunchbacked, small, and ugly. His wrinkled face showed no emotion as he spoke in a dull voice.

"It is a great honourb that you have come to our great land from afar, O Barbarians. As the poets say, _The man who turns away his guest shall be under the wrath of Tash the Inexorable, _and also _Blessed is the man who finds comfort in a distant land, for he has found a friend._"

Corin snorted loudly. Saedra didn't dare reprimand him because she was trying her best to make the smile on her face pleasant without smirking in amusement at the silly proverbs. Edmund said nothing either, for he was in the same predicament as Saedra.

"Thank you," Susan said graciously and curtsied. "I am Queen Susan, and this is my brother King Edmund. With us is Duchess Saedra Harden of Archenland, and in her charge is Prince Corin of Archenland. This is Tum—" she was about to introduce Tumnus, the Dwarves, and the Raven, but the man interrupted.

"I am the Grand Vizier Ahoshta Tarkaan, and by the power of the Tisroc (may he live forever) I will bring you, O Barbarian Queen, to his home as a guest. For _The man who shares with those in need is worthy of many wives."_

At that, Saedra had to turn around on the pretense of coughing because she could no longer hold in the laughter. Corin was guffawing loudly, and this time Ahoshta did look at him, staring blankly.

"I apologize for the Prince," Susan said, reaching for a plausible explanation. "He's not himself today. Perhaps it's the new climate."

"I didn't know that you could have more than one wife here," Saedra said, referring to the verse once her coughing fit was over.

"It is not common practice, for only the Tisroc (may be live forever) has more than one, for he is most deserving. As it goes, _The jewel—" _Ahoshta was about to go into verse again, but Saedra was too curious.

"How many wives does the Tisroc have?"

"I believe he has twenty-three, and much does he deserve it. _The wife is an asset, but two are better for those who can forebear."_

Saedra bit her lip hard to stifle her amusement, but funny little sounds still escaped from her nose. She glanced over at Edmund, who in spite of himself was ready to erupt with laughter as well.

Susan kept her head and asked, "Shall we go up to the palace now? Will you show us the way, Grand Vizier?"

"I need not do that!" Ahoshta said, almost offended. "We have provided you with an escort that will carry you up to the palace. _The man who does not provide means is not a good host and does not deserve to eat even foreign food."_

The quotes were _beyond_ ridiculous at this point, so the Northerners weren't in any mood to delay. They allowed themselves to be escorted into the litters. Susan and Saedra were put into one, Edmund and Corin into another, and there was an awkward moment when it seemed that Tumnus and the Dwarves wouldn't be accommodated, but they were put into the final one. Sallowpad must have known that he would have spooked the Calormenes by talking, so he just pretended to be a dumb bird and followed them by air.

Susan and Saedra were hardly settled in their cushions before they were lifted off of the ground by the slaves and taken up the road that led to the main gates. The curtains were open still, so they attracted countless stares as they passed the crowds. The two women exchanged glances and giggled excitedly.

"This is so mad!" Saedra said. "I feel like a Tarkheena or something!"

"By Aslan, I was afraid I would burst while the Vizier was talking!" Susan admitted. "And it didn't help at all that you were laughing the whole time!"

"I couldn't help it!" Saedra giggled, and then made a somber face. "'One wife is an asset but two are better.' I've never heard anything so preposterous in my life. If I wasn't so amused by it, I would be quite offended!"

"Twenty-three wives!" Susan mouthed in awe. "I wonder how many children the Tisroc has!"

"More than fifty, no doubt," Saedra snickered. "You can marry Rabadash, and I will marry one of his twenty-five brothers."

"Then we shall be related!" Susan chortled. "Oh, this will be so much fun!"


	10. The Court of the Tisroc

**The Court of the Tisroc**

* * *

The ride up to the palace was an adventure in itself. Susan and Saedra had a fun time, talking and joking the whole way while looking out of the litter at the city of Tashbaan and its people.

The city was very crushed, as it had to fit on a relatively small island for the number of people it had. The streets were always packed with citizens who parted ways after hearing the "Make way for the Grand Vizier and the visitors from the North!" The people stared at the visitors in awe, but occasionally someone would point at Saedra herself and talk animatedly to their neighbor. Saedra tried to hear what they were saying, but all she could make out was something about a Tarkheena.

"Saedra, this is odd," Susan said when she noticed the staring. "Why are they so fascinated with you?"

Saedra knew that it was not out of jealousy that she spoke, just curiosity. Saedra was never one that people would make a big fuss about. She was a very pretty woman, but Susan was more so.

"I have no idea," Saedra said.

The sights of the city soon distracted them, and they thought no more of it.

When they entered the palace gates, the sounds from the street instantly went away. Their litter went up a walkway that was lined with beautiful trees and flowers, and Saedra marveled at it, saying, "Just think, Susan. One day you will be living here."

Susan didn't reply, for she was looking around with an awed expression at the palace ahead of them. It was huge and sprawled out every which way and looked to be made from marble. It sparkled in the sunshine. Soon they stopped in front of the main entrance, which was a large, wide set of stairs covered with ornate tiles. On the top of the stairs stood Rabadash himself, accompanied by a host of slaves and some nobles.

As Susan and Saedra dismounted from their litter, Rabadash went down the stairs to meet them. He was wearing even finer clothes than he had back at Cair Paravel, with a curved scimitar swinging from his side and a glistening turban on his head. Corin, Edmund, Tumnus, and the Dwarves came over and joined the group, led by Ahoshta Tarkaan.

When Rabadash reached Susan, he took her hand and kissed it sensually. "I am glad you have come, O my luscious Queen. I have been longing for you ever since we parted."

Susan blushed deeply. "I feel the same way, Prince."

"Welcome, Duchess," Rabadash nodded towards Saedra, then to Edmund and Corin. "King Edmund, little Prince." Then he suddenly barked, making them all jump, "Ahoshta! Announce us to my father."

Ahoshta bowed several times, then scampered up the stairs and hollered, "Make way for Prince Rabadash and the visitors from the North!"

They followed him through lavish, tall corridors until they entered a huge, round chamber. There were guards at the door who bowed to the Prince, and the inside of the chamber was packed with people sitting or standing along the walls. It looked like every single person of noble blood in Tashbaan had gathered to see the barbarians' arrival. There were murmurs while the Northerners walked down the room as the people commented on the clothes, the manner of walking, and the strange creatures that had accompanied them.

Straight ahead from the door at the other end of the room was a platform with a large throne, and sitting on it was a man covered in jewels and the finest kinds of clothes in the world. He was wearing a funny pointed hat, and he was so fat that rolls of it were hanging over the armrests of the chair. All around him, sitting on the stairs to the platform, were scantily-clad girls who were no older than thirteen years old, wearing scandalous amounts of jeweler.

Saedra blushed when she saw them, and glanced over at Edmund to see his reaction to all the girls. He was purposely looking straight ahead at the man on the throne, who as you might have guessed was the Tisroc himself. Corin, however, was staring with fascination at the girls. Most of them were near his age, and he had never seen anyone dressed that way in his life.

When Ahoshta was half-way to the Tisroc, he threw himself on the ground onto his knees and crawled the rest of the way, still calling, "His Highness Prince Rabadash and the visitors from the North have come to seek an audience with the Tisroc, May He Live Forever!"

Because Ahoshta was crawling, the group of people following him had to slow down, and Rabadash grew impatient. He walked up behind Ahoshta and kicked him firmly in the behind.

"Do speed up, you fool! We don't have all day."

Stunned, Saedra looked over at Susan. The Queen was staring with wide eyes, unable to believe what she had just witnessed: the Grand Vizier, the right hand of the Tisroc, was being kicked like a normal slave. Not only that, but it was the charming and considerate Rabadash that was doing the kicking!

Ahoshta hurried up his crawling, but whenever Rabadash thought he was going too slowly, he would jab him with his foot again. Finally, they were in front of the Tisroc's throne.

The Tisroc had been watching them come without speaking the whole time. When they stopped, he said in a deep, quiet voice, "Welcome, Foreigners. We are honored by your presence."

"Father, this is Queen Susan of Narnia," Rabadash said, "and this is her brother, King Edmund. These others are a part of their party."

The Tisroc gazed over each other them dully, but when he laid eyes on Saedra, he stopped. "Who are you, Noble Woman?"

Saedra wasn't sure if he was talking to her or not, so she glanced behind her to see if the Tisroc was talking to someone else. There was no one there, so she answered, "I am Duchess Saedra of Archenland."

"Who was your father?" the Tisroc asked.

"My father was Duke Dane Harden of Archenland."

It was obvious that her answer didn't satisfy his curiosity, because his gaze lingered on her for a moment more, but he stopped talking to her and addressed the group as a whole. "There will be a party thrown here at the palace in honor of your arrival. In the meantime, my new Grand Vizier will take you to your chambers so you may rest before the festivities."

"I beg your pardon, your Majesty," Edmund said quickly, "but I was wondering what has become of Lord Peridan, emissary from High King Peter. Why did he not greet us?"

The Tisroc obviously didn't know the answer, and looked pointedly at Rabadash. "My son?"

Rabadash shrugged. "I didn't think it necessary that he should know. Ahoshta was good enough to greet you."

Saedra didn't know what to make of that reply.

"He'll know when we bring you to your chambers, because you will be staying in his part of the palace," Rabadash continued.

After they left the throne room, they had to wait for Ahoshta to catch up, for he was crawling out the same way he had gone in, but this time backwards to that he stayed facing the Tisroc the whole time. Rabadash had stayed behind in the court.

While they waited, Susan whispered, "I didn't know that Lord Peridan actually lived in the Tisroc's palace."

"Tisroc wanted to keep an eye on him, no doubt," Stamprin growled suspiciously. "I don't like this place, your Majesties. Something smells here."

"Oh, it isn't that bad," Susan said generously. "We're just not used to it, is all. After a few days we'll feel quite comfortable."

As Ahoshta led the Narnians through the Tisroc's extensive palace grounds, Saedra muttered to Edmund, who was walking beside her, "That was interesting."

"In what way?" he whispered back as they turned a corner.

"You and Peter personally went down to greet the Calormenes as they left their ship. Here we didn't even see the Tisroc or Rabadash until we went up to the palace, and even then the visit was very short and impersonal."

"That's a good point," he replied. "But I suspect that it's just their custom to do it this way. And the dock at Cair Paravel is much closer to the palace than the dock here is to their palace."

"That's true, but still. I'm not impressed with their hospitality. Not even telling Lord Peridan that we were coming…"

"Now that is what I don't like, because Rabadash did promise that he would alert Peridan to our arrival," Edmund admitted.

Just then, Ahoshta stopped in front of a large wooden door and knocked. A minute later, an obviously Narnian man in his early thirties opened the door. Perched on his tan nose were spectacles, indicating that he had been in the middle of work. When he looked over his guests, he hastily took the glasses off and opened the door wider. Without the glasses he looked much younger and more handsome.

"Your Majesties!" he said in utter shock. "King Edmund, Queen Susan—I'd no idea that you were coming!"

"So we guessed, Lord Peridan," Edmund said, stepping into the room. He turned back to Ahoshta who was standing in the hall. "Thank you, Grand Vizier. I think Lord Peridan can assist us from here."

Ahoshta bowed and said, "Slaves will be sent to help you prepare for the party tonight."

"That won't be—" Susan started, but Ahoshta was already walking away.

"Come in, come in and be seated," Peridan said. "Tell me what's been happening and why your Majesties are here."

They entered a spacious room that was on one of the corners of the castle on the second floor; the only view from the windows was the branches of trees. These chambers, though not nearly as opulent as the other parts of the castle, were still inviting, full of lush couches and soft carpets. They seated themselves on the couches, and Peridan closed the door and sat with them.

"May I look around?" Corin asked excitedly, a second after he sat down.

Saedra looked at Peridan, and he nodded, so she said, "Just don't get lost."

Corin jumped off the couch and ran off to explore their quarters.

"Now tell me all, your Majesties," Peridan said. "And please introduce to me the people I do not know. I know Tumnus, Moonshackle, and Stamprin," here he nodded at each in turn, and they nodded back, "But who are your other two companions?"

"This is my friend, Duchess Saedra of Archenland," Susan said. "I believe you may have met her back before you came down here as an emissary, but it has been a long time. And with her is Prince Corin of Archenland, another good friend. They have come to see Tashbaan with us."

"What brings you down here in the first place?" Peridan asked after nodding politely at Saedra. "Surely it isn't a pleasure trip."

"No," Edmund replied. "Rabadash came up to Cair Paravel a couple of weeks ago, and he and Susan are lovers now."

"Oh?" Peridan said, raising his eyebrows.

"Why do you look so surprised, Good Sir?" Susan asked.

"I didn't think that your Majesty would find him attractive, that is all," he shrugged.

"Is there something we should know about him?" she questioned. "He seemed very noble and kind when he visited Narnia."

Peridan studied her as if weighing something. "All I advise, oh Queen, is that you don't rush into anything. Get to know him in his own land before you agree to any engagement."

"Lord Peridan, I was not intending to do anything of the sort! That is the whole reason that I have come down here, so that I might know his character more."

"Then we have no disagreement," Peridan said. "But I'm wondering why Prince Rabadash didn't warn me of your arrival."

"Perhaps he simply forgot," Saedra volunteered.

Susan did not like that idea. "Forgot that we were coming! I think not!"

"No, no, that's not what I am saying. Only forgot the detail of talking to Lord Peridan in his rush to get the palace ready for your arrival," Saedra explained.

"I'm not very close to the Prince," Peridan agreed. "It could have easily slipped his mind that I was here. If I have contact with the Calormenes, it is mainly through Ahoshta Tarkaan."

"You make it sound as if you're a prisoner," Edmund exclaimed. "Tell me that it is not so."

"No, I may come and go freely," Peridan assured him. "I just have little purpose here other than to remind the Tisroc by my presence that Narnia actually exists."

"In my opinion," Stamprin said, "the Prince plain didn't think sending a message to Lord Peridan was worth his time."

"That sounds so pompous!" Susan cried. "I cannot believe it is so."

There was an uncomfortable silence while Peridan and some of the others who may have agreed with Stamprin's guess didn't dare say anything that might upset Susan further.

"Well, we shall soon see, won't we?" Saedra said, reaching out and putting a hand on Susan's arm. "The simple thing to do is just to ask him, and you can do that tonight, Susan."

Susan nodded, liking the idea. "I'll do just that."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"That must be the slaves that Ahoshta was talking about," Peridan said. "I'll let them in."

"We don't need help getting dressed!" Susan protested.

"I advise letting them help, your Majesty," Peridan said, getting up. "They'll be offended if we turn them away."

"This could be fun," Saedra said to her friend. "I have never been tended to by slaves before. It could be…interesting!"

* * *

Hours later, Saedra and Susan were still in their shared bedroom when someone knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Susan called. She and Saedra were still being tended to by the slaves sent by Rabadash to get ready for the party.

At first the women had been uncomfortable having the two slaves around (both of them were young girls), but once they found out about all of the fancy hairstyles that they could do, the women sent them to work on their hair. The only problem with having an intricate hairstyle is that it takes a long time to do. While they worked, the sounds of music were floating in through the windows, indicating that the party had already started.

The door to the bedroom opened a foot, and Edmund's head popped in.

"Are you still not ready? Corin is ready to wet his pants with excitement!"

"You men can go down ahead of us and we'll meet you down there," Saedra said. "We still have a ways to go."

"We'll do that," Edmund said. "I'll see you both down there." He shut the door behind him.

"Oh, do hurry up," Susan urged the slave in her excitement.

"I'm almost done, Ma'am," the slave said quietly. She was styling the top half of her hair into small braids that would be molded into a bun, leaving the bottom half of her hair to hang down her back.

Saedra's slave was braiding her hair into a crown that went around her head. Since her hair was shorter than Susan's, she was done first.

"Thank you," Saedra said to the slave, reaching into her purse to tip her. "What's your name?"

The slave stared at her in shock, both because Saedra asked what her name was and because she was holding out money for her to take. "No, no!"

"Take it," Saedra said. "You deserve it. My hair looks fantastic!"

"Thank you," she said meekly, pocketing the change. "I'm—Talia."

"That is a very pretty name, Talia! How old are you?"

"Eleven, Ma'am."

"By the Lion!" Saedra exclaimed, pausing in her application of lip balm. "How did you come to be a slave here?"

"My mother sold me," she said, growing a little more comfortable talking to Saedra. "I've four other siblings and my father could barely make enough to feed us, so I was sold when I was but five."

"How'd you end up in the palace?" Saedra asked.

"I moved from master to master, and one day the Matron in charge of the brothel saw me in the market. She found out who my master was, and eventually bought me from him for a lot of crescents."

"Brothel!" Susan gasped. "You mean…you're going to be a—a…"

"A courtesan, yes," Talia nodded. "When I am more womanly, I'll be trained and then work for the Tisroc (may he live forever) or one of the princes."

"You shouldn't be talking to them like this, Talia!" the other slave hissed, finishing with Susan's hair.

"Yes, she should!" Saedra said, completely disgusted by the idea that this girl would become like the young teenagers that she had seen sitting around the Tisroc's throne. "There's nothing wrong in talking to us. We're all human beings, just separated by chance. I could've easily been born into the same station as you both, and you could have easily been born to the Tisroc himself. What is your name, girl?"

"Zahar," the other slave replied, obviously displeased. She had the appearance of someone who was resigned to her fate, maybe hoping that she would seduce the Prince and become his umpteenth wife one day, or be his concubine and bear him a son.

Susan was still thinking about what Talia had said about working as a prostitute for one of the princes. "Does…does Rabadash use courtesans?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Talia replied. "He's famous for never using the same one twice."

Susan looked ill.

"It's every courtesan's dream to be the one that he uses for a second time," Zahar said proudly, as if she knew that she would be that person.

Now Saedra felt ill as well. "Well, I hope you attain whatever makes you happy."

"I will," Zahar said. "I have been working on my skills already—"

Susan had heard too much, and said abruptly, "Thank you, that will be all."

The girls curtsied and backed out of the room. Once they knew they couldn't be overheard, Susan let go of her breath.

"Do you think they were telling the truth?"

Saedra did, but wanted to be tactful since Susan was so infatuated with Rabadash. "It is likely. Or they could have wanted to get a reaction out of you and spoil your night."

"Talia didn't seem that cold-hearted," Susan observed. "Though I could easily see Zahar wanting to upset me. Well, she succeeded!"

"Maybe Rabadash has changed since he met you."

"Saedra, I don't want a man who would treat so many women so callously, no matter _when_ he did it!"

"I know, and I'm the same way." Saedra took one final look in the mirror and stood up. "It is up to us to discern the truth, then. Let us go down and see what a Tashbaanian party is like and what we may learn from it."


	11. Assumptions and Slip Ups

**Assumptions and Slip-Ups**

* * *

When Saedra and Susan entered the party hall after wandering around for some time trying to find it, it was already dark outside. The attendant at the door asked them their names, which they provided. As they were stepping down the steps into the atrium, they were startled by the attendant yelling in the loudest voice possible, "Please welcome Susan, Queen of Narnia! Please welcome Saedra, Duchess of Archenland!"

Susan slipped her arm through Saedra's, whispering, "See, I knew I would be glad that you came. Look at all the people!"

Indeed, the room was flooded with people of all sizes and shapes wearing brightly-colored clothing. There were so many jewels all around that it was hard to see from all of the flashing. The center of the room was reserved for dancing, while one side of the room turned into a patio where there were tables with food piled high. On the wall to their left was a platform similar to the one that the Tisroc had been sitting on in the court, and he was eating plate after plate of food. Saedra could not get the vision of him using young women for his pleasure out of her head as she stared at him and his overflowing fat.

"There's Rabadash!" Susan gasped, but this time it was more like a panicked gasp. "What do I do?"

"Act naturally," Saedra advised. "You'll know the truth by what he says."

"Good evening, O my Queen," Rabadash said smoothly when he had come over. "I was afraid you'd gotten lost. King Edmund and his _creatures_ have been down here more than half an hour." He gestured to where Edmund, Corin, and the other Narnians were gathered in their own little group. "I must say, they aren't very sociable."

_Perhaps it's because everyone keeps staring at them as if they're diseased, _Saedra thought hotly, feeling bad for Tumnus and the Dwarves.

"Dear Queen, would you like to dance?" Rabadash asked.

"I would love to," she replied. "Do you mind, Saedra?"

"Not at all!" her friend said, shaking her head and stepping back. "Go right ahead."

"Perhaps that Tarkheena over there may keep you company," Rabadash said casually, pointing to their right to a woman who was eying the Prince. She was shorter than Susan or Saedra and a few years younger.

"Tarkheena!" he called.

She ran over to them expectantly. "Yes, your Highness?"

"Keep Saedra here company while I dance with the Queen," Rabadash said, grasping Susan and steering her away.

There was a moment of silence as Saedra and the Tarkheena watched Susan and Rabadash make their way onto the dance floor, Saedra curiously and the Tarkheena sullenly.

"Well, we might as well do like the Prince said," the Tarkheena said, looking Saedra over. "I'm Lasaraleen. Who might you be?"

"Saedra," she replied. "A pleasure to meet you."

"Come, let's get some food. Then we can watch the dancers and gossip."

They walked around the room, and when Saedra passed Edmund, she smiled at him. He looked so miserable that she would have stopped if Lasaraleen didn't have such a firm grip on her arm.

"Let's sit." Lasaraleen plopped herself down at one of the tables, adjusting her clothing so that it flattered her best.

"That's a beautiful dress," Saedra said, trying to be polite and having nothing else to say. In reality, she didn't find it appealing. It was orange and green, bared her stomach, and had an excess of sparkles on it.

_Calormenes sure like their sparkles_, she thought.

Lasaraleen brightened and said, "Why, thank you! You're the first one to comment on my new dress tonight. I was beginning to fear that I made the wrong choice. But of course I wouldn't make the wrong choice. I _do_ have the best taste in clothing. And it appears you have the same taste as me. I know! We must go shopping sometime. There are simply _glorious_ stores in town, and while you are here, you must get some new clothes. What are you doing tomorrow?"

Saedra was a surprised at her sudden eruption of talking, and even more that she stopped to hear Saedra's reply. "Why yes, that sounds lovely. Um, as far as I know I don't have any plans tomorrow."

"Excellent!" Lasaraleen exclaimed, adjusting herself in her seat so that her back was straighter. "I'll come by around noon and we'll go shopping and take a tour about town. Oh, you haven't seen Tashbaan, have you? I get to be the first one to show you around!" She giggled delightedly.

"Do you live in town?" Saedra asked politely.

"Yes, I do, and it is the most marvelous thing! My husband just left town today, and I'm going to throw a party at my house sometime while he is away. It will be sumptuous, and you must come to it! We will have the best band, of course, and the most sumptuous decorations…" She continued to drone on about how _sumptuous_ her parties were, and Saedra only half listened.

"Sounds delightful," Saedra said when Lasaraleen paused for breath, though she wasn't sure if she thought that it was really delightful or not.

"You must help me with the preparations. Oh, this'll be so exciting! Sometimes I get so lonely around here, and it'll be nice to have a new friend."

Saedra suddenly felt bad for Lasaraleen, being young and married—probably to an old, fat man—and apparently not having many friends. "That sounds excellent."

"Where do you live? In the southern territories? You have the look of a southerner."

"Me? From the South? No, no, no. I'm from Archenland."

Lasaraleen giggled as if Saedra was being sarcastic.

"I'm serious! My father was a Duke in the Harden Province on the Winding Arrow River."

"You jest! You're as Calormene as I am!"

"She doesn't jest," a female voice said behind them. "She really is from Archenland."

Saedra turned and saw her _favorite_ person in the world standing behind her chair, looking more ravishing than ever. It was Rabadash's cousin, Rahai Tarkheena. "May I speak with you, Duchess?"

Startled at Rahai's request, Saedra stuttered, "Why, yes…of course!" and stood up.

"I hope you don't mind, Lasaraleen dear," Rahai said sweetly to the Tarkheena sitting across from Saedra. "Saedra and I have been inseparable since we met in Narnia."

"Not at all, darling," Lasaraleen said, waving her hand. "We have plans for tomorrow, Saedra dearest, don't forget!"

"I won't," Saedra said. "It was nice to meet you."

Rahai linked her arm through Saedra's as they walked away from the table. She steered Saedra so that they left the veranda and went inside to where the music was louder and they could see the dancers. Saedra was relieved to be away from Lasaraleen's incessant chatting and giggling, but being with the silent Rahai didn't strike her as being any better.

"You must be happy to be home," Saedra commented lightly, trying to make conversation.

"I am," Rahai replied. "I loved Narnia to death, but it's always more comfortable to be around people you know well."

"You liked Narnia?" Saedra asked, surprised.

"I did," Rahai nodded. "You thought I didn't?"

"You were usually quiet and didn't care to leave Rabadash's side," Saedra said bluntly, "so I just thought you didn't approve."

Instead of being offended by Saedra's forthrightness, she chuckled. "Oh, I did approve. But since I didn't know anyone else up there, there was really no one I could keep company with besides Rabadash. I'm not outgoing like Lasaraleen, where I can just make friends that easily. To be honest, I was intimidated by how closely knit you and the Narnian rulers are."

"I admit, I am surprised! I feel guilty now. I wasn't friendly at all to you!"

"Oh, I don't hold it against you," Rahai said earnestly. "I saw that there were other things on your mind with regards to the High King."

"I see I'm an open book!" Saedra exclaimed, dismayed. "I had hoped it wasn't quite so obvious."

"I cannot speak for anyone else, but to me it looked like a lover's quarrel. I do hope it has been resolved. I had the distinct impression that the High King was paying attention to me in order to make you jealous!"

Saedra was speechless. Not only was Rahai a sweet person who was not angry at Saedra for her rudeness, but she was sympathetic to her plight with Peter! She knew that the Tarkheena's assumption about Peter was false, for there was no plausible reason why Peter would need to make her jealous, but she appreciated Rahai's sympathy.

"I'm afraid that I was very mistaken about you, Tarkheena. I have been incredibly self-centered, and now you're giving me the courtesy in your home country that I didn't show you in Narnia."

Rahai laughed. "You're making me out to be a saint, and I'm the last person to be described as such."

"From my perspective, you are," Saedra protested. "I hope you can give me another chance."

"What do you think I'm doing now?" Rahai said, grinning at her.

They both laughed, and Saedra decided that Rahai was the kind of person that she could learn to like very much.

"I see King Edmund over there," Saedra said, pointing to where Edmund was talking with Tumnus. "Let us go keep him company, for he hasn't moved from that spot all night."

"Oh! All right."

As they made their way through the crowds of people, Rahai adjusted her dress and hair quickly, which Saedra found odd. When they reached him, Saedra put her hand on his shoulder and said, "Edmund, surely you remember Rahai Tarkheena."

Edmund smiled and bowed. "Good evening, Tarkheena. It's a pleasure to see you again."

Rahai curtsied as gracefully as a swan with a tinge of pink on her cheeks. "It's a pleasure to see you again as well. I hope you've been enjoying your visit thus far."

"It's been very _informative_," Edmund said diplomatically. "I hope you enjoyed your visit to Cair Paravel also."

"I did," Rahai smiled. "It was very…informative."

They all laughed at her use of Edmund's description.

"And you've met Tumnus," Saedra said, nodding at Tumnus. "I don't know if you've met Stamprin and Moonshackle, the Dwarves."

"How do you do, Tumnus?" Rahai asked. "No, I have not had the pleasure of meeting you two before."

The introductions were made between Rahai and the Dwarves, and a lively conversation ensued. While Rahai talked to them, Saedra turned to Edmund and asked suddenly, "Where's Corin?"

"He was getting antsy, so I let him go off to explore the gardens," he replied. "Would you care to dance?"

"I'd love to, but perhaps Rahai would like to. Rahai, would you like to dance with Edmund?"

Rahai paused in her conversation with the Narnians to say, "Oh! Um no, thank you. I'll see if I can persuade Tumnus to dance with me."

As Edmund took Saedra's hand and led her onto the dance floor, they could hear Tumnus' protests behind them. They grinned at each other.

The music was very different from the kind played in Narnia. While Narnian music was fast-paced with a light beat, Calormene music had a slow, heavy beat. The dancing was also different, with slow hip-swaying and fluid arm movements.

While Saedra didn't find it strange to move her hips to the beat, Edmund looked embarrassed to move in such a way. His face was beet-red, and Saedra couldn't contain her laughter; she burst out laughing.

"What?" he said defensively as she dipped under his arm. "Am I doing it wrong?"

"You're dancing beautifully, but you keep making funny faces...that's what's so hilarious!" she giggled.

"It feels strange," he grimaced.

"Oh, stop it! Look over at Rabadash. Do you think he looks funny?"

Edmund looked over at where the Prince and Susan were dancing together. They hadn't left each other's side all night.

"No, he doesn't," he admitted. "Though, the turban is a little much."

They both laughed at that and danced for a little while longer in silence, enjoying the sights around them and the comfortable companionship.

A couple of minutes later, Edmund said, "Looks like Tarkheena Rahai managed to get Tumnus to dance with her."

Saedra looked over and saw that Tumnus had overcome his fear of the Calormene style and was laughing with Rahai. "I was completely wrong about her. She is very _nice_!"

"You didn't seem to like her much back at Cair Paravel, did you?" Edmund recalled.

"I was only thinking about myself," Saedra admitted. "I mistook her shyness for pride."

"I think we all did," Edmund said. "Don't be too hard on yourself."

"Don't be too easy on me," Saedra countered. "I'm in a penitent mood and could be easily talked out of it. So don't, or I'll go back to thinking I'm right about everything."

Edmund laughed heartily. "That's what I love about you, Saedra. You can never be too hard on yourself for long."

After he said that, he blushed deeply.

Saedra was confused why he was turning red, and asked, "Are you all right, Edmund?"

"Why do you ask?" he asked, trying to appear nonchalant.

"Your face is very red!" she replied.

"Is it? Perhaps it's the warm climate of Calormen getting to me."

Saedra didn't believe him, but sensed that he didn't want to talk about it anymore, so she changed the subject.

* * *

The party lasted long into the night. When Susan and Saedra were finally in bed in the room that they shared, Susan sighed. "I can't believe I was so quick to think ill of Rabadash earlier! He's a complete gentleman, and incapable of doing something so horrid."

"I noticed you were inseparable tonight," Saedra giggled. "I hardly saw you at all after Rabadash whisked you away."

"Oh, I hope you had a good time," Susan said. "I didn't mean to abandon you!"

"I did!" Saedra quickly assured her. "I met many new people…a few Tarkheenas and Tarkaans. Ahoshta tried to talk to me a lot towards the end, but Edmund saved me from him. You may be surprised that I have made a new friend, though it's someone that we know already."

"Who?"

"Rahai Tarkheena."

"You mean the one who was clinging to Rabadash all the time? I didn't like her at all. You say you are friends now?"

"Susan, we were completely wrong about her. She has to be the nicest person I've ever met. I know you'd love her."

"As long as she stays away from Rabadash, I'll like her," Susan sniffed.

"Susan!" Saedra admonished. "Do you honestly think that Rabadash has eyes for anyone but you after the way he acted tonight?"

"You're right. Okay, I'll give Rahai another chance. When will we see her?"

"Tomorrow. A Tarkheena named Lasaraleen invited me to go shopping with her tomorrow, and Rahai promised to go along with us. You must come too!"

"What's this Lasaraleen like?" Susan asked.

"She likes to talk a lot," Saedra chuckled, "but she's harmless. She tries to act superior, but it is more amusing than anything, considering she is at least five years younger than us."

"I'd love to go with you tomorrow," Susan yawned. "By the way, did Ed have fun?"

"Yes, I think so," Saedra said, following her friend's lead and yawning. "We danced a lot…"

"That's good. I know how much he likes to dance with you…" Susan said, her eyes heavy.

"Does he? That's nice…"

Not another word was spoken, for both of them had drifted off to sleep.


	12. The Detrimental Effects of Wine

**The Detrimental Effects of Wine**

* * *

"Oh, darling! That dress is simply _stunning_ on you!" Lasaraleen squealed.

Saedra, Rahai, and Lasaraleen were in the dressing chamber of Tashbaan's best clothing shop, "Best Clothes for the Best," a couple of days after the Tisroc's party. The three girls had done something together every single day, not including sticking together during parties, and now they were inseparable. Susan had gone out with them a couple of times, but mostly she spent time with Rabadash, who loved to have her all to himself.

Rahai was modeling a dress that she had picked out in front of the mirrors, while Saedra and Lasaraleen looked on in envy. Rahai had tried on dozens of dresses that day, but while Saedra had found a dress that she loved right away and Lasaraleen found one after a few tries, Rahai hadn't found anything after a dozen attempts. A slave was helping her adjust the dress so that it fit just right.

"I declare!" Saedra pouted. "Rahai, you haven't put something on today that hasn't looked stunning."

"Well, she _is_ known as the beauty of Tashbaan," Lasaraleen informed Saedra, rolling her eyes. "Everyone in her family is gorgeous."

Rahai shrugged modestly. "I'm not the original beauty, at least. My dead aunt was the beauty, and it gets tiresome with everyone comparing me to her! Now, if you look at the paintings of her, you'll know that I'm _nothing_ compared to her."

"I doubt that," Saedra teased. "If I didn't like you so much, I'd hate you for being so damned beautiful."

Rahai looked over at Saedra knowingly. "I think you did hate me once, if I recall correctly."

Even though it was true, they both giggled.

Lasaraleen, being left out of the joke and not liking to be out of the spotlight, said, "Well, hurry up and pick a dress already so that we can get back to my house and see how the slaves are progressing. My party must be perfect, especially with the Prince himself going!"

"Speaking of slaves," Saedra said, "there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"What's that?" Lasaraleen asked as Rahai went to try on another dress. The slave stepped back into the corner to wait for her.

"I was talking to the slaves that were doing our hair before the Tisroc's party—"

Lasaraleen blinked. "You _talked _to the slaves! Darling, that just isn't done!"

"I know, but I'm not used to that way of thinking. Anyway, they were two girls who were barely eleven years old, and they told me that one day they would be courtesans for the Tisroc or Prince Rabadash in a couple of years."

"What of it?"

"I wanted to know if that was true!"

"Not really," Lasaraleen said, waving her hand carelessly. "Those poor things were probably hoping that they would stay in the palace once they were used. No, no, no. Once they are used, they'll be sent to the brothels outside the palace to be used by the Tarkaans. By Tash, are you all right? You look ill!"

"I do feel ill," Saedra admitted. "I think I threw up a little in my mouth."

Rahai came out in another stunning dress, and overhearing what Saedra had said, asked, "What's wrong?"

"Oh, I was just explaining to her about the brothels," Lasaraleen said. "My dear Rahai, I think that is the best dress you've worn all day! The red fabric is simply stunning."

Rahai ignored her comment and looked at Saedra sympathetically. "It's a shock, isn't it? The first time I found out about them, I reacted the same way."

"The first time?" Saedra asked.

"I was about twelve or thirteen when I started asking questions. But you get used to it," Rahai said, looking embarrassed. "We _shouldn't_ get used to it; there should be an outcry about the way the girls are treated. But the men who make the laws are the ones who are using the brothels, so nothing gets done."

Rahai decided that she liked that dress, so they paid for their purchases and went outside to get into their litter. Another question formed in Saedra's mind as they settled into their cushions, but she was hesitant to ask. She swallowed and asked tentatively, "I was wondering something else. Do the girls ever become pregnant?"

"My, my, you do ask a lot of questions!" Lasaraleen laughed nervously, looking around to make sure they weren't overheard as they were carried past the common people.

"You know, I really don't know the answer," Rahai said.

"Oh, don't be silly!" Lasaraleen laughed in a high-pitched way. "The girls are usually too young to bear children. And if they aren't, they know better than to get pregnant, because they'd be killed before the news got out."

This time, Rahai was stunned as well. "You jest."

"I do not!" Lasaraleen protested. "Why do you think there's such a high demand for trained courtesans?"

There were a few minutes of silence as the women retreated into their own thoughts.

As Saedra stared out as the crowds lining the street to make way for their approach, she couldn't help wondering, _What would I do in such a situation? Would I learn to accept it because I didn't know the freedom that I could have? Or would I try to escape?_

The trip up to Lasaraleen's mansion seemed much faster going back than going down to the market, and soon Lasaraleen said in an infinitely relieved voice, "Ah! Here we are."

Even though the large house was immaculate and didn't look as if it could be more ready for a party, Lasaraleen found a reason to yell at the slaves. While she did so, Rahai and Saedra went up to her bedroom to get ready.

"I'm afraid that our conversation has left me with a foul taste in my mouth," Rahai admitted, closing the door behind her. "I think I'll need some wine to loosen up before I go down to the party later."

"I will too," Saedra agreed, sitting on the bed. "I just wish there was something we could do for all of those girls that are trapped in that life…"

"Saedra, sometimes no good can come from thinking like that. There's honestly nothing we can do about it, so why beat yourself up about something you can't change? If we did try to do something, we would be called crazy and be outcasts, and that doesn't help anyone either."

Saedra nodded. "I know. Is there any influential man who is sympathetic?"

"No. Have you not wondered why I'm twenty years old and unmarried while thirteen-year-olds marry here? I'm repulsed by the idea that a man I'd marry would wander over to the brothels at any hour and be considered normal and healthy while I'd be stuck at home."

"Your parents haven't forced you to marry?"

"My father certainly tries, but I've made it so that no smart man will ever ask for my hand in marriage."

"What do you mean?" Saedra asked.

"I gave a few people the impression that I'm barren, and the word has spread. No matter how pleasing I am to the eye, no man will marry a woman who can't give him a son and heir."

Saedra chuckled. "That's really funny, but it's sad that you have to resort to doing that. What if you really meet a man that you would want to marry, and he avoids you because he thinks you're really barren?"

"Any man that I fall in love with will see past that, or else he wouldn't have the kind of character that would make me attracted to him," Rahai shrugged.

"A woman after my own heart!" Saedra smiled.

Lasaraleen walked in then. "What's this? You aren't dressed yet? The guests will be here in an hour!"

* * *

Over the next two hours, the three women got ready for the party. When they went down, most of the guests hadn't arrived yet. Saedra and Rahai were still in somber moods, so Lasaraleen parked them in front of the wine bowl and headed off to greet visitors. They sipped the strong wine to loosen up so that when the Tisroc, Rabadash, Susan, and the rest of the Narnians and Corin arrived, the two of them were positively jolly.

"Susan!" Saedra exclaimed, going over to the group. "I've hardly seen you these couple of days!"

Susan beamed, patting the arm of her lover. "Yes, Prince Rabadash has been giving me quite the tour of Tashbaan."

"Did he give you a tour of the brothels?" Saedra said pleasantly. The mood instantly shifted from friendly to uneasy, but Saedra was oblivious. "Because from what _I _hear, he has probably slept with every girl in there. Once he uses the poor children, he throws them in there so he doesn't have to deal with them!"

Corin was staring wide-eyed, Susan and Rahai were staring at her with shock, and Rabadash was glaring.

Edmund tried to intervene by taking Saedra's arm. "Saedra dear, let's go find some food. You must be starving."

Saedra didn't notice the warning tone in his voice. "Once he strips an innocent girl of her virginity, he discards her in the brothels. Oh, that is if he doesn't have her _killed _first!"

Edmund muttered to Corin, "Help me with her!"

They each took one of her arms and steered her around. Saedra turned her head around to look around back at the group. "Better watch out, Gentle Susan!"

They sat her at a table. "Corin, be a good lad and fetch me some food for her," Edmund instructed, not releasing his grip on Saedra.

Corin obeyed.

"Why are you being like this, Edmund?" Saedra said. "I'm perfectly capable of fetching my own food."

"I know you are, but I want to sit with you and talk to you," he replied. "How was your day?"

"Please, Edmund, you're treating me as if I was intoxicated or something. I only had a little wine, just ask Rahai!"

"I never said anything about being intoxicated," Edmund said calmly, taking the food from Corin who had just arrived and putting it in front of Saedra. "All we want is to spend some time with you. We haven't seen you since…last night."

"Yes," Corin agreed, fascinated by Saedra's strange behavior. "We, um…missed you."

Edmund gave Corin a look that plainly said, _You_'_re_ _not_ _helping_.

"I'm feeling sleepy," Saedra said, pushing back her chair. The shrimp that Corin had gotten for her didn't look too appetizing. "I think I'm going to go to bed."

"Here, let me help you," Edmund said, standing up.

Saedra didn't think that was necessary, but decided to be nice and let him since he so _obviously_ wanted to be of service. Why else would he be doing all of these things for her?

"Thank you, my man. That would be lovely."

"I'll be right back, Prince," Edmund said. He led her out of the room as inconspicuously as possible. Saedra led the rest of the way to Lasaraleen's room, and when they stopped in front of the door, she said, "Good night, Edmund my dear. I hope I haven't spoiled your night. I love you, you know that? You're the best man I know."

Edmund swallowed. "Thank you, Saedra. Will you be all right from here?"

"Yup!" she said cheerily. She opened the door, stepped inside, and gave Edmund a little wave before shutting it. She stumbled over to the bed and flopped on it just before dizzy darkness engulfed her.

* * *

The next thing Saedra knew was the weight of something very heavy falling on her. She moaned, "Get off of me!" and tried to roll over. At first the weight prevented her from moving, but it was suddenly lifted, and her momentum caused her to roll completely off the bed.

"By Tash!" a woman's voice exclaimed. "Saedra!"

Saedra looked up from the floor and saw Lasaraleen and a handsome Tarkaan that she had met at a previous party standing in front of her.

"I thought you said no one was up here," the Tarkaan whined, clearly drunk. His hair and clothes were very messy.

"Well, that's what I thought!" Lasaraleen snapped, and then bent down to put her hand on Saedra's forehead. "Are you alright, sweetie?"

Saedra sat up, feeling like a pile of rags on the floor. "I have a bit of a headache, but I'm all right. What time is it?"

"It's almost morning," Lasaraleen said. "All of the guests have left. Oh, except for King Edmund. He fell asleep waiting for you on one of the couches."

Saedra stood up suddenly, which her head did not appreciate, remembering the events of the night.

"Oh, Lasaraleen, I'm sorry about how I acted last night!"

Lasaraleen laughed carelessly. "Darling, I don't mind a bit! You gave us all something to talk about. You may want to thank me, because I took all the credit for it. I said that I got you drunk as a joke, saying that you have never gotten drunk before."

"Lasaraleen!" the Tarkaan growled.

"Oh, yes, yes!" she said quickly. "Well, Saedra dear, you will find King Edmund downstairs in the main hall. Poor man didn't want to leave you here alone."

Saedra took the hint and went to the door. "It really was a wonderful party, Lasaraleen—well, at least from what I can remember."

That pleased Lasaraleen, and she smiled. "See you later, dear. And you might want to look in the mirror before you go downstairs. Ta ta! Oh, and feel free to have my slaves carry you home. Just tell them I said you could, and if they cause you any problems, I'll have them whipped!"

Saedra left and went down to the main hall. She was not in any mood to be looking in the mirror, for all she wanted to do was go back to their chambers at the palace and sleep.

_Edmund doesn't care what I look like, _she thought as she approached his sleeping form. He was curled up on one of the couches near the front door.

She unsteadily knelt by him and whispered, "Edmund?"

A light sleeper, he moved and opened his eyes, groaning. "Saedra."

"Morning," she sighed. "You didn't have to wait for me, you know. All the same, I'm glad you did."

"Didn't want you to have to walk back by yourself," he said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"Lasaraleen said we could have her slaves bring us back."

"No, I don't think—" he started saying, then stopped when he looked at her face. "All right, that sounds like a good idea."

"What? What is it?"

"Nothing. We just don't look quite ourselves, so it would be best if we aren't seen on the streets."

Saedra wasn't satisfied by that answer, but she felt too nasty to question further. She got her answer anyway when she passed a mirror in the entranceway. She groaned in embarrassment: her eye makeup had smeared and made her eyes look raccoon-ish, and she had marks on her face from the fabric on Lasaraleen's bed.

After her initial horror, she laughed. "Edmund! Were you really going to let me go out like this?"

He looked at her sheepishly. "I figured we could keep the curtains down."

When they got back to the palace, everyone else was still asleep, even though it was mid-morning. Saedra tried to slip into bed without waking Susan, but the Queen rolled over and looked at her.

"Morning," Saedra said, trying to sound cheerful.

Susan just continued staring at her, and sat up as Saedra was settling in.

"You have a lot of nerve, Saedra."

Saedra didn't know what to say, but Susan spared her by continuing.

"I invited you to come down here with us, and you make a complete and utter fool of yourself. Not only that, but you insult Prince Rabadash in front of the Tisroc and embarrass _me_!"

"Susan, I never intended to embarrass you. I did have a bit much to drink, but I won't blame my behavior on that. I was angry with Rabadash, and I took it out on him. It wasn't the appropriate time or place, but I don't regret it. It's about time someone gave that man a talking to!"

"Whatever for? He's been nothing but gracious so far!"

"You forgot our talk with Talia and Zahar quite easily, I see!" Saedra exclaimed, her head pounding with a headache that only seemed to worsen. "I certainly haven't, and yesterday I asked Lasaraleen and Rahai about it. Do you know that the girls that Rabadash rapes are not even child-bearing age! The girls that are as misfortunate enough to mature early are _killed _if they become pregnant!"

"I refuse to believe it! There is nothing in Rabadash's manner that would suggest such cruelty."

"I can understand you disbelieving the slave girls, but to doubt Rahai and Lasaraleen…that's just deliberate blindness!"

"You're quick to believe anything your new friends say to you!" Susan spouted.

"That's because they aren't blinded by love to a pompous Prince!"

Susan glared at her for a second before throwing back the covers, muttering, "Why do I even try?" while getting changed as fast as possible.

After she left the room, Saedra lay in bed a long time, mulling over their argument.

_Susan and I have never fought before! She must really love Rabadash if she's willing to believe him instead of me, _she thought. _But she's always had so much common sense. Surely she knows I wouldn't lie about this._

She rolled over and stared out the window, but the glare from the sun annoyed her eyes, so she rolled back over again.

_This is what love does to people: makes them nonsensical._ Reminders of Peter flew into her head. _I have been just as blind as she is. I thought Peter was my knight in shining armor, but he lost interest in me the moment he knew he had my affection. It was all about the chase for him. If only he wasn't so temperamental…if only he was more like Edmund. _

The last thought surprised her as soon as she thought it, but it was true. Edmund was steady and he was the only one of the Four with whom she'd been friends as a child. His moods didn't swing, and he and Saedra had never had any reason to argue.

Her lack of sleep started getting to her. The last thing she remembered muttering in her hazy state before falling asleep was, "If I had to pick a man to marry this moment, it would be Ed…"

* * *

She slept through the day and was stirred only when Talia came in to bring their clean laundry and straighten up the room. Saedra sat up and rubbed her face.

"Hello, Talia."

Talia started and looked over at her with an alarmed expression. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you, Ma'am. I didn't know you were in here."

Saedra chuckled. "You honestly don't need to be so proper with me, dear girl. I'm not going to hit you or anything. Besides, it's about time I woke up. It's dark outside already! Where is everyone?"

"All of your companions are down having dinner, my Lady," she said.

Saedra did not like the idea of going down to dinner to face everyone after her embarrassment, especially if they were already sitting down. "Talia, would you mind doing me a favor?"

"Anything you ask!" she replied eagerly.

"Could you fetch me a little something to eat? I'm ravenous, but I don't want to go down just yet."

Talia curtsied, "Of course. I'll return as fast as I can."

"Oh, there's no rush—" Saedra began, but Talia had already skipped out of the room.

She chuckled again and flopped back on the bed. Talia was such a sweet, agreeable girl, and Saedra was sickened by what lay ahead in her future. Zahar seemed to understand and strangely look forward to her fate, but Talia…she seemed to know what lay ahead for her, but was too innocent to comprehend it. Saedra knew that if there was anything to do to help Talia, she would do it.

Just then, the door opened. Talia came in carrying a tray heavy with food. There were rolls, several types of seafood with delicious-smelling sauces, fruit, and a large cup of wine.

"Talia!" Saedra laughed as she set it down on the bed. "You didn't need to bring this much!"

Talia smiled shyly, as if she had hoping that Saedra would be impressed. Then she remembered something and pulled a folded-up note from her pocket. "King Edmund told me to give you this note."

Saedra took it and opened it.

_Dear Saedra,_

_I would be writing with a lot more flourish, but I know that you don't care for the colorful wording we use here, so I will be direct. I was wondering if you would care to come stay with me for the next couple of days. My father has heard about you and is extremely interested in meeting you. If that is agreeable with you, just send your reply and we will pick you up tomorrow at noon._

_Your Friend, _

_Rahai Tarkheena_

_She must have learned that Susan and I have quarreled, _Saedra thought. _That's why she's being so kind and offering a place for me to stay while we cool off. _

"How'd Edmund get this?" she asked aloud.

"Tarkheena Rahai came by this afternoon while you were sleeping," Talia replied. "I didn't see it, but she must have given the note to him for you."

"Could you fetch me something to write with?" Saedra asked. There was no way she was rejecting an offer to avoid Susan for a couple of days. If Susan wanted to dig her own grave, she could, but Saedra didn't want to be around to witness it.


	13. Lalevis

**Lalevis**

* * *

"Father, meet Duchess Saedra Harden of Archenland."

Saedra and Rahai had just entered Rahai's father's large office and were standing in front of his wooden desk. Seated behind the desk was a man in his late fifties with greying hair and expensive clothes. He didn't have as many jewels on as did many men in his station and had a dignified, tan face that was studying her very closely.

Saedra curtsied, and he stood up and walked around the desk towards them.

"Saedra, this is my father, Cradish Tarkaan, the famed war hero of Calormen."

Cradish bowed, and though Saedra had never heard of him, she wasn't surprised that he had once been a warrior. He was tall and despite his age, looked to be in excellent shape, which was very different from the obese men in the Tisroc's court.

"I'm honored by your presence. I've heard much about you since your arrival in Tashbaan, my Lady," Cradish said in a deep voice.

Saedra laughed nervously. "Nothing good, I suspect."

Cradish raised his eyebrows, "Quite the contrary. All of Tashbaan is astir that a beautiful woman from the North that looks just like my long-dead sister has arrived."

"Pardon me?" Saedra asked, confused.

"Let's sit down," Rahai suggested, and they settled themselves in the comfortable couches. "Now Father, what is this about? Why'd you want to meet Saedra?"

Cradish looked at Saedra. "I think the Duchess has the answers."

"Me!"

"Yes, you. Tell me, who is your mother?"

"My mother is dead. Truly, I know very little about her." She paused. "My father never spoke of her. You know, I don't even know her real name! She was always referred to as 'The Duchess,' and no one would ever speak of her at home. I never thought of it as strange—until now that you ask me about her."

Cradish looked at her intensely. "Do you have any idea why they would do that?"

"No, I don't," Saedra stared off behind him, out the open window that let in a warm breeze. "My father never wanted to talk about her, but I assumed it was because he missed her too much to talk about her. Sometimes it seemed like the thought of her made him angry, making me suspect that she'd hurt him."

Cradish sat back in his seat, satisfied. "I can assure you that your mother would never hurt a fly, let alone her husband."

Saedra laughed shortly. "How can you be so sure?"

"I knew her. She was my sister."

Saedra didn't know what to say. "Your _sister_?"

Cradish nodded and explained. "As soon as Rahai mentioned your name, I wondered. You are a duchess from Archenland (and my sister married a duke from Archenland), yet look as Calormene as Rahai here. You also look the right age to be my sister's daughter."

"I'm twenty-three," Saedra said.

"Lalevis died twenty-three years ago."

"My mother did die in childbirth…" Saedra said, processing this information and trying to make sure that they weren't missing anything obvious that would prove that the whole idea was preposterous. The whole idea that someone would announce, "You have living relatives!" was strange, to say the least. She'd always been under the impression that her mother had been from Telmar, but she really had no basis for that assumption.

"But if you're my family, why did you not contact me?" she finally asked.

"We didn't know about you," Rahai said.

"But my father wasn't a cruel man," Saedra protested. "If he married a Calormene, surely he wouldn't object to her family! There's no reason that he wouldn't tell you about me when I was born. Maybe the letter got lost somehow."

"No, we did receive word," Cradish said in a low voice. "We received word of her death from pneumonia. But nothing about a child."

Only Saedra's noble upbringing stopped the disbelieving grunt that wanted to be free. "Are you certain I'm the right person?"

"Your father is Dane Harden, is he not?"

"Yes…"

"There's no way you could have a different mother, because Lalevis was still alive around the time you were born. It would have been impossible for Dane to take another wife so fast, and it would take another nine months at least for her to bear a child."

Silence followed that speech.

Finally, Saedra said quietly, "Tell me about her."

It was apparent that Cradish had been fond of his sister, for a pleasant expression filled his face as he thought back. "Lalevis, daughter of Tishrash Tarkaan, good friend of the Great and Majestic Tisroc (may he live forever), was very pretty—the prettiest girl in the Tashbaan it was said. She was ten years younger than I from a different mother. She was the apple of everyone's eye, and because of that our father didn't pressure her to marry until she was sixteen when she had two offers of marriage.

"The first was from the Grand Vizier (not Ahoshta, but the one before him). He was old—near death as was soon revealed, and had had his eye on dear Lalevis since she was little. Lalevis was repulsed by the idea, so was her mother Sadris, but there was no way to refuse him without causing a scandal and shaming the family.

"Fortunately, (or perhaps not so fortunately, we will never know) Dane Harden was acting as ambassador and visiting Tashbaan at that time. The minute he laid eyes on Lalevis, he was mesmerized by her as all men were who beheld her. He was a handsome, gracious man, and the decision was easy for her. She married Dane within a month of the proposal in a lavish Calormene wedding. Afterwards, she sailed north with him, and we didn't see her for eight years until she came back down when our father was dying.

"When she returned, she was a changed woman. She was no longer just a pretty girl but a beautiful woman, but the North had changed her. She was more reserved and she confided in us how lonely she had been up there, even though people were kind. She ended up spending a year with us before she got word that Dane missed her terribly and wanted her back. She left, and half a year later we received word of her death."

Saedra was dumbfounded, and even Rahai looked like some of this was new to her. Cradish didn't say anything more while Saedra reflected on what he had told her, just watched her reactions.

A million things were going through Saedra's mind, and the main thing was, _Why wasn't I told any of this! _She could see no reason or motive for Cradish to lie to her. On top of that, there was definitely a family resemblance between Saedra and Rahai…a person would have to be blind not to see it. That must have been what the fuss was about when the Tashbaanians saw her with Susan in the litter when they had first arrived.

"Anything else you want to tell me?" Saedra said, giving a short laugh. "I couldn't be more stunned than I am now."

"You're named for your grandmother Sadris," Cradish shrugged, looking sympathetic. "She is out for the day with a family friend, but she will be back later tonight."

Saedra nodded. "I would love to meet her."

* * *

She met her grandmother that night at dinner.

When Saedra and Rahai entered the dining room, Cradish and another man who looked to be the same age as him were lounging on the couches around the low table. With them was a woman who was maybe ten years older than Cradish (Cradish had explained that she was not his biological mother; she was his father's second wife). She had the remnants of a beautiful face, though it was lined with wrinkles. She had long white hair that hung about her still-slim figure gracefully.

Cradish and the other man were chatting quietly, and when they noticed the cousins walking towards them the two men stood up to greet the guest.

"Saedra, let me introduce you to an old family friend," Cradish said, patting the man on the back. "This is Tarkaan Abrastan. He was a—a good friend of your mother's." His voice faltered, and Saedra wondered if it hurt him to be reminded of his dead sister after all of these years.

Saedra curtsied and Abrastan bowed politely, staring at her intensely the whole time. He was an extremely handsome man, and also had the muscular physique of Cradish. But despite his good looks, he had the dull look of someone who had seen what the world had to offer and found it wanting.

"Get out of my way, Cradish!" Sadris snapped from the chair. "I want to see Saedra."

Cradish rolled his eyes, and he and Abrastan moved out of Sadris' line of vision.

Saedra instantly felt nervous. What would Sadris think of her namesake? Saedra had had no idea that she had any living relatives, and now she had a cousin, uncle, and grandmother, and who knows what else! She suddenly didn't want anything to mess it up-she needed Sadris to like her.

"Come here, girl," Sadris said, holding up her thin arms to beckon Saedra closer.

Saedra obeyed, kneeling down in front of her couch. Sadris put her hands on Saedra's face and turned it around to see all of the angles, as if she was a nurse examining her.

After a few minutes of silence, Sadris announced, "She's my Lalevis' girl, all right," even though at that point there wasn't any real question about it. "You don't have her good looks, but there's no doubt about who your parents are. Unfortunately, you have your father's eyes; Rahai inherited the pretty ones."

"I do?" Saedra asked, surprised about the comment about the eyes. "But-" She was going to point out that Dane's eyes had been blue and not brown when Sadris quickly said, "I don't mean the color, dear, of course. Just…the shape." Then she chuckled, "You do seem have some of Lalevis' spirit, though. The Northerners haven't driven it from you fully."

Saedra didn't like the tone of voice Sadris used about the North. "I think my spirit is due to the fact that I _am_ Northerner, not in spite of it."

"_Oh_?"

Emboldened by Sadris' disbelieving look, Saedra elaborated. "If I had been born here, I would learned long ago that the world is only for men and that women are only accessories, and would have either killed myself or become dull and lifeless."

She knew she had spoken too much, but she was becoming tired of the way women were treated in Tashbaan. Even her own uncle had introduced his male friend to her before introducing her to her own grandmother, and while that wasn't a huge issue, it showed a lack of respect.

Sadris' eyebrow was cocked. "I see you have been talking to our Rahai."

"Yes, but mainly I have been talking to the slaves about what it is like to live here."

"Have a seat, Saedra," Cradish said firmly. "You must be hungry."

Saedra, surprised at the interruption to their conversation, looked between Sadris and Cradish for a second before taking the empty couch. A slave instantly came out of the shadows to help her fill her plate with the food that was piled on the table.

"I don't know if Rahai has mentioned it, but she has two younger sisters," Cradish said, chomping on some food. "The gods didn't see fit to bless us with sons, but at least they're pretty like their sister."

"Where are they?" Saedra asked.

Cradish stopped eating and looked at her as if surprised that she spoke. "They are out of town visiting some friends in the South, suffering through their last months of being maidens. At least _they_ won't shame me by not marrying." He looked over at Rahai and glared at her, but she only looked down at her plate and continued her quiet eating.

Saedra was puzzled by Rahai's uncharacteristic silence and asked her, "How old are your sisters?"

"Thirteen and fourteen," Cradish answered instead. "It's about time one of my daughters married. Rahai is shaming our family with her inability."

The rest of the dinner continued much this way until Abrastan and Cradish started talking about the southern part of Calormen and completely ignored the women. After dinner was done, Saedra and Rahai went up to Rahai's bedroom.

Once Rahai had shut the door behind her, she leaned against it and said, "By Tash, that's the worst he's been in a long time. Saedra, you mustn't think ill of father. He just gets like this whenever there are other men around. When it's just us women with him, he's usually fine."

"I was about to say! I was startled by his change in countenance. He went from being a loving—well, not outright loving, but an interested father and uncle—to being hostile!"

"That's the way it is in every home," Rahai said, walking over to a couch and sitting in it. "Honestly, I didn't think twice about it until I went up to Narnia and saw how equal the sexes are up there. You spoke to all the men as an equal, and they respected you. I had never seen that in all my days, and it makes me take another look at how things happen here."

"You make things sound like they are perfect up north," Saedra quickly said. "They may be better than down here, but they aren't perfect. I still have to deal with residual anger with the men who don't like the fact that my father passed down the leadership of his province to his daughter. Now I know that some of the spite had to do with the fact that I am half-Calormene, but there have been some snide comments about women in a man's occupation all the same."

"Saedra, all I know is that I'd trade places with you any day. If my father forces me to marry some old man who's too inept to take note of my supposed barrenness, I don't know what I'll do! Maybe I should run away and live with you," she sighed.

Saedra knew that she had been joking, but assured her all the same, "You're always welcome to my home. I'd be glad of the company, for there are only two of us women that live in the castle that aren't attendants."

"Sounds lovely," Rahai said. "I think I'll take you up on that offer one day."

* * *

The days Saedra spent in the company of her newfound family were the most instructive days of her life. It had been one thing to stay in the palace and with the Narnians; it was another thing to actually live with the Tashbaanians and experience a slice of their existence. She began to understand and even appreciate their way of life, but some things about Calormen continued to confuse and aggravate her.

For example, the way Cradish acted continued to be a mystery to her. Sometimes he would go so far as to be affectionate with Rahai and Sadris, but other times he would be brash and treat them like they were no more than scum. He usually treated Saedra with more respect since she was a guest. But most disturbing to her was the fact that twice during her visit, Cradish left them without hiding the fact that he was headed to the brothels!

Abrastan was very different from Cradish, and Saedra liked him even though he was moody and silent most of the time. His respect for women was obvious, and he was the first Calormene man that she had seen that trait in. He had a strong dislike for the brothels and did not hide that fact from Cradish, who would just laugh off his comments. The only thing that puzzled her about Cradish was that he hated to hear anyone talk about Lalevis and would avoid Saedra whenever possible.

Sadris was the one that Saedra came to know the most besides Rahai, and she was a multi-faceted woman. She had a lot of spirit, yet knew her place in society and submitted to her son's authority, though not always happily. She could be very snippety, but also be very generous and kind. It was obvious that she had been very pampered and spoiled her whole life and treated slaves like dirt. Saedra was fascinated by her and asked her innumerable questions about her mother Lalevis.

One day Sadris took Saedra up to Lalevis' old room. The door had been locked, and when Sadris unlocked it, she opened the door slowly and held it open for Saedra. Saedra walked in, looking around.

The room was on the third floor of the house in the northwest corner. Since it was afternoon, she could see the tops of the trees through the windows. A large porch wound around the corner of the house holding pots overflowing with exotic flowers.

Inside, the room was spacious. On the wall to Saedra's left was a large canopied bed with yellow drapes, and next to it on each side were little tables that had various articles on them: pens, paper, hair pieces, nail paint, body oil, etc. They all rested there as if Lalevis had just been in there a second ago. On one of the couches in front of the door lay a dress that looked as if had just been taken off and thrown there.

"She never liked the slaves to touch her things," Sadris said, following Saedra's eyes. "She used to throw tantrums when she was little when a slave put something away and she couldn't find it."

Saedra chuckled, walking around the room. "It's like she never left." She turned towards her grandmother. "Thank you so much for taking me up here. It really means a lot to me."

Sadris waved her hand as if it was no big deal, but she looked away and swallowed. "I've only been up here once since she left. It brings back so many memories..."

"Like what?" Saedra asked gently. It was the little details about her mother that interested her as much as the big ones. _These were all things that I would have known if she'd lived._

Sadris walked over to the closet and picked up a pair of satin shoes that were lying on the ground. "She wore these when she danced for the Tisroc." Tears filled her eyes. "We were all so proud of her that day...She was always dancing and singing around the house. She didn't sing nearly as well as she danced, but it made the house so cheery."

Saedra sat down on the bed slowly, soaking in every word Sadris said.

"She was the delight of her brother, and even my husband spoiled her-and he was a proud man who wouldn't even give in to me, but she had him wrapped around her fingers." She walked over to the dress that was thrown on the couch and fingered it. "She was wearing this the day she left. During the year she spent with us, she reverted back to wearing Calormene clothes. When her ship arrived to take her home, she took this one off and changed back into her northern dress. I remember that day as if it was yesterday."

"Didn't she miss her husband while she was here?" Saedra asked. Her father had been a kind man, and she was slightly perplexed why Lalevis would stay here so long once she was married. Surely her own parents had loved each other!

Sadris snapped out of whatever nostalgic mood she was in and looked at Saedra as if she saw her in a different light. "You wouldn't understand. You didn't grow up here. Tashbaan may have its issues, but it's home. To have to leave here when you're only sixteen and still attached to your family...I don't blame her for what she did."

"What she did? You mean staying here?"

Sadris gave Saedra a measuring look. Finally she said, "Yes, staying here."

After that, Sadris was no longer so talkative and was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Saedra was perplexed, but knew better than to pressure her to talk when she didn't want to.

* * *

Lasaraleen would stop by every day to chat with her friends. Her visits were often long and could be laborious, but Saedra and Rahai put up with her because they pitied her. Lasaraleen's husband was still out of town and she had few friends that would actually put up with her like they did, therefore she was a lonely girl. She _did_ provide a good amount of entertainment, so the three usually had fun together.

One afternoon while Saedra, Rahai, Sadris, and Lasaraleen were having lunch on a patio at Cradish's estate (which was located on the river banks), a slave brought in a note for Rahai, saying, "Master Cradish wishes you to read this note, Mistress Rahai." He then handed Saedra another similar note and said, "This was also arrived for you, Duchess."

As Rahai was scanning hers, Sadris said eagerly, "What is it, girl?"

"Ahoshta Tarkaan has invited us to dine with him tomorrow," Rahai said slowly. "What did yours say, Saedra?"

"It's from Susan and Edmund. They're telling me the same thing, that Ahoshta has invited us to dine with him tomorrow and 'specifically' asked for me." She looked up. "Why in the world would he specifically ask for me?"

"Perhaps he has taken an interest in you," Sadris said gleefully. "That is good news indeed, for if you marry him you will live near us."

"Grandmother!" Rahai exclaimed. "She will do no such thing! Besides, Ahoshta has already asked the hand of Aravis, daughter of Kidrash Tarkaan."

Sadris waved her hand airily. "He will prefer Saedra, mark my words. Men cannot resist a foreign woman."

"She's not really foreign," Rahai reminded.

"Even better! She has Calormene beauty but talks foreign and wears their clothing—an unbeatable match."

Saedra and Rahai looked at each other, both knowing there was no talking Sadris out of her ideas. Just then, Saedra noticed that Lasaraleen was looking left out. "Maybe you have an invitation back at your home," she suggested to her, trying to make her feel better.

Lasaraleen grunted. "No, I know there isn't. I never get invited anywhere when my husband isn't in town."

"Well, why don't you come anyway?" Saedra asked. Rahai and Sadris stared at her like she was crazy and she asked defensively: "What?"

"You can't just bring Lasaraleen along when she isn't invited, my girl!" Sadris exclaimed.

"Whyever not? I don't mind in the least when someone brings an extra guest to my house; all we do is bring in another plate."

"Saedra, things are different here," Rahai said slowly. "It just isn't done."

"It's all right, Saedra, really," Lasaraleen said. "I can stay at home tomorrow."

"No, it's ridiculous that Lasaraleen can't go tomorrow," Saedra insisted. "It sounds like a large party, and if she was invited to the Tisroc's party, I doubt she'd be rejected at the Grand Vizier's!"

"Saedra—" Rahai said in a warning voice, but Saedra spoke over her.

"Lasaraleen can come as my guest, and I will hear no more words against it. If the Grand Vizier is offended by it, he can tell me himself!"


	14. Dinner with Ahoshta

**Dinner with Ahoshta**

* * *

Despite Saedra's declaration, it was Lasaraleen that decided not to go to the party in the end. She sent a note a half an hour before they were going to leave for Ahoshta's residence that other business had come up and that they should have fun without her.

"It's for the best, Saedra," Rahai said as her personal slave adjusted her dress while they prepared in her bedroom. "It would've been terribly awkward."

"I know, but I feel bad for Lasaraleen being excluded from society just because her husband isn't in town. I think it's ridiculous!"

Rahai snickered playfully. "You find a lot of things around here ridiculous."

"That's true," she laughed. "I'd probably just make Susan more embarrassed with me if I had brought her along."

"How is the Queen, anyway? Have you talked to her at all since you came to stay here?"

"No," Saedra admitted, "I haven't. But I'm sure that things will work out and that she will see the truth about Rabadash on her own."

"You're awfully confident about that. What if she actually does marry Rabadash?"

Saedra paused and finally said, "She won't. She has too much common sense to ignore his glaring faults."

"Love does strange things to people, Saedra."

_Don't I know it! _Saedra thought, but said, "I'll try to find out Susan's mind tonight when I see her. If I really think she's in danger of marrying him, I will try to find a way to persuade her otherwise."

But she never got the chance, for Susan never went to the dinner. In fact, the only Narnian there was Tumnus, looking out of place and awkwardly standing in the foyer adjoining the large dining room. He was looking around at the Calormenes chatting around him and shifting his weight from hoof to hoof when Saedra went over to him, followed by Rahai. Sadris and Cradish (both dressed lavishly) were already chatting with the Tarkaans and Tarkheenas.

"Tumnus! Where is everyone else?"

He looked at her and a relieved expression filled his face. "Oh, Lady Saedra! I was hoping you were coming tonight. Queen Susan is having dinner with Prince Rabadash tonight, but as for King Edmund and little Corin, I have some dre-"

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by a slave hollering, "Please welcome your host, Ahoshta Tarkaan!"

Through the doorway trotted the short man, looking around eagerly. A smattering of applause welcomed him (Saedra put her hands together twice to be polite). He sauntered over to the head of the table and said, "By the grace of Tash the Inexorable, the Irresistible, welcome. As the poets say, _A house full of guests is a master's delight, for they will eat all of your food_, and here we have two score!"

Polite chuckling followed, and Saedra almost felt sorry for how pitiful he looked and sounded.

"I can't imagine how someone like him became so powerful," she whispered to Tumnus.

"Inherited money, most likely," Tumnus whispered back, and Rahai nodded in agreement.

As they were speaking, Ahoshta was rambling off the seating chart. In Calormen, the closer you sat to the host the more important you were. There was a lot of scrambling around while people found their seats. Interestingly, Saedra and Tumnus were seated right next to Ahoshta. Cradish had been set a couple of chairs down from them, and at the end of the long table were Rahai and Sadris with the rest of the women.

Once the eating started, it became plain that Ahoshta was not interested in Tumnus or Saedra themselves but in the information they could provide about Susan and Edmund.

"So tell me, Duchess, how does the great Queen Susan like our land?"

"As far as I know, she likes it very much," she replied, "but I haven't seen her for a few days."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"I've been staying with Rahai Tarkheena."

He raised his eyebrows. "Rahai…?"

"Daughter of Cradish Tarkaan."

"Ah yes, of course. I hope you enjoyed your time there, for _A city is only as great as the visitors that worship it._"

"I did," she said completely honestly. "I enjoyed it very much. It was very interesting."

"Good, good," Ahoshta said impatiently. "What about you, Master Faun? How do you like Tashbaan?"

Tumnus bit his lip nervously for a second and then said, "I'm not accustomed to the heat here, so now that high summer is coming on, my heart turns to the cool woods and dewy slopes of Narnia."

"Yes, and with the Narnian Summer Festival coming on," Saedra added. "I hear the dancing there is marvelous, though I've never been."

Ahoshta gave Tumnus a funny smile, saying, "There's nothing to hinder you from dancing there again, little Goatfoot, always provided you leave us in exchange a bride for our Prince. _The guest who does not repay is a scourge to the host, and the wrath of Tash will bring boils on his household."_

Saedra was wary of the sudden change in tone of his voice, and she and Tumnus exchanged a quick, concerned look.

"Prince Corin is simply fascinated with Tashbaan," Saedra said, trying to change the subject. She didn't know that to be exactly true since she hadn't been around him for a week, but she knew his character and thought it a safe thing to say.

"Yes!" Tumnus agreed. "He is much taken with the city. I think you have found a friend in the Archenlander Prince."

The dinner continued in this fashion, with Saedra and Tumnus trying to be polite and Ahoshta quoting the poets every minute or so. When the dinner was over, Tumnus pulled Saedra aside.

"My dear Lady, I must speak with you. I bring grave news from King Edmund that I didn't want the Grand Vizier to hear."

"What is it?" Saedra said in a hushed tone back.

"Prince Corin has been missing since this afternoon, and no one can find him."

Saedra began to fill with dread as Tumnus continued.

"Search parties have been sent out all over the city, and even the King himself has been out looking. But alas, it's all to no avail. No one has heard word or has even a clue to his whereabouts."

"Why didn't you tell me this before the dinner so that I might go out and help the search?"

"I attempted to, but even so King Edmund has requested that you not go out looking, especially when it is dark outside. He wanted you to stay here."

"I'll go back to the palace with you. When are you leaving?"

"As soon as you are ready. Shall I tell the slaves to get the litter ready?"

"That would be magnificent," Saedra said. As soon as the word "magnificent" slipped out of her mouth, her mind slid over to Peter-but she shoved that thought away hastily. "I'll go over and tell Rahai that I'll be going with you tonight. Let's meet in the front lobby in a few minutes."

Saedra went over to her cousin and grandmother and explained the situation to them. They were disappointed but understanding, and said goodnight. Saedra met Tumnus in the lobby, and they took the litter back to the palace grounds. When they were back in the Narnian quarters of the palace, Edmund and Peridan were they only ones still awake.

Edmund jumped out of his seat when they entered the room and rushed over to Saedra, taking her hands in his. "I've failed you, Saedra. You gave me charge of Corin, and he's nowhere to be found."

She allowed him to guide her over to a couch, and they sat down across from Peridan and Tumnus. "Tumnus told me that you've sent out search parties. Has anything else been done?"

"What can be done besides?" Peridan asked. "We don't want word to get out, or he may find himself in greater danger. Someone could hold him for ransom or kill him just out of spite for Northerners."

Saedra gasped and covered her mouth in shock. "I hadn't thought of that! Do you really think he is in that kind of danger?"

No one wanted to answer that.

After a moment of silence, she stood up. "Well, what are we sitting around here for?"

Edmund stood up and took her arm. "Sae, be reasonable. It's dark outside, and it's highly improbable that Corin would still be out in the streets in any event."

"And there's no point to tiring ourselves looking tonight when we should be saving our strength for a proper search tomorrow," Peridan added.

Saedra sighed, seeing the sense in their words. There was nothing she could do, though the thought of Corin wandering the streets of Tashbaan sickened her—especially since Lune would hold _her _accountable for him!

"I see your point. We should all get some rest then."

The others agreed, and soon they split up for their separate sleeping quarters. Saedra slowly opened the door to the room she shared with Susan, hoping not to disturb her. But when she looked at the bed, it was empty.

Something moved in front of the large window, and when she looked at it, she saw that it was Susan. She had been facing the window with her arms hugging herself as if she were cold, even though it was a warm night and she was wearing a robe.

"Hello," Saedra said tentatively, closing the door behind her and walking over cautiously.

Susan sniffed and dropped her arms by her sides. "Hey."

"Susan, I need to apologize to you. I wasn't as delicate as I could have-"

"Sae, stop. You were right. I knew deep down that you were right, but I didn't want it to be true so I ignored it. But tonight…tonight it was so blatant that I couldn't deny it any longer."

Saedra sat on the edge of the bed. "What happened?"

Susan started pacing, sniffling between words. "I had dinner with Rabadash tonight, just the two of us. Well, we were served by two slave girls, and all the way through dinner Rabadash kept eying them. Finally at the end, he pulled one of them aside and whispered in her ear seductively.

"It was obvious what his intent was but I had to be sure, so I commented casually, 'Deciding which one to sleep with tonight, my dear?' He replied, 'You have read my mind, Loveliest of the Lovely. I am pleased that you've become accustomed to our ways so soon.' Needless to say, I was repulsed beyond reckoning, but I strove not to show it. He then gave me the unbearable choice of _choosing_ which girl he should pick first. Now, Saedra, you'll never guess who the two girls were."

"I can't begin to imagine," she replied. "Who were they?"

"Talia and Zahar, the two girls that did our hair for the first party here."

Saedra gasped. "No!"

"Yes. And_ I_ was given the decision of which girl would sleep with him tonight! Well, I tried to talk him out of it, saying that he needs his rest and such, but he pressed me to choose! I became scared about what he'd do to me if I refused and I recalled that Zahar was much more ambitious than Talia and had been looking forward to the event, so… so I picked her." At this point Susan burst into tears, covering her face with her hands.

Saedra got up and wrapped her arms around her sobbing friend. "There wasn't anything you could have done."

"There had to have been! I keep thinking and thinking of what I should have done," she bawled, "but I can't think of anything and I feel so guilty. If I had been stronger—if I had been more like you—I could have simply chastised him and told him how disgusting it all was. But I couldn't! And now he thinks that I approve, and even worse he's with Zahar as we speak and will use Talia tomorrow!"

"We have to think of some way to get Talia out of this," Saedra said. "Rahai may have an idea, so I'll talk to her tomorrow about it. But what're we going to do about you?"

"About me?" Susan sniffed.

"Surely you aren't still thinking of marrying him?"

"Of course not!"

"Then we need to think about how we are going to deal with Rabadash. He doesn't seem like the kind of man who takes rejection lightly."

"Oh, Sae, what have I done? I've brought us all here for nothing. This whole trip has been a waste!"

"It hasn't been a total loss," she replied, thinking of the discovery of her new relatives.

"How has it not?" Susan asked, back to sniffling again.

"Here, let's sit down. It's a long story I have to tell."

* * *

Saedra left Susan where she was still sleeping and took a litter over to Cradish's mansion the next morning, hoping to talk to Rahai about whether there was anything they could do to stop Rabadash from sleeping with Talia that night. But all Rahai could do was look sympathetic and shrug, "I'm sorry Saedra, but I can't think of anything to help her. For your own safety, I advise you not to get involved. We should just go to the Tisroc's party tonight and have a good time."

"I can't sit by and let an innocent girl go through that!" Saedra protested.

"Lasaraleen is the sneaky one of us," Rahai suggested. "Maybe she'll have an idea when she comes over to get ready with us."

But that plan went foul as well, because Lasaraleen never showed up. Rahai and Saedra were having their afternoon lunch in her bedroom when a slave brought a note for Saedra. It was hastily written and succinct:

_Sae—_

_Corin is back and acting strangely. _

_Ed_

He didn't need to ask her to come; he knew that the news of Corin's arrival would be enough. Saedra shared the news with Rahai and announced, "I have to go back."

Rahai nodded and said to the slave, "Have a litter brought for Saedra at once."

The slave bowed and left immediately.

"I wonder what happened to him," Saedra said, getting up and looking out the window with a worried expression on her face. "Oh, I do wish Edmund had given more details! The suspense is going to kill me!"

"The litter will be ready any minute. Let's go downstairs," Rahai suggested.

The two of them went down to the main entrance, and a few minutes later the litter stopped in front of the stairs carried by four slaves. They went down to it.

"Let me know what you learn," Rahai said, kissing her cheek. "I do hope he's okay."

"I will. See you at the party tonight!"

When Saedra arrived back to the palace, Tumnus was there to greet her, waiting with is now-typical nervousness atop the stairs. She hopped out of the litter before it was completely lowered and ran up the stairs, hiking up her skirts so she wouldn't trip.

"Where's Corin?"

"Come with me, your Ladyship," Tumnus said. "He is in our chambers, but I must warn you: he's acting rather strangely."

"That's what Edmund's note said too. What do you mean by 'strangely'?"

"He has had a touch of the sun and is acting rather dazed. We have him resting in the main room now, so maybe he'll be fine by the time we get back. The King and Queen have gone down to the _Splendor Hyaline _to prepare for a party we'll be hosting there tomorrow."

"A party? I didn't hear about this! When was this decided?" she asked.

"This very afternoon, my Lady. I can tell you all about it once we get inside. Ah, here we are." He pushed open to the door, and when Saedra saw Corin, she gasped.

Corin was seated on one of the couches looking absolutely _terrible_. On top of filthy and torn-up clothes, he had a black eye and a tooth missing. He looked up at them with an excited expression on his face.

"Prince! What in the-" Just then, Saedra thought she heard noises coming from near the window, so she walked over quickly and looked down. A ways away, a boy about Corin's size was just scrambling down the edge of the roof towards the side of the building that acted as part of the wall around the castle.

"Hey, you!" she called.

"Shh!" Corin urged, "Don't let them catch him!"

"Your royal Highness," Tumnus said while Saedra watched the boy hop off the roof of the house, "what has happened to you since we left? You are wearing different clothes, and look frightful! Were you getting into more mischief?"

Saedra whipped around, hand on her hip and a stern expression on her face. "Prince Corin, I demand that you tell me what is going on here!"

"It's all very simple, really," he said without a hint of regret, sounding funny because of the missing tooth. He went on to tell Saedra a long-winded tale of how some boy said a foul thing about Queen Susan and how Corin had knocked him down. Then he had gotten involved with some other people, and he knocked them down as well, and it got very complicated.

Soon Saedra lost track of it all and said impatiently, "Yes, yes, but who was that boy down there?"

"It's the queerest thing!" Corin said animatedly. "I climbed back up through the window just ten minutes ago, and sitting where I'm sitting now was a boy who looked just like me. He said that he was nobody, and that he was going to Narnia or something like that. Then he said that I must sit down, and I told him how to hop off the roof onto some garbage on the street, and here we are!"

"This is all too complicated for me," Saedra said, sitting down and holding her forehead. "Tumnus?"

"I think the gist of it is that when King Edmund thought he found Corin today on the streets, it was really another boy who looked like him. That was why he was acting so dazed."

"Okay, I understand that now. Now what is this about a party on the _Splendor Hyaline?"_

"A party on the _Splendor Hyaline!" _Corin exclaimed, sitting up. "Why wasn't I told of this?"

"You weren't here, Prince, if you'll kindly recall," Tumnus said. "The other boy—" he stopped, suddenly looking frightened. "The _other_ boy heard all of our plans!"

"What's the big deal about hearing your party plans?" Corin asked.

Tumnus glanced at the door, and when he saw that it was shut he said in a hushed tone, "We aren't really throwing a party. We're using that as an excuse to go down to the ship, because we are really leaving Tashbaan tonight!"

"Why?" the young Prince asked.

"Is it because Susan has decided not to marry Rabadash?" Saedra asked, recalling their previous evening's discussion.

Tumnus released the air that he had been holding. "Yes. Then you know that part at least."

"Why isn't she marrying him?" Corin asked.

"It's a long story, Prince. We can tell you all later," Saedra said. She wasn't sure if Corin was old enough to know all the details or not, and was anxious to hear the rest of the plan.

"All of us Narnians convened and decided that it wouldn't be safe for her to refuse him. I'm sure you recall last night when the Grand Vizier was adamant that we leave Queen Susan behind as Rabadash's wife."

Saedra nodded.

"Well," Tumnus continued, "Many of the others have gotten similar warnings. That is why we have decided to pretend that we are hosting a party on our ship, so that we may come and go from it as freely as possible."

"I see!" Saedra said, a smile growing on her face.

"And _tonight_ after the Tisroc's party we are leaving for Narnia!" Tumnus said, clapping his hands gleefully.

"Hoorah!" Corin exclaimed. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Nay, little Prince," Tumnus said. "The King and Queen should be returning at any moment to get ready for the party. You must be a good boy tonight and not say a word of this to anyone."

"What do you take me for?" Corin said, offended. "If there is anyone to worry about, it would have been the boy who heard your plans earlier."

Tumnus and Saedra looked at each other with wide eyes.

Corin continued, ignoring them. "And at any rate, he seemed like a good chap—he said he thought he was a Northerner—and I don't think he'd betray us."

"We don't have a choice either way," Saedra said slowly. "If he does betray our plans, it is better to be on the _Splendor Hyaline _than here-provided we can get on it by then. And if he doesn't, our secret is safe."

Corin, Tumnus, and Saedra talked more about the plans until Susan and Edmund came back. They caught each other up on what had been going on and determined to act as naturally as possible that night at the party.

* * *

When Saedra and Susan were almost done getting ready for the party, Saedra abruptly turned to the two slave girls that had been attending them (they were neither Talia nor Zahar) and said, "Leave us."

When they had shut the door behind them, Susan asked, "What was that about? She was helping me button my dress!"

"I can do that," she replied, going behind the Queen and buttoning her up. "I sent them away because I've just gotten an inspiration about how to save Talia."

"How?"

"We take her with us."

Susan stared at Saedra through the mirror for a full minute, thinking. Finally she said, "That is awfully risky, stealing one of their slaves."

"I'm not stealing anyone if she chooses to go with me willingly. She is a person and has the right to go where she pleases."

Susan paused again. "You know, I think that it's a really good idea, if you can pull it off. The issue is how to find her."

"I've thought about that too. Have you noticed how the Tisroc and Rabadash like to keep their play-things by them during the course of the evening? I'm betting that Talia will be there with the Prince during the party. All you need to do is distract him long enough that I can get Talia away from him so I can tell her our idea."

"But you mustn't give away the whole plan, just in case she turns us in," Susan warned. When she saw her friend's look of reproach, she said, "I know, I know you trust her. It's just that I trusted Rabadash, and look where it has landed me. It's better to be cautious."

"I agree. I'll find a way to offer her freedom without betraying our plans. Are you ready to go?"

Susan leaned into the mirror and rubbed her lips together to spread the gel she had put on them, then turned around and said, "Ready!"

"Then in the name of Aslan, let us see if we can pull off this crazy scheme!"


	15. To Narnia and the North

**To Narnia and the North**

* * *

Saedra had been right in her guess that Rabadash would keep Talia near him that night at the Tisroc's party. When she, Susan, Edmund, and Corin entered the party hall (it was a different hall than the last party had been in), the party was already underway and Rabadash was sitting up on the podium with his father. At his feet sat Talia, looking very frightened.

"Ask Rabadash to dance," Saedra mumbled to Susan. "I'll dance with Ed."

"If you're dancing with Ed-" Susan began to ask, but Edmund cut her off.

"Just do it, Su," he muttered. "Sae knows what she's doing." The two women had apprised him of their plans before they went down. At first Edmund had not approved, pointing out that if caught Saedra would be incredible danger, but when he saw that Saedra would take the risk with or without his help-or approval-he agreed to go along with it.

Susan nodded and walked over to where Rabadash was sitting. When he saw her, he quickly stood up and went down the stairs to her. Edmund and Saedra couldn't hear what they were saying, but soon the Prince and the Queen were heading out for the dance floor.

"I'm going to get some food," Corin announced and began to trot off, but Edmund grabbed him by his collar, saying, "If you run off again tonight, young Prince, we won't go looking for you. That's a threat."

"I shan't run off!" Corin said. "I've learned my lesson."

Edmund released him reluctantly, and Corin skipped off.

"Shall we dance, my Lady?" Edmund asked Saedra with a light voice.

"I would love to, good Sir!" she replied, putting her hand in his.

He led her out to the dance floor and after a few minutes he asked, "So what's the plan? I don't see how dancing is going to help your little friend."

"I'm looking for the right moment…All right, here's the plan: you go up to the Tisroc and act friendly, and then comment on how thirsty you are or how good his wine looks. As an afterthought, turn to Talia and tell her to get you a drink. She'll obey without question. Then you keep the Tisroc occupied in conversation for a while so he won't notice if there's any commotion going on. Oh, and when I don't come back, tell anyone who wonders that I wasn't feeling well and retired early."

Edmund chuckled. "Did you just make this whole scheme up now or have you been planning this?"

"I just made it up now," she said distractedly, then stopped dancing and curtsied. They were at the edge of the dance floor rear the refreshment tables. "Thank you for the dance, your Majesty."

Edmund followed her lead and bowed. "It was my pleasure. Do excuse me. I must greet the Tisroc."

He walked over to the Tisroc and started a conversation with him, while Saedra turned her back to the dance floor and pretended to pick out food. She then went over to the wine bowl and poured herself an almost-overflowing cup of wine.

"You'd better watch out or you'll spill that," an amused voice said.

Saedra turned and breathed an inward sigh of relief when she saw that it was Rahai. "Oh, it's you!"

"Have you seen Lasaraleen tonight? I can't find her anywhere, and I'm starting to worry about her," Rahai asked.

"No, I haven't. Did you get word from her at all after I left?"

"Yes, she sent a note saying that something juicy came up and she'll tell us everything later. I wonder what mischief she has gotten herself into this time!"

"I can't begin to imagine," Saedra said, taking her plate in one hand and the cup in the other.

"What're you doing?" Rahai asked. "You're going to spill! Do you need some help?"

"Remember what I was trying to figure out earlier…about the girl?"

Rahai nodded. "You figured it out then?"

"Yup," Saedra grinned, "and this is a part of it." She peeked over her shoulder and saw Talia coming over, looking miserable. "Watch this."

Just as Talia was about to pass them, Saedra stepped in front of her and quickly dumped her cup of wine down the front of her _own_ dress, yelping as if she had been surprised. The nearby partiers all stopped what they were doing and watched.

"My Lady!" Talia exclaimed, mortified. "I'm so sorry!"

"Ugh! This is my favorite dress!" Saedra said in a haughty voice. "Can't you watch where you're going?"

Talia looked confused at Saedra's tone of voice; Saedra had always been kind to her before. "I—I'm very sorry. May I help you clean up?"

"Of course you will!" Saedra snapped. "Come with me. Rahai dearest, we will have to continue our chat later."

Rahai bit her lip, trying not to laugh at her. Saedra grabbed Talia's hand and deliberately put her on the side of her body that was away from the Tisroc and the dance floor, so that if either of them happened to look her way, they wouldn't see Talia as easily.

A minute later, they were out of the party hall and moving through the dark corridors towards a back entrance that she had scoped out earlier. From that door, they could easily get to the _Splendor_ _Hyaline_ with a small chance of being seen.

"Where are we going? Your apartments are this way!" Talia said nervously, pointing down another hallway.

Saedra stopped, looked around, and kneeled down so that she looked less intimidating. "Talia, I want you to know that I spilled on myself on purpose. It was the only way I could think of to get you alone to talk to you."

"About what?" she asked curiously.

"You know what's going to happen with Rabadash, right?"

Talia looked down and nodded. "Zahar went with him last night, and I haven't seen her since."

Saedra looked at her seriously. "Talia, I have a serious question for you that will affect the rest of your life. I need you to listen to me."

Talia nodded again, looking at her with wide eyes.

"If you could leave Tashbaan—right now—would you?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she repeated emphatically.

"Once you leave, it will be a long time before you can come back," Saedra warned.

"I want to leave. Are you going to take me with you?"

Saedra nodded and held her finger to her lips, listening. "Someone's coming. Come with me, and be very quiet."

She took Talia's hand again and they ran silently through the rest of the hallways, pausing between intersections to see if anyone was coming. Once they had to duck into a room so that a servant wouldn't see them, but they got out of the palace smoothly.

When they reached the _Splendor Hyaline, _it was barely visible in the darkness of the night. When they boarded the silent ship, Peridan was there to meet them.

"You're early. Where's the Queen and King?" he asked.

"They are still at the party," Saedra replied, and tilted her head down to little Talia, who was looking around with wide eyes. "I had a little errand to run."

"You stole one of their slaves, my Lady?" Peridan said disbelievingly.

"She came of her own free will as a human being," Saedra sighed. "We'll be in our cabin."

Peridan shook his head with impressed disbelief, but Saedra ignored him and guided Talia ahead of her and into the cabin that she and Susan shared.

She closed the door behind her and said, "I'm sorry there's no light. We don't want anyone to know we're here."

She went over to Susan's trunk and pulled out at petticoat to change into from her stained dress Saedra and Susan had often shared clothes on the journey since they were nearly the same size. Saedra had left her own clothes in Rahai's bedroom and hadn't wanted to raise any suspicion by transporting the trunk to the ship.

"You're sneaking out?" Talia asked in an excited voice.

"Yes," Saedra nodded, slipping into the clean gown. "Susan doesn't want to marry Rabadash, and we think he'd force her to be his wife if we stayed any longer."

Even though it was dark in the cabin, Saedra could see that Talia understood what she had said, despite her age. "I am glad that we are leaving. Queen Susan's too nice to marry Prince Rabadash."

Saedra smiled, sat down on Susan's bed, and said, "I agree." When she noticed that Talia was still standing, she said, "Feel free to sit down."

"Me…sit?"

Saedra laughed. "Talia, you aren't a slave anymore. You're free. You can do whatever you want now, and you can certainly sit down wherever and whenever you want!"

Talia thought about that for a moment then sharply turned and sat down, an expression of glee on her face.

"See, isn't that much better?" Saedra asked.

Talia nodded. "The bed is so soft!"

"These are nothing compared to the ones you'll be sleeping in once we get back to Narnia," Saedra promised the happy child.

"What's Narnia like?"

Saedra went on to tell her in hushed tones all about what Narnia and Archenland were like until they lost track of time in the darkness. A while later, the door opened and Susan came in.

"We're back," she whispered, slipping into the room. "Peridan said you got back safely. Hello, Talia."

Talia stood up and curtsied to the queen. "Hello, Queen Susan."

"How was getting out of the palace?" Saedra asked.

"It was seamless. The sailors are already moving the ship away from the dock, and there was not a soul around that could have seen us. We might as well go to bed, because we can't light the lamp or go on deck." Susan walked over to the trunk and changed into a nightgown while Saedra pulled down the covers on her bunk.

"You can share a bed with me, Talia," Saedra offered. "It's big enough for the two of us."

Talia's face lit up as she climbed in. She had shared cots before with other slaves, but never a comfortable bed like this and _never _with someone as high-born as Saedra. "Thank you, Ma'am."

"Call me Saedra," the Duchess chuckled, climbing in behind her and pulling the covers up.

Susan soon climbed into her bed, and as they drifted off to sleep, the _Splendor Hyaline _carried them out of Tashbaan and back up to Narnia and the North.

* * *

Saedra would have slept in the next day, but Talia woke her up unintentionally. Growing up as a slave, Talia was accustomed to waking up early to prepare nobles' breakfasts. She had been trying to climb over Saedra to get off of the bed, but she accidentally kicked Saedra's leg. Saedra moaned and rolled over to see what it was, blinking her eyes slowly.

"I'm sorry, my Lady!" Talia whispered in an alarmed voice. "I didn't mean to wake you!"

Saedra pushed her covers off of the rest of her body and sat up, saying, "It's no big deal. I might as well get up too. What time is it?"

"Probably around seven. I slept so late today!"

"Bullocks, girl! This is sleeping in for you?" Saedra grunted, getting off of the bed, rubbing her eyes, and going over to the trunk of dresses. "Well, we might as well get some fresh air and food. There's some water in that basin if you want to wash up first."

Talia hopped out of bed and went over to the basin eagerly, as if washing one's face was an exciting thing to do. Saedra washed her face as well, then changed into a dress and brushed and put up her hair.

Once the two of them were ready, they went out onto the deck. It was a bleak, bright day with a white sky that promised rain later. There was no land in sight, only the sea spread out all around them. A few sailors were going about their work on deck and would tip their hats to Saedra as she passed. They went across the deck to the galley and went inside.

Seated at the long table were Corin and Edmund, the only occupants of the room. When Saedra and Talia walked in, they stood up politely.

"You're up early, Sae!" Edmund commented, sitting down after they were seated and handing them plates. "I don't think I've ever seen you during this time of the day before!" Edmund was like his brother Peter and could get up very early with no problem.

Saedra laughed. "I'm still half asleep, believe me. What're you doing up, Prince?"

"I don't know. This is all too exciting to sleep through," Corin said through his stuffed mouth.

"You call waves that wouldn't disturb plankton exciting?" Edmund chuckled.

"What's plankton?" Corin asked, and Saedra wanted to know as well.

Edmund tilted his head. "I think it's the green stuff that floats on water. It's been a long time since I learned about it."

"Hmph," Corin said, still chewing. "Hullo, who's this?"

Talia had been sitting so quietly that Saedra had almost forgotten about her.

"By the Mane, you two haven't met Talia yet!" she exclaimed, then said formally, "King Edmund, Prince Corin, meet Talia. She's the former slave that I snuck out of the palace last night." (Corin gasped with excitement at that). "Talia, meet King Edmund and Prince Corin."

"A pleasure to meet you, Talia," Edmund smiled.

Talia smiled back shyly, unconsciously leaning towards Saedra. Saedra was filling their plates from the pile of bread and fruit that was on a platter in the center of the table.

"So you're a fugitive!" Corin said. "A real life fugitive!" He took another bite of bread. "You must have so many stories to tell!"

Talia only stared back, fascinated with the Prince.

"Here, Talia." Saedra put down a plate of food in front of her, and Talia's eyes opened ever wider at all of the food. After looking around and seeing the others eating their food, she tentatively took an apple and ate it happily.

Corin was still mesmerized with Talia being a fugitive. "So do you think your master will come up looking for you?"

Talia still didn't answer so Saedra said, "We hope not. Her master was Prince Rabadash."

"Rabadash! Wow!"

Talia had finished nibbling at her croissant and put it down on her plate.

"Aren't you hungry?" Saedra asked.

Talia shook her head and looked back over at Corin.

"Corin, why don't you show Talia here the deck?" Edmund suggested. "Would you like that, Talia?"

Talia nodded, a smile starting to break through.

"Well then, let's go," Corin said, completely forgetting his food and running around the table. He grabbed her hand and practically dragged her out the door.

"Don't do anything foolish!" Edmund called after him a second before the door slammed. He chuckled. "I hope he doesn't get her into mischief. She looks like she'd do anything he said she should."

"Well, she _is_ used to taking orders. Prince Corin's a good boy, though. I trust him enough not to tell her to do anything unwise."

Edmund snorted. "I'm not sure I do."

She laughed. "Of course, you were never mischievous as a child…"

"Hey, hey, hey!" he protested. "I only teased you once, and after that I never did anything to you again!"

"I think putting a snake on my head is worse than anything Corin has done yet!" she pointed out.

"Well, I sure got what was coming to me, and that's what Corin needs," Edmund laughed.

"I don't think I will scare him if I yell at him, Ed."

"That's true…you aren't half as scary now as you were then," he grinned evilly. "Maybe it's because you've gotten a little prettier since then."

"Or maybe it's because you're taller than me now," she smirked. "You were always afraid of people bigger than you."

"Ah ha ha!" he said, standing up. "Is that so?"

She stood up and eyed him cautiously. "Yes, that's so."

He laughed and started running around the long table to get her, but she shrieked like a school girl and ran to the opposite end so that the table was still between them. They paused, laughing.

"You're pretty fast for a girl," he taunted.

"You're pretty fast…for an old man!" she said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Who are you calling old? You're older than me!"

"Only by two years!"

Edmund laughed and lunged to one side of the table. Saedra instantly started running on the other side he had been aiming for, but he suddenly switched so that they were headed towards the same spot. She shrieked again and turned the other way.

He was less than half the table length away from her when the door opened. In the doorway was Susan, and when she saw Edmund and Saedra running around the room her jaw dropped.

"What in the world are you doing?"

They both stopped and looked at each other, grinning.

"Playing tag?" Edmund volunteered.

Susan was looking at them back and forth suspiciously. "I see Prince Corin and Talia talking outside all nice and quiet-like, and then I come in here and you two are acting like children!"

Edmund and Saedra just cackled. It was deliciously naughty to be playing around with someone her age. Saedra didn't feel as if she were the "mature" age of twenty-three, rather she felt a decade younger-if only for a brief instant. She'd missed this feeling.

"It was a pleasure having breakfast with you, my Lady," Edmund bowed to Saedra. "But I fear I have other business to attend to."

Saedra held out her hand for him to kiss, and he did so dramatically.

"Thank you, kind Sir. I shall continue dining with Queen Susan here."

Edmund bowed to Susan while trying to stifle a silly grin and left the room. Susan and Saedra watched him go.

"What's gotten into him?" Susan wondered. "I haven't seen him act that silly since we were children!"

Saedra smirked. "Oh, we were just having a little fun. You know, reminiscing about the good old days." Her stomach growled then, and she realized that she hadn't eaten much of anything yet. "Shall we have some breakfast?"

Susan continued to look at her curiously while they ate until they were joined by the other Narnians. When Peridan sat near them, Susan asked, "Are we safe yet?"

"Your Majesty, we were safe the moment we left Tashbaan. Nothing can catch us on this ship."

When she saw Susan's great relief, Saedra fully appreciated how worried her friend had been about being forced into marriage with Rabadash. She had been so concerned with Talia that she hadn't really thought about the implications if they were caught, besides the fact that Talia would be killed for running away.

The rest of the meal was light-hearted, for everyone was happy to be out of the heat of Calormen and headed north to cooler areas. The passengers spent the day on the boat deck or in their quarters, talking excitedly about what they would do when they got back home. The morale on the ship was very high and the days went by fast.

* * *

The evening before they reached Cair Paravel, Saedra stood on the west side of the ship over the galley, watching the sunset. She had been thinking about Peter, worried about seeing him. Down in Tashbaan it had been easy to shove him to the back of her mind, but now that she was headed north, it was highly likely she would see him.

_Unless he is still fighting the Giants, _she reminded herself. _You might be able to avoid him if you leave Narnia before he finishes up there. _For some reason, the thought of _not _seeing him didn't make her any happier.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" a voice said behind her.

She turned, startled, and saw that it was Edmund, standing with his hands clasped behind his back. "How long have you been standing there?"

"A couple of minutes," he shrugged, walking over and leaning against the railing. "You must have been deep in thought."

Saedra laughed uneasily. "Yes, I was…"

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Saedra paused, thinking. She trusted Edmund—perhaps more than she trusted anyone else in the world. He would have good insight into Peter's actions…But if she told Edmund how she really felt about Peter then Peter may find out.

"I don't know," she finally said. "It's about Peter."

Edmund didn't say anything for a long while, and she wondered if he had heard her. Finally he said, "If you want to talk about it, I'm here."

She turned her head and looked at him, and he looked up from where he was perched. A look of understanding passed between them and Saedra swallowed to clear her throat. In a low voice she summarized the whole episode with Peter from beginning to end. Edmund listened the whole time, watching the sun sink around the western edge of the world.

"…and now, I don't know what to do. I feel like I don't ever want to see him again, but then in another way I want to," Saedra said, blurting out what she hadn't wanted to admit to herself earlier. It was so easy to talk to Edmund. "I'm just so confused…Even if he doesn't want anything romantic with me, I would still like to be his friend, but now I don't think he even wants that anymore."

Edmund stood up and faced her. "Do you love him?"

"I don't know. I thought I did, but how can I love someone who treats me this way? I have too much pride and self-respect for that!"

With a new thought, she glanced at the young man standing next to her: the thoughtful, darker brother, and a fleeting thought crossed her mind that maybe...just maybe...she'd invested her affections in the wrong King.

"Okay, if you knew that he loved you and did what he did for a noble reason, would you marry him?"

Saedra swallowed and looked up into Edmund's dark eyes. "I don't know. If he ever asked…maybe…"

He turned away and walked to the railing above the galley's door. She was worried at first that he was upset, but he turned around with a calm expression.

"I think everything will work out, Sae. I can't say anything more than that, but things will work themselves out."

"That's pretty vague, Ed," Saedra said. "I don't want you to go be a matchmaker or some rot like that!" Perhaps she'd said too much; the thought of him interfering disturbed her more than she'd anticipated.

"I know," he said with a sympathetic expression. "But trust me. I think things will be fine when all of this blows over."

She desperately wanted to ask "Until _what_ blows over?" but she could see that Edmund wouldn't say. _He is probably in someone else's confidence too and doesn't want to betray them, _she thought.

Edmund's words that evening were both reassuring and worrisome to her. Yet she was almost hoping to see Peter when they reached Cair Paravel.

Those hopes were dashed the instant they got into port, however. When they pulled up to the dock, someone was waiting for them. It was a stag.

"Chervy!" Edmund exclaimed as he walked down the plank. "What is that expression on your face about? Are you not happy that we have returned?"

"I am indeed glad your Majesties have returned, and it's not a moment too soon. We've just received word that Prince Rabadash and two hundred Calormene horsemen are on their way to attack Anvard, and may even be there this very moment!"


	16. Battle at Anvard

**Battle at Anvard**

* * *

"Rabadash is attacking Anvard?" Edmund repeated.

All of the Narnians aboard the _Splendor Hyaline _had been lulled into a false sense of security, as if their escape from Tashbaan meant that they would have no more problems from down south. Apparently, they had been wrong.

"Yes, your Majesty," Chervy the Stag nodded gravely. "I received word directly from a boy that crossed the border from Archenland to warn us. Queen Lucy has been gathering troops ever since she found out, and we are amassing quite an army."

"From a boy? That's quite odd," Edmund said thoughtfully. "Well, I thank you, Chervy. Tell my sister Queen Lucy, that we've arrived and are ready and willing to fight, and will be up to the palace as soon as possible."

"To hear is to obey, your Majesty," the Stag bowed, then ran up in the direction of the castle.

Edmund turned to the crowd that had now gathered on the ship. "Friends, we have not been away from Calormen for a week and yet we have trouble from them again." He relayed the news about Rabadash's attack. "Not only is there the obvious danger to our friends in Archenland, a threat has arisen to the safety to all Narnians. If Prince Rabadash conquers Archenland, he will be in the doorway of attacking Narnia. Therefore, all the fighting men and beasts among you gather your weapons and we shall go to aid our neighbors. We will ride for Anvard at first light tomorrow!"

Cheering erupted on deck. Edmund dismissed them, and the crowd dispersed. Edmund walked over to Saedra where she was standing holding Talia's hand. "I fear your return to Archenland has been delayed once again, Sae."

"Whatever do you mean?" Saedra asked, surprised. "Surely you didn't think I would wait up in Narnia while you go down and fight!"

"That was exactly what was in my mind," Edmund replied, putting his hand on her arm. "I don't want you to expose yourself to unnecessary danger, Saedra."

"Nonsense! I cannot allow you to go down and fight for my country while I stay up here," she said emphatically, shaking her head.

"Saedra, please-" Edmund started, but seeing Susan walk over, he decided another approach. "Susan, talk sense to Sae. She thinks she's going down to fight in battle."

Susan raised her eyebrows. "You said yourself that Saedra was as good as any man in battle. Besides, Lucy is no doubt going to fight herself. What's your objection?"

Edmund looked up at the sky in annoyance and said, "You're not helping at all. Saedra-"

"Edmund, listen to me," Saedra said firmly. "You need all the help you can get since most of the fighters in Narnia are up with Peter fighting the Giants. Even more importantly, I believe that I care what happens to Archenland even more than you do since it is, after all, my home. It would be cowardly to stay up here while letting the Narnians risk their lives for my country."

"But what will we do with Talia during the battle?" he asked, gesturing at Talia. "And Prince Corin?"

"Lucy could watch Talia back with the archers," Susan volunteered. "She wouldn't mind at all."

"And we could find someone to watch over Prince Corin and make sure he stays out of battle," Saedra added.

Edmund sighed, unable to stand up to Saedra _and _Susan at the same time. "It'll take a sturdy person to accomplish that, if I know the Prince at all. All right, Saedra, you win. Let us go up and get our things ready."

The rest of the day was spent getting ready for battle, while Chervy and a few others went around the immediate mainland and gathered up fighters. The host they found was considerable, so that when they left Cair Paravel the next day there was a great mass going with them, even more than they had hoped for. Apparently the news of Rabadash's actions toward the beloved Queen Susan fired them up enough to volunteer for battle.

Peridan led on horse carrying the banner of Narnia, followed by Edmund, Saedra (with Talia riding behind her on the same horse-the poor thing was holding onto the Duchess for dear life, having never ridden before), and Lucy, all on horses. Corin kept up on a pony, and behind him were centaurs, Dogs, Giants, Bears, Dwarves, and large Cats of all kinds. All were suited up for battle with mail-shirts and helmets, with weapons hanging from their belts.

They rode southwest at a fast clip for a few hours and were nearing the pass into Archenland when Edmund called out, "Now, friends! Time for a halt and a morsel!" They happened to stop near some Animals, Dwarves, and a human boy that had gathered to watch the procession.

Saedra dismounted along with the others and helped Talia down gingerly. Talia was already sore, even though the Talking Horse they were riding (Lynn was her name) had been considerate and had walked as smoothly as possible. Saedra pulled down their food sack and handed a roll and water-skin to Talia, and then took some for herself.

Suddenly Corin, who had just gotten off of his horse, ran up to the boy that was watching their procession with awe. "What!_ You _here!"

He continued rattling on, and Edmund and Saedra exchanged glances and walked up to the boys. Lucy followed them when she saw that their interest was caught in something.

"Who is your Highness's friend?" Edmund asked.

"Don't you see, Sire?" Corin said. "It's my double: the boy you mistook me for at Tashbaan."

The boys were indeed very similar, except for the fact that Corin was clothed in royal clothes, more healthy-looking and was missing a tooth. The boy had the same gaunt look about him as Talia-the look of a slave.

"Why, so he is your double!" exclaimed Lucy, then looked at Saedra with wide eyes. "As like as two twins. This is a marvelous thing."

"Please, your Majesty," said the boy to Edmund, "I was no traitor, really I wasn't. And I couldn't help hearing your plans. But I'd never have dreamed of telling them to your enemies."

"I know that you are no traitor, boy," Edmund said, laying his hand on his head. "But if you would not be taken for one, another time try not to hear what is meant for other's ears. But all's well."

Saedra went back a little ways to where Talia was standing and eating, trying to think of what nagging in her mind the boy had prompted. "How are you getting along, Talia?"

"Fine, my Lady," she said, curtsying while she ate.

"Child, will you never stop calling me that?"

Talia looked up at her shyly. "It isn't my place."

"Well, I am making it your place. And I will be offended from this moment forward if you don't call me Saedra," she said decisively, but smiled. After a pause, she asked, "Have you given any thought to what you will do now that you're free?"

"No, my-I mean, Saedra. I don't really know what to do now."

"I ask because I have been thinking...Talia, how would you like to come and live with me? I live on the Winding Arrow River right next to the sea in an old castle, and I think you might like it there."

The little girl's face lit up. "Really? Might I be your servant there?"

Saedra laughed out loud. "No, dear, I was even thinking of adopting you as my daughter!" Then she suddenly looked unsure of herself. "That is, if you want me to. I know I'm young to be your mother, but I think we'd get along nicely."

Talia's mouth was hanging open. "Me? Your daughter! I couldn't imagine...I mean, it's so strange...you are too kind!"

Saedra mistook Talia's reaction and said, "Well, it was just a thought. It's fine if you don't want to, really. You don't owe it to me or anything."

"No, no! I want to, yes, I do very much. It's just that you are too kind...it's really too much! First you save me from Prince Rabadash (and that's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me, you know) and now your daughter..." Talia looked ready to explode with happiness, so she just rushed over and threw her arms around Saedra's waist.

Shocked that Talia had said so much at one time and not used to being hugged by children, Saedra was unsure of what to do. She decided that patting the girl's back would be appropriate and proceeded to do so when Lucy came over.

"Thornbut the Dwarf is unable to fight. He turned his ankle," Lucy announced in an exasperated voice.

Talia kept holding onto Saedra, but moved so that her face was visible. She looked up at Lucy happily, yet shyly.

"What happened to him?" Saedra asked. "Wasn't he the one that Ed was going to assign to watch Prince Corin and make sure that he was staying out of battle?"

"Yes, he was. Apparently he and the Prince got into a little argument and Thornbut stepped on a rock." She looked back to where Corin and the other boy were talking and said, "But that isn't what I came over to talk about. When you met that boy that looks so much like Corin, you had a strange look on your face. I mean, we all did, because it is very odd, but you looked like you were remembering something."

"I was," Saedra replied. "There was something that nagged me about the boy and Corin. They're obviously alike as twins, and something stuck a cord in my memory...something from my youth. I remember hearing murmurings about a battle when I was perhaps ten years old that had to do with King Lune's newborn son-or sons?-or something! I'm not sure, but I do believe that boy may be his brother! I know I sound crazy."

"Indeed! I had never heard of that, but it sounds like it was before we became rulers of Narnia," Lucy said, glancing back at the boys. "They look to be getting along fine. Prince Corin seems to be encouraging him to come along, so I had better check with Ed and see when we'll keep moving."

Lucy went back to the front where Peridan and Edmund were talking, and a few minutes later Edmund announced that they would keep moving. They kept going until Saedra knew that they were near Anvard. The sound of pounding steadily grew louder, indicating that Rabadash was still trying to break down Anvard's gate, even though the Narnians were days behind them. Edmund ordered a halt, and the soldiers suited up in their armor. Lucy took Talia to watch over her, and Saedra looked back down the lines again to make sure that Corin was still with them and out of trouble. From what she could see he looked fine, so she went back up to the front.

After a lot of rearranging the ranks and strategizing (wherein Edmund ordered that Saedra be at _least_ in the third line from the front, and no farther up), they went on their way again and crossed the ridge that lay between them and Anvard.

As they climbed the hill, Saedra had a sudden thought. "Ed? Say we meet someone that we partied with in Tashbaan in battle…what then?"

He turned around with a wry look on his face, "Comment on what a great time you had dancing with them and then chop their heads off."

"Edmund!" Lucy exclaimed but laughed along with Peridan who was within hearing distance.

Saedra, however, didn't laugh, for suddenly she had a terrible thought: _What if Cradish or Abrastan are fighting?_ She didn't know the customs or if they would be considered too old to fight. _They have to be too old, _she decided, and tried to push those thoughts out of her mind.

Her guess that they were too old was correct, because when they topped the ridge they could see the whole Calormene host below them. The horsemen that were standing around waiting for the battering ram to break down the gate were in their prime of life, so Saedra decided that there was no way Cradish or Abrastan would be among them. The thought cheered her a little.

When the Calormenes saw the Narnians, they swiftly mounted their horses and wheeled around to meet them. Edmund lifted his sword and jerked it forward, and Saedra kicked her horse to keep up with the rest of the army that was speeding up to meet the Calormenes. Thirty gut-wrenching seconds passed as the armies ran at each other, weapons raised and shields aloft, and yelling their battle cry.

The first time Saedra clashed swords with a Tarkaan, she was nearly knocked off her horse from the weight of it, and it took her a second to recover. But she learned her lesson from that blow, and knew better than to fight using strength, because most females are not as strong as men. Her advantage was her quickness and wrist movements, and from that moment on she used it to her advantage.

Many a Tarkaan showed surprise in the middle of a fight with her when he realized that he was fighting a woman; then he would grit his teeth, determined to take her down. But the opposite happened every time: whenever the man went into a frenzy, determined to unseat this woman who mocked him by even having skill, he would get careless with his imprecise hacking. Saedra would take advantage of that and stab them in an unprotected spot.

During all of this, she was unaware of what was going on around her. She did not even know that the battle was over until the last Tarkaan she was fighting dropped his sword and lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender with a look of loathing. When that happened, she looked around and realized that the battle was over, the field littered with dead Calormenes and some Narnian bodies. The Narnian survivors far outnumbered the Calormene survivors.

Just then the gates opened, and King Lune came out and greeted Edmund. Saedra went over to Lune and curtsied, though it was a ridiculous curtsey indeed. Curtsies are meant to be feminine and genteel, but covered in blood-soaked armor and carrying a sword was hardly considered lady-like, so the whole sight was absurd.

"Duchess!" Lune exclaimed. "What in the name of—"

He never got to finish what he was saying, because a sound of laughter had been growing around them and was now too loud to ignore. Lune turned around and they saw what the laughter had been about: Rabadash was hanging from a post in the wall from his armor and was unable to get down. He looked incredibly silly, for his armor was hiked up to his mouth.

"Let me down, Edmund!" howled the Prince. "Let me down and fight me like a king and a man; or if you are too great a coward to do that, kill me at once!"

"Certainly," Edmund started eagerly, but Lune intervened and pointed out that there was no honor in killing Rabadash while he was in this state. He then ordered Rabadash taken away so that they could decide what to do with him later. Rabadash made a spectacle of himself as he was dragged out, even resorting to crying, and Saedra marveled how Susan could have ever found it in her heart to fancy the man.

"So now, my Lady," Lune said, turning back to Saedra with a happy look on his face. "Where is that son of mine?"

"Here I am, Father!" Corin said, running up while holding the other boy's hand.

Saedra was instantly embarrassed, because despite Edmund's orders, by the looks of him the boy had clearly been in battle.

_I should have known better, _she chided herself. She had hoped that Corin learned his lesson on obedience in Tashbaan, but that was evidently _not_ the case.

"I see your Highness went to battle despite our warnings," she said disapprovingly.

"Aye, here thou art at last," Lune said gruffly, though there was a twinkle in his eye. "And hast been in battle, clean contrary to your obedience. A boy to break a father's heart! At thy age a rod to your breech were fitter than a sword in thy fist, ha!"

"Chide him no more, Sire, if you please," said Lord Darrin, a man ten years Saedra's senior whom she knew to be sensible and kind (at one point they had tried courting, but there had been no exceptional chemistry between them and now they were simply friends). "His Highness would not be your son if he did not inherit your conditions. It would grieve your Majesty more if he had to be reproved for the opposite fault."

"Well, well," grumbled the King, even though it was obvious he was still pleased. "We'll pass over it this time. And now..." The King went over and embraced the other boy, the one who was Corin's double.

For Saedra's memory had been correct, if not precise. There _had_ been a battle in the past where the boy, Corin's twin (Cor was his name), was kidnapped. He ended up being raised in Tashbaan as little more than a slave and eventually ran away to the North.

Cor looked bewildered at all of the cheering that sprung up around him, and it wasn't until sometime later that he completely understood what all the fuss was about.

Lucy came up to Saedra with Talia in tow as the Narnians filed into the castle through the doors. "You survived, Saedra!"

Saedra laughed. "Don't sound so surprised! Ed made sure that I wouldn't see the worst of it."

"Still, I saw you down there among them. The fighting was brutal! How many did you kill?"

Saedra looked sheepish, proud of what she had done but too shy to brag. "Honestly, I lost count after seven, but it can't be much more than that."

"I would congratulate you with a hug, but I don't think I want to get blood all over me," Lucy laughed, and Talia tittered at her side. "Shall we go in and celebrate? There's bound to be a good feast tonight!"

"Yes, let's," Saedra said, then smiled down at Talia and took her other hand. The three of them went into the castle to much-deserved rest.

* * *

After taking long, warm baths and dressing themselves in clean clothes that the servants provided, Saedra, Lucy, and Talia went down to dinner that evening. And what dinner it was! All of the Archenlanders and Narnians were in high spirits after the utter defeat and humiliation of Prince Rabadash and were in the mood for a celebration. The party was held in the great hall, and it was a merry party.

Saedra spent most of her time talking with Lune, Edmund, Lucy, Darrin, and Peridan, and they had a good time catching each other up on what had been going on in the past few months. Edmund and Saedra told the others about their visit to Calormen, and the Archenlanders told Saedra all the latest gossip from the court that she had missed. She had not been this happy in a long time, and it felt wonderful to be in Archenland in a castle that felt like a second home to her.

Corin, meanwhile, was having the time of his life. Not only did he learn that he would not have to be king anymore since Cor was minutes older than him, but he had a new audience: Cor and Talia. Cor loved hearing about what it had been like growing up in Archenland, and Talia just sat there giggling at Corin's jokes and antics.

The party ended when the people were too fatigued to sit up, and Lucy, Saedra, and Talia went up to bed in the chambers provided for them.

The next day was even more interesting, for while Saedra and Talia were talking and enjoying the sunshine on the balcony in their room, Lucy came in with another girl.

The girl was perhaps thirteen years old and obviously Calormene, wearing the remnants of a finely-made Tarkaan's outfit. She was pretty and had long, curly black hair. She had the look of someone who had been brought up very well, because even though she looked timid in her new surroundings, she held her head high.

"Saedra, Talia," Lucy said pleasantly, "This is Aravis. She came up with Prince Cor and two Talking Horses all the way up from Tashbaan!"

Saedra smiled and went over to greet Aravis. "A pleasure to meet you! What has brought you up to Narnia?"

Aravis smiled back and rolled her eyes. "An arranged marriage has brought me up here. I don't know if you know anything about the Grand Vizier of Calormen, but I was his betrothed."

Understanding filled Saedra's face. "I do know him. So _you _are the one he was betrothed to! I thought your name sounded familiar...what a small world it is!"

"Then you know why I ran away," Aravis replied. "Any self-respecting female would never marry that groveling man."

Saedra chuckled. "Unless you have a deep respect for the poets."

Aravis appreciated the joke and grinned, and so did Talia behind Saedra.

"Aravis, let me introduce Talia to you," Saedra said, motioning for Talia to join them. "Talia has recently escaped from Tashbaan herself."

"Oh, really!" Aravis said to Talia. "You look young to be getting married, so what was your reason?"

"She worked in the palace," Saedra said gravely, knowing Aravis would know what that implied.

Over the next hour, the two women and two girls got acquainted after Aravis cleaned herself up. Aravis told them about her adventure coming north and Saedra told Aravis about her visit in Tashbaan. Talia had become a little more talkative under Saedra's watch and would occasionally contribute to the conversation. Time flew by until a servant came in and said, "Queen Lucy, Duchess Saedra, King Lune requests your presence downstairs. Lunch is being served."

The four of them went downstairs to a cold lunch on the veranda with a great view of the southern mountains. The men were already down there, but Lune had reserved a seat on each side of him for Saedra and Lucy, but Saedra said to Aravis, "How about you sit with the King while I sit with Talia on the other side?" and Aravis liked that idea very much.

The lunch was pleasant until the talk turned to Rabadash and what to do with him. The men bantered back and forth about what to do, and many options were thrown around. In the end, they decided that they would give the Prince a second chance and Lune called for him to be brought before them.

When Rabadash was brought out in chains, Saedra thought to herself, _I don't think I've ever seen him look worse! _He looked like he had spent the night in a dungeon instead of the comfortable accommodations that she knew had been provided for him. He was sulking and looked like he had been up pacing all night.

When Lune stated the conditions by which he would be set free, Rabadash snarled, "Curse you for a barbarian dog! Do you think I will even hear your conditions? Faugh! Take off these vile bonds, give me a sword, and let any of you who dares then debate with me!"

Just then he spotted Saedra with Talia behind her, watching her former captor with wide eyes. "Thief! Vagabond! That Northern bitch has stolen my slave girl!"

The men sprung to their feet in anger, and Corin hopped up and down, yelling, "Father! Can I box him? Please!"

Lune calmed the men and hollered at Corin to be seated before attempting to present Rabadash with the conditions again. Rabadash started yelling again, saying something about a bolt from Tash falling from above (to which Corin had a smart remark, "Does it ever get caught on a hook halfway?" and Talia giggled incessantly despite being scared of Rabadash).

He was rambling on when suddenly Saedra saw something behind him. She stood up along with the others to see what or who it was. When she could get a clear line of vision, she saw that it was a lion. _The_ Lion: Aslan.

Saedra had never seen Aslan before, and she had half-believed him a fairy tale, but there was no doubt about his existence now as he walked between their table and Rabadash.

"Rabadash," said he, "take heed. Your doom is very near, but you may be able to avoid it."

The Prince was not listening, however. Instead, he was making ridiculous faces that may have scared young slaves like Talia back in Tashbaan, but were utterly laughable in another country. When no one responded to his faces, he shrieked, "Demon! Demon! Demon! I know you! Learn who _I_ am, horrible phantasm. I am descended from Tash, the Inexorable, the Irresistible-"

"Have a care, Rabadash," Aslan said softly. "The doom is nearer: it is at the door; it has opened the latch." Rabadash continued screaming, and Aslan continued, "The hour has struck!"

At that moment, Rabadash's ears began to lengthen. And not only did his ears grow, but his face lengthened and turned into that of a donkey. The rest of his body followed, until there was nothing to indicate that he had _ever_ been anything other than a donkey. Rabadash's cries turned into brays, and the laughter from the tables was uncontrollable.

The observers suppressed themselves only to hear Aslan say, "Now hear me, Rabadash. Justice shall be mixed with mercy. You will not always be an Ass."

At that, Rabadash twitched his ears and the onlookers burst into laughter once more. And no one laughed harder than little Talia.


	17. Home, Sweet Home

**Home, Sweet Home**

* * *

"So, dear Duchess, we finally get to speak face-to-face!" King Lune said, sitting down behind his desk.

He and Saedra were in his personal office: a huge, spacious room that was lined with books from the floor to the high ceiling. Saedra was seated in front of his large wooden desk with her hands folded in her lap. The excitement with Rabadash the day before had died down, and many Narnians had already started returning home, so she had decided to take advantage of the peace to visit King Lune in the late afternoon, when the castle was most quiet.

"Yes, it has been far too long, Sire. If I may, I have a question for your Majesty. Rather, a few questions...things I don't understand," she replied. "They are about my mother, Lalevis."

"Pray, I know not whether I would be able to tell thee anything that thy father could not," Lune said. "But do tell."

"That is just it, your Majesty. Father told me nothing of my mother. The only reason I know anything about her is because of our enemies to the south, and I came to see if you know why, Sire. You were, after all, a close friend with my father."

"Aye, that I was. Dane Harden was the best of men," Lune said, nodding. "But to answer thy question, I knowest not why. I'd no idea until now that Dane had been so secretive with thee." He stroked his chin. "No, I do not know why, my Lady."

"Do you remember anything about my mother, Sire?"

"Yes, yes, how could one forget her? The sweetest thing thee ever saw. A little shy at first, what with being new to the country and still in her youth, but she seemed happy and Dane loved her," he smiled. "I knewest not her personally well, for she was only up here a few years before she died."

Saedra nodded.

"Whom did thou meet down in Tashbaan that would inspire such inquiries?" he asked curiously.

"My mother's family," Saedra admitted. "I didn't mention it before because it didn't seem appropriate to talk about it in large company."

"I completely understand, my Lady! I would not speak of my dear late wife so casually either. And what now that thou art back? What art thy plans now?"

"I will go home and rest, oh King. Within the week we will leave. I bring back with me the girl Talia, and I've decided that I will make her my daughter and future heir."

Lune raised his eyebrows. "Oh? A brave move, is it not?"

"In what way, your Majesty?" she asked.

"Making a slave girl thou doesn't know into a duchess' heir. Thou art very trusting."

"Your Majesty, I sense no deviousness from her, only the innocence of childhood. But all the same, Sire, while I'm adopting her officially now, I'm not naming her heir right away. My current heir is my regent, Gilda, who has been kind enough to fill my place during my absence. If anything happens to Gilda before I die, I'll know enough of Talia's character to see if she's right for the post. Otherwise it would be Gilda's choice."

"A wise idea, my Lady, even though some other nobles haven't been pleased that thou hast put servants in such high positions," the King agreed, and hastily added, "And let me say now that no one is here to distract me that I'm happy that thou hast come back. We have missed thy visits. Thou must come for the Winter Festival if business requires thee to stay away long. Especially now that Lady Aravis has come, there is more reason for thee to come by."

"I will, Your Majesty," she promised.

"And now, on to the question that I have for thee, my Lady," he said. "Thou indicated that thyself and the High King Peter had formed an attraction."

"Oh!" Saedra almost squeaked. _How do I handle this delicately? _she wondered. "Well…"

"I see by the color in thy cheeks that thou hast feelings for the good King," Lune said keenly. "Good, good. Such an alliance would be great for our two countries. Such a marriage hasn't been seen in many a century."

"Your Majesty," she protested, "I may have been hasty with my conjecture about any such alliance."

"Nonsense, nonsense." He waved his hand. "Do continue to encourage the King. I'm sure we'll have an engagement by the end of the year, based on your letters!"

Saedra didn't have the heart to let down the excited King, so she didn't press the matter. _Boy, will he be disappointed when nothing happens! _

"How long will it take us to get to Harden?" Talia asked as they waited in the stables for their horses to be saddled up. It was very early morning a week after they had arrived in Anvard, and Saedra felt that it was time that they got home. They had said their goodbyes the night before.

"If we leave soon, we should be there before nightfall," Saedra replied. She was very sleepy since she was not a morning person, but excitement started to fill her as she thought of being home in her warm bed…with her library…back with her old governess Gilda.

"Duchess!" a voice called out excitedly.

They turned towards the entrance to the stable and saw Corin running up (they knew it was Corin and not Cor because he was missing his front tooth.)

Talia's face lit up with happiness when she saw him and she exclaimed, "Prince Corin!" This was the first time Saedra had ever heard her say anything to him in her presence.

"King Edmund sent me down to tell you that he and Queen Lucy are coming to see you off," he said, panting.

"Thank you, Prince," Saedra said, and went over to the horses to attach their bags to the saddles.

"I do hope you will come and visit like you promised Aravis you would," Corin said to Talia. "It won't be as fun when there's only the three of us here."

"Saedra said that we'll be back for the Winter Festival," Talia said.

"But that's half a year away! You must come sooner, or I shall be very cross."

Saedra walked back to them, saying dryly, "There's nothing we fear more than to see you cross, dear Prince." She looked up and smiled when the daylight was blocked in the doorway. "Edmund! Lucy!"

Lucy rushed over and hugged her. "I know we said goodbye last night, but we had to be here to see you off."

"I am glad you did," Saedra smiled. "I'll miss you dearly."

"I wish we had had more time together since you got back from Calormen," Lucy pouted. "Ed and Su got to spend all the time with you down south."

"That's because Sae loves us best," Edmund teased, coming over and embracing Saedra. After a long moment, he pulled back slightly and looked at her seriously. "Write us, Sae."

"I will," she promised, then went onto her tip-toes and kissed Edmund's cheek. "Goodbye, Ed."

She released him, and he helped her onto her horse. Lucy had been hugging Talia, and she released her so that Edmund could pick her up and put her on the other horse.

"Have a nice trip, Talia. It was a pleasure to meet you," Edmund said nicely.

"Thank you, your Majesty," Talia said sweetly.

They all said their final goodbyes, and Saedra and Talia rode out into the early sunlight. For the past couple of days Lucy and Saedra had been teaching Talia how to ride a horse, and she had picked up the basics quickly; she was a very smart girl. They passed over the grassy field outside the palace and onto a worn path that appeared at the edge of the trees as the land began to slope upward.

"So, Talia," Saedra said. "We've hardly had a moment alone since we came here! What do you think of Archenland? Do you think you will like it here?"

"Oh, I like it very much!" she replied. "Prince Corin was very obliging, and he was nice enough to show Prince Cor and Aravis and me around the place."

Saedra chuckled, pleased that the girl was being so open and talking more. Some of Corin's spunkiness had apparently rubbed off on her, for during the past week the two had been inseparable.

"How do you like Aravis?"

"She's very pleasant, much more pleasant than I remembered."

"Than you remember?" Saedra asked.

"Oh, I once was her servant when her family visited the Tisroc," Talia said casually.

Saedra thought it very odd that Talia could be so relaxed about serving as a slave the person who was now her friend and equal. "She wasn't as nice then?"

"Oh, no. She was like the rest of the Tarkheenas that I served, and they were all terribly bossy."

Saedra could not fathom the life of a slave and pitied Talia. "We have a few servants at Harden, but not nearly as many as the Tisroc has. At home we usually clean our own rooms and dress ourselves. We do have some people who cook and clean, but they're paid."

"What's the castle like?"

"It is on a cliff that overlooks the Bight of Calormen. The castle faces the sea, and to the right is the delta where the Winding Arrow flows into the ocean." Saedra smiled to herself, thinking back. "I used to play on the delta when I was little, because it gets very shallow there from all of the deposits sometimes. It's like a sandy beach with lots of streams flowing through it."

"Is the castle big?"

"Oh, yes. In some ways it is more like a watchtower because that's what it used to be in olden times. It has many towers all over it, and I used to get lost in the building because it has many winding passages. It can seem like a maze. It would have been the perfect place for a game of hide-and-seek if I'd had anyone to play with."

"Why didn't you have anyone to play with?" Talia asked with a sad expression on her face.

"I was the only child living in the whole palace. The only people who lived there besides me and Father were Gilda my nurse, Lord Reine and other grown-up advisors to my Father, and servants. The province has lots of farmers in the area that are under the castle's governance, but Father wouldn't let me play with the farm children."

* * *

The sun was already behind the western mountains when Saedra announced, "We're home!" The forest abruptly ended, and the road continued to wind up around boulders that dotted the steep hill in front of them. Atop the hill sat a castle made of grey rock. It wasn't nearly as grand or large as Anvard, but it was much older and looked like it had been atop that hill since the beginning of time. Behind the castle were the ocean and a pink-colored sky.

"This was the home of the first king of Archenland," Saedra said as they nudged their horses up the steep incline.

"Then why does King Lune live at Anvard?" Talia asked.

"When Archenland started getting bigger and the inhabitants started spreading out, it was necessary for a more centralized capital. So they built Anvard in the middle of the country and an easy distance from Narnia."

Saedra continued telling Talia about the history of Archenland as they climbed. When they reached the open gates, a male servant spotted Saedra and instantly went over to help her down from her horse. "Your Ladyship! You're home!"

"Hello, Talan," she smiled. She dismounted and then looked around the empty stone-paved courtyard. As Talia was helped down, she asked the servant, "Talan, where is everybody? It seems so quiet around here." Usually the courtyard would be a bustling marketplace where farmers would sell their goods, but there was not a stand or soul in sight.

He looked at the ground and then over towards the east side of the castle. "Many servants have been dismissed and-"

Saedra's eyes widened. "Dismissed? What do you mean, _dismissed_?"

"Lord Reine-with the permission of Lady Gilda, of course-fired many of the servants."

"And why would he do that?" Saedra said pointedly, clearly angered.

"I don't know for sure, my Lady, but there have been rumors of financial troubles..."

"Thank you, Talan. Please bring the horses to the stables and see that they receive the best of care. Oh, and have my things delivered to my rooms. Talia, come with me." Saedra grabbed Talia's hand and practically dragged her through the front doors of the building.

_What was Reine thinking? _she fumed. _He knows how I feel about letting people go!_

The inside of the castle was as empty as the outside had been, and without all of the people it seemed rather gloomy. As Saedra stormed up the grand staircase, a middle-aged woman rushed down to greet them. She had greying blonde hair, blue eyes, and was wearing simple but fine clothes.

"Saedra! My goodness, I am glad you're here! Nina just told me you arrived."

"Gilda!" Saedra released Talia and hugged her former governess. She quickly introduced Talia before demanding, "What's been going on around here?"

Gilda looked around before leaning in and saying, "Not here," and motioning for Saedra to follow her. They finished climbing the stairs and went down the second-floor's main hallway that led to Saedra's office. Gilda opened the door, motioned them inside, and shut the door behind them.

Saedra's office was large with a high ceiling with a large window that faced the eastern ocean, with smaller windows on either side. In front of the window was a desk that was piled with papers. There were some couches along the wall that were used if she had a meeting, and on the walls were large paintings of previous dukes and duchesses that had lived in the castle.

"Talia, have a seat. You must be exhausted from the journey. Gilda, could you get Tina to fetch us some tea and dinner? We haven't had a decent meal since this morning." Saedra started walking around to sit at her desk.

"Uh...Tina doesn't work here anymore," Gilda said guiltily. "She was one of the many that Reine let go. I understand Talan mentioned that to you."

Saedra's eyes blazed, and whipped around. "How could he let Tina go? She was my personal assistant! He has no right under any circumstance to let her go!"

"He felt you were paying her too much," she shrugged. "He did have a point...she was paid an extreme amount for a servant—as were all of the servants who worked here."

"She deserved every pence!" Saedra snapped, not at all happy that Gilda was taking Lord Reine's side on this. "She gives everything that she earns to her family, and you know how poor they were before I hired her! They haven't been able to grow anything ever since the Calormenes raked their land with salt."

"That's true, but-"

"Where's Reine? I want to talk to him."

"He's down seeing how the wall is coming along, now that the workers are done for the day."

Saedra closed her eyes, took a breath, and then opened them slowly. "What _wall_?" she growled.

Gilda looked more uneasy than ever. "You didn't see it? He's building a wall on the east side of the building."

Saedra didn't reply, just strode over to the window and looked down. Below her lay her favorite part of the whole castle. It was another paved courtyard, but there were large pots of plants all over that gave it the illusion of being a natural garden. At the end of the courtyard had been a three-foot-high wall, and on the other side of the wall was an extreme drop-off that led down to the ocean. Now, however, the wall was five feet tall and there were stone bricks and building materials lying about, indicating the construction. Many of the pots had been shattered and strewn about.

It was the last straw for Saedra. Not only had her favorite servant been fired, but her favorite place in the whole castle had been ruined because they were almost completely blocking the view of the ocean.

"I don't give a damn what Reine is doing right now!" she snarled. "Get him! Get him _now!"_

Gilda looked at the Duchess with a scared expression before scampering out of the room, hiking up her skirts to keep them out of her way. Saedra had never raised her voice with her before, and it did not feel good at all. But before this day she had never needed to.

Just then she remembered Talia sitting on the couch, and walked over to her and held out her hand. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I think it's time for a rest. My bedroom is just down the hall and you can sleep there tonight. I may be up a while sorting out this mess."

Talia had looked scared, but with Saedra's soothing voice she relaxed. Saedra brought her to the end of the hall, opened the door to her room, and saw that the servant Nina was fixing up the room. She figured Gilda had told her to freshen up the place. "Nina, don't worry about the room. Could you please see that Talia gets a good dinner and put her to bed? She'll be sleeping in here tonight."

"Yes, my Lady," Nina curtsied then smiled at Talia.

"Will you be okay with Nina, Talia?" Saedra asked, bending down to look at her.

Talia nodded then yawned.

Saedra smiled and said, "Good. I will see you in the morning."

She left her bedroom and went back to her office. When she opened the door, no one was there yet, so she went and sat behind the desk to peruse the paperwork that lay before her. After a few minutes of looking at the papers, she was fuming again. When Gilda opened the door, bringing in Lord Reine and Lord Leren (another courtier who had been advisor to her father) she stood up to greet them with a solemn expression. "Be seated."

The lords obeyed and sat in the chairs in front of the desk. Reine was a white-haired man with a pale face and very blue eyes. He was neither plump nor skinny and was clothed in finer clothes than he had ever worn around Saedra before. He did not look intimidated in the least at Saedra's expression and looked at her expectantly.

Leren was younger than Reine and had dirty blonde hair, and wore fine clothes as well. Leren had once tried to court Saedra, but she had utterly refused him, suspecting the only reason he had shown interest in her was because of her position.

When Gilda started heading for the door, Saedra said, "You too, Gilda. Sit."

When all three of them were seated, Saedra remained standing and put her palms on the desk to lean over. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Reine."

"Do I?" he said in an amused voice.

Saedra had not been expecting him to be amused with her anger, and it disturbed her. She didn't show it, though, and snapped, "You know very well you do. Let's start with the servants that you've fired." She held up the list that she had found. "Eighteen servants? What gave you the right to send away eighteen of my best workers?"

"Gilda did."

"Oh, so this was her idea?" Saedra said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, it was my idea. You exceed your means, Lady Saedra. You pay the servants extravagantly and leave no money for anything else. I figured we could get rid of the unnecessary help."

"Unnecessary?" Saedra said, disbelievingly. "So it is not necessary to have someone to light the fires? It is unnecessary for someone to dust and sweep the entranceway? It is unnecessary to have someone to cook dinners? Do not think that I have not noticed the dismal state of the castle, Lord Reine."

Reine was about to speak but she cut him off, saying, "On to the next topic. Whatever possessed you to build a wall around the east and south side of the building?"

"Safety, your Ladyship."

"Safety! What kind of fool do you take me for?" she exclaimed. "Are you afraid that Lord Leren here is going to throw himself off the cliff?"

"No, it is in case the Calormenes or anyone else attempts to invade us."

"And you think that a hundred-fifty foot cliff on is not enough of a deterrent to attackers? We have walls where they _might_ be necessary, though I dare any enemy try to bring an army up our west and north sides with the steep, rocky hill there, even without the walls we already have."

"It seemed wise at the time," Reine said stiffly.

"Wise to fire servants in order to finance a wall that is completely useless? I have seen your financial records, sir. You have squandered money on lavish food and fine clothes while claiming a financial crisis. Your deceit is exposed, Lord Reine! You may leave and I shall decide what to do with you."

For a second he didn't catch her order to leave. She stared at him expectantly, and a moment later her words registered.

He stood up and bowed. "Your Ladyship, I'd advise you not to question what has been done here. You cross me to your own peril."

Saedra raised an eyebrow in a disbelieving look. After a long moment of staring hard at her, he spun on his heel and stalked out of the room, Lord Leren hot on his heels. The door slammed behind them.

"Gilda."

"Yes?"

"I can easily see Reine wanting to do these things, because he has always disliked me and tried to irk me. But why in the world did you use my seal to order these atrocities? _You _were the one I left as regent, not him!"

"You don't know the pressure I was under. They put up with you because Duke Dane named you heir, but I've no claim to power. At times...at times I feared for my safety."

"Your safety?" Saedra exclaimed.

"Reine often hinted that he would have me poisoned if I crossed him. Oh, Saedra, he has so many supporters! It _would_ be unwise to cross him!"

"Pish posh! Who would support him? Surely not the servants!"

"No, but many of the farmers in the province are on his side. He's promised lowered taxes and more power to the people."

"Speaking of the farmers, what has happened to the market?"

"He has shut it down..." Gilda paused. "Saedra dear, he claimed that it was your order that he had it shut down."

"He's saying that was my order? He's more cunning than I thought! That's a sure way to turn them against me. Well, the only way to deal with this is to set things to right. Gilda, could you find me all of the paperwork for the changes Reine has made?"

"Yes," Gilda said, starting to search though the pile of papers on the desk before she paused. "My dear, I really am sorry that I wasn't stronger. You wouldn't have given in to the intimidation like I did."

"I don't blame you, Gilda. It wasn't smart of me to leave, I suppose. I shouldn't have put such a burden on your shoulders when you hadn't handled something like that before. But I had no idea that Reine was so ambitious! He never liked me exactly, but I didn't know that he was trying to turn the people against me."

"Do not blame yourself. There's nothing that has been done that cannot be made right," Gilda said, putting her hand on Saedra's arm.

Saedra sighed. "Let us hope that is true."


	18. The Two Proposals

**The Two Proposals**

* * *

The next morning when Saedra woke up, it took her a moment to remember where she was. She was so used to travelling and sleeping in strange beds that it was a surprise to her when she looked around the spacious bedroom to find that she was…home. The vanity sat in front of the wood-paneled wall as it always had, the ancient carpet with the intricate design still rested on the floor, and her bed (which creaked if you went over certain spots) was still the comfy, pillow-covered bed that she had grown up with.

After looking around, she realized that she was sprawled out on the left side of her four-poster bed facing the high ceiling, in the exact same position she had gone to sleep in when she had thrown herself onto it in the wee hours of the morning. She turned her head towards the window that faced the North and saw that it was about noon already. Remembering Talia, she looked to her right and saw that the bed beside her was empty.

She groggily sat up and rubbed her face as the previous night's events came back to her. She had stayed up past three o'clock in the morning reversing Reine's changes and trying to set things right. She still hadn't decided what to do with Reine himself; she had left that nasty chore for the next day.

Saedra went over to her closet and smiled when she saw her rows of dresses hanging there, just as they had when she had packed her best ones into her trunk for the trip up to Narnia. Now all of those dresses were either in Tashbaan or ruined, but Saedra didn't have any use for them anymore. She had needed them in order to look pretty for the foreign dignitaries, but now that she was home, no one would look twice if she was dressed simply. Who was she going to impress, anyway? Gilda and Talia accepted her for who she was and not how she looked. She put on a plain blue-grey dress, cleaned herself up, and went down to the kitchen on the first floor.

When she pushed open the heavy wooden door and went into the kitchen, Gilda, Talia, and Nina were in there already. Gilda and Talia were sitting at the table, eating and chatting amicably, while Nina cleaned the dishes that were still left over from breakfast.

"Morning," Saedra said, pulling out a chair and plopping into it.

"Afternoon is more like it," Gilda chided.

Talia giggled at Gilda's reply.

"Would you like something to eat, my Lady?" Nina said, drying her hands on her apron.

"Yes, I would, thank you. Anything is fine. I didn't know you could cook!"

The servant looked uneasy, as if she was afraid that she would get Saedra angry again. "I've been learning ever since Reine fired the chefs. I'm not very good yet."

"Wasn't your sister one of the cooks?" Saedra asked.

Nina nodded. "Yes, your Ladyship. She has moved back home with our mother since."

"Well, whenever you get the chance, be sure to let her know that—if she wants to—she can come back at her earliest convenience and have her job back," Saedra said. "And please make sure she knows that it was not my idea that she was let go."

Nina look relieved. "Thank you, Duchess. I'll tell her when I have a spare moment."

Saedra shrugged. "You can leave the dishes. Why don't you tell her now?"

"Now?" Nina stared at her with wide eyes as if unsure it wasn't a joke. When Saedra nodded, she said, "Thank you again, my Lady!" She untied her apron and went out the kitchen's back door in a hurry.

"Now that we're getting one of our cooks back, on to other business," Saedra said, getting up and looking through the cupboards for something to eat. "We need to find a proper bedroom for Talia. What do you think, Talia?"

"That—that would be wonderful," Talia said eagerly.

"I was thinking one of the guest rooms on the second floor could be converted quite nicely, wouldn't you say, Gilda?"

"That's an excellent idea. If you have other plans today, I could help Talia with that."

Saedra grimaced as she put a roll and some fruit onto a plate. She wanted to be there with Talia as she moved in, but she had duties that could not wait. "Yes, that'd be great. I'll be very busy today."

She set the plate on the table and sat down. "I want to visit the servants that were fired and personally ask them to come back. I think it'll go a long way to restore a good opinion of me once the word spreads." She looked at Talia and said, "I hope you don't mind. If you want to come, you can, but it'll be a long day and I figured you must be tired from yesterday."

"I am tired—and sore," Talia admitted. "But could I come with you another day?"

"Yes," Saedra promised. "I'd love that. Gilda, have you seen Reine today?"

"That reminds me!" Gilda said, pulling out a note out of her pocket and handing it to Saedra. "Lord Leren gave this to me to give to you."

Saedra hastily opened the seal and read the note, then slumped back in her chair. "Reine has gone to Anvard for a 'vacation.' He said he may stay there until the Winter Festival and then come back with us afterwards. Well, that solves the problem of what to do with him, at least for now!"

"Don't you worry that he might spread rumors about you?" Gilda asked.

Saedra shrugged. "Who would listen? Everyone knows how he feels about me since the debacle when he tried to prove I wasn't fit to be Duchess. Anyway, I can't be in two places at once and need to set things right around here before I focus on anything else."

"Spoken like a true noblewoman," Gilda nodded.

After lunch, the three of them went up to the second floor and separated. Saedra went back to the bedroom fetch her cloak and to pretty herself up, while the other two went to pick out Talia's bedroom. Afterwards, Saedra went down through the empty castle and to the stables that were inside the grounds next to the west wall. Talan saddled her horse for her, and soon she was riding down the steep road that she had come up the previous day. After half an hour of riding through the forest, she came to her first destination: Tina's home.

The house rested in a valley between two tree-covered hills, and had a stream that ran near it through the valley. A large brown barn was behind the house and a couple of skinny, scruffy-looking dogs were stiffing around or chewing unidentifiable objects. The beautiful terrain was in sharp contrast with the poverty displayed by the small, worn-down house and barn.

Saedra tied her horse to a tree, picked her way through the muddy front yard, and knocked on the door before stepping back down off of the unsteady front step to wait.

She heard muffled voices behind the door before she heard the latch being undone. The door opened an inch, revealing a sliver of a face. The person looked her over and then threw the door wide open, saying, "Lady Saedra!"

The woman was very thin and her clothes hung about her loosely. She wore a filthy apron atop her brown dress and a grey fluffy cap was perched atop her grey-haired head.

"Hello, Mrs. Quigley," Saedra said. "I've come to see Tina. Is she here?"

Mrs. Quigley looked over her shoulder and yelled, "Tina! Lady Saedra is here to see you!" then she turned around and gestured furiously for Saedra to enter the house. "Come in, come in!"

Saedra followed Mrs. Quigley into the small kitchen and pushed her hood off her head.

"Be seated, be seated, my Lady! _Tina!"_

Saedra sat down just as Tina rushed in front the back room. Tina's fair hair was falling out of a long braid, and her green eyes went wide when she spotted Saedra.

"My Lady!" she exclaimed while stopping to curtsy.

Saedra stood up and walked around the table, holding out her arms. "Tina, dear! How have you been?" She was the same age as Saedra, but since she was uneducated she acted younger.

"I've been well, my Lady," Tina said, but Saedra didn't quite believe her. "To what do we owe this pleasure?"

"I want you to come back and work at the castle again. Lord Reine shouldn't have fired you in the first place, but what's done is done. I want you back."

Tina's eyes bulged. "You want me back? Lord Reine said that it was under your order that I was fired!"

"Do let's be seated," Mrs. Quigley said. "I'll get some tea." She went behind the counter to put some water on the rusty stove.

As she and Tina sat down across from each other, Saedra said, "No Tina, Lord Reine was most certainly not taking orders from me, and if he had been, firing you would have been the last thing I'd have suggested."

"I admit that I was surprised, my Lady," Tina said. "I didn't think you were displeased with my work."

"Quite the contrary. Your assistance has been irreplaceable, and that is why I had to come here first thing."

"The water is heating," Mrs. Quigley said, coming over and sitting at the table. "I must say, Lady Saedra, I'm glad that you're back. Things haven't been the same since you left, what with the robberies and-"

"The robberies!" Saedra exclaimed, shocked. "No one has mentioned any robberies!"

Harden Province was the poorest area of Archenland ever since it had been decimated by the Calormenes, but it had had as few crimes as the rest of the provinces in the country-and that was very few considering the people of Archenland were generally very decent.

"Oh, yes. You know the mill down on the river?" Mrs. Quigley asked.

Saedra nodded.

"Whole bags of grain were stolen about a month ago, and no one has any idea who it was. Also, Old Man Wiser was beat up last week, but since it was dark he couldn't identify who it was."

Saedra gasped. "Is he alright?"

"Yes, yes. His neighbors found him within the hour when they were walking down the lane. He's recovering nicely, but the whole province is astir."

"What did Lord Reine do to find the villains?" Saedra asked.

"What can be done?" Mrs. Quigley asked. "We've no idea who's been doing these things and if they're related. All we can do is keep a close eye out and to lock our doors."

Saedra stayed with them long enough to drink their watered-down tea, and after securing Tina's promise that she would resume work at the castle the very next day, she left. She had taken the list of the servants that had been fired with her in her cloak pocket, and she pulled it out and examined it. After refreshing her memory, she went off to do the same thing at the next farmstead that she had at the Quigley's-explain the real situation.

That is how the rest of her day was spent, going from farm to farm and explaining what had been going on. At some of the places the people were not very happy to see her at first, but when things were sorted out, they did become friendly again.

The day was very enlightening to Saedra. Not only did she learn about the robberies and beating from the Quigleys, but she learned that the reason the castle's market was empty was because Reine had greatly raised the fee to sell one's wares there-no doubt to finance the wall he was so keen on building. The farmers could no longer make a good enough profit selling there, and so they didn't. Saedra promised them all that the fee would be lowered to its original reasonable level; that declaration was as advantageous to her as it was to the sellers, for the market was the main source of income for the castle.

It was nearly completely black out when she got back to the castle. Talan took her horse for her, and she went upstairs to find Gilda and Talia. They were in one of the guest rooms hanging up a curtain when she came in.

"Saedra!" Talia exclaimed. "How do you like my room?"

"It's lovely," Saedra smiled, looking around. The large room had been scrubbed clean, and the old musty curtains and beddings had been taken down and laid on a pile on the floor. There was a nicer bedspread atop the bed and the curtains they were hanging up matched it.

"Guess where we got these?" Gilda asked Saedra, smiling.

"Those used to be mine!" Saedra exclaimed, going over to touch the curtains. "They hung in my room when I was a girl."

"We found them in a trunk in the attic," Talia said. "That place is a like a pirate's cave! There's so much up there."

"Well you're welcome to anything you want up there," Saedra promised. "Aslan knows it'll all go to waste otherwise. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Sure is," Gilda said. "Could you hold up that side of the curtain for a second?"

The rest of the evening was spent making Talia's room pretty, and by the time they were done they were all thoroughly exhausted. When Saedra and Gilda tucked Talia in, she fell asleep almost instantly. Too tired to even get a decent dinner, Saedra bade Gilda goodnight, went into her own bedroom, and flopped onto the bed.

* * *

The next few months at Harden Castle flew by as things were brought back to normal. All of the servants were relieved to be back in their old jobs, and the market was packed with farmers selling their wares, so the castle was soon back to the way Saedra remembered it, bustling with people. Autumn brought the largest crowds, so there was hardly a dull moment at the castle.

Talia adjusted to life there as well as can be expected. She was still shy around strangers, but as all sons of Adam and daughters of Eve do, she soon got used to being served instead of serving others as she had as a slave, though she wasn't spoiled. She also lost the gaunt look she had from being malnourished and began to fill out nicely. She became good friends with Gilda, who became her governess since Saedra was determined that Talia be educated.

As for things between Talia and Saedra, they became very close, and after a few months of living at Harden, Talia hesitantly asked Saedra if she could call her "Mother." Saedra was dumbfounded but deeply touched, and consented even though she didn't feel worthy to be called that.

Saedra spent an hour a day corresponding to the countless letters from her friends from afar. She wrote to Aravis at Anvard (who wrote to Talia as well and was enjoying being away from Calormen); Susan, Edmund, and Lucy (who told Saedra that Peter's conquest against the Giants had gone well); and finally, Tarkheena Lasaraleen and Saedra's cousin Rahai (she learned that Lasaraleen had actually helped Aravis escape Tashbaan!).

As for Lord Reine, he stayed in Anvard as he had planned. When asked, Aravis assured Saedra that he hadn't been trying to get back at her for cancelling his plans, and Saedra pushed him to the back of her mind.

Autumn was nearly over when one night, Saedra sat at her desk in her bedroom answering mail. She came across a letter that shattered the happy, relatively uneventful bliss they had entered. The letter was from King Lune.

_My Dear Duchess, _

_Thou may be surprised that I have written to thee personally, for I know that thou and thy daughter Talia are in close correspondence with Lady Aravis and my dear sons. However, this matter that I am bringing to thy attention is not something that I would want Lady Aravis to convey to thee, as it is a most delicate and serious matter. _

_Enclosed is a letter that I received a few days ago from Ahoshta Tarkaan, Grand Vizier of Calormen. Thou can read the details for thyself, but the point is that the Grand Vizier has asked me for thy hand in marriage. Aravis has assured me that this fellow is not pleasing and that thou would not care to marry him, but I wanted to make absolutely sure._

_Read the letter and tell me for thyself, my Lady, whether thou would accept or reject this man. The ramifications of rejecting him could be dire, since this is an obvious attempt on the Tisroc's part to build a bridge between our two countries that was so thoughtlessly torn down by the foolish Prince Rabadash. But if thou truly wishest not to marry the Grand Vizier, I will find a way that harm will not be done and that we may continue to mend the relations between our two countries. _

_I await thy word, my Lady._

_Sincerely, _

_Lune, King of Archenland _

After scanning Ahoshta's exceedingly tedious letter, Saedra looked up and shook her head, saying, "Well, this is certainly the last thing I expected!"

Talia, who had been doing her lessons quietly on the bed, looked up and said, "What is it, Mother?"

Saedra looked over at her with a dazed expression. "Ahoshta Tarkaan wants to marry me!"

Talia sat up and put down her quill. "You jest!"

"Sadly, I do not. King Lune just wrote to me himself and forwarded Ahoshta's letter." She got up and walked over to the bed. "Here, see it for yourself."

Talia, who had begun to learn to read, read the letter out loud while Saedra corrected her on words she didn't know. When she was done, she looked up at her step-mother with wide eyes. "You aren't thinking of accepting him, are you?"

"No, of course not!" Saedra said, sitting on the bed. "But I know that it puts King Lune in a tough position. If we outright refuse Ahoshta with the excuse that I simply don't want to marry, the Calormenes will be offended, since they wouldn't be able to comprehend a woman not wishing to be married."

"Then what can we do?"

"The only way to avoid marriage with Ahoshta would be for me to enter into an engagement with someone else."

"Would you do that?"

"It depends on the man," Saedra said. "I've always known that I would marry someday, and I'm too jaded to hope that it might be for love. If it is a decent chap who doesn't repulse me, who would be a good father to you, I would do it—but only if you agree to him as well."

Talia paused, thinking. "It'd be very different having a man around. Though it could be nice…"

Saedra patted her shoulder. "Well, all of this talk may be for nothing. King Lune may come up with a solution yet."

* * *

A few weeks later, she got word from the King again.

_I am working on a solution as I write. He is a good man, the best of men, but nothing is certain yet. I hope thou art still planning to come up for the Winter Festival, for I am sure I will have the answer by then. _

About a month after that, she received a letter from Lucy:

_I have such exciting news! Peter and I will be coming down for the Winter Festival! I'm so excited, I can hardly write legibly. It seems like forever since I've seen you; it's been almost half a year. I cannot wait to see you, and I'll tell you all my news then. _

When Saedra read that letter, she was excited and apprehensive at the same time. _What will happen when I see Peter again? I hope we can try to be civil…_

A letter from Aravis came not long after:

_As the Winter Festival approaches, everything is astir. There are murmurings that High King Peter of Narnia is coming down, and that he is looking for a wife! This is all of great interest to the women—of course, I don't care, because I'm much too young to marry in Archenland as you know, but it is all so very exciting…_

_Good, _Saedra thought. _If Peter is coming to be engaged, there'll be no more tension between us. We can meet as friends and nothing more. _

* * *

As the festival approached, Talia became impossible to live with. She was bursting with excitement all the time, always talking about Aravis, Cor, and Corin. To make matters worse, she had gotten a new haircut and new dresses that only added to her excitement.

The journey to Anvard was split into two days, because it took longer to travel when there was snow covering the ground. They stopped about half-way at Lord Dar's castle and spent the night there. The next day they set off, this time with Lord Dar and Darrin and their people with them. They arrived at Anvard late that evening, and to Saedra's surprise, Lune came out to greet her in the main entranceway.

"Duchess Saedra!" he said warmly, "I've solved our dilemma. The solution to the problem is sitting in my study upstairs."

She thought his wording rather odd, but then figured that he must have found someone who was willing to marry her. Anxious to see who it was, she handed her cloak to the attendant and said, "I'm ready now."

"But thou art wet from snow, my Lady! Surely we can wait so that thou dost not catch cold."

"No, I am fine, your Majesty. I'm eager to meet your solution."

Lune saw that she was determined, and held out his arm for her. She took it, and they walked up to the study together, Lune chattering the whole way. As he opened the door, he was saying, "Thou will be most pleased when thou see-est who I've gotten for thee. There's no finer man in the world."

When the door was opened, she saw that there was a man sitting in the chair in front of the fireplace, staring into it thoughtfully. He was wearing very fine navy blue royal clothes and had blonde, wavy hair that framed his handsome face. Atop his head was a golden crown. His face was in profile; there was no doubt in the world who he was.

Saedra's faced paled and her stomach clenched as the man stood up and locked eyes with her.

_Impossible...Lune wouldn't...Peter?_

Lune, however, took no notice of her sickly appearance, walked over to Peter, and clapped his hand on the High King's broad back.

"My Lady, I have found thee thy husband!"


	19. The Engagement

**The Engagement**

* * *

Saedra could have been knocked over by a feather after Lune's declaration. She stared at the King, hoping desperately that it was a part of a sick joke, but Lune only looked at her with an immensely satisfied grin on his face. And why shouldn't he be happy? He thought he had arranged the biggest marriage of the century, perhaps of the millennium.

When Lune did not offer her any consolation, she looked over at Peter. He was staring at her seriously; the look was not resigned or unhappy, but neither was it joyful. He looked like he was anxious to hear Saedra's answer, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Thou art speechless with joy, I see!" Lune said happily. "Have I not made you the ultimate match? Did I not tell you that you would be betrothed by the end of the year?"

"Yes—indeed," Saedra managed to say, still staring at Peter with wide eyes. A moment later she broke away from his gaze and looked at the King. "I admit that I'm shocked. The High King is the last person whom I thought would agree to marry me."

Lune's eyebrows shot up, obviously confused. He still had no idea of the rift between Saedra and Peter. "And why not? Thou art a respected, handsome woman of noble birth and he a man of common sense. Not to mention that thou have been friends these past years."

"That may be so, my King, but I'd always been under the impression that if the High King ever married, it would be because he was in love." Saedra looked at Peter pointedly as she said these things.

Peter opened his mouth slightly as if he was going to reply to her unspoken question, but Lune did not notice and exclaimed, "My dear Duchess, the High King is wise enough to know that love before matrimony is a rare thing. I have no doubt that he will learn to love thee (and what man wouldn't?) and thou will love him in return (for what woman wouldn't?). Come, let us sit before the fire and discuss the details."

Saedra followed him, and they sat themselves in the couches around the fire. As soon as she was settled, she said to Peter, hoping to give him another chance to explain his offer to marry her, "Your Majesty, I am surprised that you have consented to this match."

"I can see that, my Lady, but I assure you that when Lune presented me with the idea I was keen on it."

Saedra was certain he was being diplomatic for Lune's sake and pressed, "And what do your siblings think of the idea?"

"They rejoiced even more than I did," he said. "Susan and Lucy were thrilled by the idea of having another sister and Edmund thought it a good notion."

"He did?" Saedra said, surprised. Then she stopped herself mid-thought.

_Why are you surprised, Sae? _she asked herself. _There's no reason why Edmund wouldn't like the match._ But she did know in that moment that she would much rather marry Edmund than Peter. She had a deep respect for the younger brother. She could always be herself around him, and they could talk about anything…Yes, she definitely would rather marry Edmund than Peter.

"I see you share my surprise," Peter said. "Yes, I was more astonished than you are that Edmund approved, but he said that we would be very happy together and would make a fine match."

"King Edmund always had a lot of sense," Lune agreed. "He was also offered the option to marry thee, but it was agreed on all sides that High King Peter would be the better one. Ahoshta Tarkaan will be less offended if he is turned down for the _High_ King of Narnia."

Saedra looked into the fire and wondered why she hadn't considered the idea that Lune would be so ambitious as to ask _Peter _to marry her. She had thought he would find some Archenlander duke or lord that would be kind-but dull-and marry him…but never the last person she would want to marry! But it _was _her fault, because she hadn't wanted to tell Lune about her fight with Peter.

She put her hand up to her forehead, suddenly wanting to be alone to think.

"My Lady, is thee unwell?" Lune asked, sitting up.

"I'm just tired, oh King. The journey today must have taken more out of me than I thought." She stood up, and the men stood up with her. "I hope you don't mind if I go lay down."

"Of course not! We can discuss the details tomorrow," Lune said, the thought not even entering his head that she might reject the marriage offer. "May I walk thee to thy room?"

"No, thank you, your Majesty," Saedra said then curtsied. "Excuse me."

She rushed out of the office as fast as possible without being rude. She found out from a servant which guest room she was assigned to, and made her way through the castle to it. The whole way she was careful to avoid anyone that might want to talk to her, especially Lucy, because she needed to be alone to think.

_Why in the world would Peter agree to marry me, especially when he not only doesn't love me but dislikes me? He went out of his way to be an ass! _she thought as she went through the halls.

She remembered that he had once declared to her that he would never marry unless he was in love. _He could have been lying. _The more she thought about it, the more she decided that Peter _had_ been lying. _Or if he did mean it then, the advantage of securing such a close alliance with Archenland would surely chase away his inhibitions. He's a King first and foremost. _

When she got to the guest room, she saw that the servants had brought up her bags and her cloak. Talia's things weren't there because Aravis had invited her to share her room during their stay.

_I probably won't see much of Talia for a while, _Saedra thought as she stretched out on the bed. Snow was falling gently outside and the warm fire in the hearth would have made her very sleepy, but Peter's offer kept her mind racing despite her exhaustedness.

She eventually fell asleep, but not before she had made up her mind what she was going to do...

* * *

The next morning, Saedra had a servant bring a note to Peter that requested a meeting with him at his earliest convenience. She then had brunch in her room, wanting to be available whenever Peter came to talk to her, and also still not wanting to see Lucy before the matter was settled. Her chat with Peter would clear up the matter, and then she could face Lucy without worrying about how to avoid the topic of matrimony with her brother.

She had expected Peter to come right away, but he didn't. She ended up spending the whole afternoon in her room waiting for him. By the time dinner came around, she was fuming, certain that his tardiness was to put her in her place and show who was really in control.

She went down to the dining hall as everyone was being seated. The hall was decorated for Christmas in red and green colors, and was very cheery with all of the candles.

When Lune saw Saedra coming over, he said, "Thou art just in time! I have reserved a seat for thee next to the High King."

Peter was seated on Lune's left and Lucy on his right, and the open seat was to the left of Peter. Down the table sat Talia with the Princes and Aravis, the whole group chatting loudly. She had spotted Lord Reine as she entered, but he seemed to be making a point to avoid Saedra-which did not bother her in the least.

Lucy jumped out of her chair and exclaimed, "Saedra! Where have you been hiding? I have been hoping to see you all day! We've so much to talk about!"

Saedra didn't get a chance to reply, because Lune took her arm. She shot Lucy a helpless look as he whisked her right away and helped her into the seat next to Peter.

Once she had put her napkin in her lap, she said sweetly to Peter, "Did you receive my note, your Majesty?"

"I did, my Lady," was all Peter said.

Anger boiled up in Saedra. It was obvious that he was slighting her.

_How dare he still treat me like this! I know very well that this match is as advantageous for him as it is for me! _

She ignored him for the rest of the meal, but he didn't seem to take any notice of it and talked to Lune the whole time. He didn't acknowledge her presence again until the end of dinner when she was standing up to leave.

He said, "Excuse me, oh King" to Lune, then stood up and followed her as she made her way through the emptying tables. "My Lady, I believe you wish to speak to me."

She abruptly stopped. "I did, your Majesty," she said through clenched teeth, "but I think that that conversation is no longer necessary. Please tell King Lune that I appreciate his efforts to secure me an alternate husband but that I am unable to accept." She turned to keep walking, but Peter kept up with her.

"I think it would be wise to reconsider, my Lady. Surely the Grand Vizier would not make you happy."

She stopped again, and this time they were in an entranceway to the hall. "Who said anything about me marrying him? I've been thinking over dinner, and I've decided that I don't need to marry _anyone_. To hell with politics, let King Lune deal with it."

Peter looked at her warningly and said in a low voice. "Watch yourself, Saedra. For your own sake, don't be stubborn."

"I am not the stubborn one here, _Peter_," she snapped, using his informal name the way he had used hers. "Since when do you care so much about my well-being? I was prepared to accept your offer today, but your rudeness has changed my mind!"

Peter's eyes flashed. "You're upset that I didn't come to you the instant that I received your message, I see. Well, your Ladyship, it may distress you some to hear this, but you are not the only thing going on in my life right now. I promised my afternoon to someone else and didn't think it prudent to break that promise. Did it not enter your mind that I might have had other engagements that I had to see to?"

Saedra knew he had a point, but asked with a disbelieving look on her face, "Such as what?"

"Forgive me," Peter said, then paused as someone walked out the door between them before continuing, "but you haven't the right to inquire about my dealings. If you were my wife—"

"If I was your wife, you would treat me with more indifference than you do now! My purpose would have been accomplished and I would be of no further use to you other than to punch out Narnian heirs."

Peter looked around, suddenly aware that while people weren't looking in their direction, it was a real possibility that they could be overheard. "Follow me," he said, gripping her arm.

She didn't bother to fight and allowed him to lead her down the hall into the library. He shut the door behind him and looked around to see if anyone was in there. No one was, and he looked back at Saedra.

"You've always taken great delight in judging me," he said. "But I beg you to cease this pointless vendetta you have against me."

"You flatter yourself," she spat back. "I call things as I see them, and I've never claimed to be always right—but with you I'm sure I am. You despise me as much as I despise you, so this marriage would never work."

"Under what conditions would you accept my hand?"

"I don't know if any conditions could induce me to marry you now!"

"You said that you were willing to accept me earlier. You must have terms that you wanted to lay out—I know you well enough for that! Name them."

"Fine," Saedra said, though she knew Peter would resist them. "First is that Talia approves of you and that you would be a father to her." Peter had never met Talia before but surely had heard about her from his siblings.

He nodded. "Of course! That is more than fair…As long as you don't poison her against me."

She rolled her eyes but continued. "Second is that I keep my title of Duchess and be free to come and go between Cair Paravel and Harden whenever I please."

Peter didn't reply for a while. "Which would mean that you would be in Harden most of the year."

"Naturally," she said smugly.

Peter no longer looked so willing to hear more. "Any _other_ conditions?"

"Yes," she said, taking a deep breath before dealing him his final blow. "I want it to be understood between us that this marriage is utterly and completely a political match. We will keep separate sleeping chambers and there will be no expectation whatsoever that I will produce an heir." She knew that this condition was terribly bold and that she truthfully had no right to even request it.

_He cannot accept this condition, _she thought. _He will want his heir. _

He looked at her angrily. "You presume much to even think that I'd accept such a condition!"

"Do I?" she said with more bravery than she felt. "I know how you want this marriage more than I do. I know that you see this as a way to avoid conflict with Calormen."

He didn't deny it, just asked in an annoyed tone, "And how do you figure that, oh Wise One?"

"If I were to refuse Ahoshta flat out, they'd be offended. Who knows what the Calormenes would do? They might even attack Anvard again. And if they did, they would know better this time and come in greater numbers. They would take us over easily, and would be in the doorway of Narnia."

"You assume a great deal, my Lady," Peter said. "But I won't deny that I've considered that myself. But do you not also see that by refusing me, your province will certainly be taken over as well?"

"Yes," Saedra smiled. "But that won't happen."

"Pray, why not?"

"Because you will accept my conditions and marry me." She had the great urge to smirk at the look that crossed Peter's face.

She had caught him. If he refused, for all he knew the situation with Calormen that Saedra described might come true, and the only way to get her to marry him would be to accept her conditions.

"You, Duchess, are as sly as a serpent," he said, shaking his head, "and I don't say that to compliment you. I see I have no choice in the matter. I accept your conditions, but I must add one condition of my own."

"And that is?" She raised her eyebrows.

"That no one knows about the last condition, that people think that we are happy and in love. It would set a bad example for my subjects if I were to enter a miserable marriage."

"I completely agree with you. I wouldn't want it any other way," Saedra nodded. "Especially for Talia's sake. We must be good parents to her, and by doing so she must never know of the animosity between us."

The conversation died out there as both of them just looked at each other and absorbed the changes that were about to take place in their lives.

Peter released the silence by looking at the floor awkwardly, clearing his throat and scratching his chin, and then holding out his hand for her to shake. "Things needn't always be hostile, my Lady."

Saedra shook his hand. "I hope not, your Majesty. Shall we plan the details of our engagement tomorrow?"

"Yes, and I had better go tell King Lune that his scheming succeeded," Peter said, then his face broke out into a wry smile. "Lucy will also be thrilled to hear the news, you know."

"I'm sure she shall," Saedra half-smiled back. "I was just thinking of going to find her."

"Well, good night, my Lady," he bowed.

She curtsied, "Good night, your Majesty." It was strange thinking that the tall man standing before her would be her husband.

_In name only, _she reminded herself.

* * *

Saedra and Lucy did find each other that night, and they stayed up into the wee hours of the morning talking in Lucy's guest room. Lucy was beyond thrilled that Saedra would be her sister-in-law, saying that she had always hoped that Saedra would marry one of her brothers. Lucy was also relieved that Peter and Saedra had sorted out the fight that she and Tumnus had overheard at Rabadash's going-away party.

Though Saedra didn't see Lune until the next day at breakfast, he was also beside himself with happiness. He would always throw in hints about how well Saedra and Peter will like each other once they are married and such, and the High King and the Duchess could only smile and laugh along with him. A special party was planned that night to celebrate.

Amidst all of the hubbub, Saedra pulled Talia aside to talk to her before the party began. "Talia, I haven't gotten a chance to talk to you since the news was announced, and I'm curious what you think about it. I am sorry that I didn't consult you earlier, but if you don't like King Peter we can call it off—"

"Oh, no! I do like him, really!" Talia assured her. "He talked to me a great deal during breakfast today when you were still in bed, and I think he's what I always hoped for in a father!"

"I hope you don't think he is a replacement for your biological father back in Tashbaan," Saedra said carefully. "You don't need to feel obligated to call him 'father' if you don't want to."

"Oh, but I do!" the girl replied happily. "I already asked him if I could start calling him Father when you two get married as soon as I found out the news!"

"You did?" Saedra said, surprised. _Talia is not usually so open with adults! She must see something in Peter that she trusts. _

"I hope you don't mind…I thought you'd be happy," Talia said, her face falling.

"Oh, I am happy! Most happy. I'm just surprised. I didn't think you would accept him so fast."

"Well, he took us ice-skating on the lake yesterday and he was so obliging! Aravis and Cor and Corin loved him too."

"Yesterday...afternoon?"

"Yes, but even longer. We had so much fun that we stayed out all the way until dinnertime!"

Saedra paled. She had been furious at Peter for slighting her the day before-but he had really been skating with Talia and the children! She cringed inwardly as she remembered how she had yelled at him for not hearing her conditions right away, and the whole time he had been getting to know Talia.

"That's—that's wonderful!" she managed to smile. "I am glad that you like him. He really is a great man." She wasn't lying when she said that; she didn't like how he treated her personally, but there was no doubt that he was a great King and honorable man.

"Oh, I cannot wait until you are married!" Talia smiled, leaning over to hug Saedra. "We will be such a happy family."

_One can only hope, _Saedra thought.


	20. Peter's Attempts at Peace

**Peter's Attempts at Peace**

* * *

_Back where it all started, _Saedra thought wryly as she stood on the deck of the _Forben _and looked out to where Cair Paravel was looming larger and larger on the horizon.

"I can't believe it's only been a year," she murmured.

"A year since what?"

Saedra turned her head sharply and saw that Talia had joined her. She patted her step-daughter's shoulder affectionately.

"It was only last spring that I was sent up to meet Prince Rabadash." She grunted and looked down at the girl. "I can truthfully say that the only good that came out of that whole affair was that I met you, Talia."

Talia smiled, her white teeth contrasting with her tan face. "And now you are getting married to High King Peter."

Saedra forced a smile and said, "Yes…that too."

"I cannot wait to see him again! I found that after we left the Winter Festival I missed him dearly. He will be the perfect father," Talia declared. After the festival they had gone back home to Harden while Peter and Lucy went North to prepare for the wedding.

Saedra had to bite her lip to stop a sarcastic comment from slipping out. _Yes, Peter has certainly wormed his way into your heart. _But she couldn't hold it against Talia no matter how much she wanted to, for she knew very well that she had once been mesmerized by Peter ten times more.

Peter and Saedra had had a long and heated argument over whether the wedding should be held at Cair Paravel or at Harden Castle. Saedra thought it her right as the bride to have it at her home where her people could enjoy the celebrations, but while Peter saw her side of it, he thought that the whole purpose of the marriage would be better served if the wedding was held in Narnia. The quarrel went on for days until Lune intervened and agreed with Peter. That ended the debate, but Saedra was still unhappy about it even though she didn't press the matter.

While Peter and Saedra hadn't agreed on the location, they did agree that they wanted the wedding to happen in late spring when the flowers had already bloomed and when Narnia was at its prettiest. And from what Saedra could see as the ship neared the dock, Narnia was certainly at its prettiest. Flowers and greenery were everywhere, and banners were hanging with the symbol of the Lion to celebrate the upcoming nuptials. It was obvious that the Narnians were going all-out for the biggest wedding they had ever seen.

_The place looks positively cheery, _Saedra thought. Beside her, Talia looked ready to explode from excitement. Saedra looked back up and thought grimly, _Are the only people who aren't thrilled about this marriage the two of us who are actually getting married?_

But it turned out that there was one other person who wasn't thrilled about the nuptials, and Saedra almost missed that fact amidst the glorious welcome she received when they docked. Peter, Susan, Edmund, Lucy, Peridan, Tumnus, Lune, Cor and Corin, Aravis, and Dar and Darrin were all there to meet her along with throngs of other Narnians whom she recognized.

After giving Peter and Susan warm hugs, Talia ran over to her dear friends Aravis, Cor, and Corin. Meanwhile, Saedra was swept up and overwhelmed by all of the people and creatures clamoring to see or talk to her; it was amazing the fame she attracted now that she was no longer a meager Duchess but the wife-to-be of the High King.

"Welcome, Duchess," Peter half-yelled over the noise, bowing and kissing her hand.

She curtsied politely. "Thank you, your Majesty. Your palace looks amazing."

"All for you, my Lady," Peter said, looking at her as if searching for something in her expression.

King Lune stepped forward and clasped her hands with his face beaming. "I am glad that thou hast had a safe journey, Duchess. Is this not all marvelous? The High King has been most obliging. Everything is prepared, even though the wedding is not for a week yet! We are in debt to you, King Peter, for your kindness."

"No, it is I who must thank you, oh King, for proposing the idea of the marriage," Peter protested. "Had it not been for your foresight, this happy event might have never come to pass." He then looked over at Saedra with a look that could have been called affectionate.

Saedra was puzzled by the way Peter was acting, but all questions flew from her mind when she turned to Susan. The two friends squealed in excitement to see each other, and threw their arms about each other's necks. When they pulled back for air, Susan said, "Oh Saedra, I have so much to acquaint you with!"

"And I with you! I have been longing to see you for ages."

"Hey, Peter," Edmund's sarcastic voice broke through, making her heart leap. "I think Saedra should marry Susan instead. That would be a happy match indeed."

"Ed!" Lucy admonished.

Saedra laughed and embraced him, strangely aware of his body pressed against hers. This awareness puzzled and flustered her, so she pulled back quickly. It took him a moment more to realize the embrace was over, so there was a weird moment of her pushing and him pulling, but they disentangled themselves with red cheeks.

When she could manage to look up at him, he had an intense look in his eyes. It was a way she had never seen—or noticed?—him looking at her before, and it immediately sparked a flicker of hope in her mind that maybe, just _maybe, _Edmund didn't think of her only as a friend.

_Where did that thought come from? He's going to be your brother-in-law! _she snapped at herself. Trying to stop her thoughts from going any further, she ignored Edmund entirely and hugged Lucy.

"Don't mind Ed, Sae," Lucy said. "He's been a perfect sourpuss ever since the wedding preparations began."

"Oh? And why is that?" Saedra asked Lucy while glancing over at Edmund, who was watching them.

"It's because I despise parties," Edmund interjected with comical grumpiness, prompting everyone to laugh at him.

Saedra could see that he was trying to change the topic and said, "I must confess I am a bit weary from the journey. Shall we go up to the castle?"

It was a good thing that Saedra wasn't really as weary as she pretended to be for Edmund's sake, for the whole day was spent greeting friends and acquaintances. The whole castle of Cair Paravel was absolutely bursting with activity, because not only was the whole court of Narnia there, but a good portion of the Archenlander court was there as well. On top of that, more people were arriving all the time and everyone had to be greeted and welcomed by the High King and his bride-to-be.

Dinner was a huge event that night, and the Narnians and Archenlanders talked late into the night. Peter and Lune were sitting to her left, caught up in a deep discussion that Saedra was not in the mood to join, so she conversed with Talia, Cor, Corin, and Aravis most of the night. Though the day had not been unenjoyable, she found the company of the children to be more freeing than the proper way of talking that the adults had, and she laughed harder than she had in a long time at Corin's antics.

"And then Cor said, 'Thou art a Prince, are you not? You should start acting like one.' Then I happily obliged him by knocking him down," Corin was saying gleefully.

Saedra smiled and Talia giggled, staring adoringly at Corin. It was obvious that her crush on him had not waned but grew every time she saw him.

"He certainly did!" Aravis said enthusiastically. "Cor was limping for a week."

"I was not!" Cor protested, blushing.

"Was too!" Aravis and Corin said at the exact same time.

"And what did your father say about this whole incident?" Saedra asked.

"Oh, Corin got away with it," Cor said factually. "He always does."

"Yes, I do," Corin agreed, puffing out his chest.

"Why, Corin, my boy!" Saedra teased. "You're terribly spoiled!"

"What would you do if Talia knocked Aravis down?" Corin asked her.

"She couldn't knock me down!" Aravis interjected.

"Well, hypothetically, if Talia did knock someone down, I suppose I'd make her stay in her room," Saedra said. "Or give her extra school work or something...I haven't really thought about it! Talia is such a good girl and would never do anything like that." Saedra winked at Talia, who beamed at her step-mother's praise.

"Pardon the intrusion," Peter said, leaning in towards them with a twinkle in his eye. "But I was wondering if I could steal my fiancée and her daughter now that dinner is ending."

"Must you, your Majesty?" Corin said with exaggerated sadness. "I don't think I can bear to part with them."

"I'm grieved to pain you, little Prince, but we all have sorrows in life," Peter said gravely, but his mouth twitched with a smile trying to break through. He stood up and held out his arm for Saedra to take, and she stood up and linked it through his.

"My sorrow is that I shall have to be king," Cor said mournfully.

Peter chuckled and patted his head. "It's not _that_ bad, your Highness. Shall we be off?"

Talia hopped out of her seat and took Peter's other arm that was held out of her, and they made their way out of the dining hall. The simple act of leaving the dining hall was delayed many times by people stopping to congratulate them, but finally they were walking through the halls of the palace.

Suddenly it hit Saedra that the three of them would be a family.

_So this is it. This is what so many women dream to have…a king husband and a beautiful daughter. _

Somehow it still felt incomplete. She loved Talia to death and couldn't imagine a life without her; the problem was with the husband. Peter was a wonderful man, but it was a political marriage between two people who had butted heads in their youth and who had had a strange romance as adults. It wasn't exactly what Saedra had in mind when she'd ever imagined getting married.

"Where are we going?" Talia asked.

Peter smiled down at her. "Now that you're going to be a Narnian princess, I took it upon myself to see that you have a permanent bedroom here." He turned to Saedra. "I hope you don't think that I'm implying that I expect you both to be here all the time, or I'm going back on our agreement, Duchess. I just thought it'd be proper that you both feel at home here as well."

Saedra was touched by his unexpected thoughtfulness. "Thank you, your Majesty. That is very kind."

They stopped in front of a door on the second floor that was down the hall from the Kings' and Queens' bedrooms.

"Now, before we go on I want you to know that if you don't like the arrangement, we can change it any way you want to suit your taste. I'm the last one to know what a Princess would want, so I enlisted Lucy and Susan to help," Peter said uneasily.

Talia was bouncing up and down on the tips of her toes with eagerness. "I'm sure it'll be lovely! May we go in now?"

"Yes, go ahead," Peter smiled.

Talia opened the door and stopped in her tracks with her mouth hanging open. The room was huge and had dozens of windows that all faced the east. In the center of the room was a large four-poster bed that was covered with a red and gold comforter with dozens of pillows piled at the head. The whole theme of the room was the colors of the Narnian banner, and it looked very elegant and inviting.

"This puts your room back home to shame!" Saedra said, her mouth hanging partially open as well. "This is at least twice as large!"

Peter's face broke out into a relieved smile at their reactions. Talia walked to the bed and ran her hand over the soft fabric, then went over to a couch that was situated in front of the fireplace and bounced in it. After a moment of looking all around with an awed expression, she jumped up, ran over to Peter, and threw her arms around his waist.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she exclaimed. "I couldn't imagine a prettier place in the whole world!"

Peter grinned and patted her back. "A room fit for a Princess then?"

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" Then she released him and threw her arms around Saedra's waist.

Saedra had to take a few steps back to balance herself, and she laughed, "What's this for?"

"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here. I would still be a slave in Tashbaan." Talia looked up at her with her wide brown eyes filled with happy tears. "Thank you."

"You're more than welcome, my dear. You have brought more to my life than you could ever know."

Saedra looked up at Peter, worried that they were excluding him, but he was watching her closely with a happy expression on his face. A look of understanding passed between them: they both cared for Talia, and they could and would make the marriage as happy as possible for her sake.

Saedra pulled back from Talia, saying, "It's time we went to bed."

"Can I sleep in here tonight?" Talia asked eagerly.

"Of course!" Peter said. "Your trunks were brought up here and should be in the closet."

Talia gave them both one last hug and they said their goodnights. When Peter closed the door behind them, they smiled at each other.

"Thank you, Pet—your Majesty," Saedra said. "You have her unwavering affection now."

Pause.

"But not yours," he said bluntly.

Saedra looked at him for a moment before abruptly turning and walking down the hall, suddenly feeling guilty. But then she thought, _Why am_ I_ feeling guilty? He's the one who blew his opportunity. I did love him once._

"I don't think it will serve either of us to go down that road, your Majesty. I thought we had already discussed what this marriage is."

Peter quickly caught up with her. "And what if my feelings on the matter have changed?"

Saedra stopped. "Why in the world would they change? Surely nothing has happened to increase your affection for me," she challenged, daring him to declare his love for her.

_What am I doing? I don't even care for him that way anymore. It doesn't matter if he loves me or not...Does it?_

Peter didn't reply right away but studied her. "You have a lot of deep-seated anger, Saedra. I think it would be good if we could talk about this and straighten it out."

Saedra started walking again and he followed her. A Narnian noble was walking in the opposite direction, and they all greeted each other politely before they continued walking and Saedra growled, "That assertion is utterly untrue! But even if it was true, can you blame me? I have much to be angry with you about!"

"Such as?"

"Such as the humiliating way you treated me last spring!"

"Saedra, stop."

Peter grabbed her arm firmly and she was forced to comply. She looked up at him defiantly.

He continued, "You need to let go of that. You know perfectly well why I acted as I did."

"I certainly do not! And need I point out that you've never offered an explanation?"

He looked at her uncomprehendingly. "Surely you've figured it out. It was a delicate and complicated matter, but it is over now that we're getting married."

"Peter, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Pause.

"Would you please _tell_ me so we can put it behind us?" she asked.

Another pause. He finally said, "I don't think it would serve any purpose to go down that road. It's over, and so much the better if you don't know."

She stared at him disbelievingly. "You're simply _not_ going to tell me?"

"It wouldn't do anyone any good."

"I can't believe this! You expect me to stop being angry at you and yet you won't tell me why I shouldn't be angry at you!"

"Do you trust me, Saedra?"

"No!" she snapped, though it wasn't entirely true. He was a trustworthy man in all respects except when it came to her, at least that was how it seemed.

He looked away from her and swallowed. "You understand that in order to have a successful marriage we need to trust each other?"

"What reason do I have to trust you? And since when was our marriage _ever _going to be successful? I could have predicted ten years ago that if we ever were unfortunate enough to get married that this is how we would turn out!"

"You think we're as incapable of getting along now as we were ten years ago? You think us as helpless of reigning in our emotions and tempers as children? You underestimate yourself, my Lady. I know what you are capable of if you set your mind to it."

"I don't know whether that is a compliment, but I will take it as such," she said. "But it is in vain, for I refuse to accommodate people who do not accommodate me. And you're refusing to oblige me by telling me what happened last year, so I see no merit in doing what you want."

"Even if it means a disharmonious marriage?"

"Hah! You keep harping on that. The sooner you understand that this marriage is merely a means to an end, the better."

"So you truly don't respect me," Peter stated flatly.

Saedra was confused. "What do you mean?"

"You think that I am just a pawn in your scheme of avoiding marriage to Ahoshta Tarkaan."

"That is not all you are, but that is one of the things," she admitted.

"I never thought you so heartless," he said with a hint of bitterness.

"If you want to cancel the wedding, feel free to do so," she dared him.

Peter laughed bitterly. "I will do no such thing. Oh, no. We are going through with this. You will not make me look a fool that easily."

Saedra smirked. "Is it not more foolish to marry me?"

He shook his head, looking like he had no idea how he came to be in such a pitiable situation. "I wouldn't do that to Talia. She's already like a daughter to me."

"Fine then. We shall marry and appear happy and in love, and all the world will think us the ideal couple. Talia cannot know of our discord. Agreed?"

"Agreed. But I must demand that you not undermine my leadership in any way. I may be compassionate, but I'm not stupid, and neither you nor Talia will have any claim on the Narnian throne. I can promise you that."

"Nor would I want it! I don't have any of the ambition you suppose I do. I have no desire to be Queen and am quite content in my current station."

"Good. See that it stays that way."

Just then they heard someone coming down the hall towards them. When the approaching people passed a torch on the wall, they saw that it was Edmund (looking out of sorts) and Lucy.

On seeing them, Edmund stopped short. "I hope we aren't interrupting anything important."

"Not at all," Saedra said, avoiding his gaze. She acutely remembered her confusion around him earlier and found it awkward to meet his eyes. "I was just about to go to bed anyway."

"How did you like your new room?" Lucy asked. "Did you like the curtains I picked out?"

"My new room?" Saedra asked confusedly.

"She hasn't seen it yet," Peter said in a flat voice. "We were distracted."

"Oh, shall we all go together?" Lucy asked. "I want to see her face when she sees it!"

"You go ahead," Peter said. "I'm exhausted."

"Me too," Edmund said, matching Peter's depressed tone. "G'night."

When the two men had gone into their rooms, Lucy asked as they walked, "What's wrong with Peter?"

"Like he said, tired," Saedra lied. "What was wrong with Ed?"

"That's typical Ed now. He's sunk into a funk and no one can pull him out of it. It's just not like him at all."

"No, it's not," Saedra said thoughtfully.

"Here we are!" Lucy said brightly, opening the door.

"Wait, aren't we near Peter's room?"

"Of course we are! His is attached to this one through the bathroom you'll share."

The room was similar to Talia's, except even more grand, and the color scheme was purple, blue, and white. Saedra wandered around, complimenting the room to make Lucy happy, thinking the whole time how strange it would be to share a bathroom with Peter. She finished her tour of the room and sat on the bed, indicating that Lucy should join her.

"Is it proper for me to sleep here since we aren't married yet?" Saedra asked.

"Well, there's a lock on your bathroom door so as long as you keep it shut it won't matter. Besides, you are practically married anyway." She had a sudden thought. "Or are you worried that the temptation might be too great with you two being so close together here?"

Saedra had to literally swallow back a sarcastic comment. "Yes, that has been an issue for us."

Lucy moved in closer and put her arm around Saedra's shoulder. "Well, it's less than a week now. The wait will be over soon."

Saedra had to change the subject, otherwise she might burst out laughing. "Where's Susan? I had hoped we might catch up on things tonight."

"She's off with Peridan," Lucy said casually.

"With _who?_"

Lucy straightened. "She hasn't told you yet?" She clapped her hands gleefully. "I get to be the first to tell you! Susan and Peridan have started officially courting!"

Saedra's jaw dropped. "You jest!"

Lucy giggled. "It was a shock to all of us too—well, except for me. I could see that Susan was starting to look in his direction more than was appropriate and that he looked at her a great deal."

"But he's so old!"

"He's only thirty-six."

"That's what? Over a decade older than her?"

"Oh, don't be a wet blanket," Lucy laughed. "They're adorable together."

"I can well imagine it. But I always pictured Susan with some dashing, outgoing knight in shining armor. Someone rich and famous who would sweep her off of her feet."

"So did we all. But I think after her experience with Rabadash that desire was eradicated."

"With good reason," Saedra agreed, then leaned back on her elbows. "I just never would have thought!"

"Strange couples fall in love all the time. Just look at you and Peter. You and he never seemed to get along when we were little, and here you are, desperately in love."

"Yup," Saedra grimaced. "Desperately in love."


	21. The Wedding of the Millennium

**The Wedding of the Millennium**

* * *

"Now, my friend, you can finally tell me what's been going on with you and Peridan," Saedra declared.

She and Susan had finally found a moment where they could talk, and were entering the garden walking arm in arm. It was late morning, a time at which they had planned ahead to meet, because they wanted to have a moment together before Saedra married Peter the next day.

The past week had been a blur of activity as the whole palace finished last-minute preparations. The court room had been turned into a wedding chapel, but Saedra hadn't been allowed to go in there (Susan was in charge of the decorations and wanted it to be a surprise for her). The rest of the palace continued to be packed with well-wishers, so Saedra hardly saw Susan or Lucy unless it was for a few minutes to talk about wedding details.

Edmund had been out of Saedra's sight for most of the week unless she happened to pass him in the hallway near their bedrooms; this Saedra was grateful for, for she found she was getting flustered around him more and more-and with the embarrassment came guilt, for in the back of the mind she knew that such feelings were inappropriate.

While Peter was very often by her side, he avoided talking to her ever since their argument the night she arrived. It was rather awkward sharing a bathroom with him, because she was afraid that if she took a bath that he might just walk in, so she contented herself with sponge baths in her new bedroom.

Susan smiled gleefully, but shrugged casually as they headed to the east side of the garden. "There isn't much to tell. We're in love."

"Oh, do come on! There must be a story behind this," Saedra pressed, squeezing her friend's arm.

Susan tried to pretend to be annoyed and sighed, but it was clear that she had been aching to tell Saedra all. "Fine, fine. What would you like to know?"

"When did you start to care for him?"

Susan smiled and looked off into the distance, over the wall of the garden that was the same exact spot where Saedra had first started to be attracted to Peter a year before.

"I would say that it started in Tashbaan. I'd always thought of Peridan as just another courtier, as more of a father figure than anything else because he's twelve years older than you and I. That didn't change much during most of our stay in Tashbaan, but it started shifting as I began to sense that he cared for me as more than just his Queen. At first I ignored his feeble attempts to show his affection because I was enamored with Rabadash. But when I was broken-hearted and embarrassed about Rabadash's true character, Peridan was there to comfort me. I guess that's where it started."

"But Peridan is so different from Rabadash!" Saedra exclaimed. "I thought you'd always end up with someone with Rabadash's personality and good looks-not that Peridan is hard on the eyes, but he isn't the kind of man that women swoon over, at least not so much anymore."

"I think being with Rabadash taught me a good lesson: that I need a man who doesn't compete with me for attention," Susan said with a half-smile. "I need someone who doesn't spend as much time as I do in front of the mirror every day. I don't want someone who's a male version of me. I want someone who will complement my personality, not compete with it. Do you know what I'm saying?"

"I do," Saedra nodded. "You sound so mature! You've surely grown up in the months since Tashbaan."

"Getting your heart torn into two tends to do that to people," Susan observed. "I grew up against my will. I look back on the way I was and grimace at how naïve I was."

"How naïve we both were," Saedra corrected. "I was just as ignorant as you were back then, just in different ways."

"I don't think you could be classified as _ignorant_ back then."

"Well, in comparison to what I've learned since then, I was ignorant. But that's all a part of life: learning from your mistakes."

"By the Lion, we're sounding like old women!" Susan laughed.

"Well, I _am_ going to be married tomorrow and you surely within the next few months, so I don't think that assessment is far off," Saedra smirked. "But do continue telling me about Peridan!"

"There's not much more to tell! We came back to Narnia, and after the whole thing with Rabadash in Anvard, I was more mortified than ever that I had ever loved the Calormene Prince. Peridan helped me retain my dignity by making me feel special and loved, but in subtle ways. And now I'm convinced that I love him. All that is left to happen is for him to ask for my hand in marriage."

"And of course you'll say yes." Saedra concluded, suddenly jealous of Susan. The season of falling in love and waiting for a lover's proposal was something Saedra would never experience again. Her one time had been with Peter, but that had gone very sour.

"Of course!" Susan smiled, and looked down to her right, something catching her eye. "There's another ship coming in, I see. Must be the hundredth we've had. Calormene by the looks of it."

Saedra looked down casually, and then a moment later gasped: "It's my family!"

Ten minutes later, Saedra had run down the hill to greet her Calormene relatives who were just coming down the plank (Susan could be seen a ways back with her skirts hitched up, trying to catch up to Saedra).

"Rahai! Lasaraleen!" Saedra exclaimed, gasping to catch her breath after hugging them. "I was so worried that you wouldn't make it in time. But here you are!"

"Yes, yes here we are," Sadris said crankily as Cradish helped her down to the dock.

Saedra was surprised at how weak her grandmother looked, for her face was pale and she looked thinner than ever. She glanced at Rahai, hoping she would explain their grandmother's condition.

Rahai leaned in and said in a low voice, "Grandmother caught a bad case of the flu just before we left. That's why we're so late getting here. She wasn't really well enough to travel but insisted that she was, and the trip has been hard on her."

"I have been tending to her most of the trip," Lasaraleen added. "I have always been a good nurse."

Saedra was touched that Sadris cared that much to be at her wedding, but knew all the same that her grandmother had probably come out of curiosity. She wanted to see Narnia and its High King more than she wanted to see her granddaughter.

"I'm glad that the Tisroc didn't stop you from coming," Saedra said. "In your last letter, Cradish was trying to decide how to keep the Tisroc from hindering your journey."

"It was simple, really," Cradish said, leading Sadris up to them. "I told the Tisroc (may he live forever) that it would help mend relations between Calormen and Narnia, and of course he couldn't deny that logic. And so we are here."

Saedra wasn't sure whether she should hug her uncle and grandmother, so she just curtsied to them. Just then, Susan finally reached them.

"Sae, Peter and Talia will be here in a moment. I sent word to them before I came down," Susan gasped.

"The High King is coming down _here, _oh Queen_?"_ Sadris asked disbelievingly.

"Yes," Susan smiled.

"Who's Talia?" Sadris asked bluntly.

"She's my daughter," Saedra said, anticipating the responses to her seemingly strange announcement.

"Your…daughter?" Cradish questioned cautiously.

"Yes, I adopted her when I arrived home from Tashbaan," Saedra explained, not wanting to give out too much information. She was sure that Cradish and Sadris would disapprove of her freeing Talia from slavery. _Even Rahai had cautioned me not to get involved, _she remembered, strengthening her resolve not to divulge where Talia had come from.

"Ah, here they are!"

Cradish squinted his eyes. "That…that isn't Aravis Tarkheena, is it? The one who has been missing? The one who Ahoshta was going to marry before she disappeared?"

They all turned to see Peter and Edmund followed by Talia, Aravis, Cor, and Corin.

"It is," Saedra said, not volunteering any more information. If Aravis wanted to tell them her story, that was her place-not Saedra's.

When they reached them, Peter smiled and bowed to Rahai, saying, "What a pleasure to have you here once again, Lady Tarkheena!"

Rahai curtsied and smiled back, "It is a joy to be back, your Majesty." She then curtsied to Edmund, who bowed back. "It is good to see you again, King Edmund."

"It's wonderful to see you again, Lady Rahai. Even though it has been mere months, it seems much longer," Edmund said amiably.

Saedra felt the familiar pangs of jealousy at the attention the two Kings gave to Rahai and quickly said, "Your Majesties, may I introduce our grandmother, Sadris Tarkheena," (here Sadris curtsied with an overly-reverent expression on her face), "and my uncle and Rahai's father, Cradish Tarkaan." (Cradish bowed.) She gestured to Talia to come to her, and Saedra put her arms around her and said, "And this is my daughter Talia."

"Whatever do you need a daughter for?" Sadris interjected before Saedra could introduce them to Talia.

"The same reason anyone needs a daughter, I suppose," Saedra said vaguely.

Aravis, Cor, and Corin, who had been watching the proceedings with interest, were then included in the conversation. After all of the greetings were over-with, they started up to the palace. Some Talking Horses had come down for the guests to ride, and Saedra felt a spark of jealousy when Peter helped Rahai up onto the horse. They were laughing happily about something, and even though she had no right to feel left out, she did. _She _was the bride; _she _was supposed to be care-free, not Rahai.

"Shall I help you onto a horse, Sister?" Edmund said in Saedra's ear, making her jump.

She turned and said light-heartedly, "Ed, I'm not your sister yet!"

"In a day you will be."

"Don't remind me." Saedra rolled her eyes, forgetting herself for a moment. She wasn't used to having to keep up pretenses around Edmund.

Edmund looked at her strangely. "You sound as if you dread it."

She'd slipped up. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed as she tried to backtrack. "Oh, you know. Everyone gets nervous before their wedding."

"I thought most people get excited."

"Well, I guess I'm not like most people," she shrugged, gripping the saddle to pull herself up.

"No, you certainly are not," Edmund agreed in a quieter voice.

She turned back around and looked at him curiously, but he looked away.

"Are you getting on, Duchess?" the Horse said a tad bit impatiently.

Saedra looked up the hill to where her family and the others were riding. They seemed happy and didn't seem to need her, so she said, "No, thank you. I think I'll stay down here for a while. Perhaps King Edmund would like a ride."

She had the idea that she could stay away for an hour or so and not be missed, so that she might enjoy some last moments as a single woman.

"No, thank you," Edmund said. "I think I'll stay down here with Saedra, if she doesn't mind."

If anyone else had asked, she would have, but Edmund was always welcome company. Even _if _she was having personal issues around him. "Thank you for your services, noble Horse. I apologize that we've tarried so long."

The Horse grunted, and as he walked away they could hear him mutter, "Humans!"

Saedra and Edmund looked at each other and grinned. Their smiles melted away as they continued looking at each other, and suddenly Saedra felt uncomfortable. She looked away and walked towards the end of the dock, and Edmund followed her. When she reached the end, she plopped down and hung her legs over the side; Edmund followed suit.

The sat in silence for a while, listening to the lapping of the waves and feeling the heat of the midday sun beat down on them. The business of the palace behind them seemed miles away.

"I don't want it to change," she murmured.

"Don't want what to change?"

"Everything. Just…everything. I don't want to be married, I don't want to have to leave my province for months at a time…"

He studied her, surprised, but she refused to look at him, afraid that she might betray how much she was dreading marriage to Peter. All of a sudden, she realized what she had said.

"Wait, I take that back. I'm just jittery. I do want to get married."

"You do?" he asked.

"Yes, I do."

Still she didn't look at him. If she had, everything might have changed, for he had the look of a man who was willing to risk it all and spill his heart to her if she gave him any indication that she returned his feelings. But she didn't turn and show him just how receptive she would have been to what he had to say.

"Sae, I have to ask you something."

She nodded, looking out over the water.

"If I had volunteered to marry you instead of Peter, would you have said yes?"

Surprised, she turned and looked at him with her mouth slightly ajar. Her heart was beating wildly, and she realized how close Edmund was sitting.

_He didn't sit this close on purpose. Or if he did, he's doing it to comfort me, nothing more. _

Edmund tilted his chin down and raised his eyebrows, still waiting for her answer.

She couldn't stand to be around him anymore. She had been able to bear the last week because he had largely been out of sight, and therefore more out of mind, but having him sitting inches from her and asking a question that she now saw she truly wished had been the case instead…she knew she had to leave before she did something she regretted.

She whispered, "Yes," then stood and fled up to the castle.

* * *

The next morning, her wedding day, Saedra was in a study near the throne room that had been turned into her dressing room. She stood in front of a large mirror with her eyes closed, waiting for the order to open her eyes. Lasaraleen had had the bright idea that they (meaning Susan, Rahai, Lucy, Sadris, Aravis, and herself) would dress Saedra without her knowing what she looked like until the end.

"Can I open my eyes yet?" Saedra asked, trying to sound like she cared. All morning she had been jittery-not with excitement, but with the urge to get the unpleasant ceremony over with. The other women took her nerves to be happy, and so their mood had not been dampened in the least.

"Not yet, not yet!" Rahai giggled. "I still need to secure your veil."

"Do hurry up," Saedra whined. "My legs are already aching, and I haven't even said my vows!"

A minute more of hands arranging things on her head while the other females murmured gleefully in the background, and Susan said, "All done!"

The women stepped back from her as Saedra opened her eyes slowly. When she saw her face, she had to grimace. There were bags under her eyes that, against all efforts from the other women, would not go away. Saedra had had nightmares all night about having to pick between Peter and Edmund, and each time she made a decision she regretted it; then she dreamed that she and Edmund ran away together and Peter killed himself…not the kind of things that would make for a restful night.

"I look tired," she stated.

"By Tash, Saedra!" Lasaraleen said, exasperated. "Is that all you have to say after all of our work?"

Saedra allowed her eyes to wander down her body. She had tried on the white and gold-trimmed dress multiple times already during the fittings back in Archenland, because she had designed the dress herself, mixing the styles of the North and South.

The top half of the dress was the typical Northern style, with exposed shoulders and a nice deal of cleavage showing. The bottom half, however, was inspired by her visit to Tashbaan. The dress continued to hug her hips all the way down to her upper thighs were it suddenly winged out in soft, layered, semi-transparent fabric that was longer in the back and formed her train. Atop her head was a simple veil that was made out of the same fabric as the bottom of her dress. It was held into place by a thin gold crown that circled her head. She had already taken the oaths required to make her an official Narnian and Princess Consort, and so the ceremony was strictly about the wedding celebration itself.

Saedra sighed and half-smiled. "Shall I compliment myself and say that I look very regal indeed?"

"Pish posh! You look just like your mother, that's what you look like," Sadris said in a rare compliment.

Saedra appreciated the compliment deeply because she had heard about how pretty her mother Lalevis had been.

"If I wasn't afraid of getting you wrinkled, I would hug you right now!" Lucy said. "You look radiant."

The door opened, and some of the women shrieked.

"It's only me!" Talia said, then stopped abruptly. "Mother! You look as pretty as Queen Swanwhite herself!"

"Now, I wouldn't go _that_ far, dear," Saedra laughed.

"What news do you bring?" Aravis asked Talia. "You were supposed to keep an eye out for what's going on out there."

"Oh, that's what I came back to tell you all," Talia said, suddenly remembering. "The throne room is very crowded and Father-King Peter is out there waiting, so we'd better go!"

There was a lot of hustle and bustle as the women grabbed their things, kissed Saedra's cheek, and rushed out.

When all of them had left except Saedra and Talia, Talia said, "You really do look wonderful, Mother."

Saedra walked over to her and put her hand on her head. "Thank you, Talia. I love you, you know that?"

Talia grinned. "I know. And I love you too."

They smiled at each other for a moment, and then Saedra said, "We'd better get out there. I think the music's starting."

Talia checked to see that the coast was clear, and then they left the room. They hurried down the hall to the door to the throne room.

When the music shifted from the light-hearted to slow, Talia understood that as her cue to go in. She gripped her handful of flowers and went around the doorway into the throne room. Saedra slowly counted in her head to five and then went around the corner into the entranceway to the hall.

The sight that met her nearly made her mouth drop open in shock. On either side of the aisle down the center of the room stood hundreds upon hundreds of Narnians and Archenlanders, looking at her with happy faces. Not only were there innumerable amounts of people, the room was simply covered in white and yellow flowers. Every couple of meters there would be an arched trellis overflowing with blossoms that she would walk through. On the ground were petals that Talia had scattered. Susan had truly out-done herself in her planning.

As she passed the delighted well-wishers, she looked straight ahead, up the stairs. The four thrones were nearly indistinguishable by the piles of blossoms and by the people standing in front of them. In the center was Oreius, and to his right was Peter in a magnificent outfit of white and gold. Talia was also there, standing behind where Saedra would stand.

Peter was looking at Saedra with tears in his eyes, and Saedra commented to herself, _My, isn't he quite the actor? He is really outdoing himself with these antics. _

Unable to hold Peter's gaze any longer, she looked at the people on the sides of the aisle as she neared the front. There was Tumnus and Lucy (both wiping their eyes with a hanky that they passed back and forth), Susan and Peridan standing with linked arms, and Edmund looking ill (she averted her gaze quickly). Also, Cradish, Sadris, Rahai, Lasaraleen, Cor, Corin, Talia, Aravis, Stamprin, Moonshackle, Remanda, Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, and the Bear family were all looking at her with some amount of happiness. Some were even wiping happy tears away like King Lune was.

_I'm such a fake! All of these people are happier than I will ever be, all because of this marriage. _

When she reached the stairs, she could no longer continue to avoid looking at Peter, for he was standing right in front of her. He held out his arm for her to take and she accepted it, and then he led her up the stairs and in front of Oreius.

The ceremony was short, sweet, and very awkward for Saedra. Having to pretend she loved Peter during the week hadn't been that hard because her every move wasn't being scrutinized by hundreds of creatures. But now, if she even blinked wrong someone might catch on that she was a liar.

_Stop worrying! They're already convinced you love Peter, remember? You have nothing to worry about. They will interpret every expression as one stemming from love._

Peter, for his part, acted beautifully. He seemed genuinely moved by the traditional Narnian vows that they exchanged, and stared at Saedra the whole time. She felt utterly awkward staring up into his eyes, for even though she thought herself impervious to his charms, he was still a devastatingly handsome man. By the time Oreius announced, "I present to you, High King Peter and Princess Consort Saedra," Saedra's cheeks were flushed, because she suddenly remembered a small detail that she had forgotten.

In Narnia it was custom for the groom to kiss the bride at the end of the ceremony after they were presented as husband and wife. And Saedra had completely forgotten about that part.

She swallowed and looked up at Peter as he gently placed his thumb and forefinger on each side of her chin and slowly tilted her face up. He leaned down to her, looking into her eyes as it she was the only person in the room.

_Just kiss me and get it over-with! _she mentally shouted at him, uncomfortable with his gaze. After what seemed like an eternity, his mouth met hers and she could close her eyes.

If she had expected a quick and chaste kiss, she would have been very wrong. For when she started to pull back a second later so that their lips were separated by a breath, Peter simply shifted his head the other way and kissed her again, this time harder.

She was oblivious to the loud cheering that was going on, for every millisecond longer Peter kissed her, she became inexplicably angrier.

_This is ridiculous! He is just doing this to mortify me! _Images of them kissing after practicing sword-fighting, after star-gazing, and after the night at the Bears flew through her mind, torturing her. Why couldn't things have stayed simple with them? Why couldn't this be a year ago, before Peter had stomped on her heart, before he'd squashed her pride?

When he finally pulled back, he looked at her with a surprisingly vulnerable expression that almost convinced _her _that he really was in love with her. It was the same way he used to look at her…

Meanwhile, her cheeks were beet red and her heart was pounding in her chest. Her eyes were glittering angrily, but Peter turned away from her too fast to catch her mood. He held up her hand in his, and the crowd doubled its volume.

She turned her plastered grin towards the crowd. Her eyes roved over her friends, acquaintances, family, and new subjects, and came to rest on a pair of dark, brooding, hard eyes: Eyes that mirrored her elusive inner turmoil, and eyes belonging to a person that she now knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she loved.

She adored him for the way she could confide in him like no other, the way she could be a fool in front of him and get drunk around him and it didn't matter, and the way he could make her feel like a careless adolescent.

But by the will of Aslan or some other dark force, the knowledge had come to her too late. From this moment forward, she was bound to his older brother in matrimony.

Forever.


	22. The Storm

**The Storm**

* * *

During the weeks after the wedding, nothing spectacular happened. The palace slowly emptied until it was just the usual Narnian courtiers and rulers, plus the new additions of Saedra and Talia. Saedra and Peter tended to find something to argue about whenever they were alone, but maintained their farce of appearing in love to everyone else. Talia felt like she was in heaven and adored her new father, following him around whenever he would let her. Being a kind man, he did often.

Peridan asked Susan to marry him the night of Peter and Saedra's wedding, but they wanted to wait a while before deciding on a date. Susan confided to Saedra that she wanted a small wedding with just close friends and family (which surprised Saedra greatly) and that she was not in any rush to get married. She said that she wanted to take her time and enjoy the engagement stage.

Lucy was her normal joyful self and bonded with Talia, but Edmund continued to be moody even after the wedding was over. He seemed to be in pain whenever Peter would show affection-only for appearances, of course-to Saedra, and she began to be wonder at his behavior.

She even started to wonder if Edmund disapproved of her as a match for Peter. Did Edmund think that she wasn't good enough for Peter? Was it because she was half-Calormene? Or was it something else? Something itched her; the answer was on the tip of lips, but it constantly evaded her. She was painfully aware of her new revelation of her own love, but didn't dare venture to hope that he felt similarly for her.

It continued to irk Saedra as the weeks went by, but she was kept busy enough that she could push it away once in a while. She adjusted to life in Cair Paravel nicely, corresponding daily with Gilda down at Harden Castle. She ached to be back home, making sure that Reine didn't come back and try to interfere again, but that hope was thwarted one night at dinner when Edmund said, "Peter, I've been thinking."

"Oh?" Peter said, laughing. "That is a very good hobby to take up, Ed. I commend you for that."

Edmund didn't roll his eyes or reply sarcastically as he normally would have, but said, "It's been a while since we've heard from the Lone Islands, so I was thinking that I'd take a ship and see how things are holding up over there."

"What do you mean, you haven't heard from them?" Saedra asked.

"We're in periodic correspondence with them," Peter explained. "Usually when they send their taxes."

"But they haven't sent last year's dues," Edmund said. "They send it at the end of the year, but it hasn't come yet."

"But it's almost summer!" Lucy pointed out.

"Exactly," Edmund said. "That's why I think I should see what the delay is."

"Good idea, Ed," Susan said from her seat next to Peridan. "But if there's really a problem down there, do you think that just one ship will be able to deal with it?"

"That's a good point," Saedra agreed. "If it seems like there may be _any_ type of issue at all, you should at least take two ships and enough soldiers to be able to protect yourself if need be."

Edmund didn't like that idea. "I was thinking of it as more of a covert operation, just to see what really is transpiring down there. After all, it could be nothing."

"I know I tend to look on the pragmatic side, but look what happened when I left Harden for so long," Saedra replied. "There wasn't _any_ indication of a problem, but one of my father's most trusted advisors practically took over! Here you have some indication of a problem, so you should be more prepared than I was."

"I agree," Peter said. "I think I'll go as well."

"Oh, no, I don't think—" Edmund started, looking disturbed at Peter's announcement.

"I will too," Lucy added, looking excited for an adventure. "And surely Saedra will come too since she and Peter won't want to be separated."

"My ship can be the second one," Saedra volunteered, then turned to Talia. "I don't know if it would be wise for you to come, dear."

She had been worried that Talia would be disappointed, but instead she looked relieved. "Corin and Cor and Aravis are coming up to stay with Mr. Tumnus for the Summer Festival, and I'd rather stay for that anyway."

Saedra smiled. "Then you're all set!"

"But I don't think Su will want to be stuck here all summer by herself," Edmund protested. "I really think I can deal with this myself."

"Oh, that will be no problem," Susan said coyly, then glanced at Peridan. They grinned at each other. "Peridan can help me with anything that comes up. I _have_ ruled by myself before, you know."

Saedra felt a pang of jealousy as the sight of her friend so free in love.

"Sounds like a plan," Peter said. "Let's see if we can be on the water within a fortnight."

* * *

Exactly two weeks later, the _Splendor Hyaline _and the _Forben _pulled out of the Narnian port and were out to sea. Peter and Saedra were on the _Splendor Hyaline,_ and Edmund and Lucy on the slower _Forben. _

As Narnia became smaller and smaller in the distance, Saedra found Peter up in the forecastle and said, "Husband, I'm tired because of the early start. Would you mind telling me where I'll be sleeping?"

Peter turned to the captain with whom he had been talking (Terril was his name) and said, "Please excuse me, Good Sir, but my wife is wondering where she will sleep tonight."

Terril bowed and said understandingly, "Of course, your Majesty. I will take her myself."

He offered his arm to Saedra, and as they walked down the stairs, Saedra said, "You needn't have gone to all this trouble, Captain. You could have just told me where it was. I _have_ been on this ship before."

"It is no great thing, Princess," Terril assured her. "I want to be sure that you'll be comfortable in your arrangements."

They walked across the deck to the back of the large ship, and when they reached the end, Terril opened a door that was on the port side under the poop deck for Saedra to walk through. It took a moment for Saedra's eyes to adjust to the darkness after being in the early morning sun. When she could see, she saw that they were in a sitting room with luscious couches bolted to the floor, a brick fireplace, and handsome pictures on the wall.

"This is your sitting room," Terril explained, even though Saedra had already been in there before. "Through that door in the back is my room. And this door on the left is to your chambers."

She followed him to the door on the left, and they went into the bedroom that Susan and Saedra had shared on the trip back. But instead of there being two twin beds in the room, there was a large king-size bed that was built into center of the room. The room was spacious and nicely furnished.

"High King Peter ordered me to make sure that you would be comfortable on this trip," Terril said. "I had your clothes put into that wardrobe there."

"Thank you, Captain," she curtsied.

"Anything for you, Princess," he said warmly, bowing. He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Saedra wandered around the room, looking though drawers and the closets. There was another wardrobe on the other side of the room from hers, and men's clothes were hung in it.

_That's smart of them to keep clothes in here in case they ever need any, _Saedra thought to herself. _I should do that on the _Forben. _Then I won't ever need to pack!_

Her early morning start weighed on her eyelids heavily, so she crawled onto the comfy bed. _My, this is nice! I wonder where Peter's sleeping. _

She slept soundly all afternoon and didn't wake up until someone knocked on her door to let her know that it was dinner time. She freshened herself up, and went out though the sitting room and out onto the deck.

When she breathed in the fresh, salty air, she grinned. Over the past two weeks she had become more and more excited about this trip to the Lone Islands, and now that she was on the ship and fully rested, she was in a good mood.

As she walked to the galley, she could see the _Forben _a ways behind towards the right, almost in front of the beautiful sunset. There was someone standing in the bow of the other ship, and she wondered if it was Edmund.

Just then, the door to the galley opened. It was Peter. "Princess, I was about to go looking for you. The men are very anxious to eat."

"You're waiting for me?" Saedra said disbelievingly, suddenly feeling guilty for dallying so long.

"We cannot start without the High King's wife now, could we?" Peter said, raising an eyebrow with a slightly amused expression on his face.

"No, of course not." Saedra put her hand into Peter's outstretched one and allowed him to lead her into the galley.

Dinner was pleasant that night, with a spirit of adventure. It was less sumptuous that she had grown accustomed to at Cair Paravel, but was still a small feast. It was mostly men and Dwarves that were on the ship, for they were the creatures in Narnia most suited to seafaring. (For the reader more knowledgeable about Narnian creatures, the water-loving Marshwiggles hadn't ventured south of their Marsh quite yet. That story has yet to be told).

After dinner, Saedra was completely full. She went back to her room, grabbed a book that she was in the middle of that was about a Telmarine romance, and lay down on the bed to read it. A little while later, she heard murmurings from the room next door and figured it was Peter talking with some of the other people.

A few hours later, she was feeling drowsy again and decided to go back to bed for the night. She got up and walked to the wardrobe to change into her nightgown, but when she was wearing only her undergarments, the door suddenly opened.

Saedra shrieked and covered her body with the dress that she had been wearing. She looked up to see that it was Peter, blushing a bright shade of red.

"I'm sorry! I thought you would be in bed already," he explained, closing the door behind him but averting his eyes.

"What are you doing in here at all?" she asked, worried that he had had too much to drink and had come to have fun with his wife.

He looked up in surprise, but then remembered that Saedra was unclothed still and looked away again. "Didn't you know that I was sleeping in here too?"

Saedra blinked. "You jest!"

"I surely do not. I knew you wouldn't be happy about it, but there was no way that I could ask for a separate room without raising suspicion."

"Then…then we have to share the—the…"

"The bed?" Peter finished. "No. I had the couch put in so that I could sleep on it."

Saedra calmed down a notch. "Oh."

"Terril and some other men are still in the sitting room, so how about I turn around and you can finish getting dressed?"

"Okay," Saedra said, trying to hide her nervousness. Peter _was _her husband, but in many ways it was like getting changed in the same room as any other man—only somehow worse. She quickly got changed and hopped into bed, pulling the covers way up. "Done."

"All right. I'll blow out the lamp as soon as I'm done changing," Peter said, going over to the wardrobe that Saedra had mistaken for a back-up stash of clothes.

She knew she was being sneaky, but she was too curious; she settled in so that she was facing his side of the room, and pulled the covers up so they covered her mouth. She then closed her eyes until they were only slits and watched him.

Peter unhooked his cape and hung it up, and then took off his top tunic, which left his blouse underneath.

_What are you doing? _Saedra chastised herself, feeling very delightfully naughty. _If you ever caught him watching you change, you'd kill him!_ But still, curiosity overcame her again and she watched as he pulled off his white blouse, exposing his very muscular back.

Even though no one was watching, Saedra blushed and thought, _By the Lion, this is what am I giving up?_

Suddenly, Peter turned around and looked at her. She quickly shut her eyes and made her breath even and her face peaceful, worried that he knew what she had been doing. After a moment of lying with her eyes closed, she flipped onto her other side, not willing to continue and risk giving Peter the satisfaction of knowing that she'd been peeking.

* * *

The sleeping arrangement worked out well, for the most part. Peter was an early riser and Saedra wasn't at all, so they would only see each other at night. They worked out a routine where Saedra would say, "I'm going to change," and Peter would turn away (or at least she hoped he did: she was too scared to check). Then she would go to bed and he would too, later on.

About a week of sailing passed, and when they were nearing their first stop at Terebinthia, they had a problem…a big problem. They came upon a huge storm in the middle of the night while most of them were sleeping. The _Splendor Hyaline _was a large ship, so it was very rare that while you were onboard that you would know that you were actually on a ship. But suddenly Saedra was awakened by a sharp groan as the ship leaned to the side.

She shot up in bed and looked around. In the dark she could hear that Peter was already up and moving around. "What's going on?" she asked.

"We've hit a storm. Stay in here," he said before rushing out.

The night was a long one. At first it was easy to obey Peter and stay inside, but soon she began to feel claustrophobic and imagined the ship sinking with her still in the cabin. The thunder that kept on pounding and the lightning that kept on flashing though the windows didn't help either. When she started hearing yelling after a flash of lightning, she couldn't bear it any longer. She climbed out of bed, walked out of the room and through the sitting room, and opened the door to the deck.

The sight that met her made her gasp. The deck was covered in water from waves crashing over the side, and men and Dwarves were running back and forth trying to secure the sails that didn't want to cooperate. People were yelling at each other, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She recognized Terril as he ran past her doorway, and she stepped out into the drenching rain to catch up to him.

It only took her a few seconds to grab him, but it seemed longer as she tried not to slip. Her bare feet slid on the soaking wood and her balance was unsteadied by the tilting of the boat, but she managed to grip Terril's arm to get his attention. He whipped around.

"What's going on?" she yelled, trying to be heard.

"You shouldn't be out here!" he replied, trying to push her towards the door.

"No! First tell me what's happening!"

"What's that?" he said, leaning in to hear her.

"Tell me what the fuss is about!"

He pointed somewhere behind the ship where a light could barely be seen though the rain. "The _Forben_ was hit with lightning!"

She released his arm, dumb with shock.

"Now, go back inside!" he said, pushing her back. He got her to the door, opened it, shoved her inside, and closed it behind him.

The silence inside seemed stifling. Her ship had been hit by lightning…Not only were Archenlander sailors aboard, but Edmund and Lucy were too! She felt helpless with nothing to do but pace the room, look out the windows—which didn't help at all—and occasionally peek out the door, which didn't help either because the rain was coming down in sheets.

Finally the door opened, and Peter and Edmund stumbled in, carrying a limp person. The only distinguishable thing on the person was the long, light hair and soppy dress: it was Lucy. Peter and Edmund were soaked to the bone and looked like they were ready to faint.

"You're alive!" Saedra exclaimed as they laid Lucy on the couch by the cold fire. "How did you—"

"Barely made it," Edmund cut her off, gasping. "We lost the _Forben _and many men. But we're still keeping an eye out in case they manage to swim near the ship."

The two men went over to the cupboard, grabbed the bread that was in it, and ate ravenously.

"I can help!" Saedra volunteered. "I'm not anywhere as tired as you all are."

"No!" Peter said firmly, his mouth full. "Stay in here. Watch Lu."

"But Peter—"

"I mean it, Saedra! Stay in here. That's an order." Peter took a swig of wine then strode across the room and went back out into the storm.

"Ed, you know I'm not helpless!" she said, hoping Edmund would understand. "You rest and watch Lu."

"I know you aren't," he said tiredly. "But please…I beg you, stay here."

"Ed—"

Edmund dropped his food on the table and put his hands on her shoulders, leaning in. "Sae, please. If anything happened to you…I don't know what I'd do. I know you want to help, but please," he begged, looking deep into her eyes, "watch Lucy."

"All right," she said, unnerved by the way Edmund was looking at her.

"I need you to promise me not to leave this room," he said, gently shaking her shoulders.

"I promise," she swallowed. "I promise, Ed. I won't leave this room."

Edmund stared into her eyes as if deciding whether he believed her or not. A moment later he planted a hard kiss on her forehead and fled the room.

After he left, Saedra stood facing the door for several moments without moving. The wet place where he had kissed her burned her skin. She was numb—numb with shock and realization.

She didn't know what it was that told her. Maybe it was his earnest expression, maybe it was the rough kiss. Maybe it was the unthought-of reasons in the back of her mind about why he was acting the way he was. Maybe it was the memories that were racing around her mind.

Lucy's voiced entered her head. "_Ed has been in love with a mysterious woman for years…He said that he had found her a long time ago, and that someday he would marry her…" _

Then came Edmund's reply: _"I don't want the woman I love to feel obligated to love me back..._ _I will not declare my love until I'm certain that she returns it…"_

"Oh, Ed!" Saedra gasped. Images of her and Edmund dancing at parties, him staring down at her so attentively, flooded her vision. Him selflessly getting Peter to talk to her at Rabadash's going-away party when he knew Saedra had feelings for Peter.

She buried her face in her hands, not wanting to remember—but wanting to all the same.

…Edmund's face when she told him that she loved him when she was drunk at Lasaraleen's party…Him unabashedly flirting with her in the Splendor Hyaline's galley after escaping Tashbaan…Him being broody ever since the engagement between her and Peter…Asking her the day before her wedding what she would have said if he asked for her hand in marriage instead…Edmund and Peter hardly speaking to each other ever since the wedding…

All these things confirmed the passion that she had seen in his eyes as he begged her not to risk her life. She knew. There was no question about it now…there was only the question of what she would do now that she knew.

She sank to her knees in front of the unconscious Lucy, staring at her sopping wet face...oblivious to the tilting of the ship, the yelling of the men outside.

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. She knew, and it was too late to do anything about it.

Edmund loved her too.


	23. Mired in the Truth

**Mired in the Truth**

* * *

"Pardon me, Princess, but the Kings would like an update on their sister."

Saedra sat up straight in her chair and looked around drowsily. As she glanced about the cabin, the previous night's events quickly came back to her. There was Lucy on the bed looking feverish, and a Dwarf was in the doorway looking uneasy for disturbing Saedra.

_I must have dozed off while watching Lucy, _Saedra thought to herself. No one could blame her, for judging by the light coming in through the window it was late afternoon, and she hadn't slept all night out of anxiety about what she knew about Edmund, on top of Lucy's health.

The revelation that Edmund loved her was eating away at her. She had been safe with the illusion that Edmund saw her only as a sister and could respond to it accordingly. But now that she was certain, beyond a doubt that he loved her as she had grown to love him—no, he had loved her for much, much longer. If he had _truly _loved her that long...her feelings for him paled in comparison.

The knowledge that Edmund had (for reasons she couldn't begin to fathom) been in love with her for ages didn't make her happy the way people usually are when they realize that their love is reciprocated. Was it because she was married now? Was she becoming loyal to Peter against her own will? Or was it simply grief that she hadn't married Edmund instead of Peter? Whatever it was, it was gnawing at her, and the pain her stomach hadn't eased.

The thing that bothered her most was that, though it hadn't been blatantly obvious, there was a tension between Peter and Edmund that she hadn't seen before. Did Peter know that Edmund had feelings for her?

"Thank you. I'll be right out."

The Dwarf bowed and backed out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Saedra looked down at her sweaty sister-in-law, brushed back the hair from her forehead, and whispered, "I'll be back in a few minutes, Lu," even though she doubted that the young woman could hear her.

When she went outside, the brightness blinded her for a moment; the storm had passed as she slept. She squinted and spotted Peter and Edmund standing towards the starboard side of the boat talking, so she took in a deep breath and went over to them. When they saw her, they stopped talking and gave her their full attention.

"How's Lu?" Peter asked anxiously. "Any better?"

"I can hardly tell. She hadn't come out of the daze yet, and I don't know if it'd be better to have her sleep than to wake her up. She's awfully feverish as well."

Edmund slapped the railing angrily. "If only we had brought the cordial onboard!"

Lucy had insisted that they keep it back home so it could be there if Susan ever saw a need for it, and also so that they wouldn't lose it on the trip.

"There's no helping that now," Peter said. "We just need to focus on getting to land as soon as possible."

"And when might that be?" Saedra asked Peter. She had hardly glanced at Edmund since coming over; she felt immensely uncomfortable.

"The storm blew us over half a day off course, so it will be almost two days before we reach Terebinthia," Peter replied grimly. "Can she hold out that long?"

Saedra looked very uneasy. "I sure hope so, but I can't shake the feeling that I might be forgetting something that might help her. I could be doing her more damage than help at this point, and two days may do her in."

"Then we can only hope that Aslan has guided your hand," Peter said.

Saedra only shook her head and rubbed her face with her hands.

Peter put his hand on her shoulder and said, "Saedra, I trust you. You are a resourceful woman and I have every confidence that Lucy is safe in your hands."

"High King Peter!" a steward came up to them. "The Captain wishes to speak to you."

Peter nodded and turned to his brother and wife. "I will see you both at dinner." He followed the steward to the front of the ship.

Silence followed as the two of them watched him walk away.

Finally Edmund said, "How are you holding up?"

Saedra grunted, and her eyes darted up to him. "I'm fine, but I should ask you the same question. I haven't been up all night trying to save my shipmates' lives."

The shadow of a smile crossed his lips. "I'll be fine. I was just asking because I knew it bothered you to stay inside during the storm."

She shook her head. "I'm past that now. My only goal is to try to keep Lucy alive." She looked out over the calm waters while Edmund continued to study her.

She and Edmund stood at the railing silently, each in their own thoughts. Saedra wanted to break the silence; she just didn't know what to _say _to Edmund!

_This is probably what Edmund was afraid of in the beginning: That our friendship would be wrecked by romance coming between us. _

_But would a romance come between us or make us closer? _

She looked over at Edmund and was startled to find his brown eyes already fixed on her. Her stomach twisted with a nervousness that she had never felt around him this acutely.

"Are you alright, Sae?" Edmund asked. "You look unwell."

"I'm just a bit fatigued," she smiled, shaking her head. "I had better go check on Lu."

She turned to go, but he grabbed her hand. "Sae, let me watch Lu. You get some rest."

"You need rest more than I do," she said. "I'll be fine."

She patted his hand and went over to the cabin, leaving Edmund watching her with an expression that showed that he had sensed her discomfort and was troubled by it.

* * *

"My dear, wait!"

Saedra turned around to see Peter jogging down the Terebinthian castle's passageway after her.

They had just finished their third lunch with the leaders of the island, Lord Iras and his wife Lady Eraka, and Saedra had nearly suffocated under the pressure of trying to act as naturally as she could around Edmund. The past three days since landing had been a perfect nightmare for her, since Lord Iras insisted in entertaining the esteemed rulers of the free land of Narnia in any way possible (and of course that included the Princess Consort). Therefore, Edmund and Saedra were nearly always in each other's company, and more and more it wore on her. Saedra had to continue to pretend to be in love with Peter, all the while trying not to act differently around Edmund.

It seemed impossible. By virtue of having to think about how to act around Edmund, she _was _acting differently, and she knew it. To get away from Edmund and Peter (who still seemed to be unusually quiet around each other), she would go for long walks around the pretty, peaceful island.

"Husband!" Saedra said, trying to sound pleased that Peter was following her, in case someone overheard.

In reality, all she wanted was to go on a solitary stroll. The foggy climate reminded her somewhat of her home at Harden Castle, and it gave her a temporary sense of peace to walk through the town.

"I was wondering if I might speak with you," Peter said once he reached her. "Do you have a moment?"

"I was just going to walk down to the town…" Saedra said.

_Take the hint, Peter. I don't want to talk. _

He ignored the hint. "Then allow me to accompany you." He held out his arm for her to take, and she took it reluctantly.

As they left the stone mansion, Saedra asked, "What did you wish to speak to me about?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes. I have noticed that you have been acting differently since the storm, and I think that in our attempt to bring Lucy back to health that we have neglected you," Peter said.

She knew he was being thoughtful, but still it annoyed her that he was treating her like a fragile doll. "I'm not a child, Peter. I don't feel 'neglected.'"

"Perhaps that was bad choice of words," Peter admitted. "It just seems like all of the attention has been on Lu and that we have been ignoring you, particularly Edmund and myself."

She laughed shortly as they passed through the iron gates that marked the boundaries of the Lord's mansion. "Peter, truly. I'm fine. The Lord and Lady have been nothing but gracious since we arrived. I don't lack anything."

_Except knowing how to act around Edmund now, but you certainly can't help me with that. _

There was no way she was going to trouble Peter by telling him how his brother had been in love with his wife for years.

They walked over the damp grass down the slope of the hill around the residence without speaking for a while. The grass was cut very short by all of the sheep that the island raised and allowed to graze on the numerous green hills. The ocean was visible on the other side of the quiet town that lay in a shallow valley beneath the Lord's mansion.

"If there was something bothering you, would you tell me?" Peter asked.

Saedra didn't know what to say at first. "Why—yes! You have never known me to hold my tongue if I have something to say, have you?"

"No," he almost chuckled. "But that's only when you're angry with me. If you had something that bothered you but didn't make you angry, would you tell me?"

"I could ask you the same question," she replied, but not harshly.

"Perhaps not," Peter confessed.

"And nor would I expect or want you to. You don't owe me access to the deepest parts of your mind, as I don't with you."

"But what if I wanted access?" he asked.

That threw her for a moment. "Then I am sorry. I will not volunteer information that is unnecessary for you to know. But if you ask me a question, I see no reason not to answer it. Is there something pressing on your mind?"

Peter pursed his lips and gestured that they should veer their course over to the left to go around the town instead of through. It was apparent that he didn't want their conversation overheard by anyone but the occasional goat.

"You must promise to answer me truthfully or not answer the question at all."

"Have I ever told you a falsehood?" she replied with a hint of indignance.

"I haven't caught you in one yet."

Now fully annoyed, she glared up at him. To her surprise, however, he was grinning down at her. She realized that he had been teasing her, and her expression melted.

"What's the question?" she asked.

He looked away and didn't reply immediately. Finally he said, "Do you have a lover?"

She blinked. "Pardon me?"

"You heard the question."

"I did, but I don't understand it. What makes you ask me that?"

"Oh, I don't know," Peter said in an overly-casual tone. "Maybe the fact that you have been acting secretive and hardly saying a word to me or Ed, been going out for long solitary walks that would suggest that you have something pressing on your mind or that you are running from something, or the fact that you look guilty right now."

"I do not look guilty!" she protested. "I'm surprised, that's all. I didn't know that these things were signs of marital infidelity."

"Maybe not for someone else, but for you they are signs."

"And what makes me so special?"

"Because I know you."

She sighed and said, "Peter, honestly. Do I really need to deny these charges?

"It would ease my mind greatly, yes. But only if you are telling the truth."

"I can honestly say that even though I _might_ desire a lover, I know that the troubles it would cause the both of us. Besides, no man would be dumb enough to cross the High King of Narnia, so even if I wanted a lover, none would volunteer. So no, I do not have a lover, nor do I intend to take one on."

"How reassuring," he said sarcastically. "You want one but can't have one is what you are saying."

"You wanted the truth," she replied. "Are you happy now?"

"Happy? No. Mollified, yes."

"Good. Then you must excuse me, I don't wish to keep you any longer," she said, curtsying.

"Will you not come back with me?" he asked. "It looks like rain."

"No, thank you. I desire some more exercise today."

"Are you sure? You've been having too much exercise…you're so thin these days! We don't want you catching an illness now that Lucy is recovering."

"I'll be fine," she said firmly, not caring for his opinion.

It was true that her weight had been decreasing, but it was the least of her worries. She had never been a thin woman, so it would take more than a couple of weeks of a loss of appetite and strolling to have an effect on her.

"I'll see you at supper. Good day."

* * *

Though Saedra was too proud to admit it, Peter had been right about the rain. When she got back to the mansion, she was soaked from head to toe and utterly miserable. She had stayed out so long, not wanting to go back to the castle and see Edmund, that it was nearly completely dark when she stumbled back inside and went up to the room she shared with Peter.

She peeled off her dripping dress and undergarments, shivering in the cold room. There was a fire in the fireplace, but it had been recently lit and the warmth hadn't spread throughout the room yet. She quickly put on some dry clothes and hung the wet ones by the fire to dry, then left the room and went down the hall to Lucy's chamber.

She knocked on the door lightly and heard Lucy's muffled voice say, "Come in." Lucy was sitting up in front of the roaring fire, wrapped in a thick quilt and eating her dinner.

"What happened to you?" Lucy asked as Saedra walked over. "Your hair is soaked and you look as pale as death!"

Saedra sighed and sat down. "I was out walking and got caught in the rain. I'm fine though."

"Here, have some tea to warm you up," Lucy said, reaching over to the tray on the table next to her.

"Thanks," Saedra said gratefully, taking the cup from her. "You're looking much better."

"I do feel better. I wanted to go down to dinner tonight, but Peter told me that I should stay up here for one more night. He was muttering something like, 'At least we'll still have one healthy woman.'"

"He must have been talking about me," Saedra said. "We'd been out walking and it looked like rain, so he told me to go inside, but I wanted to stay out some more by myself."

"You have been doing that a lot lately, I hear," Lucy observed. "Going off by yourself, I mean. Is something troubling you?"

Saedra didn't want to lie, but there was no good reason to tell Lucy what she knew, just as there had been none for Peter. "I've just been walking around the countryside. Terebinthia is really peaceful and pretty, if a bit rainy."

Lucy didn't buy her half-hearted explanation. "Peter's worried about you."

"Is he now? What did he say?"

"Nothing. He didn't need to. He's my brother, after all. I can just see the worry on his face whenever someone talks about you."

"What do you think he's worried about?"

Lucy studied Saedra evenly. "You tell me."

"I tell you? I have no idea!"

"Saedra, you're his wife and you don't have any idea what might be bothering him. Doesn't that trouble you at all? Don't you think that maybe that is why Peter is troubled in the first place—that you don't know or care to know his mind?"

Saedra was taken aback at the reproving tone of her voice and stuttered, "I—I don't know."

_There's no point hiding the truth from Lucy, _she decided then and there. _I will disclose the truth of our relationship to her. _

"Lucy, I have to admit something to you. No one knows this besides Peter and myself. The truth is, our marriage is purely political. Peter and I have no special feelings for each other; in fact we can barely tolerate each other. Right after our wedding, we would fight almost every day behind closed doors. The number of spats has gone down recently, but it's not because we have become close, it's because we have little desire to talk to each other. Just today we disagreed, and that is probably why Peter was grumpy."

Saedra had expected Lucy to be surprised, but it was Saedra who ended up surprised when Lucy said, "I expected as much."

"You knew?" Saedra said, alarmed. _If Lucy has figured it out, everyone else must surely know!_

"Saedra, Peter and I have always been close. I'll admit I was fooled along with everyone else at first, but after you both got married, I quickly figured it out."

"Who else knows?"

"I have talked with Tumnus about this, but besides him, no one. Susan is too enamored with Peridan to suspect anything, and Edmund is just too moody to focus on anything besides himself right now."

Saedra grimaced, as the mere thought of Edmund was like twisting a knife in her stomach.

Lucy misinterpreted Saedra's unhappy expression, leaned forward, and said in a more compassionate tone. "It's okay, Saedra. I don't hold any of this against you. All I want is for you and Peter to be happy, so I wish you two would talk things through."

"Believe me, Lucy, I have tried. But Peter simply refuses to talk about some things that are vital to me being able to trust him, so we can't move forward."

"Peter must have a good reason," Lucy said, implicitly trusting her older brother to do the right thing. "You need to trust him."

Not wanting to get into an argument with Lucy about Peter's integrity, Saedra just nodded.

As soon as Lucy was on her feet and the _Splendor Hyaline _was repaired and restocked, they left Terebinthia. Saedra had been dreading being cooped up on the same ship as Edmund again, but she had some consolation that she wouldn't be sharing a room with Peter anymore; he had graciously given up his spot in the cabin for Lucy to stay in.

As the _Splendor Hyaline _sailed on, Saedra passed her time hiding out in their cabin and reading books that the Lady Eraka had been kind enough to give her upon hearing of her enjoyment of reading. It was stressful enough to be in Edmund's presence during meals in the galley when they would usually be seated near each other, but she didn't want to run into him on deck. She didn't need him to ask her why she was being so strange around him (she had _no_ doubt that he noticed her awkward behavior), because she had no idea what she would say. However, she wasn't sure how much longer it would be before she cracked under the pressure.

The time when she would get some exercise to keep from too cooped up was after most people had already gone to bed and it was dark outside. She would walk around the deck, the poop, and the forecastle, and stare at the stars that seemed to get even brighter the farther they were from Narnia.

One such night as they were nearing the Lone Islands, Saedra was on the forecastle and staring up at the night sky when she heard someone coming up the stairs. She turned around to see who it was, for at this time of night people rarely came up there. They would be back on the poop deck minding the tiller if they were on duty.

The man finished climbing the stairs, casually walked forward a bit, and then stopped dead when he spotted her. By then, her heart was pounding hard, because she knew who it was.

"Ed!" Saedra said in a light voice. "What are you doing up at this hour?"

He walked over to the railing, hesitated for a moment as if working up the courage to say something, and said, "I didn't know you were up here, but I'm glad that you are. I've been meaning to ask you something." He paused then asked, "Have you been well lately, Sae?"

Saedra averted her eyes and said in the same light voice, "The same as usual."

Edmund bit his lower lip and nodded, as if her lame answer had shown him the truth.

"When did you find out?" he asked in a low voice.

"Find out?" she asked, looking up at him.

He nodded, his gaze showing that he knew that _she_ knew what he was talking about.

She looked away again and sighed, "Right after the storm. It just...clicked."

Edmund took in a large breath. "And...how do you feel about it?"

"I'm shocked. And flattered. And I don't know what to do." What had once been love for Edmund had morphed into a dull pity for him and for herself. Hope had vanished the day she had married Peter that anything might be different.

"That is what I was afraid of," he admitted in a low voice. "That is why I kept my silence."

"But why didn't you say anything before the wedding?"

"I thought you loved Peter."

Saedra was becoming numb with all of the emotions in her cancelling each other out, so she hardly reacted.

So, Edmund had given up his happiness for what he thought would make her happy. That was the answer she had been waiting for, and it seemed so simple she couldn't believe she hadn't guessed it before.

She had never felt so _stuck _before in her life. She felt like she couldn't move, couldn't breathe, literally and figuratively. She had brought this whole situation upon herself: she had planted the idea of her and Peter being a good match in Lune's mind, she had fallen in love with Peter while being oblivious to Edmund's feelings, and she had married Peter without first trying to know how Edmund felt about it.

And now...now she could do nothing. There was no question of whether she would allow herself to be run away with feelings for Edmund...there were no more feelings to be spent. She felt emotionally drained from the stress of the past weeks.

She surfaced from her thoughts to find herself still standing next to a silent Edmund.

"So, what now?" Edmund asked in a breathless voice when she looked over at him.

Did she dare tell him that she lovedhim? Give him the slightest temptation to begin an illicit relationship with his brother's wife? Fulfill his dreams of being with the woman he adored, even for a little while?

No. She knew that while they might enjoy a romance for a while, the strain would wear on them both. Edmund loved Peter as well, and the guilt would ruin him. Saedra would risk her own future, and in so doing, Talia's.

He was looking at her in such a way that she knew the same thoughts were running through his mind. She hated to see him so tormented, and almost willing to do something so…wrong.

Therefore, though she knew it would hurt him profoundly, she croaked, "It's getting late, brother. I think I will go to bed now." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Good night."

And she simply walked away, leaving the younger man staring at her retreating back.


	24. A Close Call in Narrowhaven

**A Close Call in Narrowhaven**

* * *

Saedra knew that she hurt Edmund by walking away, but she had no idea how much until the next day at lunch. If things before their midnight talk had been strained, now they were impossible. Edmund refused to look at her, and Saedra was aching with guilt at her insensitivity.

But what could she have done? If she had stayed, they would have either stood in painful, unbearably awkward silence, or would have done something thoughtless and rash. Either way, Saedra was glad that she had left, but she still felt _terrible. _

Even worse, she was now confused about her own feelings. She still cared for Edmund deeply, but the knowledge that he cared for her as well had changed something in her. He had been so long-suffering in his adoration of her, giving up his own happiness for hers…it made her feel unworthy, knowing that he was an infinitely better person that she would ever be. She continued to feel nothing but a dull pain in her stomach every time she thought of him, and she didn't know what that meant.

Edmund and Saedra's overcast moods hung over them during lunch, even affecting Peter and Lucy. Conversation continued around them, but their part of the table was uncomfortable and stifled.

"Felimath is beautiful, is it not?" Lucy said in a fake-cheerful voice, trying to make some conversation.

"Felimath?" Saedra asked, coming out of her daze and looking up from where she was picking at her food.

"Did you not notice the island when you were out on deck? We're passing the first Lone Island, and it is the prettiest little thing I have ever seen!" Lucy said, encouraged that she had at least dragged Saedra out of her stupor. "I should so like to walk on it! It has the sweetest grassy knolls."

"We probably can walk there, once we make contact with the governor in Narrowhaven," Peter said, joining the conversation.

"Speaking of which, what are we going to do now that we've lost the _Forben?_" Saedra asked. "We've diminished our impressiveness now, coming in with only one ship."

"If they're still friendly to Narnia, it doesn't matter if we're impressive," Lucy pointed out. "The problem is determining whether that is so or not."

"Perhaps we could send some people in to assess the situation," Saedra suggested. "When that person comes back and reports, we can decide what to do from that information."

"But who can do it? Only a human could go undetected, and we are few on this ship," Peter pointed out. "I would instantly volunteer, but I have the misfortune of being famous enough that I would probably be recognized."

"I could do it," Edmund volunteered, surprising them all by speaking.

"But you're a famous face too," Lucy pointed out, "As am I."

"Then it looks like I shall have to do it," Saedra said. "I'm not famous."

"You're the High King's wife!" Lucy said. "If anything, you're more famous than Ed or me!"

"The _idea_ of me may be famous, but I doubt images of my face have surfaced here. Most importantly, though, is the fact that I look Calormene. I blend in well with the diverse blend of nationalities I've heard they have here and won't be given a second look."

"I don't like it," Peter shook his head, "but you do have a point. Someone should go with you, to pose as a husband and to keep you safe. Maybe I could adopt a disguise…"

"Your light hair would stand out too much," Lucy pointed out. "I think Ed should do it. He is the man with the darkest features."

Edmund did not like that suggestion at all. "Oh, I don't think that would work!"

"Why not?" Lucy asked. "It makes the most sense."

Edmund could offer no decent reason why not, so their impromptu plans were finalized.

The next day, Saedra and Edmund dressed up in common clothes that had been found deep in a trunk in the bottom of the ship. They were lowered in a rowboat over the side of the ship, and soon it was just the two of them with Edmund rowing the boat towards shore under the early-morning sun.

Saedra desperately wanted to talk to Edmund, to clear the air between them. "Edmund, I need to apologize about my rude behavior last night. It was-"

"Don't apologize," Edmund interrupted. "You did the right thing. Don't apologize."

"I could have been more considerate," she ventured.

"No, your actions were exactly what I needed at the time to shake me out of my dream world. The fact is that there is no way on Aslan's green earth that we will ever be together. I have brought this upon myself, and I need to pay for my rash decisions."

There was nothing Saedra could think of to reply to that, so they rode the rest of the way in uncomfortable silence.

* * *

After dragging their boat ashore and hiding it, they journeyed into Narrowhaven. It was midday when they reached the local tavern, hoping to overhear something that might tell them about the governor of the island. They sat at the counter on the high stools and sipped the hard drinks that they had ordered. The place was full of filthy laborers on their lunch break and questionably-dressed women.

"Well, hello there, missy," a grubby man who might have been the same age as Saedra said, slipping onto a stool on her other side. Some of his friends were sitting down on his other side. "What's a pretty lass like ya doing in here?"

"She's with me," Edmund said, leaning over, his face dirty from the mud he had smeared on it to blend in.

"Ah!" the man said. "'Tis a shame. Fine specimen of flesh as I've ever seen around here."

Saedra's face burned with embarrassment at the way he was talking, but only looked down at her cup. She had never been leered at before in her life. She had been offended by the looks she had gotten from the men in Tashbaan, but that was nothing in comparison to this.

"I'm willing to beat whatever this pal's paying ya," the man continued. "I'll give ya ten crescents."

His friends cackled and elbowed each other.

"Look, _pal-_" Edmund started angrily.

"I wasn't talking to you, idiot, I was talking to the wench! It's a free trade land, so she can take the highest bidder. Or, you could just have her when I'm done."

Saedra swallowed, aching to slap the man—at the very least. How dare he treat her like this!

_Calm yourself! You can't act suspiciously. Besides, he has a whole gang with him. _

"So whaddaya say, missy?"

Saedra looked up at the man for the first time since he sat down. He wasn't ugly, in fact he was pretty good-looking. He had the same coloring as her, looking like a mix of Northern and Southern.

"Thank you, but I'm with this man," she said simply and looked away.

He stared at her as if waiting for more of a reaction. Finally he poked her hard and said, "Are ya deaf, bitch?"

"No," she said numbly, hoping that Edmund would step in.

They had intended to pretend to be a married couple, but it was apparent that this was not the kind of place that married couples went to. In fact, the only women in the room were harlots or something very close. The people nearby were watching the incident with curiosity.

"Sir, kindly leave this woman alone," Edmund said.

"'Kindly leave this woman alone,'" the man mocked. "What are you, some kind of queer?" He focused back on Saedra. "I'm giving you one last chance not to do something you'll regret, bitch."

Saedra's face turned beet red, and she was quivering with anger. She gritted her teeth, formed a rude hand gesture, and stuck it right in the man's face. She had never done it before, but it felt good-at least for a moment.

He growled with rage, grabbed her neck, and slammed her against Edmund. There were gasps from the spectators, but no one moved to help. Saedra's eyes widened in shock.

Edmund stood up to fight the man, his face more furious than she had ever seen it before. But before he could do anything, the man nodded his head towards Edmund, and his friends went around and grabbed him so that he couldn't move. Edmund struggled furiously, staring at Saedra and yelling threats, but it was useless.

"Now you aren't so cheeky, are ya slut?" the man growled, squeezing her neck until she was sure she would have bruises.

Saedra shook her head quickly through his hands, longing to breathe fully. For the first time, she was actually worried about their safety. The feeling was completely foreign to her, the thought that she was in true physical danger.

"I daresay ya have changed yer mind," he continued.

She nodded her head wildly through his fingers, seeing sparks from her airway being cut off.

"Good. Then come with me."

He released her roughly and she rubbed her throat, gasping for breath. He grabbed her coughing form and pulled her towards the back of the tavern where there was a staircase that led upward to the inn's rooms. She looked around the saloon, hoping someone would speak up, but people were avoiding her gaze. He dragged her up to the second floor and threw her through the nearest doorway, so that she fell to the hard stone floor and banged her knees.

But as he turned to lock the door, she got up on her feet, ready to fight him. As soon as he turned around, she grabbed his shoulders and bashed her knees up into his groin. He howled and doubled over in pain, but before she could land another blow, he smacked his hand right into her chest, throwing her backwards against the side of the bed. She cried out in pain as her back smashed against the wooden baseboard.

He stepped forward and kicked at her, but she rolled out of the way just in time. His foot crashed into the baseboard, and he growled angrily. The force of his kick left him off balance, and that second was just what she needed to stand up and swing her fist at his face. Unfortunately, he saw her arm and ducked his head, so she missed completely. He grabbed her wrist as it passed his face and leered at her.

"Ya think yer so tough, do you? I'll make ya pay for yer cheek!"

He had pulled her so close to him that she could smell his foul breath. Unable to move any other part of her body to her advantage, she kneed him again in the same spot. His grip momentarily loosened and she wriggled her hands free. She spun around and ran to the door, fumbling with the locks.

All of a sudden, something sharp and cold was pressed up against her neck. She froze.

"Don't move an inch or I will slice that pretty little head off yer body."

He wrapped his free arm around her waist, turned her around, and then half-carried her back to the bed.

"Don't even think of screaming, or I'll make ya wish ya were dead."

_If I can't get out of this, I _will_ w_i_sh I was dead! _she thought frantically, scouring the room for something that might help her. _I should have brought a knife! I should have brought a knife! _

Edmund was armed, but that did her no good now.

He pushed her face-down on the bed and started fumbling with the bottom of her skirt with his free hand. The knife was still pressed against the back of her neck.

As she started feeling his hands on her, hot, angry tears sprung up in her eyes. _What's the good of being able to fight in battle if you can't even defend yourself from being violated? _She had been hoping that Edmund might come in, but as the minutes had ticked past, that hope had diminished.

Her undergarments were being pulled off, and she was faced with the unbearable choice of whether she would let this happen to her or run the risk of being killed. Was it better to be raped or dead?

She decided to use the last card she had to play. "You—you have no idea what you are doing. I am a woman of noble birth."

He snorted. "And I am the King of Narnia."

The moment of decision had come. She could either fight a man with a knife or allow him to…do the unthinkable. The problem was that there was no way for her to turn her head or roll over without being sliced by the knife. She started panicking as she felt his weight shift as he came up behind her. She started seeing spots as the panic flooded her body, and she came near to fainting.

Suddenly, the door crashed open off of its hinges and there was the sound of fast footsteps. Her face was planted on the bed so she couldn't see what was happening.

"Hey-" the man started and he must have turned around to see who it was, but was stopped by another voice.

"Give me the knife," a cold, furious voice said. It took Saedra a moment before she realized it was Edmund.

The pressure behind her neck eased.

"Now get up slowly, and don't make a sound," Edmund ordered.

The man obeyed, and Saedra was able to turn over. She quickly pulled down her skirt, embarrassment and shame at being seen in such a position by Edmund burning on her face.

Edmund was standing, holding a dagger to the man's throat with the knife in the other hand. "Your life is forfeit for touching a Lady of Narnia, but because we've come for information, I'll allow you to live a moment longer," Edmund said coolly.

Shaking like a leaf, Saedra bent down to the ground for her undergarments and tried to slip them up in as dignified a manner as possible. The man looked alarmed, but his eyes darted over to Saedra eagerly as she did so.

Edmund jabbed the sword a millimeter into his neck and snarled, "Look at me, you filth! Saedra, close the door."

She got up to obey and locked it, then went to Edmund's side with her arms wrapped around herself. She breathed in and out slowly to calm her nerves.

Blood started seeping out of his neck, and the man said in a terrified manner, "What do you want?"

"Is Cecill still the governor?" Edmund asked.

The man blinked, thinking Edmund was mocking him.

"Answer me!" Edmund shouted.

"N-no! He died last year. His son Cedric is the governor now," he stuttered.

"Tell me about Cedric."

"He's about twenty…popular with the women…"

"Does he acknowledge the over-lordship of Narnia?"

"Huh?"

"Do you need me to repeat the question?" Edmund asked through gritted teeth.

"I don't know what 'acknowledge' means but his pa liked Narnia enough and they have the same views."

"So this Cedric does not have any ill-will towards Narnia?"

"No, I heard that he was crazy about it as a young'un, so I don't think he'd be against it now."

"Do you have anything else to ask him, Sae?" Edmund asked without taking his eyes off of the man.

"Yes. Are all men on this island as vile as you?" she asked with revulsion on her face.

The man laughed a bit, thinking she was joking, but when he saw the completely serious expressions on both of their faces he sobered up.

"Well?" Edmund asked.

"Er…I dunno."

"Anything else, Sae?" Edmund asked.

"Do I get to kill him or will you?" she asked.

The man's eyes widened.

"It is your choice," Edmund said.

"But ya said-" he started.

"I said that I would allow you to live for a few moments more, but what you were about to do this Lady is unpardonable, even were you are more couth man."

"You kill him," Saedra said, filled with just wrath and enjoying the fright on the man's face. "I've had enough of him."

"Very well," Edmund said. "What is your name?"

"Emit."

"Any last words, Emit?"

"Don't kill me! I didn't know that she was a Lady! Please, I beg ya!" His hands were in a prayerful position and tears started spilling out of his eyes at the thought of dying.

"Doesn't feel so good to be in the other position, does it?" Saedra asked.

"Have mercy!"

"It's more merciful to end such a pitiful and _pitiless _life," Saedra said scathingly. "Kill him, Ed. I've seen had enough of him."

Edmund ran the sword straight through Emit's throat, and Saedra watched without emotion as blood poured everywhere and his body crashed to the ground.

They stared at the body for a moment before Edmund cleaned off his dagger, slid it back into his boot, and turned to Saedra. She continued to stare at Emit's body.

"You all right, Sae?"

No, obviously she wasn't, but she knew that it would be rude of him not to ask.

"Thanks to you." She turned away from the body to look at him. "Ed, I was paralyzed. I couldn't do anything. I've never felt that helpless in my life!"

Edmund released his breath. "Looks like you put up a good fight." Parts of her dress were torn and her hair was a complete mess.

"I tried." But she made a silent vow that she would _never_ allow herself to be so helpless again. Ever.

* * *

After spending a bit more time in Narrowhaven to confirm what they had learned from Emit, they went back to their boat and rowed toward the _Splendor Hyaline _as the sun began to set. The mood on their boat was different than it had been in the morning, as if the ice had cracked. But still there were things unsaid between them.

As Saedra sat with her arms wrapped about herself in an unconscious protective pose, she decided to take a risk and ask, "Ed, please let's go back to the way we were!"

Edmund looked at her in surprise.

She couldn't stop now, so she continued, "I hate not talking to you. I hate the stress of it all. We've decided that there's nothing we can change, so please can we be friends again?"

Edmund's mouth hung slightly open. "After what you just went through, this is what you are thinking about?"

"Yes. Please, Ed."

"Do you think it's possible?" he asked.

"Do you?"

He paused, then let go of one of the oars, reached out his hand, and said, "All right. Friends. Nothing more, nothing less."

She shook his hand. "Now, you better keep your word. If you get all mopey again, I'll dump a bucket of cold water on your head!"

Edmund's face broke into a smile, something she hadn't seen him wear in ages. "It's a deal."

As they grinned at each other, the aching that had been prevalent in Saedra's stomach lifted. Something good had come out of a miserable day. She and Edmund were friends again—or would at least try to be—and the dismal world she was in seemed a little brighter.


	25. The Bubble of Protection

**The Bubble of Protection**

* * *

"By the Lion, what happened to you, Saedra?" Lucy cried as Saedra gingerly climbed over the railing of the _Splendor Hyaline _at sunset.

Saedra's back was still hurting from being thrown against the bed, so she was trying to move it as little as possible as she boarded the ship; that feat was unfortunately impossible, and she winced all of the way up. Lucy guided her over the railing with a deeply concerned expression.

When she was fully on the ship, Saedra was overwhelmed by an unexpected wave of relief. She was safe now, and the feeling was so strong that her throat felt like it was blocked. She managed to get out, "We came across a bit of trouble."

"I can see that!" Lucy exclaimed. "Your clothes are ripped, you're filthy, and you're walking as if you are hurt! And—are those _bruises _on your neck? Ed, what happened?" she demanded as Edmund clambered over the side.

"It was a close call, Lu," Edmund said gravely. "We should have Sae looked at as soon as possible."

Saedra felt shaky. She had managed to put on a brave face for Edmund as they continued their mission, but inside she was unstable and just wanted to run into her cabin and cry with relief and mortification.

Peter came out of the cabin as they were talking. When he saw Saedra's appearance, he stopped short, the color draining from his face. "What happened?" he asked coldly, sounding ready to kill something.

"They were just about to tell me, Peter," Lucy said, hands on her hips.

At the sight of Peter and Lucy both looking at her angrily, Saedra laughed shakily to cover up the clenching in her chest. "I'm fine, really! You needn't look so worried."

_Please, just let me be alone! _she inwardly screamed. She didn't know why she wanted to be alone so much; she had been numb all day from trying to suppress the multitude of emotions running through her.

"Let's get inside and we can tell you everything," Edmund sighed.

They made their way to the cabin's door, but stopped when they saw that Saedra wasn't joining them. She was standing, staring off into space with a lost expression on her face; she was reliving the experience in her mind. The feeling of helplessness washed over her, and tears filled her unblinking eyes.

Peter looked at her with a half-shocked, half-concerned expression; Lucy came over and said gently, "Sae?"

Saedra focused on Lucy's concerned face. The memory shattered, but the feelings remained.

"Would you like to come and talk to us?" Lucy asked.

Saedra nodded, and allowed herself to be led into the sitting room of the cabin and lowered into a chair. Peter and Edmund sat across from her, and Lucy asked, "Is there anything I can get you, Sae?"

Saedra shook her head. When Lucy continued to look at her pitifully, she said, "Truly, I'm fine. I only have a few bruises, nothing lasting." _Physically, at least. _

Lucy sat down and Peter asked Edmund, "What happened!"

Edmund explained what happened in the tavern, and when he reached the part about Saedra being grabbed on the neck and sworn at, Peter jumped out of his seat and started pacing the room. Fury lined his deathly white face.

Lucy gasped and asked, "What did you do?"

Edmund looked down. "His cronies restrained me right away so I couldn't reach my dagger."

Peter stopped pacing, and he and Lucy both looked over at Saedra, who had been staring at the ground the whole time.

"He...he dragged her out of the room," Edmund said hesitantly.

Lucy gasped again. The room became silent, and Saedra knew that they were waiting for her to continue the tale.

Edmund started to say, "You know what? I don't think now is the time-"

Saedra cut him off by whispering, "I tried to fight him off." Her faced scrunched up, and she hid it behind her hand. She tried to compose herself, but found that impossible. "I couldn't."

"Oh, Sae," Lucy said, rubbing her shoulder.

Silence followed as Saedra tried to compose herself. She felt awful. She didn't want to talk about it, and she didn't like being the object of everyone's pity. She wiped her face and looked up. "Ed came in-just in time..." She buried her face in her hands again, breathing deep breaths.

"What have you learned?" Lucy asked Edmund, changing topics for Saedra's sake. "Was there anything good that came out of this catastrophe?"

"We learned that Cecill is dead, and his son Cedric is the new governor," he replied. "He's our age and seems to have no reason to defy Narnian lordship. My guess is that he has bad advisors, or that the taxes were unintentionally overlooked. We also got a sense that the people like Cedric, so we know that he is a good ruler, at least. The look of the city generally well-kept, it you stay away the unruly areas."

"So you suggest that docking and going up to the palace is a safe course of action?" Peter asked, still looking furious.

"We think so," Edmund said. "Perhaps we should send a messenger ahead of us to warn them of our arrival instead of just barging in. Not tonight, but tomorrow after we dock. We can stay on the ship for an hour or so until the messenger comes back, then go up."

"I think that's a good plan," Lucy said. "It _would _be rude just to barge in, even if we legally have the right."

That decided, they looked back at Saedra, who was still resting her elbows on her knees with her face in her hands.

"Are we done yet?" Saedra asked through her hands.

No one answered, just looked guilty for making her stay when it was now so obvious that she had been staying to appease them. If they had known she had hated talking so much, they wouldn't have made her.

Taking their embarrassed silence as an answer, Saedra stood up without looking at anyone and went into the bedroom, softly closing the door behind her.

* * *

The next day, they docked in the port at Narrowhaven and sent a messenger ahead to warn Cedric that they were coming. A while later, the messenger came aboard and said in a breathless voice, "He's coming!"

"Who? Cedric?" Captain Terril asked. "Speak, man!"

"Yes, Cedric! He was thrilled at the news that we have come and is on his way to meet us as we speak!"

"Make sure everyone knows," Terril ordered. "Especially the High King."

"I'll tell him," Saedra said after overhearing the conversation.

She had determined to act naturally, and so had not hidden in her bedroom as she desperately wanted to do. She had pasted a smile on her face as if nothing was wrong and went about the day as usual. She still felt vulnerable, but so far had managed to distract herself enough that she wasn't thinking about Emit all the time. When she was around other people, things were better.

She went into the sitting room where Peter was sitting on a couch. When she came in, he sat up.

"Cedric's coming," she said.

He stood up. "Is he? That's good news. Do Ed and Lu know?"

"I don't know, but the word is spreading all over the ship. I'll find them to make sure."

Peter reached over and put his cape on, and took his crown off to comb his hair with his fingers. She paused before leaving, and a half-smile escaped at the sight of him grooming himself.

"What?" he asked, putting his crown back on.

"Nothing," Saedra said, then noticed that a bit of his hair was sticking up. "You may want to check a mirror when you comb your hair, though."

"Why? Does it look funny?" he asked, trying to feel his hair over his crown. His efforts only ended up making more hair stand up.

Saedra almost giggled.

"You're just going to stand there and laugh, are you?" he said, raising his eyebrow.

"Are you asking me to help?"

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble!"

Saedra smiled and went over to him, then reached up to fix his unruly hair. She had to stand up on her tiptoes to see the hair over the side of his crown.

"Hmm, almost there…" she said, making sure she hadn't missed a spot.

Peter chuckled softly, and she pulled back to ask, "What?"

"I should have you fix my hair all of the time," he said slyly.

Saedra blushed when she realized the close proximity that they were in as a result of her trying to see his hair. She hadn't noticed it because she had simply been trying to help, but he certainly had. She looked away from his eyes and stepped back.

He reached out and took her hand. "You needn't be afraid of me, Sae."

She looked up at him. "I'm not afraid of you."

His blue eyes bore into her brown ones as if trying to uncover a mystery. Saedra's heart started beating faster, and the hand that was being held by Peter started to sweat.

"Then what is it?" he asked.

"I'm—I'm confused," she stammered.

"About what?" Peter asked gently.

"About-" she said hoarsely, then cleared her throat. "About what-"

Just then, the door opened and Edmund came through. "Have you heard the word…?"

His voice trailed off when he saw Saedra and Peter standing so close and holding hands.

An awkward moment passed as Saedra tried to look anywhere but at Edmund or Peter. Edmund averted his eyes, and Peter, who was not immune to the tension, let go of Saedra and said, "We'll finish this later, my dear."

When Peter was gone, Saedra asked, "What is it, Ed? What's that look about?"

He ignored her question and said, "Shall we go meet Cedric?"

* * *

His Sufficiency, Governor Cedric, turned out to be a nice-looking, strawberry-blonde man who was extremely obliging to the Narnians. What Edmund and Saedra had heard about his love for Narnia was true; he admitted that he had wanted to visit Narnia his whole life. He simply worshipped Peter and Edmund, and adored Lucy and Saedra.

After a friendly greeting on the _Splendor Hyaline, _they were brought back the governor's palace. A huge late-afternoon feast was prepared for them, and during that they got to know Cedric better.

"Is it true that there are really Talking Beasts in Narnia?" Cedric asked Saedra eagerly between bites of chicken.

"But, of course!" Saedra replied. "But you should ask Lucy about all of them. I'm originally from Archenland and don't have half her knowledge."

He and Lucy were soon in a lively conversation about Narnia.

Towards the end of dinner, Saedra leaned towards Peter and whispered, "Have you found out about the delinquent taxes yet?"

"No, I didn't want to start the visit on a bad note," Peter whispered back. "I'm going to try to find out when the opportunity presents itself."

A few nights later, as Saedra was snuggling up in bed in her and Peter's room and Peter was changing out of his day clothes, he said, "Well, I talked to Cedric about the taxes finally."

Saedra turned over to look at him, and then blushed to see that he was still shirtless. She shielded her eyes with her hand and asked, "So, what happened?"

But all the answer she got was Peter bursting into laughter.

"What is it?" she asked.

He continued laughing, but he managed to gasp, "You don't need to be proper around me, Saedra. We share a room, for goodness sake!"

She lowered her hand, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry."

Peter chuckled, pulling his nightshirt over his head as he did so.

"What did Cedric say?" Saedra asked again.

"Oh, he said that he did send it, and was genuinely shocked that we hadn't received it."

"So did someone steal it?"

"That, or pirates raided the boat. Either way, I believe him. He's going to set up an inquiry immediately," he said, going over to the couch that he slept on and rearranging the pillows. "It seems we have a mystery on our hands."

Saedra lay back down and stared at the ceiling, thinking about Cedric. He certainly didn't seem devious, so maybe there was truly some mistake.

He settled himself in, blew out the candle, and said jovially, "So, my dear, when do I get to move up to the bed?"

"Trying to change the arrangement, aye?"

"Trying not to give myself a bad back and neck before I turn thirty, that's all."

Saedra chuckled and rolled over.

A few minutes later, Peter whispered, "Saedra?" but she pretended she was asleep.

* * *

Cedric went all-out in his efforts to make the Narnians feel welcome. He arranged a ball so that the Narnians could meet the nobles on Narrowhaven.

As Saedra was examining herself in front of the mirror in their bedroom, Peter said from where he was adjusting his cape near the wardrobe, "Sae, I have a favor to ask of you."

"What is it?" Saedra said happily.

She was very proud of her self-control in training her mind not to think of Emit. After her first emotional day, she had been the picture of emotional health, even though her bodily wounds had taken longer to heal. On top of that, she and Peter had been getting along for the whole stay in Narrowhaven and hadn't fought once. She was starting to hope that maybe, just maybe, she and Peter could become close again and that he would open up to her more.

Tonight was going to be the perfect opportunity. She envisioned them dancing, laughing like they used to…

"I want you to stop pushing Lucy and Cedric together," Peter said.

Saedra froze for a moment, and then turned to look at him. "What?"

"I want you to stop encourage-"

"I heard what you said, but I don't understand it. What do you mean, 'push' them together?"

Peter shrugged and walked over behind her to look in the mirror. "That's what Lucy requested that I ask you."

Annoyance crept into Saedra's voice. "Peter, I haven't been 'pushing' them together. I admit that the thought has entered my mind that they would be an adorable match, but I haven't done anything to pursue it. I know better than to force people together against their will."

_Blast!_ she thought, _Adding that last part was not a good idea if I want this night to be special. _

Peter caught her insinuation and said, "Look, all I wanted was to convey Lucy's wishes, not start a fight. It's unnecessary to bring 'us' into this."

"Why didn't Lucy tell me this herself? Why didn't _you _tell her to tell me this herself?"

"I didn't think it was that big of an issue. But I'll let you resolve this with Lucy and I will say no more on the subject."

Saedra went back to patting down her hair, and nothing more was said for a while. Finally she said, "Do you think that I push Cedric and Lucy together? Because I really don't think-"

He laughed. "I don't know. Ask her yourself."

"I'm asking you, Peter. Do I seem like I push them together?"

"I would really prefer not to get involved," he said. "Ask Lucy."

"Peter, you got involved when you conveyed her message. I'm asking you what you think."

"I would prefer to stay out of the issue from now on."

Saedra put her hands on her hips and turned around. "Are you saying that I do push them together?"

"I'm not saying anything!"

"Good. Because I don't push them together."

He chuckled. "Whatever you say, dear."

She glared at him. "Don't mock me, Peter."

He held up his hands defensively. "I'm not mocking you! I was merely amused."

"Stop treating me like I'm a child begging for sweets! I was just asking you for your honest opinion, and you laugh!"

"Forgive my amusement! I didn't know you would take this so seriously."

Her high hopes about her and Peter having a perfect night were quickly vanishing, and her disappointment increased exponentially as they continued to talk.

"For the final time, I didn't take this seriously until you started being so mysterious and wouldn't answer a simple question!"

Peter laughed. "It's really not a big deal, Sae. Don't make it one."

"Why do you always get like this? You always act like I am child whenever I am curious!"

"If you act like a child, then I will treat you as such," Peter said, the amusement leaving his eyes. "There are some questions that are better to not be asked."

He was talking about more than just Lucy, and Saedra knew it. She became angry.

"Relationships are based on people getting to know each other, Peter. And the way to get to know someone is to _ask questions_. When you clam up and try to be all fatherly, it gets us nowhere. You don't have to protect me all of the time!"

"Saedra, it is my job to protect people. If you hadn't noticed, I am a _king_."

"But you don't need to be kingly all the time. It is your job, not who you are!"

"Saedra, this _is_ who I am. It is a part of me, the desire to protect people. I have always been like this, even before I was a king. And you are perhaps the only person who doesn't appreciate it."

"That is because I am your wife, not a subject! If I ask you a question, answer it, no matter if you think I'll like the answer or not."

"You need to trust me, Sae. Not all knowledge enriches your life."

She couldn't argue with him there. It had been simpler when she didn't know about Edmund's true feelings, but she had hopes that things would get better. Even so, she knew that their relationship might not ever be the same.

"You know what?"

"What?" he asked.

"I think that we're late for the party. Let's go down."

Peter looked at her a second before coming over and holding out his arm for her to take. They left the room and went down to the party in tense silence. Their argument had accomplished nothing, as their arguments always did. It simply left Saedra disappointed and disillusioned, and somehow the protective bubble of happiness and safety she had built around herself since The Incident had popped.

The party was nothing near as splendiferous as a party on the mainland, but what it lacked in glamour it made up for in the sheer number of people. The place was packed with people anxious to meet the Narnians. People would rush up to them and introduce themselves, and Saedra tried to put on a happy, content expression on her face as Peter firmly held onto her arm.

When the dancing started, Cedric happily called out, "Let us have High King Peter and Princess Saedra take the first dance!"

Peter smiled (only people who knew him well would see the slight strain in it), and led Saedra onto the dance floor. The music had heavy Narnian influences, so it was easy for the two to set their pace. As they waltzed past the onlookers, they would hear comments like, "What a beautiful couple," or, "Have you ever seen a more handsome match?"

Saedra snorted so that only Peter could hear, and he didn't appreciate it.

"We needn't always have to lie, Saedra. You could actually choose to be happy."

Saedra missed a step in surprise at his statement, and he accidentally stepped on her foot. She didn't cry out, but her face turned as red as her foot started throbbing.

"You're heavier than you look, Peter," she said through clenched teeth.

"Many apologies, my dear," he said in what she took to be an exceedingly sarcastic voice.

Saedra didn't say anything more, but she anxiously waited for the dance to end so that she could escape Peter. When it finally ended, she fled as gracefully as she could and darted into a dark hallway nearby. She leaned against the cold stone wall, breathing hard and blinking away angry tears.

_What has become of me? I'm emotional wreck! _she thought. _I'm hiding from a husband who I can't bear to be around because of our discord, and Lucy is displeased with me, not to mention Edmund! Just when I think things will get better, all of my relationships are falling apart!_

Just then, the figure of Edmund came around the corner, looking around. He spotted Saedra right away and went over to her.

"Are you all right, Sae? You looked upset."

She covered her face with her hands. He rested his hands on her shoulders and leaned in.

"Sae, talk to me," he pleaded.

She looked up and blurted out, "Peter and I can't seem to stop arguing! And what's worse, I feel like it's my fault most of the time! I don't know what our problem is. I've been trying to be better."

"Well, for what it's worth, I've noticed your efforts," he said compassionately. "I think that you and Peter just need to have a good, long talk to iron out your differences."

"That's exactly what I say!"

"Peter refuses to do that?" Edmund asked.

"Not outright, but there are some questions he won't answer."

"I'm not going to pry, because this is between you and Peter, but would you like me to talk to Peter for you?"

"No, no. I can talk to him tonight."

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" he offered.

"I think I need to do this myself, but thanks. All I need is someone to talk to."

"Anytime, my sister," he smiled.

She half-smiled back, and he leaned in to kiss her forehead. It seemed that the kiss lasted a bit longer than is should have, and she began to wonder if all of this friend stuff was as easy for Edmund as he pretended it was.

But when he pulled back, she revealed none of her thoughts and simply said, "Shall we go dance?"

"Let's," he agreed. He took her hand, and they turned back towards the doorway.

But they stopped short when they saw that someone was already standing in the doorway. It was Lucy, staring at them with a furious, red face.


	26. Breaking Point

**Breaking Point**

* * *

Edmund and Saedra froze, too surprised to even let go of each other's hand. Lucy strode over to them, cold fury mixed with shock on her face.

"Do I need to even ask what is going on?" Lucy said. "It seems so obvious now, I can't believe I didn't see it sooner!"

"Lu, calm down," Edmund said. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend to be innocent, Edmund!" she snapped. "Saedra, may I speak with you?"

Feeling like a child that was being unfairly picked on, she asked, "Me?"

She didn't know exactly what Lucy was mad about, but she had a good guess. The ironic thing was that it was something she had fleetingly thought of doing, but had deliberately stayed away from.

"Yes. Let's talk in my room." She nodded at Edmund curtly. "I'll talk to you later, Edmund."

Saedra let go of Edmund's hand and followed Lucy into her bedroom, the party sounds fading away. Lucy shut the door behind them, walked into the center of the room, and then looked back at Saedra who was still standing near the door.

She looked at Saedra with raised eyebrows and demanded, "Why?"

"'Why?'" Saedra repeated.

"Yes, why? Why are you so willing to jeopardize the peace of my family, let alone my _country, _by doing such a thing? Do you know who could use the knowledge of this affair against Peter—or Edmund—or anyone else connected with it? Do you know how damaging this is to the reputation of my family and country?"

"Lucy-"

Lucy continued, "Do you realize what position I am in? Now that I know, I am forced to choose which brother I am more loyal to! By doing nothing, I betray Peter. By telling Peter, I'm betraying Edmund!"

"Lu, there's a simple explanation for all of this," Saedra started to explain, starting to feel panicky. She _needed _Lucy to hear her out.

"You always have the answer to get out of every situation, don't you?"

"What do you mean, I 'have all of the answers?'" Saedra asked. She wanted to scream back at Lucy to listen to her, but she felt like she, in a way, deserved what was happening.

"Whenever there's a crisis, you're always the first to come up with a plan," Lucy said. She rested her hand on her chin and said in a mock-thoughtful voice, "Hmm, Susan needs company in Tashbaan, well I think I'll go keep her company!' 'Hmm, we need information about the governor of Narrowhaven, so I'll just go and be a hero while finding an excuse to dally with Edmund.'"

At this point Saedra tried to butt in, but Lucy said loudly, "'Hmm, Lucy needs some romance in her life, so I'll match her up with Cedric!'"

Saedra felt like she had all of the air sucked out of her, and her hands started shaking uncontrollably. She knew that Lucy was furious about her imagined affair with Edmund (and rightly so, had it been true), but there was obviously much more going on here than that.

Lucy continued, "'Hmm, I need a different husband than Ahoshta Tarkaan, so I'll just marry Peter and make his life miserable!' Oh, yes, Saedra, I have seen how little Peter and Edmund talk to each other these days. And don't think I didn't notice that it was only after your wedding that this started! Does it make you happy that you're tearing up my family?"

Saedra couldn't help it anymore. Peter had burst her protective bubble earlier that night, and now she was no longer able to keep up the pretense that she was well and happy. As Lucy's righteous barrage hit her, she felt like she was being put in her place. Her face crumbled and tears poured out of her eyes.

At the sight of Saedra melting down in front of her, Lucy's jaw dropped. She had expected Saedra to fight back, to defend herself. Who was this woman in front of her that was weeping as if she was a slave being chastised by her mistress? What happened to the proud Saedra that she had always known?

"Saedra?" Lucy asked, eyes wide. She didn't move to comfort Saedra, but stood immobile and dumbstruck.

Saedra shook her head, gasped, "I have to go," and fled the room. She stumbled through the hallways of the castle as if in a drunken state. If she met anyone, she didn't care. She was blinded by tears, and all she wanted was to hide away and cry. She somehow found her bedroom and went in. She threw herself on the bed, and cried and cried into the pillows.

Try as she might, she just could not shut off her thoughts! They rushed at her from every side, making her feel ill and worthless. She had had the illusion that she and Lucy were friends…how many other people saw her the same what Lucy did? As the kind of person who would have an affair with her husband's brother? How many other people thought that she was a back-stabbing, conniving, hypocritical, spoiled woman who enjoyed coming between brothers?

_You forgot heartless, _she reminded herself angrily, thinking back to an argument she and Peter had had the week before their wedding. He had called her heartless because she was marrying him to avoid marriage to Ahoshta.

Her face scrunched up again. _He was right! I did just marry him as an alternate. _

Tears slipped out of the corners of her eyes after she flipped over to look at the dark ceiling. Her running makeup was staining everything it dripped onto, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter that her best dress was being wrinkled-nothing mattered. She had never felt so wretched in her life, including when her father had died when she was seventeen.

_But you didn't try to push Lucy and Cedric together!_ she reminded herself. _Did I? _

She realized that it very well could have seemed like it. _Maybe it seemed like I was! It did enter my mind that they would be a good match..._

A sob of guilt rose up in her throat, and she slammed her hands over her mouth to suppress it. The tears did not go away, however, and she shut her eyes as the silent sobs continued to rack her body. She turned over, buried her face in the pillow, and balled as reminders of the horrible things she had done flashed through her mind, prompting even more tears.

_I've wrecked Peter's life! He can never marry another woman that he really loves! _She banged her face against the pillow angrily. _I was so wrong...so wrong..._

_And Susan? I was a horrible friend to her in Tashbaan. I ran away from her to avoid confrontation when what she really needed was me to be there for her!_

_Edmund? _The tears paused as she thought about him. _I've made his life wretched! There is nothing I could ever do to ease the torment of seeing me married to Peter. I almost caused him to turn against his own brother! _She started weeping again.

_And Lucy? I've tried to be a friend but have only made her life miserable! I can't do anything right! Talia would probably be better off in Tashbaan than having a mother who leaves her for the whole summer! _

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder that shocked her out of her self-abusing thoughts. Surprised, she turned over and saw that Peter was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking shocked at her state. She hadn't heard him come in the room.

"Peter!" she gasped, sitting up and trying to wipe off her face. She futilely hoped that he wouldn't see her wet face, but knew that was impossible with the bright moonlight coming in through the window into the unlit room.

"Lucy told me that she upset you," Peter said with a wide-eyed yet worried expression at seeing Saedra in such an emotional condition. "She's very worried about you."

She looked at him, and the attentive (and was it loving?) look on his face made her unable to hold back her tears anymore. Seeing him brought back all of the guilt she had about what she had done to him, and she covered her face and sobbed into her hands as Peter caressed her back lightly.

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "It's not her. She merely told me what I already knew." She continued sobbing, hiding her face in shame.

"Oh, Sae..."

"I've been so wrong about everything! I had this illusion that I was strong...that I was untouchable. That I was _someone_. But-but..."

"Sae, if this is about that scum that tried to harm you..." Peter began, an edge creeping into his voice.

She cried harder at the mention of it. "I tried to forget, I tried so hard. I mean, he didn't really get to do anything to me. But I just keep thinking that if Edmund had been just a little later..." She paused as sobs made her unable to speak. "If he had been..."

"Saedra, none of this is your fault. Surely you know that!"

"I know, I know. I don't blame myself for that. It just...opened my eyes to so many things. So many women have gone through that, and it just-completely shattered the picture I had of myself. I mean, I was untouchable, I was strong. I was this great Duchess. B-but-but then..."

"You're still strong!" Peter assured her. "That's one of things I admire most about you."

"But I'm not, I not! Look at me. One little incident, and I'm a complete mess. This shouldn't even bother me since nothing really happened! But it does, it does...it does."

Peter shook his head and continued to watch her with an angry expression. She knew he wasn't mad at her; she knew that he was furious at the reminder of what had happened with Emit, but it made her feel even more undeserving of him and the way he obviously cared about her well-being.

She continued, "I took you so for granted. I thought I could protect myself from getting hurt again, that's why I have been so horrid when all you wanted was to do was to protect me...but, oh, I'm not making any sense!"

"I think I know what you're saying," he said more softly. "I hurt you, and you were just trying to protect yourself."

"And Emit made me realize what a wonderful man you are. I've been...I've been positively dreadful to you!"

"No, I deserved it most of the time."

"No, no!" she protested.

"Oh, Sae, don't do this to yourself! It kills me to see you like this."

"I deserve this. I deserve it."

"Saedra, stop this!" he ordered, firmly grabbing her shoulders, which shocked her out of her tears.

She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Listen to me, and listen well," Peter said. "First of all, you do not deserve what happened with Emit. No one ever does in that situation. That is the worst thing that he could ever do to you, and if I had been there I would have made him suffer infinitely more for touching you. The very thought makes my blood boil, and were I not forcing myself to be rational, I would probably do unthinkable acts to avenge what happened to you. The only thing stopping me is the knowledge that whatever I do cannot change the past.

"Secondly, I don't want you to blame yourself for the problems between us. They are _both _of our faults, and probably mine even more than yours! I don't blame you at all for trying to keep yourself from getting hurt again. I regret the way I treated you then everyday (for I sensed it was the cause of the problems between us), and if I could go back, I would have handled it much differently."

Saedra didn't know what to say anymore. She had run out of tears, and was thoroughly exhausted. She knew what Peter said about Emit was right; it was something that she had been telling herself, but it was reassuring to hear it from Peter.

"And Sae, if you ever want to talk to me about anything, anything at all, please do so. I will always be here for you."

"Thank you, Peter," she whispered.

"Lucy has been waiting outside to talk to you, so we'd better not keep her waiting any longer." He got up and went out of the room.

A moment later, Lucy came in, knocking on the door lightly as she entered. "Saedra?"

"Come on in, Lu," Saedra said from her perch on the bed.

Lucy walked over, swallowing. "I really don't know where to start. I've been bloody _awful _to you, considering what's happened..."

"Lucy, I deserved to be berated."

"No, you didn't! I completely misjudged you, as Edmund was quick to tell me when I went to find Peter. He told me everything, and I could just die with mortification. I haven't been supportive enough since—you know—and I blamed Peter and Edmund's problems all on you."

"You did what any sister would do if she was in that situation. I don't blame you."

"I jumped to conclusions, and it was very wrong of me. I'm terribly sorry, Sae. Please forgive me...I couldn't bear it if we weren't friends anymore."

"I do forgive you," Saedra replied, moving across the bed, closer to where Lucy was standing. "And I am sorry if I was making you uncomfortable about Cedric. I am the last person to give out love advice!"

Lucy's face broke into a smile. "It doesn't matter. I said some horrible things-and I didn't mean any of them. I think I just wanted to hurt you as much as I could because I was so angry about Edmund."

"I figured," Saedra half-smiled. "It's over now."

A moment of silence passed as the two women studied each other, both relieved that they were talking rationally again.

"I'd better let you finish with Peter," Lucy said, getting up. "I need to help Edmund deal with all the Narrowhaven nobles downstairs."

Saedra smiled, and a hint of the woman she used to be showed through when she said sarcastically, "Good luck with that."

Lucy laughed and left the room. A moment later, Peter came back in. He shut the door behind him and came over slowly, as if he wasn't sure how to proceed.

"Everything all right?" he asked.

"Yes," Saedra sighed contentedly. "I'm sorry if I wrecked your evening."

"No apologies," he said firmly, locking eyes with her as he came to the edge of the bed. "We shouldn't have assumed that you wouldn't be upset by what happened with Emit. None of us have had any experience with such a situation, so we should have been more attentive to your needs."

"I think it's something that I need to work out for myself, but I do appreciate you being here for me," she replied, looking down. She felt drained, as if the tears that she had shed had carried parts of her with them.

Peter continued to study her, then hesitantly reached over and pushed back some hair from her face. Surprised at feeling his fingers brush her face, she looked up at him to see him looking down at her tenderly. Her facial expression didn't change, but inwardly she felt the walls around her heart melt at his tenderness.

He kept his hand by the side of her face cautiously, perhaps worried that she would recoil from the touch of a man. She didn't, and he stepped forward, leaned down, and lightly kissed her on the top of the head. He then wordlessly walked over to the wardrobe and changed out of his clothes, while Saedra pulled the covers back and settled in, thinking. She watched Peter as he went over to his couch and began rearranging the pillows on it.

"Peter?"

He stopped and looked at her.

Suddenly, her heart started pounding madly. She took in a shallow, shaky breath before asking, "Would you like to sleep up here on the bed tonight?"

Peter's eyes widened and he asked, "Are you sure?"

Saedra nodded. "Yes."

He continued to look at her, so she scooted over to one side of the large bed, showing him that she was serious. She felt completely ridiculous doing it, but as soon as the thought had come into her mind, she had blurted it out, and now she had to follow through. But what if he refused? What if he was more disgusted with her than he let on? What if the happily surprised expression on his face hid a darker emotion? What if-

All worries ended when he dropped the bedding that he had been holding, went over to the bed, and climbed in. Saedra's heart rate continued to climb, but she tried to hold a confident, pleasant expression on her face when he, also sitting up with his lower body under the covers, looked over at her. Even though the bed was large, she still felt like she was closer to Peter than she had ever been before.

He seemed to be waiting for her to determine what happened next, so she said, "Well, goodnight," and laid down on her side so that her back was to him.

A second later, he did the same, saying, "'Night, Sae. Sweet dreams."

Not another word was said all night, for both of them pretended to be asleep. But just the thought of lying next to the other was enough to keep both awake for hours, until tired sleep finally engulfed them.


	27. With Love

**With Love**

* * *

_Dear Peter,_

_I sat here for ten minutes trying to think of an elegant way of beginning this letter. We have never written before, and I suspect your standards of penmanship are superior to anyone I have ever corresponded with before. You are High King, after all, which is a fact that I can ignore when face-to-face with you, but somehow it seems daunting as I write to you. What does one say when writing to her husband, especially after making such a royal fool of herself? _

_I suppose I could start by telling you what I have done since you dropped me off here in Harden on the way back from the Lone Islands. Even though it was only yesterday, it strangely feels like much longer. Perhaps it is due to all of the work that has piled up in my absence. It is a good thing I came back when I did, otherwise my desk may have splintered from the weight of the scrolls upon it! At least this time I didn't have Lord Reine around trying to usurp my authority again. _

_I spent all day yesterday unpacking and settling back in. Even though Gilda was around to keep me company and all of the usual servants were around, the castle felt empty without Talia. As you know, she, Aravis, and the Princes stayed with Tumnus this summer, but they've been back at Anvard for a few weeks as planned. Talia will be leaving Anvard within the week, and I look forward to it. I've missed her in the time we were gone! I was struck with guilt at leaving her for the whole summer, and now I hope I can make it up to her. _

_Today I started raking through the papers on my desk, and I've made a small bit of progress. Truthfully, nothing is especially interesting around here compared to what happened this summer! _

_I can't think of anything interesting to add! I hope this letter finds you safely back at Cair Paravel._

_Your wife, _

_Saedra_

* * *

_Dear Saedra, _

_You'll be amused to know that Susan is hovering over my shoulder like a vulture as I write this. She was thoroughly put-out that you didn't return to Narnia with us. And Ed's decision to stay in the Lone Islands and trace down the missing taxes only compounds her misery. Poor sister, at least she has Peridan to comfort her!_

_I laughed when you said that you were intimidated by writing to me. There is no reason whatsoever to have any worries; on the contrary, I think I must be the more afraid! It seems I never know the right thing to say to you, and I am at an even greater disadvantage writing to you, for I cannot see your face and judge your level of anger!_

_Since you told me about your day, I shall tell you about mine. The _Splendor Hyaline _pulled into port today, and I was bombarded by people trying to talk to me as I descended from the ship. It seems that work has piled up for me as well, even though Susan has been around to manage most of it. There are just some things that she prefers not to get involved in, such as land disputes and the like. Edmund is really the best for that job, but since he stayed behind, it falls to me to do it. Oh, the joy! Lucy refuses to get involved in them because she hates it when she can't make everyone happy. She is wise, but she is too compassionate at times. _

_After leaving the ship, I made my way to my chambers as quickly as possible. There, to my great joy, I found your letter! I quickly read it, but soon pages were coming in and reminding me of the things to be done, so I had to abandon it. I worked all day, and then after dinner Susan, Lucy, and I caught up on what has been happening with all of us. Of course you were the first person Susan asked about, and then I remembered your letter. I relayed to them some of what was in it, and then Susan urged me to reply quickly so that we might hear back from you sooner. And that's what I am doing now!_

_Oh, Susan wants me to add that she had started the preliminary planning for her wedding. You won't be surprised to find out that she has changed her mind-she does want a humongous wedding. We would expect nothing more of her, no? (Susan read that last line and punched my shoulder. Ouch!)_

_Well, my dear, I think that is all I have that you might be remotely interested in._ _I hope you are well. Send Talia my love when she comes to you!_

_With the Warmest Affection, _

_Peter_

* * *

_Dear Peter, _

_You will be amazed when you see Talia-she has grown almost half a foot since we last saw her! I've been scrambling all day to arrange getting new dresses made for her. The old ones are above her ankles! If she keeps up this growth spurt, she's going to be taller than me. She's already up to my shoulders, and she's only twelve! (By the way, her letter to you is enclosed. You can read for yourself what she has been up to). _

_Have you heard from Edmund yet? I'm very anxious to see if he has learned anything about the taxes yet. I must admit, I thought it was a bit strange when he decided to stay behind instead of coming back to the continent with us. He didn't even have his attendants stay behind with him! I sure hope Cedric is as trustworthy as he seems, because otherwise Edmund could be in grave danger!_

_Even though you haven't asked, you'll be pleased to know that I have been doing much better emotionally. I know that one night was traumatic for you to see me in such a mess, but I have been dealing with my insecurities in a much more composed manner now. I think getting it all out in the open was the best therapy I could hope for. I didn't tell you then, but it was very comforting that you were willing to sleep on the bed with me, strange as it sounds. I actually missed that when we were back on the _Splendor Hyaline _and Lucy and I were sharing the cabin. _

_One chore that I've had to do since returning that's been particularly unpleasant is comforting the families that lost sailors when the _Forben _sank. That has been heart-breaking, and I can't help but blame myself for what happened. In hindsight, there was nothing wrong with the decision to bring the _Forben _to have a more formidable presence in Narrowhaven, but it still was that decision that cost many sailors their lives. _

_Do not fear about not being able to see my face and judge my level of disapproval. I will be sure to tell you when I am angry! Haha!_

_Tell Susan that she had better wait until I come up before she gets married! I will be terribly vexed if I miss it. _

_Looking forward to your next correspondence, _

_Saedra _

* * *

_Dear Sae, _

_I'm amazed how Talia has progressed in her learning! She writes as well as any girl her age. You have done wonders with her, truly. (She told me how excited she is about getting new dresses. Now she is a true Princess...she is more excited about clothes than anything else!)_

_No, we have had no word from Ed yet. I agree with you about his safety. But as you know, no one knows how to take care of himself like he does. I also think that there was another reason that Ed stayed behind...it seems like after the episode with Lucy that he was very bothered about something. Did you notice that as well? My guess is that he stayed behind to deal with that as much as find the taxes. I do pray that he is safe and well. _

_About sharing the bed with you, it was my pleasure. I may be being very forward, but I hope that is something we may continue. Though as I think about it, I realize that we have been married half a year now. We shouldn't be having to plan whether we sleep in the same room or not! Such is the married life of a king, I suppose. Our marriage was arranged in many ways, so maybe it is better that we've approached this the way we have. Better that we get along before anything else, as dull as it sounds. Not that it's dull to get along! (I think I'm putting my foot in my mouth now!) Do you know what I mean?_

_I'm thrilled to hear that you're doing better. I _was _disconcerted at how affected you were by what happened, and even more disconcerted that I hadn't noticed it at all. I consider myself good at reading your face these days, so the fact that you could hide your misery so effectively worries me. I only hope that now you trust me enough to talk to me more now, because I truly want to be there for you when you need me. _

_Enclosed is my letter for Talia. Give her a kiss for me. _

_With Deep Affection, _

_Peter _

* * *

_Dear Peter, _

_Yes, I am quite proud of Talia's improvement. She is extremely intelligent and has caught on to her lessons amazingly well. I can't take all of the credit, though. Gilda has been teaching her most of her lessons, just as she did when I was little. I mostly teach Talia the basics of fencing and archery, though you know how bad I am at archery! I'll have to see if Susan is willing to teach Talia that when we get back. Talia's already as good as I am now at shooting. And maybe you could give both Talia and I sword lessons. You are the master, after all. _

_I did sense what you did about Edmund staying behind. He did seem bothered by something after the fight with Lucy. I didn't notice it much in the last days we stayed in Narrowhaven because you and I were spending so much time together, but when he and I said our goodbyes, I could see something in his eyes. I hope that he overcomes whatever is plaguing him soon!_

_Has it really been half a year that we have been married! My, the time has flown! Though it's true that we are progressing slowly...um, physically...but when you think about where we were when we got married, I think we have made a lot of progress. I mean, we were constantly fighting. Can you imagine us sharing sleeping chambers then? It's laughable! One of my conditions to marry you was that we would have separate rooms, remember? Well, in case you haven't noticed, I take it back. _

_This letter is shorter than the other, but Talia's more than makes up for it. (She had me proofread hers). _

_Affectionately, _

_Sae _

* * *

_Dear Sae, _

_The centaurs are saying that winter is coming early this year. I hope you can make it before then, because otherwise I might not see you until spring! Susan is aching for a winter wedding, so I hope you can make it up for that, and Ed too. She and Peridan have waited quite long enough to be married. I pity and admire their self-control. _

_I'm very pleased to see that you have retracted one of your conditions. Now I just need to make you take back the one about staying Duchess of Harden! No, I'm joking. You just wouldn't be yourself without your loyalty to your people. Though it will be harder and harder to be apart from you... Maybe I will arrange it so I can stay down there with you next time. Hopefully Ed will be back by then. _

_Talia told me all about her adventures with Cor, Corin, Aravis, and Tumnus this summer. It sounds like she has a little crush on our friend Prince Corin, no? Hm, I think I see an arranged marriage in her future. Hah! _

_Again, I must beg you to come up before frost comes. Winter will be very dull without the two of you. _

_With love, _

_P._


	28. A Taste of Sweet Narnian Snow

**A Taste of Sweet Narnian Snow **

* * *

Peter was the first one to meet them. As Saedra and Talia tiredly guided their horses up to Cair Paravel's gates, he was waiting for them, grinning crazily.

"Father!" Talia exclaimed happily, hopping off of her horse as soon as they reached the doors. Despite the early ankle-deep snow, she quickly ran up to him. He laughed and hugged her, twirling her around.

Saedra clambered off of her horse, smiling at the sight of them. Peter put Talia down and looked up at Saedra, and her insides lurched unexpectedly as she walked over to them. Now that he was right in front of her after months of letter writing, she felt happy to see him. She had never been more optimistic about their future than she was at this moment.

Saedra felt her cheeks become heated as she walked up to him and looked up expectantly. What would he do to greet her? They hadn't moved their relationship forward physically—at all—so she wasn't sure how they should greet each other. But things were not the same that they had been last time they had been together, so...

To her very pleasant surprise, he cupped her chin in his hand, bent down, and kissed her lightly on the lips; Talia giggled in embarrassed delight to their side. He held that position for a moment, then pulled back and said, "I trust your stay was as successful as you conveyed in your letters, my Lady?"

"Moderately," Saedra replied in a playful tone.

Just then, Susan and Lucy came squealing through the doors and gave Saedra and Talia bone-crushing hugs.

"It's about time you came back!" Susan chided. "Peridan and I have been impatiently waiting for you two and Ed to return, because we are aching to be married!"

"Is Ed here?" Saedra asked, beaming at Susan's enthusiasm. After all of the stress that had been prevalent last time she was in Narnia, it was wonderful to come back and feel so happy, content, and hopeful. "I want to hear all about his investigation."

"He hadn't come back yet," Peter replied.

"But it's been over three months!" Saedra exclaimed.

"We know," Lucy said, "and we're becoming a tad concerned about him. We haven't had word yet."

"We've decided to see if he comes by Christmas. If not, we will start inquiring about his whereabouts," Peter added. "For all we know he could be completely safe and healthy, so there's no need to worry yet. If anyone can take care of himself, it's Ed."

* * *

Travelling up to Narnia on horseback took its toll on Saedra and Talia. After a late lunch with Peter, Susan, and Lucy, they went straight to bed. Saedra slept long and hard, and didn't wake until around midnight when her growling stomach jerked her out of her dreams.

She sat up in bed and looked around. A warm fire was roaring in the fireplace, showing that someone had come in while she was sleeping. She crawled off of the high bed, threw on a robe, slipped on her shoes, and left the room. She wandered through the quiet halls of the palace, headed for the kitchen. When she reached it, she opened the door and went through. She saw a light around the corner and heard some voices, so she headed to that area. She hadn't expected anyone to be awake, but she was glad for the company.

As she neared the voices, she realized that it was Talia's childish voice and the deeper one of a Dwarf's. She smiled and started to round the corner, but then she overheard what the Dwarf was saying and ducked back around the corner.

"Then you do think your mum loves your father?" the Dwarf, who Saedra now knew was Stamprin, said.

"Of course!" Talia replied. "She was very excited to come back here and see him."

"Then why did she stay away for so long?" Stamprin pressed.

"She had work she had to do back home that took up all of her time."

"Home?" he asked. "You're referring to Archenland?"

"Yes…of course!" Confusion was creeping into Talia's voice at all of the questions.

"So your mum makes you call Archenland your home, as opposed to Narnia?"

"Well, we live in both places, so they are both like home to me. But Archenland was my first real home and my best friends are back there, so I call it home."

"Your mum doesn't make you call it home?"

Talia tittered uncertainly. "No. Why are you asking me all of this?"

Stamprin paused. "Just doing my job, little Princess. It is my job as advisor to the High King to look out for his best interests, that's all."

"But what does that have to do with Mum?"

"Nothing, child. I see you're done with your treats, so off to bed with you."

There were sounds of Talia getting up from the table, and Saedra hid herself in the shadows as her daughter passed. She didn't know if she wanted Talia to know that she had heard that interchange yet, but she did know that she was furious with Stamprin. Not only was he trying to spy on Saedra, but he was using Talia to do it! She didn't want Talia to be put in a situation where she doubted her parents' affection for one another, especially now that it looked like she and Peter would be all right after all.

When Talia had left the kitchen, Saedra went around the corner. Stamprin was sitting on a stool and sipping a drink thoughtfully when she went over to the cupboards and gathered some food.

"Good evening, Princess," Stamprin said properly, nodding his head at her.

Saedra ignored his greeting as she brought her food to his table with a stern expression on her face. She sat down, leaned towards him, and said, "If you have anything that you would like to ask me, go right ahead. But if you ever bring my daughter into your apparent distrust of me, you'll regret it. I don't want her innocence spoiled by the curiosities of a bored old Dwarf. "

The White Dwarf didn't bat an eye. "Her innocence won't be spoiled if there's nothing that you're hiding from her."

"What are you insinuating?"

"That you have only married the High King for your own personal gain, and not for his benefit."

"You presume much," she scoffed.

"It's common knowledge that Ahoshta Tarkaan of Calormen asked for your hand in marriage just before you became engaged to his Majesty. Very convenient, your Highness, very convenient."

"Ahoshta is almost a king himself! I could improve my status just as much by marrying Ahoshta as marrying Peter."

Stamprin's eyes narrowed. "My point exactly. You are too modern and have yet to produce an heir. In Narnia we have become weary of women who think only of their own desires."

Saedra raised her eyebrows, deciding not to give in and ask him what he meant by that. She didn't see how his statements connected, but she didn't want him to know that!

"How in the world do you expect me to produce an heir so soon? We haven't been married a year yet!"

Stamprin stood up and said, "I would watch myself if I were you, Princess. All of us true Narnians are fiercely loyal to our High King." He inclined his head to her, then left the room.

Saedra sat in silence, finally starting to eat her snack of fruit and bread. Lucy had been suspicious of her before, and now not only Lucy had reason to distrust Saedra. How far did the misgivings spread? Did everyone in Narnia view her as a fiend?

She stayed in the cold kitchen long after she finished her food, staring at the dying fire.

* * *

The next day, Saedra, Talia, Peter, Susan, Lucy, Peridan, and some other creatures with spare time trudged through the snow, dragging sleds. They were headed over to the mainland to spend the day sledding. A light snow had been falling all night and the snow was half-way up to their knees, making Saedra glad that she had put on men's leggings underneath her dress.

As people talked happily around her, she chewed on the inside of her mouth and thought about what Stamprin had said the night before. Talia had come to her that morning to tell her everything and Saedra had been able to ease her mind about it, but she had to stop the rumors or more than just her dignity would be at stake; Peter would look incompetent for so poorly choosing a wife.

She didn't notice Peter sidle up next to her, so she jumped when he said, "You look preoccupied, my dear."

"Oh! It's nothing. Just a bit tired still."

Peter saw through her reply and said, "Anything you want to talk about?"

She sighed. "Stamprin doesn't trust me."

"Oh?"

"I came across him trying to get information about me out of Talia last night, and when I confronted him about it, he was unapologetic. He seems to distrust me because I seem too 'modern,' whatever that means."

Peter chuckled. "Good ol' Stamprin."

"What do you mean, 'good old Stamprin?'" she demanded, not liking how casually he was treating all of this.

"He gets a little over-zealous in his position as an advisor. Don't worry about him, Sae. We've nothing to hide anymore."

He looked down at her with a twinkle in his eye, and Saedra blushed.

Saedra's face continued to burn up for the rest of the day, and it wasn't because of the chill in the wind on the sledding hill. It was because somehow, through the thoughtful letters she and Peter had exchanged, she had reverted back to the way she had been when she had first fallen for Peter. She didn't hate him anymore, and even if she wanted to she couldn't.

Peter was charming and funny and stayed near Saedra and Talia the whole day. Saedra found his attentions to her and her daughter irresistible, and the last crumbs of resentment toward him were falling away, even as the rest of her body felt like it was freezing. Talia had never seen her step-parents so happy around each other and was basking in their happiness all day.

As the sun tilted towards the west side of the world, Peter said, "How about one more ride down before we leave, Tal?"

"How 'bout you and Mum go down together this time?" she replied. The twelve-year-old was getting to the age where she could sense what was going on with her adopted parents, and had been trying to encourage them all day.

"I don't think we'll fit, my dear!" Saedra laughed.

"We can try it," Peter said, getting down on the sled. "Here, you sit between my legs and hold onto my knees."

"This isn't going to work," Saedra giggled, but sat as her told her to anyway.

"Ready?" Talia asked.

Saedra tucked in her skirts and said, "Ready!"

Talia pushed them, and they sped down the hill. The wind whipped at Saedra's face as they careened around on the sled, which _was _too small for the both of them. When they were three-fourths of the way down, they toppled over with Peter landing draped over Saedra's stomach.

"Ugh!" she said, spitting snow out of her mouth. When she took in their hilarious situation, she half-laughed, half-gasped, "Get off, Peter! I can't breathe."

Peter laughed and crawled back off her, his face dripping with snow and his hair a complete mess. Saedra was no beautiful sight either: her hair was in knots and going every which way, and she had water dripping out of the corners of her mouth.

They looked at each other for a moment, then burst into hearty laughter. They clutched their stomachs as they panted for breath.

"Are you all right down there?" Talia called.

"We're fine," Peter gasped, reaching out to grab the crown that had fallen off of his head.

Their laughter died down, but they continued to look at each other. Slowly Saedra's heartbeat started to quicken; snow was melting through her clothes, but she didn't care.

She gave him a small smile and said softly, "I missed you." Even as she said it, she realized that it was truer than she had originally intended. She had missed _this _Peter, the one who was playful yet responsible, affectionate and steady. This was the Peter she had fallen so hard for once upon a time, and she was falling for once more…faster than she thought was possible.

Peter leaned in and said, "I missed you too. More than you know."

They were in their own little world, and a strong, very pleasant sort of tension was palpable, cracking around them. Saedra's whole being was alert, waiting. This was it.

They stared into each other eyes, and Saedra's breathing quickened. Peter slowly moved his body closer to her, put his hand on the back of her wet head, and leaned in slowly, looking into her eyes until the very last second. Their lips met in a kiss that tasted like the sweet Narnian snow. The slow kissing quickly deepened; they were oblivious to the people above them and the darkening sky.

They pulled apart when Susan called down (was it seconds or hours later?), "Sorry if I'm interrupting anything, but we're heading back to Cair Paravel now. I don't know about you two, but we're freezing up here!"

Peter called back, "We'll follow you!" then he smiled back at Saedra. "Shall we be off?"

Saedra nodded happily and stood up with his help, trying to brush off the wet snow. She was soaked to the bone, but she didn't care a bit. Peter picked up the sled, and Saedra smiled to herself when he reached over with his free hand to intertwine his fingers with hers. As they trudged up the hill, shivering with cold, her heart continued to pound as the reality of what had happened hit her. She and Peter had taken a step into another realm…a place there was no going back from, and a place that she very much wanted to go to.

A smirk played at the corner of her mouth at the thought of it. It had definitely been something she had thought about a lot, even when she had thought she hated him. He _was _her husband, he _was _incredibly handsome, and she _was _extremely curious. Her stubbornness had gotten in the way before, but now she had even admitted that she didn't mind sharing sleeping quarters...

"What is that look about?" Peter asked, looking down at her as they walked through the snow-covered trees.

"What look?" she asked innocently.

"That look," he replied. "That cute little grin you have there."

Raising her eyebrows, she said, "I'm just enjoying the scenery."

He gave her a look that clearly read, "I know you're lying," and then winked at her.

_Is it possible to die from being too happy? _she wondered giddily, but then thought, _Who even cares?_

The sun had set and the wind was utterly freezing when they finally stumbled inside the castle doors, chilled to the bone.

"No one's around," Saedra observed.

"Everyone must be in dinner now. Let's get changed and go eat," Peter said.

They went to the hallway that led to their bedrooms, and the first one they came to was Saedra's. They stopped at the door and she looked up at him, ready to thank him for the fun time.

But as soon as she saw his face, all thoughts were banished from her mind. He was staring at her so adoringly even though she knew she looked ridiculous with her moppy hair and dripping clothes.

To her, he looked adorable with his blonde hair dripping with water, his cheeks and nose red, and his eyes shining. She reached up and brushed some hair out of his face. He instantly grabbed her raised hand, reached his other arm around her waist, and pulled her to him. She looked up at him, the wind sucked out of her. It was different than earlier in the day, even more electrifying. Being inside, in the quiet…alone…

She was almost trembling-but not with fear-as she looked up into his eyes. Time slowed down as he leaned down and she lifted herself onto her tip-toes, their lips reaching for each other…

Their lips met in a hard kiss that lasted until Saedra was breathless. They pulled away for a millisecond, then smashed their lips together with an urgency that hadn't been there when they were sledding. As they moved their mouths over the other's, in his zealousness Peter moved them forward so that she was smashed between the door and him. It was a new, wonderful sensation, being trapped in such a way. It was thrilling that Peter was so attracted to her, for the way he was kissing and touching her, there could be no doubt that he had been waiting a long time to do this.

Saedra suddenly became aware that if spotted, they would be in quite an embarrassing situation. She freed one of her hands that had been gripping his shirt and used it to search the space behind her to find the door handle. When it was found, she opened the latch, and she and Peter stumbled back into her bedroom.

They quickly regained their balance, and Peter moved in to kiss her again, but she exclaimed, "Wait!"

She released him and stepped around him to close the door. She turned around with her hand on her hip and said cheekily in response to his raised eyebrows:

"Wanted a bit of privacy."

They missed dinner that night, but it didn't matter because neither was hungry for food anymore.


	29. Meet Me in the Southern Passage

**Meet Me in the Southern Passage**

* * *

Saedra awoke earlier than usual the next day because of the bright light shining in through the windows.

_I forgot to close the curtains last night, _she thought testily, then turned to get out of bed-but she ran into something.

It was...a shoulder? She rubbed her face and looked again.

There it was: a bare, muscular shoulder of a man. Her eyes trailed up from the shoulder, up the neck, and to the face of a very awake and grinning Peter. Her jaw dropped as the previous night's events came back to her.

"Oh!" she cried, realizing as she sat that she was, in fact, completely unclothed under the blankets and that most likely, Peter was as well.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Peter said tenderly, reaching over and running his fingers though her knotty hair.

"Ouch!" she exclaimed when he accidentally pulled too hard on a knot. "Who's Sleeping Beauty?"

Peter laughed. "You. You do love your sleep, don't you? I've been awake for half an hour already."

"And you've just been laying there?" she asked, looking back at him.

"You're awfully cute when you're asleep, you know that?" he teased.

"I'd still be asleep if I'd closed the curtains last night. I feel like death." She rubbed her eyes again, but they still felt like they had been half-sewn together.

"It's natural. You did have a lot of exercise yesterday."

She looked back at him with a fake scowl.

"What's that for? I meant the sledding, of course!"

"Good," she said, still faking indignance.

He reached up and tugged at her shoulders so she was lying down again, head resting on his shoulder. "Let's just relax for a while more."

Saedra had to smile at his sweetness and snuggled up against him.

It was a wonderful but strange feeling, lying next to Peter in such a state. Something like out of a dream. It was almost perfect; there just seemed to be something missing, though she couldn't put her finger on it. She felt close to him, but in other ways she felt like she didn't know Peter nearly as well as she should.

_Relax! _she chided herself. _Can't you ever be happy? We can deal with all of that later. Just enjoy the moment. _

"I never thought you were one to stay in bed all morning," she said aloud.

"I'll make an exception today," he said, running his finger up and down her arm.

"I'm going to fall asleep again," she warned.

"Be my guest, darling," he said, and she chuckled at the new term of endearment.

Saedra was true to her word, and in five minutes she was in a deep sleep. When she woke up, it was midday and Peter was gone. She gingerly climbed out of bed, her stomach aching with hunger. She washed herself, dressed, and went to the hall where lunch was being served. Peter, Talia, Susan, and Lucy were already there with the others, just beginning to eat. She went over to the empty spot next to Susan and sat down. She locked eyes with Peter as she did so, and a meaningful look passed between them.

Susan leaned in and asked softly, "Are you all right, Sae?"

"Of course! Why do you ask?"

"You sat down awkwardly, that's all. Did you hurt yourself sledding yesterday?"

Saedra bit her lip to stifle a giggle, and Susan raised her eyebrows. "No?"

"No, I didn't hurt myself sledding."

Susan studied her for a moment, and then said, "_Ah_."

"Ah?"

"So that's where you two were at dinner. I had my suspicions, especially with the way you were acting all day..."

Saedra couldn't hide her silly grin and glanced over at Peter again. He was watching her.

"I'll say no more," Susan whispered. "If you were married to anyone but my brother, I would want to know all of the gory details, but as it is I will choose to remain in the dark."

Saedra laughed and said, "All I know is that it is good to be back in Narnia."

Susan grinned and changed the subject. "So anyway, I've been thinking...I want to have an engagement party."

Saedra raised her eyebrows. "You haven't had one already?"

"I wasn't about to have it with you and Peter and Edmund and Lucy and Talia away!"

Saedra giggled. "True, true. When do you want it?"

"I was thinking Christmas Eve. But then I was worried...do you think the holiday would distract from the engagement?"

"Hm," Saedra paused to think. "I think it could be very nice, actually. The castle will be decorated and everything would be really beautiful. The problem is the weather. It's two months away, but do you think that people will be able to travel in the snow?"

"That's another problem I've been trying to work out," Susan sighed. "I'd love it to be a large celebration, but I don't think nobles from out of country will want to travel up here twice, once for the party and then for the wedding."

"Maybe you can make the engagement party for the Narnians, then have the wedding be huge. Unless you would rather have a large party and a smaller wedding."

"No, I want the wedding to be huge. That's a good notion to have the party just for us Narnians. You know, that's what I'll do! That's enough time for Ed to come back as well, so everything will be perfect."

* * *

But the two months flew by, and Edmund still did not return. Snow continued to coat the face of Narnia, and the Narnians prepared for the upcoming party and Christmas. Susan was in her element-planning-while Peridan was there to support her from the side all the way. Lucy and Saedra would also help when asked for advice.

Meanwhile, Saedra's days were filled with teaching Talia her lessons, twice-a-week sword lessons with Peter and Talia, governing Harden over mail, and getting used to her new arrangements with Peter. One would think that that sharing sleeping quarters with the High King of Narnia would be exceedingly glamorous and romantic, but Saedra found out right away that that was certainly not the case.

Yes, she had Peter were happier now than they had ever been, but their timing to finally move their relationship forward could not have been worse. They had missed the stage where they could shirk their duties to be with each other...that had passed half a year before. They were finally in their sparks-flying, giddy-with-attraction stage, but there was no time for it. With Edmund still gone, Peter had almost twice as much work to do; he would always come back to bed late, and though it was rare and Saedra always tried to be awake when he came back, sometimes she would have drifted off to sleep already.

But despite the demands on both of their times, Peter and Saedra would spend one day a week where they would shove their duties aside and do something as a family with Talia. Talia's favorite thing to do was to go hiking through the forests and meet the Trees and other creatures, so that is what they usually did. It had more than one benefit, because the creatures were always beside themselves with excitement about meeting the royal family, and Peter was able to speak with the inhabitants one on one.

The more time Saedra spent around and with Peter, the more and more she knew that she was falling back in love with him. Her face lit up whenever she was around him, and there was a permanent smile on her face. The past was in the past. It didn't matter what had happened between them when Rabadash and Rahai were visiting Cair Paravel; it didn't matter why Peter married her. All that mattered was now: the busy days and intermittent passionate nights. There simply wasn't time to dwell on things that seemed to have no bearing on her current happy status...no need to rock the boat. Everything was finally coming together, for Saedra and Peter as well as for Susan and Peridan.

The day of Susan's engagement party crept up quickly, and soon Peter and Saedra were in their bedroom getting ready for the party. They had transferred his things from his room to hers since hers was the nicer.

"I can't believe Ed hasn't come back yet," Saedra said from her seat in front of the vanity. She was putting the last pins in her loose bun. "Su's really disappointed about that. She was counting on the fact that he'd be here by now."

"I know," Peter sighed, walking over and leaning against the dresser. "I fear that I've waited too long to start making inquiries about him. After Christmas I'm going to make arrangements to send out people to search for him."

She turned her head every which way to examine her handiwork, then stood up and looked at him. "Well, I guess we'll have to be extra jolly to make up for it. This is Susan's day, and everything needs to be wonderful for her."

Peter's furrowed brow softened, and he smiled and cupped her chin in his palm. "You're so thoughtful."

Saedra laughed. "And don't you forget it!"

Peter chuckled and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Shall we go get Tal?"

The party was everything that Susan wanted it to be, save for Edmund's absence. A light new layer of snow was falling outside, Christmas decorations were everywhere, and the hall was lit by a multitude of candles that cast a glow over the dim room. After a very filling dinner, people milled about the room socializing with each other.

Susan found Saedra where she was talking with Lucy and Tumnus and said excitedly, "Sae, go find Peter! I want to start the dancing."

Saedra grinned at her and said, "Of course, my Queen."

Susan was too wound-up to catch Saedra's teasing tone at her bossiness. "Who are you going to dance with, Lu?"

Lucy raised her eyebrows, gave a light shrug, and glanced at Tumnus.

"Well, find someone," Susan said distractedly. "I'm going to tell them to start the music." The three of them watched her hurry off with amused expressions.

"She's really in her element, isn't she?" Tumnus asked with laughter in his voice.

Saedra laughed, "Well, I'd better go find that husband of mine. Want me to find you someone to dance with, Lu?"

"No, I think I'll be fine," Lucy assured her, glancing at the Faun again.

Saedra wandered around until she spotted Peter, then went up where he was talking to Stamprin and Moonshackle.

He noticed her right away and said, "Hello, my dear!"

"Susan told me to fetch you so we can start the dancing," she said, very aware of Stamprin's piercing gaze on her.

Peter smiled then said to the Dwarves, "I'd better heed my sister's wish. We shall continue this conversation later."

Saedra gave Stamprin a small smirk, just to annoy him; she hadn't forgiven the Dwarf for using Talia for information. He merely stared back seriously.

The Dwarves bowed to Peter, then he turned and wrapped his arm around Saedra's waist as they headed over to the dance floor.

"Stamprin doesn't let up, does he?" Saedra asked. "Does he ever have fun?"

"In his own way, I suppose," Peter laughed. "I think he's so serious because he's afraid I might drink too much and do something scandalous."

"Scandalous? What do you mean by 'scandalous?' I can't imagine the High King Peter doing anything that would warrant the definition of scandalous!"

"This," he replied, then planted a long kiss on her lips.

When he pulled back, she gasped, "Peter, how much have you had to drink?"

"Why do you assume I've been drinking a lot?" he asked jovially, pulling her onto the dance floor where the music was beginning.

"Because you're grinning like an idiot, that's why!"

He laughed and said, "Can't a man be happy without someone thinking there are darker forces at work? I have a wonderful wife and daughter, my sister is marrying one of the best men I know, and Narnia is prospering. I think I'm allowed to smile!" He leaned in and added, "Besides, you're smiling just as much as I am."

Saedra tried to wipe the idiotic grin off of her face. "I'm smiling just because you're smiling!"

"And what if I'm smiling just because you're smiling?"

She threw her head back and guffawed. "You are too much, your Majesty."

"And you, my Lady, are too beautiful," he countered.

She had a witty remark on the tip of her tongue-truly, she did-but it didn't come out. Maybe it was his wonderful mood, maybe it was hers, maybe it was the romantic atmosphere...maybe it was all of those things, but instead of the snappy joke she had in mind what she blurted was:

"I love you."

Peter's smile faded into a surprised, serious expression, and he pulled their dancing to a stop in the middle of the dance floor. He looked at her without speaking and seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for her to repeat what she had said in case he had misheard.

Saedra looked even more shocked than he did at her declaration, but then a small, sly smile crept onto her face. She inched closer and said again, "I love you, Peter."

A strange expression crossed his face, and at first she thought he looked like he was going to cry. His eyes shone and he said sincerely, "I love _you_, Saedra."

Warmth flooded her body; it was as if she was basking in the warmth of the love that was radiating from his eyes.

Whatever was happening around them was a blur. All they saw was each other. She let go of his hands and wrapped them around his neck, while he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer. They inclined their heads towards each other and kissed deeply, completely oblivious to the people around them.

When they pulled back for air, they were shocked to hear loud applause greet them. They looked around and saw that the music had stopped, and with it the dancing. Almost every eye in the room was on them and had witnessed their passionate kiss.

Normally Saedra would have been mortified at their public display of affection, but she couldn't care less that half of Narnia had seen her making out with her husband. She wanted to scream from the rooftops...he _loved_ her! The world needed to know!

Peter and Saedra looked back and each other and smiled, their noses close enough to touch.

"Now I know what you mean by 'scandalous,'" Saedra whispered as the music started up again.

Peter kissed her again, then murmured in her ear, "Meet me in the southern passage in fifteen."

Saedra blinked in surprise and whispered back, "We can't leave the party!"

Oh, did she ever want to!

Peter only looked at her, then jerked his head towards where Susan and Peridan were dancing closely, also in their own world. "I don't think she'll miss us. Neither will Tal."

Talia was happily dancing with some Dryads in a circle.

Saedra glanced around the room, then smiled conspiratorially. "All right."

They reluctantly released each other and went their separate ways through the room. Saedra walked along the edge of the dance floor, noting that Lucy had found a dance partner in Tumnus. Saedra said what she had to say to the people that came up to her, laughed along with the teasings about her big kiss with Peter, and did whatever it took to get to edge of the room. After what seemed like forever, she escaped and hurriedly walked through the dark hallways towards the southern passage.

Peter wasn't there yet, so she leaned against the wall to wait, her face beaming in the darkness as she replayed the dance in her mind. After what seemed like ages-but was more like five minutes-Peter rounded the corner.

She stood up and said in a mock-accusing voice, "You're late."

He sauntered over, engulfed her in his arms, and kissed her sensually. "Trust me, it was no fault of mine."

"Passing the blame, are we?"

A low chuckle rumbled in his throat and he said, "Is there any way I can make it up to you?"

Saedra giggled, but then a sound to her left made her turn her head.

Peter didn't see her movement through the darkness, so he leaned down expecting her lips-but met her cheek.

Saedra put her hand up to his scruffy chin. "Someone's out here," she whispered.

Peter perked up and turned in the direction that she had heard the noise come from, also hearing it now. It was the sound of footsteps, and it was coming closer.

"Who's there?" Peter called out.

"Peter?" the person asked.

Saedra froze. She knew that voice.

"Edmund?"


	30. Lasaraleen's Man Slave

**Lasaraleen's Man Slave**

* * *

Peter and Saedra pulled away from each other, both looking in the direction that the voice had come from. The only light in the dark hallway was coming from a passage that led back to the party, and the owner of the voice stepped into the beam of light.

Saedra had been sure the voice was Edmund's, but the form in the light sure didn't look like his. The man appeared to be bald, very tan, and was wearing plain clothes like the kind that the peasants wore back in Harden.

Peter and Saedra walked over slowly, still unsure if it really was Edmund. When they were close enough to see his grinning face, they shouted for joy and Peter embraced him.

"Can't even recognize your own brother, hm?" Edmund laughed, slapping his back.

"Under the circumstances, I think I can be pardoned," Peter replied. "I was expecting a King of Narnia, not a Calormene in Archenlander clothing!"

Peter rubbed the very short fuzz of hair on Edmund's head before pulling back so Saedra could hug him.

Saedra smiled and hugged Edmund. "By the Lion, it's good to see you! We've all been so worried."

"Nice to know I was missed!" Edmund said teasingly.

Saedra pulled back and studied him. He seemed so different, and it wasn't just his appearance. He was genuinely happy—nay, he was beaming. He didn't have the pained look he used to have when he was pining for Saedra. He looked at Saedra with a happy expression that had no hidden meaning behind it, other than he was pleased to see her and Peter and thrilled be home. There was a fire in him that she hadn't seen in him ever before, a secret joy that lit a fire in his eyes.

As Peter and Edmund teased each other about nothing, Saedra didn't pay attention. She was trying to gauge how she felt about this new Edmund who looked at her in such a different way. True, she didn't think she could ever love Edmund the way that she had come to love Peter, but it felt like a chapter had closed in her life. It had been flattering to know that she had the love of Edmund, and now she could plainly see that his affection for her was simply the love of a brother for a sister—or very close to it. She felt a sense of loss, but also a sense of great relief. _It_ was over. The question was, why?

"Are you coming, Sae?" Peter asked. He and Edmund had moved to the entrance to the hallway leading back to the party, while she was still standing back in the same place.

"Oh—of course!" she said and caught up to them. "Su has been praying that you would come back by tonight, Ed. This will make her night."

"What's so special to Su about tonight?" Edmund asked. "Besides the fact that it's Christmas Eve."

"It's her engagement party," Peter explained. "She held it off as long as she could, but she and Peridan are having a terrible time waiting to be married."

Edmund laughed. "Poor Su. She's been wanting to get married since last spring!"

When Edmund, Peter, and Saedra entered the party hall, there was no reaction because no one recognized Edmund in his strange getup. But as they walked onto the dance floor to intercept Susan and Peridan, Susan spotted them and squealed at the top of her lungs, "_Edmund_!" She threw her arms around her younger brother's neck.

"Su!" Edmund gasped in a raspy voice. "Do let me have some air!"

Lucy and Talia came running over and greeted Edmund when Susan finally released him. The music had stopped, and the Narnians gathered around to see their King. There were a lot of murmurings and jokes about Edmund's appearance.

"When do we get to hear your tale, Ed?" Lucy asked loudly over all of the conversations.

"Yes!" Talia exclaimed. "Tell us everything, Uncle!"

Edmund laughed and said, "Father Christmas will be here before I get halfway done with it!"

"So?" Talia pressed, hopping up and down excitedly.

Edmund sighed dramatically and took Talia's hand in his. "You win, little Princess. Let's go sit down and I'll tell you everything."

Peter, Saedra, Susan, Peridan, and Lucy followed him to a table and sat down around him. As the party continued, he began his tale.

* * *

_Finding out what happened to the Lone Island's rogue taxes had been an excuse, not a reason to stay behind in Narrowhaven. Edmund had been deeply hurt by Saedra's rejection of his love, but he couldn't help but love her even more for being so noble. Though he put up a front of "just friends" for Saedra's peace of mind, he was still in turmoil more than ever._

_He had come to terms with two things on the trip that had been haunting him, however. The first was that he and Saedra would never, ever be together. The other was that Saedra still loved Peter—no matter how much she tried to hide it. There had been a change in her after the night in which Lucy had wrongly accused them of having an affair; she was more pleasant and made fewer biting comments towards Peter. Something had definitely changed between Edmund's brother and his wife, and it had nothing to do with Edmund._

_So even though he was thoroughly miserable, he now knew that he had accomplished his original goal: Saedra was married to the man she loved. How she and Peter ran their marriage was their business, not his._

_Edmund wasn't a stupid enough man to expect that ignoring his pain would make it go away. He couldn't ignore it no matter what he did, anyway, but he did hope that by throwing himself into doing something useful he wouldn't become melancholy. Thus as soon as the Splendor Hyaline left Narrowhaven's port, he had a conference with Cedric and his advisors._

_"Now that we are all here, kindly explain to me how the taxes are transported from here to Narnia. I know a little of it, but not enough to help me," Edmund said._

_One of the advisors lifted his hand to indicate that he would like to speak, and Cedric nodded at him._

_The advisor stood up and said, "As your Majesty knows, there's no direct trading between the Lone Islands and Narnia. For this reason, it is much safer and efficient to take advantage of the established trading routes between us and the mainland to transport currency. The closest port to Narnia is Tashbaan's, and so it is brought there and transferred to another company's charge. That company brings goods along the coast of the Bight of Calormen up to the Harden Province in Anvard by boat. There it makes a stop and is transferred to another carrier which continues up the coast to Cair Paravel."_

_"And so it could be along any of these stops that the taxes could have been stolen," Edmund surmised. "How many people know of this route?"_

_"Very few," another advisor replied. "Only the highest people in each company know what they are really transporting among their other goods, to reduce the chance of theft. The taxes are well-hidden among the other things being transferred."_

_"Do you suspect the owners of the companies then?" Edmund asked._

_"They have already been investigated," Cedric said. "As soon as your Majesty arrived and told me of the problem, I had them watched and questioned. The owners know nothing of the shipment other than it was shipped out this past summer. The boats it was loaded onto have yet to return, and the owners are just beginning to suspect foul play now."_

_"So someone aboard must have discovered the money," Edmund said._

_"That would have been our best guess," Cedric replied, "but I've just learned that the ships did indeed dock at Tashbaan. We suspect that it is somewhere up the chain that the money was stolen."_

_"It could have been stopped on the way to Harden…or even there…" Edmund thought aloud. "I wonder if Lady Saedra would know." It would be a good place to start to narrow down the options, though it would slow down the investigation to write to her._

_"She wouldn't," an advisor said. "None of the rulers in the countries we go through know of this arrangement."_

_With that option shot down, Edmund decided, "I'd like to meet with the shipping company owners."_

_And he did the next day. The three owners of were extremely obliging, and it was apparent to Edmund that they were innocent. There was no reason for them to risk their well-to-do trading company, Reliable's Royal Relays, by getting between the Narnian and Lone Island governments._

_Edmund decided that he could learn no more unless he travelled to Tashbaan, and he asked them for a post on a ship that was due to leave for Tashbaan. At first they were shocked that a King of Narnia would stoop so low as to want to work on a ship incognito, but then they realized that he must have some master plan that they were unaware of. They put him on the next ship to Tashbaan as a sailor._

_At first it was very strange to Edmund to change his name and serve under another person, but soon he became accustomed to it. Weeks passed as he worked on the ship as the Lone Islander "Jarid" and got to know the other sailors and their stories. The manual labor hardened his muscles in ways they hadn't been used before, and he became very tan. He became grimy, grew out his beard, and wore rough clothes, and soon he was indistinguishable from any other sailor._

_Thus when the ship he was on was attacked by pirates the day before it was to make port in Tashbaan, no one ever guessed that he was King Edmund._

_The pirate ship came upon Edmund's ship at dinnertime, headed in the opposite direction. They simply cut off their path, sidled up next to them, swarmed the ship, and took over. There were enough of them that Edmund's shipmates knew better than to fight, and since Edmund didn't want to stand out as an exceptional swordsman and still couldn't have held off the pirates single-handedly, he didn't fight either._

_When the ship was fully in the possession of the pirates, they lined up their new prisoners and looked them over one by one. Arriving at Edmund, the captain commented, "Fine one, this. Filthy, of course, but look at how he stands. Well-bred. This one we can take to the Grand Vizier."_

_The first mate said, "He's handsome, to be sure. But the posture's too haughty for the Grand Vizier."_

_"We could break him," the captain replied._

_"But wouldn't it be better just to sell him than to damage the wares?" the other asked shrewdly. "We'd get a fair price for him in the market. The Grand Vizier likes his slaves to be meek, but some Tarkaans like their slaves well brought-up."_

_"Aye, true that. He'll bring in a good price. We could give this other fellow to the Grand Vizier."_

_The new captives were rounded up and chained below decks for a miserably uncomfortable night. The next day they were brought back out on the deck to find that their ship had been docked at Tashbaan. They were cleaned, shaved from head to toe, and given loincloths to wear. Their hands were chained together and they were paraded off the ship with their necks chained to each other's, forming a line._

_The whole spectacle was humiliating, but Edmund was strangely detached. He hadn't been chained since he had been in the clutches of the White Witch, and his mind kept wandering back to that time as they walked over the splintery dock._

_The captives were paraded through the city gates and to the slave marketplace. As they went, people hardly gave them a second glance._

_The slave marketplace was the largest open area Edmund had ever seen outside of the Tisroc's palace walls. Off to one side attached to a building was a high wooden platform used to show off the wares. Even though it was early in the day, there were already slaves being auctioned off by an obese man with a loud voice. A crowd stood around the platform, made up of finely dressed slaves who were there on behalf of their masters, and Tarkaans sitting in their litters held up by slaves._

_Edmund and the crew were led up the stairs and to the back of the platform, where they stood waiting until the other batch of slaves was gone. Then one by one their neck shackles were unlocked and they were brought up to the center of the stage to be bidded on._

_When they got to Edmund, the slave auctioneer said, "Look at this fine young man. In the prime of life! Look at that handsome face and toned chest! Teeth are as perfect as can be! A bit lofty, but nothing that a little work won't cure. Strong enough for manual labor and pretty enough for housework. Shall we start the bidding at…?"_

_The bidding started and climbed higher than it had all morning. Eventually he was sold to a Tarkaan who had been bidding from a litter. One of the Tarkaan's attendants came up to get Edmund, and he was brought back to the Tarkaan._

_The Tarkaan was a middle-aged man, very fat as rich men in Calormen generally were, and had a dull, bored look on his face. He looked Edmund up and down and said, "Yes, he will do very nicely. My wife has wanted a man slave for some time. Yes, he will do. Take me home."_

_The last order was so indistinguishable from his assessment of his new slave that Edmund didn't catch it until the slaves—who must have learned to listen very closely to catch orders from their master—went into action. Edmund was tied to the litter along with a short woman and a white-haired man that had been bought earlier, and followed along as they went back to the Tarkaan's house._

_They travelled to the nicer area of Tashbaan higher up by the Tisroc's palace, and eventually arrived at the Tarkaan's estate. The Tarkaan was let out of the litter at the doorway, and the three slaves were untied and left standing there, uncertain what to do. The Tarkaan ignored them and went into the house._

_Edmund was just deciding whether he should make a break for it or not when someone came out; it was a well-dressed male slave._

_He went to them and said, "Follow me. And welcome to the household. You are very lucky that you have been brought here. Master is kind as long as you do what you are told and don't attract attention of the mistress."_

_They went through the smaller side passages of the building, ones that the members of the family would never have gone through. Edmund had never noticed such passages in the Tisroc's palace but guessed that slaves must have come and gone unnoticed through them there as well._

_"Here's the kitchen where you," he pointed to the woman, "will be working. The last cook was beaten to death under the orders of the mistress, so mind that you're careful what you make. You'll be under the head cook's charge."_

_The head cook came over and steered the now-terrified woman away. Edmund wasn't sure whether the head slave had been joking or not._

_"Follow me," the head slave said to the remaining two men._

_They went through some more passages, up some stairs, and entered a bright, spacious hallway that was lined with pictures and plants. They stopped at a door, and the head slave knocked._

_"Come in," a faint female voice said._

_The slave motioned for Edmund to follow him into the room, and he did so. The other slave stayed outside._

_Lounging in bed was a girl in her late teens wearing a very colorful dress that exposed her soft stomach. She wore a lot of jewelry, and the room reeked of perfume. She was sitting and munching on a snack, looking bored. She looked up eagerly when the slave and Edmund came in, as if she wanted something—anything—to distract herself from her boredom._

_When Edmund saw her face, he recognized her instantly. He had seen her many times with Saedra and Rahai the last time he had been in Tashbaan, and she had also been at Peter and Saedra's wedding with Saedra's family. It was the Tarkheena Lasaraleen._

_"Mistress, I bring you a gift from your husband," the slave said after bowing and gestured towards Edmund. "This man slave for your enjoyment."_

_Lasaraleen sat up and looked Edmund up and down. One can hardly blame her for not realizing that he was the King of Narnia; he was very tan, shirtless, crownless, and hairless. Only his posture could give away his royalty, and that wasn't enough to reveal him as a person that she was merely acquaintances with._

_A sly smile crept onto her face as she examined him. Yes, he would do._

_"Tell my husband that I'm very grateful for his present," she said._

_The head slave bowed and backed out of the room, closing the door behind him._

_Lasaraleen got up from the bed and sauntered around Edmund in a circle, examining him._

_"So, you are to be my toy, ah?" She squeezed his muscular arm playfully. "What's your name, slave?"_

_"Edmund" was on the tip of his tongue, but he checked himself just in time._

_He knew she was Saedra and Rahai's friend, but it didn't mean she was trustworthy. As he thought this, he realized that there was only one person in Tashbaan that he could trust, and it was Saedra's cousin Rahai. Even though Saedra had disliked her once, he knew that she would trust Rahai with her life now. He saw the guidance of Aslan in his journey, for since Lasaraleen and Rahai were good friends, Rahai was bound to come over._

_"Jarid," he replied._

_"Mm," she hummed. "Nice, strong northern name. I like it!" She went back to the bed and lounged in what she thought was a seductive pose. "So Jarid, how experienced are you? Have you received the proper training?"_

_"Um, no," Edmund said confusedly._

_A smirk spread over Lasarleen's mouth. "Then I get to break you in, so to speak." She giggled delightedly. "Have you ever been with a woman?"_

_Edmund blinked. "What?"_

_"You know, have you ever slept with a woman?" More giggles._

_Edmund's cheeks burned and he cursed himself for ever thinking it was a good idea to come to Tashbaan. "No," he admitted._

_"Delightful!" she snickered._

_It finally clicked in his mind what kind of job he was expected to perform. All he knew was he certainly was not going to be the play thing of Saedra's friend!_

_"Um, there may be a problem, Mistress."_

_Lasaraleen blinked and took in Edmund's bright red face. She studied him for a moment. "Oh I see, I see! You are unable…I see…"_

_Edmund could die from embarrassment, but it was the only way he could think of getting out of the situation without compromising his mission._

_Lasaraleen looked disappointed for a moment, but snapped out of it quickly._

_"Well, at least you'll be good company. And my husband will be relieved when I tell him. It took me a long time to convince him to get me a man slave. He said he didn't care that they're in fashion, he just wasn't comfortable…"_

_She prattled on and on, but Edmund didn't care. He was ready to faint from relief that he had gotten out of that horrific situation with such ease._


	31. How Rahai Made Herself Useful

**How Rahai Made Herself Useful**

* * *

"Let me get this straight, Ed," Susan said. "The obnoxious Tarkheena who's friends with Sae and Rahai was your mistress?"

Edmund grinned sheepishly. "Yep."

"Did she beat you?" Saedra asked, wide-eyed. She knew all too well what her young, spoiled friend was capable of doing to her slaves.

"And wreck this handsome, perfectly-formed physique?" Edmund asked, raising his arms as if to invite people to look upon his body. "Never!"

Peter grunted very loudly at that, but all at the table were glad to see that the funny, sarcastic Edmund that had disappeared for almost a year had returned. All laughed at the joke.

"Back to the story, Uncle!" Talia urged anxiously over the dying laughter. "What happened next?"

"Well, nothing especially exciting happened for a while. A few weeks passed as I bided my time, waiting for an opportunity to learn more about the taxes. Tarkheena Rahai hadn't shown up, and I was wondering if she ever would, until finally…"

* * *

_"Slave, I'm having a visitor for brunch today," Lasaraleen said from her usual lounging-on-the-bed position._

_Her rambunctious pet monkey (to whom Edmund had been attending more than anything else, making him wonder if he was really the monkey's slave) was flying around the room and making a racket. Edmund would follow it to pick up any scraps of broken pottery or knickknacks that the monkey left in its trail. It was rather demeaning._

_Lasaraleen continued, "I want you to bring two meals up today, understand? And do make sure the food is good. My poor friend is having some family troubles, so we want this visit to be as pleasant as possible for her. She's in a sorry state lately, not being able to visit me. Ever since our friend's wedding last spring she's hardly been able to visit at all!"_

_"Yes, mistress," he replied._

_Could she be talking about Rahai? He couldn't think of what kind of family troubles Rahai would have, but guessed it might have to do with her younger sisters. Maybe one of their engagements fell through or the marriage didn't go as well as hoped._

_A little while later, Edmund was sent down to the kitchens to get the trays of food. He felt excitement flow through him at the prospect of seeing Rahai and finally moving on with the mission. He'd wasted enough time already serving Lasaraleen's monkey._

_As he expertly balanced the trays while going up the stairs to the first landing, he momentarily started to doubt the wisdom of trusting Rahai. Why did he think he could trust her so much, anyway? He'd looked forward to this for weeks, but now that it was upon him he was having reservations._

Aslan_, he thought, _If Rahai can help me with this mission, please let her recognize me. But not so that Lasaraleen will know too, unless that would help-though I don't think it would. And please give us an opportunity to talk. And please help us do this quickly. I would like to be back to Narnia by Susan's wedding…

_Feeling like he'd asked a bit too much, he rounded the corner to get to the stairs that led from the main floor to the second floor. But he shouldn't have been so close to the corner, for he didn't see that someone was coming the other way. He crashed into that other person, sending the trays flying._

_Out of habit, he stared at the ground and said, "I'm sorry!" He squatted down on the ground and started cleaning up. After a moment of this, he realized that the person hadn't moved from their spot, so he looked up._

_It was Rahai. She was staring down at him with her mouth half ajar, looking like she'd seen a ghost. Her grey eyes were wide._

_He stood up. "Is everything all right, Tarkheena?"_

_By the Mane, she was beautiful. Even shocked witless and looking like she was going to hurl, she was still stunning._

_She mouthed some words, glancing down at his body and quickly up again. "Yes. Yes. You just-you just remind me of someone that I cared—that I knew." She still looked faintly ill, as if she had received a great shock._

_Edmund forgot about the spilled bowls and plates and said in a low voice, "And who might that be, Tarkheena?" He was so intent on seeing if she recognized him that it didn't sink in until much later what she had almost said._

_She looked at him for a moment more, then her face drained of color. She slapped her hands over her mouth. "No…by the Lion, I would never have guessed…"_

_"You swear by the Lion, Tarkheena?"_

_She hadn't seemed to have heard what he said; she simply stared at him. "King Edmund?"_

_Thinking fast, Edmund gripped her arm and pulled her into the nearest room. It was the vacant party hall where Saedra had gotten drunk and he'd had to calm her down. He shut the door behind them._

_Rahai looked up at him, her normally composed face white. "Your Majesty, I-"_

_"We haven't much time, Tarkheena," Edmund said urgently. "I'm on a mission, and I need your help."_

_"What do you need me to do?"_

_"I need you to get me out of here," he said._

_She was silent, thinking a moment. Then she nodded. "I know exactly what to do."_

* * *

_A short while later, Lasaraleen and Rahai were sitting at a table on Lasaraleen's deck. The accursed monkey was dipping his fingers into their drinks, the only things on the table, when Edmund came out bearing new trays of food._

_Rahai looked up quickly, glanced at the King clothed in a loincloth, then glanced away quickly, her expression embarrassed again. She quickly composed herself, and as Edmund set the food on the table, she interrupted Lasaraleen's ramblings to say, "My, what a handsome man slave you have, my friend!"_

_"Why, yes! It's too bad you haven't come by in such a long time. My husband gave him to me a few weeks ago, and he's quite the looker, isn't he?" Lasaraleen giggled._

_"Yes, he is," Rahai said, all embarrassment banished from her face. She examined Edmund as if there was nothing special about him and as if she was merely admiring Lasaraleen's new slave. "Where's he from?"_

_Lasaraleen waved her hand. "Oh, I don't know. Some island somewhere."_

_"Hm, I wonder if he knows anything that could help my grandmother…" Rahai said with a thoughtful, contemplative expression on her face._

_Lasaraleen perked up. "What do you mean? How would this slave be able to help your grandmother if the best doctors in Tashbaan can't?"_

_Rahai looked down suddenly, looking like she wanted to cry. Edmund, who was hovering around them arranging plates which had already been arranged twice, was sure she was faking. Rahai was many things, but wasn't especially emotional, at least from he had seen._

_Upon seeing Rahai's distress, Lasaraleen put on a sympathetic face, reached over and put her hand on Rahai's arm, and said, "Oh dearie, your grandmother will get better."_

_Rahai shook her head. "They say she's going to die."_

_Edmund wasn't sure what Rahai was doing or if she was telling the truth, but it was working…whatever it was. Lasaraleen looked like she'd do anything for her sad friend._

_Rahai continued, "They say the only thing that might help her is medicine that we don't have here in Calormen, so I've been trying to find people from other countries to help her."_

_"Have you written to Saedra?" Lasaraleen asked. "Maybe she could help."_

_"Oh, you know how slow the mail is between us and Narnia," Rahai half-wailed._

_Lasaraleen looked alarmed, and turned to Edmund. "Slave, where are you from?"_

_"The Lone Islands, mistress," he replied._

_"Do you know anything that might help an old dying woman?" Lasaraleen pressed._

_"Well, my pa was a doctor," Edmund lied, getting an idea of what Rahai was doing._

_Aslan forgive me, he prayed. But then he tried to picture his father, and he strangely couldn't. For all he knew, his father could have been a doctor! But why can't I remember?_

_Rahai lit up. "He was?"_

_"Yes, ma'am," he replied._

_"Well, I think we might have solved your problem, Rahai!" Lasaraleen exclaimed. "You can take my man slave and see if he can help your grandmother!"_

_Rahai looked at her with wide eyes. "I couldn't take him from you!"_

_"Oh, yes you can! In fact, as much as it'll pain me deeply to lose him, you may keep him. Gods know you need the company more than I do since you aren't married. My husband is always here to keep me company."_

_She was lying through her teeth. Edmund hadn't seen her and her husband together during the day once. Nights were another matter, depending on her husband's mood._

_"You're too kind!" Rahai said, looking supremely happy. "I really appreciate this, Lasaraleen."_

_The younger Tarkheena beamed, thoroughly enjoying being useful to someone._

* * *

_After a long lunch, Rahai took Edmund back with her back to her father's estate. They shared the litter, pulling back the curtains so they could talk. As soon as they were lifted off of the ground, Rahai blurted in a hushed tone, "Your Majesty, what in the world are you doing down here—and in such a state?"_

_Edmund answered her by telling her his whole adventure, from Narrowhaven to the pirates attack to being sold as a slave. She listened quietly without interrupting as was customary for Calormenes listening to tales._

_"...And that is my story, Tarkheena," he concluded. "My best clue so far as to who might be involved is Ahoshta Tarkaan."_

_"Why is that, your Majesty?" she asked._

_"It's a long shot, but it's because the pirates seemed like they were working for him, like they had an intimate relationship with him. It's possible that the pirates may have stolen the taxes when they arrived in Tashbaan and that Ahoshta may have been involved."_

_Rahai leaned her head to one side, thinking. "Those are lot of assumptions you're making there, your Majesty."_

_"I'm aware of that, but I just got this feeling from the way the pirates talked…"_

_"Then let us hope your intuitions have been guided by Aslan," said Rahai contentedly._

_Edmund studied her. "That's several times you have referred to the Lion today, Tarkheena. I've never met a follower of Aslan that was Calormene before, aside from Lady Aravis."_

_"Well, I've always disliked the gods because of the way their followers treat 'inferiors' like women and slaves. I'd always thought if that's the way the gods make people, then why should I worship them?" Rahai shrugged. "When I met all of your Majesties up in Cair Paravel, I thought, 'Now, they have something that I don't!' I heard you always referring to the Lion, and I finally understood what it meant when Saedra wrote me to tell me that she'd seen the Lion personally in Anvard. I knew then that the Lion was real, and since then I've been trying to find out as much as possible about him. Saedra's been a great help in that area."_

_He smiled. "Then Aslan has truly been guiding my path. I had started to fear that maybe you'd been married or no longer friends with Lasaraleen when you didn't show up for so long."_

_"Oh, no," she laughed. "Me married! No, it's because my grandmother truly has been sick these past weeks. She is quite ill, but the doctors can't find what's wrong with her. I've been spending most of my days tending to her and reading to her so she can be distracted from the pain."_

_"I'm deeply saddened to hear that, Tarkheena. Have you told Saedra yet?"_

_"It's all very new, but yes, your Majesty, I did write to Cair Paravel to let her know what's been happening. I don't expect a reply for a couple of weeks."_

_"You may not get one for longer," Edmund said. "She's been travelling with us most of the summer, and she won't be going back to Cair Paravel. She's going back to Harden to attend to her duties there."_

_"That would explain why I haven't heard from her in so long. I hope the letter somehow reaches her, though there isn't any reason to come down here yet. How is she, anyway? How does she like being married?"_

_"Well, um…" he said, unsure what to say. "I honestly don't know. It was an arranged marriage, but I know that she and Peter do care about each other. They hit a rough patch, but last I saw they were trying to work it out."_

_Rahai studied him shrewdly, making him worry that she knew more about his feelings for Saedra than he wanted her to. "It'll be all right, your Majesty."_

_He wasn't sure whether she was referring to Peter and Saedra or him._

_When they arrived at Cradish's estate, Edmund silently followed Rahai though the lavish building. Unfortunately, they came across Cradish and his friend Abrastan while headed to Rahai's quarters._

_"What's this, daughter?" Cradish asked, eyeing Edmund._

_"This was a gift from Lasaraleen, Father," Rahai said, curtseying respectfully. "She's trying to help me fetch a husband, and so has given me her man slave so I might acquire some skills."_

_Cradish looked pleasantly surprised. "Why daughter, for once I find your friend's idea to be smart. I'd given up hope that you'd ever look for a husband. Why, you're almost twenty-one years old, almost a decade past the marital age! I'm pleased to see you haven't completely given up."_

_Abrastan looked at Rahai in surprise. "You're taking a man slave, Rahai?"_

_"Yes," Rahai said, looking him in the eye. If Edmund hadn't known otherwise, he would have believed her himself. "Do excuse me, Father, Tarkaan."_

_Edmund followed Rahai to her chambers, and she quickly shut the door behind her, rolling her eyes. "For the record, I'm almost twenty-two, not twenty-one. Shows how much my father cares about me."_

_A smile grew on Edmund's face at seeing Rahai unguarded and not so proper as she usually was around him. He liked it; this was a side of her that he'd never seen before, only heard hinted at from talking to Saedra._

_Rahai saw his grin and looked down in embarrassment. "Pardon me, your Majesty. I needn't burden you with my sarcasm."_

_"Nay, Tarkheena," he said, bowing slightly. "If I am to be your man slave, it's better that I know these things right away."_

_Rahai caught his teasing tone and said abashedly, "Your Majesty, I'm sorry about that. It was the only excuse I could think of-"_

_"No, it was brilliant," he corrected. "This way it won't seem out of the ordinary if we're around each other a lot."_

_"I just wish Abrastan hadn't been there," Rahai said, walking over to her couches and indicating that he should sit. "He hates the brothels, and hates personal slaves even more. He's always respected me, but now…"_

_"You speak of the other gentleman?" said Edmund, sitting down._

_"Yes. He's my father's best friend. He lives farther south but stays with us whenever business brings him to town. He's like an uncle to me, and probably the only person who doesn't daily nag me to find a husband."_

_"Saedra's explained to me the reason you haven't married, Tarkheena, and I admire that. But has it ever entered your mind what you'd do if your father died? Unless I'm mistaken, women are usually unable to inherit property in Calormen."_

_Rahai looked a little uneasy. "Well, Saedra did invite me to live with her, but that was before she got married. I honestly don't know, your Majesty. I don't know. But in a way, don't you think that's exciting? Not knowing? I mean, I could do like Tarkheena Aravis did to avoid marriage to Ahoshta Tarkaan and just run away to the North." She shrugged, smiling. "Or I could join a crew and sail to the ends of the earth! I want to prove to people that I can do things even though I'm a lady."_

_Edmund had thought Saedra had been special because she'd caused a stir in Archenland when she became Duchess, claiming that women could rule just as well as men could. He'd had no idea that other women in the world felt such a way. Susan and Lucy hadn't ever complained about unfair treatment—but now he realized that it was probably because they were equal to Edmund. They only became upset when ambassadors treated them differently, preferring to deal with Peter and Edmund because they were men._

_Perhaps Saedra's point of view isn't as unique as I thought. Even silent, genteel, ultra-gorgeous Rahai wanted to be taken seriously. And the more Edmund got to know Rahai, the more he saw how smart and capable she was, though she hid it behind a submissive, quiet façade. Had she been a man, she would have been educated and done great things, he was sure of it. Though somehow, he was strongly grateful that she wasn't a man._

_Edmund smiled and leaned forward. "Tarkheena, I pity anyone who stands in your way."_

_She grinned. "Thank you, your Majesty."_

_A minute later, a servant came in to tell Rahai that dinner was being served. She left Edmund and went to dinner, and he spent the time laying on the couch and thinking. The silence was notable without Lasaraleen's damned monkey._

_How could they get information about Ahoshta? He could try to break into his house, but he doubted that would be easy. And if he was caught, either he would be severely punished or killed—or worse, they would figure out who he was. That would cause bigger problems than they needed, and it wasn't worth the risk._

_Rahai returned in the middle of his musings, and announced, "I've figured out a way to get information about Ahoshta, your Majesty."_

_He sat up. "What is it, Tarkheena?"_

_"I seduce him."_

_Edmund coughed, choking on his words. "Pardon me?"_

_"I seduce him. I'll start by inviting him over to dinner, then he'll invite me over to dinner, and then he'll invite me to his chambers, and the whole time I'll be looking for information that would implicate him in the tax robbery." She said it so simply, as if there wasn't a great danger to her in all of it._

_"My Lady, I can't allow you to do that," Edmund said. "The risk to your safety is too great."_

_"Have you an alternate plan, your Majesty?" she asked, putting her hand on her hip in a gesture he figured she had probably learned from Saedra._

_"No, but to risk-"_

_"Your Majesty, I want to do this. I know I can."_

_"I hope you aren't doing this just to prove your worth, Tarkheena, because you have nothing to prove to me," he said, getting up and coming over to her. "I know you're brave and have big dreams, but I beg you to reconsider."_

_She looked up at him, her eyes nearly level with his. "If you order me not to, I won't. But you need help, your Majesty, and I don't see any other way."_

* * *

"You let her do it, didn't you?" Saedra asked with a knowing look in her eyes.

"I did," Edmund nodded. "She was right, and we couldn't find any other way."

Just then, Talia jumped out of her seat and squealed, "It that who I think it is?"

Saedra looked around, confused. She'd never spent Christmas in Narnia before, and didn't know what was happening. The creatures who had still been dancing and being merry were rushing to one area of the room, extremely excited.

She looked at Peter. "Who is it?"

He grinned down at her, taking her hand and heading over to the crowd. "It's Father Christmas."


	32. A Prophecy, a Conspiracy, and a Death

**A Prophecy, a Conspiracy, and a Death**

* * *

The crowd around Father Christmas slowly dispersed as he handed out presents to the eager Narnians. When they received their presents, they would thank him profusely and go admire them or try them out; there were Squirrels admiring tins of gourmet nuts, Fauns examining new instruments, and scores of others showing off their new gifts.

"He does this every year?" Saedra asked Peter as they watched on the edge of the swarm.

"Yes," he grinned. "We always stay up until midnight after the Christmas Eve party to see him and get presents."

The crowd around Father Christmas cleared out at last, and finally he was able to turn to the amused nobles. Talia was bouncing on the tips of her toes eagerly in front of the rest of them.

"High King Peter," Father Christmas bowed. "Queen Susan, King Edmund, Queen Lucy."

"Father Christmas," they replied, inclining their heads.

"It's always an honor to see you all," said he. "I trust you continue to use your gifts well."

"As best we know how," Edmund smiled.

In her eagerness, Talia had hopped her way right in front of Father Christmas, and he smiled down at her. "Ah, Princess Talia."

Talia blinked in surprise. "You know my name, sir?"

He smiled warmly. "Of course I do. How could I not know of the daughter of High King Peter?"

Talia blushed and watched attentively as Father Christmas bent over to reach into his bag. He pulled out a sword, shield, and a quiver of arrows, and handed them all to her. They were not the smaller child-sized ones she had been practicing with; rather, they were full-sized and heavy.

The thirteen-year-old Princess' eyes were wide as saucers. "All for me?"

"Yes, young Princess. But with them comes a great responsibility. There will come a day when these will be used to protect the lives of those closest to you. You must practice hard and use them well."

She looked up at him with a suddenly serious expression. "I will." She took them from him, struggling with the weight of all of the items.

He patted her head. "Good girl." He turned to Peridan. "Lord Peridan, it has been a long time."

"It has, Father," he nodded. "Too long."

"It would seem you have all that you ever wanted," Father Christmas' eyes twinkled as he inclined his head towards the grinning Queen Susan, "but I give you the unseeable gift of courage. Strong though you are, hard is the path in front of you, and there will be a time when courage is all you have, and all will be able to see it. Use it well."

Peridan studied Father Christmas seriously, his blue eyes uncomprehending, yet accepting and believing.

"Thank you, sir." He bowed slightly, then went back to Susan and intertwined his fingers with hers. Susan looked up at him with worried eyes and leaned into him.

Saedra had half a mind to ask Peter if Father Christmas was always this gloomy when Father Christmas turned to her, pulling out something small enough to fit in his hand.

"And for you, Princess Saedra, wife of the High King, I give this." He held out his palm to her, the gift resting in it. It twinkled in the candlelight.

She stepped forward and took it out of his hand. It was a necklace, a large gold ring on a golden chain. In the middle of the ring dangled a large clear star-shaped diamond.

"Thank you, sir," she said. "What is its purpose?"

Both Talia and Peridan's gifts had meanings behind them-and dire hints about the future in the words-so she had no doubt the necklace symbolized something.

_But it's so pretty, _she thought. _Maybe he shan't be so serious with it. _

"Its purpose is a warning," he said gravely.

"A warning? Of what?"

The round man took on an even more serious tone as he recited,

"The golden ring warns

Against completing the circle

By repeating the mistakes of the past.

The diamond is to remind

That the stars are watching

And will be there at the last."

Saedra clutched the necklace in her hand, marveling at his words.

_Repeating the mistakes of the past? What mistakes? And whose mistakes? Mine? _She couldn't even _begin_ to fathom what the stars had to do with her. _The last what?_

"I suppose you can't elaborate on what that means...?" Saedra asked.

"I only repeat the words that were given to me to say, your Highness," he replied, looking almost sympathetic.

"Thank you," she said, stepping back. She looked down at the trinket in her hand.

Father Christmas turned to the Four, and the mood was lightened as he gave them practical gifts, but Saedra hardly paid attention.

_Why a warning now? _she wondered. Things were going so well! She and Peter were closer than ever, Edmund seemed to be happy, and Talia was doing wonderfully in all aspects. There was no reason for Father Christmas to be so somber...none at all.

After sharing a midnight snack with the Narnians, Father Christmas left to continue his duties. The Narnians continued eating and drinking, re-energized by the visit. Susan and Peridan were talking in hushed voices in one area and Lucy and Peter were admiring Talia's gifts, making comments about them that made Talia blush with pleasure. Saedra went to the food table to get more to eat, then spotted Edmund watching the festivities quietly.

She went over to him where he was slowly sipping on his drink a little ways away from the others.

"Are Father Christmas' gifts always this foreboding?" she asked, fingering the necklace that was now around her neck.

He looked over at her, then down at her hand hiding the necklace. "Our first year he was a bit serious, but ever since the Witch was defeated he's been positively jolly. I'm a bit troubled about it, actually. It can't mean anything good."

"He only singled out Talia, Peridan, and me," she pointed out. "It's peculiar that he didn't include you or the others."

He nodded slowly, watching the revelry. "Very peculiar."

They stood in silence a moment.

"I don't get the feeling that the danger is close, though," Edmund said in a low voice after a moment. "The warning to you gives me the idea that he's trying to make us _alert,_ more than anything else."

Saedra nodded. "I think so as well. We should keep our eyes open for anything suspicious, though."

He nodded, looking down at her, this time _really _looking at her. He whispered, "It's really good to see you again, Sae."

She looked back at him unflinchingly. "I missed you so much, Ed."

He continued to look at her, then it seemed as a layer of emotion was peeled back from his face. He suddenly appeared more vulnerable, and perhaps a little scared, as if he had just remembered something important he'd forgotten to do. He swallowed and turned away, putting his goblet to his lips.

Saedra watched him, trying to decipher what the strange look had been about. He couldn't still…_not now_…

She was about to speak, when—

"Uncle Edmund!" Talia called, skipping over. "Shall we hear the rest of your tale? Father and Aunt Susan and Aunt Lucy and Lord Peridan are already back at the table."

When Edmund turned to Talia, the naked expression he had had was gone, and in its place was the happy one he had been wearing since arriving earlier that evening.

"Yes, let's."

He glanced at Saedra, raised his eyebrows, and tilted his head in Talia's direction as if to ask whether she would like to go first.

Saedra smiled, but the smile was a millisecond too late. She was sure he'd caught her puzzled expression, and instantly regretted being off guard. She didn't need any more uncertainty with Edmund, or things unsaid that would tear at them. She couldn't give him any reason to love her again by looking like she was _trying _to see if he still cared about her. That phase of their lives was over. A closed book that didn't need to be read again. Finished. Caput. Terminated.

She turned quickly and followed Talia over to the group at the table, and Edmund followed both of them.

"Now where were we?" Edmund asked, the last one to sit down.

"Tarkheena Rahai was going to help you spy on Ahoshta Tarkaan," Talia reminded, leaning up against Peter.

Saedra could see that the girl was dead-tired and getting a little giddy. Peter put his arm around Talia to allow her to rest against him more comfortably, and when he saw Saedra watching them, he smiled. Saedra's lips formed a small smile, briefing recalling what she and Peter had been about to do when Edmund had interrupted. It was a welcome relief to think about her husband, because there was no guilt attached to the thoughts the way there was with Edmund. It was simple: they loved each other, and they were happy together.

"Ah, yes," Edmund smiled at Talia. "And that's exactly what Rahai did. She brought Ahoshta over for dinner, and the poor fool fell for her instantly. I'm sure we can all imagine how delightful Rahai can be when she tries. He returned the favor within the week, and soon a full-fledged courtship was under-way. After a few weeks, he was completely smitten, and Rahai had the opportunity to be brought to Ahoshta's chambers. They had dinner, and he invited her up."

All were listening with wide eyes, wondering how or if Rahai had managed to fulfill her mission safely.

"And…" Peter pressed.

Edmund grinned, loving the expressions on their faces. "She accepted, and they went upstairs." He paused again for effect.

"Oh, cut the dramatics!" Susan snapped, but not harshly. "Just tell us the story already before we fall asleep."

Edmund chuckled. "And it went smoothly. She pretended to be interested in him, and asked him if he would like some wine. He did, and she went over to the table to pour him some. As she did so, she slipped a sleeping powder into the drink (one that I'd acquired for her), and Ahoshta was asleep in a minute.

"She then searched his rooms, and it was no easy task. He is a very wealthy man, and Calormene houses have a million places to hide things. On top of that, she didn't even know exactly what she was looking for. It took her nearly all night to find what she needed, but in an old vase in a hidden corner she found some papers. She scanned them, and they were exactly what we were looking for, so she shoved them into her dress. Then she went back to Ahoshta and arranged the bed and his clothes in such a way that it appeared she'd stayed a while with him, and then she left in her litter."

"Hah!" Peter half-grunted. "She's a smart one. But what exactly did the documents say?"

* * *

_Edmund had tried to sleep that night, but he couldn't; he'd been rolling around on the couch for hours, and he finally gave up and resorted to pacing around Rahai's room, glancing at the door every few seconds as if that would make Rahai come back sooner._

_Why had he been such an idiot as to allow her to put herself into such danger? He had no idea whether she could handle the pressure or not. What if Ahoshta overpowered her? What if she lost the sleeping powder somehow, or it didn't work? What if the courtesan from the brothel he had bought the powder from had been a fraud?_

_He hadn't been thinking when he agreed to let her do it; he'd been too busy comparing her to Saedra, assuming she had Saedra's bravery and quick wits as well as her ideals. He banged his fist into his palm, whispering savagely, "Rahai is not Saedra, Edmund! No matter how much you may fancy so, she's just not!"_

_At that moment, the door opened quietly, letting in a bit of early morning light, and Rahai slipped in. She held her finger up to her lips and slowly shut the door so it wouldn't make a sound, then went over to Edmund. He met her half-way, ready to melt from relief._

_"I did it, your Majesty," she whispered, dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She reached down the front of dress (Edmund quickly turned away when he understood what she was doing) and pulled out a pile of parchments._

_"These are papers of a plan of some sort, and it contains a list of names of people he's working with-I read it on the way back here. Though I can't imagine why he would keep such a list…" she said, frowning._

_"It's insurance," he quickly explained, taking the papers from her and glancing though them. "In case one betrays the others, he'll have proof against them. But what exactly are all of these people doing?" He scanned down the last sheet, which was the list of signatures of many high-ranking officials of Calormen._

_Rahai went behind the dressing partition and changed into a new dress as she spoke. "It's as you suspected-they have been colluding to steal the Narnian taxes from the Lone Islands."_

_"But why?" he asked, flipping through the papers. "The gold isn't nearly worth the risk, not for these wealthy men."_

_"They're not in it for the gold, your Majesty. Read the bottom of the second to last page."_

_"'The undersigned agree, in the Name of Tash the Inexorable, the Irresistible, that it is our duty to do what the Tisroc (may he live forever) cannot and will not and destroy the Barbarian Lands of the North by creating hostility between the Accursed Land of Narnia and its Territories of the Lone Islands. By doing, the Gods will start a war among our enemies which will weaken them and make them ripe for the picking, giving glory to the Gods, the Tisroc (may he live forever), and the land of Calormen.'"_

_He looked up and said dryly, "It's nice of them to spell it out so simply for us."_

_Rahai emerged from the partition in her nightgown, putting her hair back in a braid. Edmund had seen her in such a state so often since becoming her slave that he wasn't surprised or embarrassed._

_"Makes it easy, no?" she commented._

_"Do you trust this?" he asked. "Is it possible that it's a way to trick us? Is there any way that Ahoshta could have suspected you of probing?"_

_"Trust me, he thinks I'm in love with him-men in love are fools. And with all of the work I had to do to find those papers, there's no way he planted them for me to see."_

_"How soon before he notices these are gone?" he wondered._

_"I wouldn't worry about that," she shrugged, going over to the bed and crawling on top sleepily. "The area was very dusty. He hasn't touched these papers in a long time, and it's not likely he will again soon. What's more likely is he has it memorized and will only look for them if there's a problem."_

_He looked down at the papers again, reading through the last page more carefully. Suddenly, he froze. "Tarkheena, did you read the last page?"_

_"I only scanned it, your Majesty," she yawned. "Why?"_

_"Because your father's on it."_

* * *

"What?" Saedra exclaimed. "My uncle Cradish was on the list?"

Edmund nodded gravely.

"Wait, wait," Peter said. "Let me get this straight. There's this list-"

Edmund reached deep into his common Archenlander pants pocket and pulled out the stack of parchments, dropping them on the table. Lucy instantly grabbed them and started looking through them.

Peter continued. "-and on it's the people in Calormen who're trying to make us go to war with our own territories?"

Edmund nodded again. "And making it look like the Lone Islands weren't paying their taxes was the first way."

"There's more?" Susan blurted, horrified.

Lucy lifted up the list and read, "'If the first method fails to bring adequate results, other methods may be incorporated which include, but are not limited to, assassinations of leaders, destabilization of commerce by cutting off of trade routes…'"

"This is outrageous!" exclaimed Peridan.

"What did Rahai have to say about Cradish being on the list?" Saedra asked.

* * *

_Rahai sat up. "Wha-what?"_

_"Your father's on the list," Edmund repeated, holding out the paper to her._

_She leapt out of bed and grabbed the paper, looking at where his finger was pointing. She paled._

_"No," she gasped, "That's-that's impossible. My father wouldn't-"_

_Just then, a knock sounded on the door._

_Rahai collected herself after a second and said, "Who is it?" while Edmund hid the papers._

_"I bear a message from your grandmother, Mistress," a muffled slave's voice said through the door. "She wishes to see you. It's urgent."_

_"Thank you," Rahai called, looking tense._

_"Are you all right?" Edmund asked in a low voice._

_She took in a deep breath. "I'm fine. I'd better go see what Grandmother wants."_

_"Want me to come?" he offered._

_She almost smiled. "That'd be nice."_

_They made sure the documents were hidden safely before leaving the room and going to Sadris' bedroom. On the way over, they came across Abrastan._

_He stopped and asked Rahai urgently, "Have you seen your grandmother today?"_

_"That's where we're—I'm headed," she replied._

_The Tarkaan eyed Edmund with distaste before saying, "She's worse. I've sent a slave for your father as well."_

_"Where is he?" she asked._

_"Still at the brothels," Abrastan said with a definite curl of distaste on his lip._

_Rahai sighed, then curtseyed. "I'd better see to Grandmother, then."_

_She and Edmund quickly went to Sadris' room, and he opened the door for her. Edmund had never been in this room before, as Rahai would always see her ailing grandmother alone. The darkness was in sharp contrast to the early morning sunshine-filled hallways they had just walked through, for the curtains were closed. The room had the stench of sickness in it; Edmund almost gagged._

_"Grandmother!" Rahai said, rushing over to the bedside._

_Edmund remembered his duty as a slave and stood by the doorway, closing it behind him. He looked over at the bed as inconspicuously as he could. In it was a pale, thin woman. He'd seen her many times during Saedra and Peter's wedding celebrations, and though she hadn't been well then, she was infinitely worse-looking now. It was hard to believe that this woman had been well enough to travel to Narnia a mere seven months before. To the left of the bed stood a slave, staring off into space to give the family privacy._

_"Rahai," the woman on the bed muttered, reaching out a bony arm._

_Rahai grasped it. "How are you today, Grandmother?"_

_Sadris took in a raspy breath, and Edmund suddenly felt grateful for the ability to breath freely; the gasp sounded painful._

_"I'm fading," she rasped._

_"No-" Rahai started._

_"Silence, girl," Sadris croaked, managing to snap at her granddaughter even in her deathbed. She turned her head and moved her eyes toward the bed stand. On it sat an envelope._

_"The note," she coughed, "is for Saedra."_

_"Saedra?" Rahai repeated._

_"Yes." Sadris closed her eyes as if mustering up the strength to speak. "You must promise me to give it to her. Not by sending it, but personally." She coughed violently, spitting up blood that dribbled down her chin onto her covers._

_The slave grabbed a cloth and moved to wipe Sadris' face, but she waved him away._

_"No use," she said, coughing a little more. "Rahai, she must read it. She needs to know-"_

_"It's all right, Grandmother," Rahai said, soothing down her grey locks. She turned to the other slave and said, "Go fetch Abrastan. Now!"_

_The slave ran out._

_"No, it's not all right! I'm-cough-dying, can't you see?" Fear filled Sadris' eyes. "It's my time…my time to join my dear Lalevis…Tell Saedra…no one else must see it…but her…give…"_

_Sadris' voice died as the life drained from her body. Only Rahai's silent tears could be heard in the silent room. Edmund desperately wanted to comfort Rahai, but he was afraid Abrastan might walk in at any moment._

_"Mistress?" he said hesitantly._

_Rahai looked up at him, her eyes red. "She was all I had. My only ally."_

_He was filled with pity at the thought that the waspy woman who was known for snapping at Rahai was her only ally._

_Rahai closed her eyes and pursed her lips. "What am I going to do now? Especially with Father now-"_

_Abrastan ran in breathlessly and stopped short._

_"I missed her," he surmised, sounding neither upset nor uncaring; it was simply a statement of fact. As a former military man, he'd obviously come to accept death as a normal part of life._

_He went over to Rahai and put his hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right?"_

_"I'll be fine," Rahai sniffed, wiping her nose._

_Abrastan noticed the envelope and reached for it, but Rahai said quickly, "That's for Saedra!"_

_He pulled back his hand and furrowed his brow. "Saedra?"_

_She nodded. "Only Saedra can read it."_

_Abrastan had the most curious expression on his face, staring blankly. Then his eyes darted toward the envelope with great hunger; he obviously wanted very much to reach the contents._

* * *

"And—" Edmund reached into his pocket again, pulling out an off-white envelope that had been sealed with black wax. "Here it is."

He held it out to Saedra, and she took it from him slowly. She looked down at it curiously, wanting to open it, and yet not wanting to open it. What could Sadris have to tell her that was so important, something she hadn't told her before?

"Then what happened?" Peter asked, shifting slowly so as not to awake Talia, who'd fallen fast asleep against him.

Saedra had the impression that he was asking so that she wouldn't be pressured to open it at that moment with everyone around, and she appreciated it. If it was important, she could read it while she was alone.

"Cradish eventually returned, and he mourned the minimal amount required of a son," continued Edmund. "Sadris' funeral preparations kept the household busy, myself included. I wasn't sure if I had enough of a case to go on, what with only a handful of documents to implicate Ahoshta and Cradish, but at the funeral service I overheard Cradish and a couple of other Tarkaans on the list speaking, and I managed to hear enough to know that they were indeed in on the plot.

"After speaking with Rahai, it was determined that I should head back north with my evidence. Since she lives on the north side of the river and not on the island of Tashbaan itself, it was a simple matter of her escorting me off of the property, sneaking a horse and provisions for me, and I was off. I promised her that we would return quickly-and we must, for she _has _risked much for us and could be caught for any reason at any time-and I left Calormen.

"I travelled along the eastern coast of the desert, crossed the Winding Arrow River at its mouth (for it's very shallow at this time of year, as Saedra knows), and stayed at Harden for a few days. My visit there confirmed that the taxes had not travelled through Archenland, and that my instincts were correct. After leaving there, I headed back here, and here I am!"

"Must have been horrible travelling," Lucy said. "It's very snowy outside."

"Ah, but the desire to be home helped me to bear it," Edmund smiled at her.

Lucy grinned reluctantly. "And I _am _glad you're here. It wouldn't be Christmas without you."

"Why didn't Rahai just come with you?" Peridan asked. "Considering the danger back there…"

"We talked about that a lot," Edmund replied, "And we decided that it would be better for all concerned if she acted like nothing happened. She decided to pretend that I'd run away and she still loved Ahoshta. All I can hope is that she isn't married to him by the time we sort this out!"

"What's that look about, Sae?" Susan asked, looking at her sister-in-law with concern.

"It's just-I had no idea that Sadris was so sick." Saedra shook her head. "I should have been there. I mean, I _am _family."

"Rahai wrote you several times," Edmund said. "And as soon as I told her you were in Harden, she wrote there as well."

"I'd probably left Harden by that time," Saedra said, "but I should have gotten the letters she sent here when I came up."

She looked at Peter, and he shrugged.

"We'd better get to bed," Peter yawned. "We can talk about this tomorrow. Most of the partiers have cleared out, and Tal's making my arm numb."

The group chuckled and stretched, and Peter picked up Talia. The group gave hugs all around, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, and they all went off to their rooms. Saedra followed Peter to Talia's room, where he put her to bed and tucked her in, and they both headed back to their chambers.

Peter put his arm around her waist, pulling her close as they walked. "It's been quite a night, hasn't it?"

Saedra smiled, looping her arm around his back. "Just as we were really worried about Ed, he shows up. Providential."

Peter smiled and pushed open the door to their room. They went in, and as they changed out of their party clothes, Saedra said, "I still don't get how Rahai's letters never reached me here at Cair Paravel! It's quite disconcerting that someone may be monitoring my mail."

She climbed on to the bed, holding Sadris' note. Peter didn't reply, and she wondered if he was listening.

"Peter?" she prodded.

He still didn't look at her. He went over to his wardrobe, reached inside, and pulled out a small bundle of what looked like paper. Saedra's stomach clenched when she saw what he carried, but didn't quite believe her eyes. He went over to her and held it out to her, and there was no doubt that these were the letters in question. Rahai's handwriting was unmistakable.

Saedra was utterly shocked: Peter had hidden Saedra's own letters from her. She swallowed and took in a shaky breath.

"Why?" she ask calmly, trying to stay rational.

He looked at her with a guilty expression. "I didn't want you to leave again."

"What do you mean?"

"I accidentally opened one, because the pages put your correspondence in with mine. I saw what it said, that Rahai wanted you to go down," he swallowed, "and-I didn't want you to go. I mean, Sadris has been unwell for ages, and the letter I saw didn't seem any different-I didn't know she was dying-I only saw the first one by accident-"

Saedra shook her head dumbly, unable to vocalize her shock.

Peter continued, climbing up on the bed next to her and taking her hand. "When you came up and hadn't heard from Rahai, I saw it as a sign from Aslan of sorts…and especially since things have been going so well for us, I thought it would be best for us if you didn't leave." His eyes begged her to understand.

"_Best _for us?" she asked shrilly, pulling her hand away. "Best that you monitor what I read and what I do?"

"Sae," he said pleadingly, "I know it was wrong-it was a horrible thing to do, I see now. But look how good it was for us, these months we've had. We wouldn't be this close if you'd gone down."

"Close?" she said, her cheeks starting to turn red. "You call this close? You acting the whole time like we were equals, that I was free to come and go as I liked, that this was a mutual decision to move our relationship forward?"

"It was, you are free-"

"_Not if you're stopping me from being in contact with my family!" _she screeched, hopping off the bed as if it was a hot oven.

Peter looked like he'd been slapped, staring at her with red blotches on his cheeks, his mouth hanging open. Whatever reaction he had expected, this certainly wasn't it.

Saedra was shaking with fury. She was furious at him for keeping the information from her, but also furious that he felt like he'd been doing the right thing. She was furious that he looked so hurt, when it was _she _who had the right to be hurt, not him! And most of all, she was furious that she had allowed herself to fall for him-_again-_when she'd _known_ better.

"I—I can't talk about this now," Saedra said, shaking her head with her eyes closed. "I-no, no. I can't do this now." She started to walk to the door.

"Sae," Peter implored, reaching out to her. "Please, let's not go back there."

She turned around. "I didn't ask for this, Peter. You did. And if you really love me like you think and say you do, you'll let me do this my way. I need to think about this." She went over to the door and opened it. "Good night," she said sadly and tiredly, before shutting it softly behind her.

She couldn't talk to Peter, she couldn't talk to anyone-except maybe…Yes. There was one person she could confide in. Sadris' letter gripped tightly in her hand, she stalked away from her bedroom.

_I only hope he's still awake, _she thought, going through halls that were just beginning to fill with Christmas morning's light.


	33. Saedra's Peculiar Affliction

**Saedra's Peculiar Affliction**

* * *

After only a minute of walking, Saedra thought better of bothering Edmund; instead of disturbing his first night at Cair Paravel in half a year, she headed up, up, up. She climbed stairs as if she was racing the rising sun to see who could get higher. At last, completely out of breath and with a blast of freezing air to welcome her, she came upon the roof that connected the bases of the four highest turrets of the castle, one for each direction of the compass. The cold air gave her a bit more energy, as it was refreshingly cold and clean.

She walked past the doorways to the southern and western towers, headed for the eastern tower. She entered that and climbed it, higher and higher. She was in an exhausted daze, too tired to be mad at Peter for his secrecy, but needing to be away from him and feeling that the higher she went, the safer she was. As far as she knew, no one had any reason to be up here.

At the top of the tower was a round room with a balcony all the way around it. It had a door in the back and front of the room, one leading to the stairs and the other to the balcony. She'd never been up this high in Cair Paravel, and she looked around with mild interest. There were two cots, a chamber pot, some weapons hanging on the walls, and trunks beneath them. There were small stained-glass windows all the way around letting light in.

_This must be for lookouts in times of war, _she figured. They had similar towers at Harden Castle, though they weren't nearly as high as this one.

She strode across the room and through the other door, and the brightness of the sun blinded her. She put her hands up to block the sun so her eyes could adjust from the darkness of the tower to the bright outdoors.

When her eyes adjusted, she had a wonderful view of the ocean and the eastern part of Cair Paravel. The snow-covered land contrasted sharply with the dark blue ocean and its white-caps. She inhaled the cold air, allowing it to fill her and clear her mind.

She was quite proud of the way she'd handled Peter; she'd been angry but rational, and she hadn't tried to insult him. She'd simply expressed her displeasure and left before things could get ugly.

She still couldn't understand what Peter had been thinking, keeping those letters from her.

_No, I do understand, _she thought. _He explained it perfectly. It's just infuriating that he did it with such good intentions, as idiotic as he was. He didn't know that Grandmother would actually _die. _All he knew from the letter he read was that Rahai wanted me to visit and that Grandmother was sick, and she was sick even when she came up for our wedding. _

The cold of the outdoors became too much for her, and she went back into the tower. She closed the door behind her and studied the cots. The thought of climbing all the way down to her bedroom after staying up all night didn't seem appealing, neither did the image of climbing into bed next to the man she was still angry with, so she decided then and there to stay. She searched through the trunks and found some blankets, then settled down on the not-so-comfortable cots and fell asleep instantly.

* * *

"Saedra!"

Saedra jerked upright, her eyes still trying to stay closed. She blinked furiously and looked around. Where was she?

She looked around to find that she was still up in the tower under layers of rough blankets, and the sky through the windows had darkened already. Edmund stood in front of her, looking very surprised.

"What on earth are you doing up here?" he asked.

Saedra grunted and pushed the blankets back, feeling cold without their warmth. "Trying to get some sleep."

"In this cold? Are you crazy?"

"The blankets are surprisingly warm," she replied, feeling the cold already invade her skin.

"We've been looking all over for you!" he said. "Peter was worried sick that you'd done something rash like going back to Harden."

"Hm, I wish I'd thought of that," she said with a hint of grumpiness. She wished she was still asleep.

"So what'd he do now?" Edmund said with a slightly amused expression.

"Pardon me?"

"He's acting extremely guilty and panicked that you'll never look at him again. What'd he do? I mean, if it's not my place…"

"He's been intercepting my mail."

Edmund raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything.

Did he not understand the seriousness of Peter's crime? She'd been hoping for a little more of a reaction. "The letters from _Rahai_ that you were talking about last night-or this morning-or whatever."

"I figured as much."

"Wha-what?"

"It's hard to explain, but…it just seemed like something he'd do…I mean, I can see how much he cares about you, and how far you've come…I can't deny that I know what you two were up to in the southern passage…"

Saedra felt embarrassed at the last part. "Er, yeah."

"And had you gone down to Tashbaan, this closeness wouldn't have happened, am I right?"

"Well, maybe not so soon, but…"

"It's not just that. It's the timing of the thing."

"What does that mean?"

"There were no…er…_distractions_." He was blushing.

Realization slowly dawned on her. "You think he knows about us-I mean, how we feel-felt…?"

Edmund was as red as she felt, but his voice was level. "No, no, but the timing was perfect, don't you think?"

"I don't understand what you're saying. How would Peter know about the timing?"

"He wouldn't. Aslan would. Maybe he used Peter's pig-headed selfishness to bring you two closer."

She stared at him. "You're crazy."

He grinned. "Not as crazy as someone who holds conversations while shivering in freezing temperatures."

"What are _you _doing up here?"

"I come up here all the time."

"I didn't know that!" she said, suddenly interested.

He looked sheepish. "That was the…um…idea."

"Oh-" Saedra said, pausing. "Was the idea that everyone not know or especially me?"

He looked sideways at her. "Both."

"Ah."

Silence followed. Edmund looked embarrassed, and Saedra felt like she'd intruded on his little sanctuary away from her.

Edmund spoke. "I used to come up here a lot when…you know…the wedding and everything was going on."

"Ah."

More silence.

"If it makes you feel better, I won't come up here again," Saedra said, standing up. "Though it is a nice little hideaway."

Pause.

"Well, should we be getting down?" she asked, going over to the door and looking back at him expectantly. "If people are worried, we shouldn't keep them waiting any longer."

* * *

No one, not Peter, Susan, Lucy, nor Peridan said anything when Edmund and Saedra returned. It was as if there was a silent pact of silence for Talia's sake, as she seemed to be the only person that hadn't been made aware that Peter had been panicking that Saedra had fled Cair Paravel. The tension between Saedra and Peter was ignored as the group convened with Peter's advisors to address the situation that Edmund had brought to their attention, namely the conspiracy within the government of Calormen to sabotage Narnia's power.

After long debate that lasted long into the night and would be tweaked over the course of the weeks, the group developed a strategy to deal with the threat, however small it may seem, quickly and decisively. Most of the group agreed when Saedra pointed out that while the Tisroc may not have been directly involved in the conspiracy, it was highly unlikely that he was unaware of it (similarly to how he had denied involvement on the raids in her province when she was a girl). That turned the conversation in the direction of not only stopping the conspiracy, but also of how to make a point to the Tisroc.

In the end, it was finally decided that Peter, Edmund, and Lucy would lead the naval fleet down to Tashbaan to confront the Tisroc as soon as weather permitted. It would be a grand display of power, and the Tisroc would be forced to meet with them with the fear that the Narnians may invade Tashbaan. There Peter would confront the Tisroc, hopefully putting an end to the feeble-though potentially successful-attempts to undermine Narnia.

It was also decided that the navy needed to be supplemented. New ships were going to be built, and the old ones would be refurbished in order to appear most impressive. The work would go on during the winter months so that the Kings and Queen could leave as soon as possible.

All of this meant that Susan and Peridan's wedding plans were once again put on hold because of the reallocation of resources, but Susan covered up her deep disappointment with a brave, but watery, smile.

After the initial meeting was ended long past midnight, Saedra slipped out of the room as quickly as she could. She didn't want to see Peter; she didn't feel ready to have a reasonable conversation with him. During the conference he had been all business, but at odd moments she would catch him watching her with eyes that begged her to forgive him. At other times she would lock eyes with Edmund, whose shadowed looks she couldn't decipher across the room.

She maneuvered her way to the library tower (knowing that at this hour there'd be no one around) with one thought in mind: she had to read Sadris' note. She sat herself at the base of the winding staircase that wound inside the tower of books and broke the seal. Inside the envelope was a small, crudely-written note written by a shaky hand. A tiny key slipped out of the note as she unfolded it and fell to the floor with a small _clink_. She picked up the key and read the note.

_O Saedra, Daughter of my Beloved Lalevis:_

_It is a common proverb that those who carry secrets to their graves will be tormented by them for eternity. As I lay here dying, there is but one secret that I hold within my breast that would have the power to do so, and before the gods carry me away to the afterlife I would like to avoid the misery of such a torment by relating to you what you should have known a long time ago. _

_With irony I think of how such knowledge would have drastically changed your life, O daughter of my daughter. You would not have been a raised in the Barbarian North but would have been a great Tarkheena, known for your beauty and wit. (Though I criticized you for your looks, I must confess that you have the good looks of both of your parents in you. It's within my nature to be critical, something I never mastered). _

_The information I have for you cannot be written here, for as well-intentioned as Rahai is, she isn't the smartest of girls. There is a great chance this will be intercepted, and thus all I have to give you is this: the key, and the reminder of what Lalevis did best. _

_What you do with such knowledge is your burden. _

Saedra lowered the unsigned letter and looked around the chamber. She sat in silence for minutes, glancing back down at the letter at moments, other times her eyes darting about the room as she thought.

She stood up and strode out of the library. She stalked through the dark castle, the light from the torches illuminating her way with flickering light. She went straight to her and Peter's bedroom and threw open the door.

The lights were off, but Peter was lying in bed awake, the back if his head resting on his interlocked palms. He jerked upright in surprise as she strode over to him, threw the note down on his lap, and declared, "I'm going to Tashbaan with you."

Peter looked from her to the note, then took the letter and swung out of bed. He turned on an oil lamp and leaned into it to read the letter while Saedra stood above him with her arms crossed.

After finishing, he looked up at her and stood upright. He seemed hesitant to say what was on his mind. He opened and closed his mouth several times, then licked his lips.

Saedra spoke. "Before you say no, Peter, I want to make it clear that you owe this to me. Were it not for your intrusion into my privacy, I would have been able to go down to Tashbaan and hear this from Sadris myself. As it is, it seems that there is some information that she felt important enough to share with me just before she died. I need to find out what it is."

"Sae, it's dangerous. We aren't going on a pleasure trip. There is a chance that fighting could break out."

"It's either I go with you with the whole Narnian Navy to protect me or I go down myself on horseback."

Peter's eyes bulged, and he studied her determined face. "What about Tal? Are you prepared to leave her for a whole season again?"

"As prepared as you appear to be," she said callously, and he winced. "Actually, I was thinking that she could come with. It'd be good experience for her."

"But it's too dangerous, Sae. I can't stop _you_, but it's better that she be here than in harm's way."

"It could be said that she's safer with the Navy than unprotected here."

Peter was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Have it your way," he said in a quiet voice. He gave her the note, then walked past her and climbed into bed again.

Saedra watched him curiously. "Peter."

He looked at her, his blue eyes dark and strained.

She had been intending to ask him what was wrong, then she realized that was a stupid thing to ask. Narnia was about to confront the largest country on earth; there was no reason for the tired King to be happy. What he needed was rest-and comfort. And up 'til now she hadn't been any help.

She turned off the lamp and walked forward, leaned over him, cupped his face in her hands, and lightly kissed him. She climbed over her surprised husband and settled under the covers next to him, leaning up against him.

It was amazing how the old anger seemed trivial at this moment. Peter had more important things going on in his life than her, and he needed support.

She couldn't see his relieved smile in the dark, but she could feel it in the way he wrapped his arms around her.

* * *

"Per and I were supposed to be married by now!" lamented Susan as she and Saedra followed Talia through the mainland forest near Cair Paravel. Talia was joking with some Nyads a distance off, and Saedra and Susan were strolling arm and arm, bundled warmly against the chilly winter wind.

Susan had _not_ been happy with the decision to postpone her wedding even longer in order to focus on the confrontation ahead. She had argued that going on with the wedding would distract from any suspicion when the Narnian Navy strengthened itself. She pointed out that, however hard the Navy worked to be secretive, word was bound to spread about what they were doing. The others hadn't disagreed with her point (and Saedra had silently sympathized with her), but they said that the strain on their resources by building during the winter months would be hard enough without adding the wedding plans.

"The nerve of Peter to hint that I could have a small wedding right away! He knows as much as anyone how much I want to have a grand, memorable wedding," Susan fumed.

Saedra remained silent and allowed Susan to vent her feelings.

"I mean," the Queen continued, "Per and I have waited this long to make sure the wedding would be perfect, so of course we're going to wait a few months more. But it's just so hard always being pushed aside like this…like I'm not allowed to live the life I like just because I'm a Queen."

"What other life would you prefer?" Saedra smiled.

Susan paused, tilting her head to one side. She turned to Saedra with an abashed grin on her beautiful face. "I suppose you've caught me."

They were strolling past the dwellings of some Dwarf families, and the smell of food wafted into their noses.

"Mmm, doesn't that sausage smell divine?" Susan said. "It must be lunchtime."

Saedra was about to agree when suddenly a wave of nausea overcame her. She clapped her hand to her mouth and looked about frantically to find a non-speaking tree. Spotting one (for anyone how has lived any amount of time in Narnia can tell the difference between Trees and trees), she raced over and vomited her breakfast against the trunk, staining the white snow.

"Saedra?" Susan said, rushing after her. "Are you okay?"

Saedra stood up, wiping her mouth. Perhaps she did so too fast, for she lost her bearings and stumbled backwards.

Fortunately, Susan caught her, hollering, "Talia! Quick! Saedra's ill!"

Talia ran over, the Nymphs in tow, and Saedra protested in garbled language, "Na, na…I'm f-f-fine." She concluded her protests by vomiting spectacularly.

Susan's nose was wrinkled with the foul smell as she supported her sister-in-law. "Let's get her up to the palace."

"Allow us, your Majesty!" the Nymphs said eagerly, jumping in to support Saedra.

Susan didn't argue, and she and Talia led them back to the palace.

Half-way back, however, Saedra protested again, this time clearly: "I'm fine, really. I can walk on my own. I feel much better."

She did feel much better. As fast as the spell had come over her, it was gone.

Susan didn't believe her. "Don't listen to her. We need to get her up to her chambers as fast as possible."

Before Saedra knew it, she was tucked into bed, thanking the Nymphs, and trying to assure a hovering Peter that she was fine.

"I want you to stay in bed for the rest of the day," Peter ordered, rubbing her hand.

Despite her protests, she did as he ordered. She rested, sleeping soundly all day. She woke up in the middle of the night to see Peter sleeping soundly next to her and a warm fire in the fireplace. She got up for an hour to read a book, then started feeling drowsy again, and slept the rest of the night away.

The next day, she felt completely well. She accompanied Peter to breakfast, feeling very aware of aromas (perhaps because she was afraid that another smell would trigger sickness). She made it all the way down to the entrance hall, but as soon as the smell of eggs and bacon met her nose-she became sick again.

Back in her room, Peter ordered another day's rest, which she agreed to with an amused smile. The poor man had never seen her this sick before, and he looked positively green. It was rather adorable.

After three days in a row of vomiting triggered by smells, the nurse Remanda started to be puzzled.

"Could I have some peculiar disease that hasn't been recorded?" Saedra asked the Dwarf when they were alone.

"Well the symptoms are extremely common, your Highness, but it's unusual that you'd feel fine one moment and ill the next," she said. "I'm going to do some reading…"

Two days after that (in which Saedra had had varying levels of illness continue), Remanda came into her bedroom smiling.

"I have the answer, Princess!" she squeaked, sounding more like a Mouse than a Dwarf in her excitement.

Saedra sat up eagerly. "What is it? And why in the world are you smiling? I'm supposed to be dying here, at least according to my husband!"

Remanda chuckled and hauled a thick medical book onto the bed. She flipped through the pages past _How to Safely Polish Your Teeth: A Guide for Beavers_ and _Tell-Tale Signs Your Child Has Rabies_ and pointed to one that read: _Symptommes of Pregnancie in Human Females_.

Saedra looked up at Remanda. "You jest. I suppose there must be a _Symptommes of Pregnancie in Human Males _as well."

"Read, your Highness."

**_Symptommes of Pregnancie in Human Females_**

_by Deerileek the Mouse, Heade Physician to Queen Swanwhite, and Rymon the Centaur, Former Heade of Healthe at Cair Paravelle_

"Isn't this a bit outdated?" Saedra said cynically. "This dates back to Swanwhite!"

"There were more humans in Narnia back then, your Highness, so they had more experience, and I hardly think child-bearing has changed at all since then."

Saedra scanned the article. They covered symptoms from dizziness to cravings all the way to the symptoms she'd been experiencing.

"It's all coincidental," Saedra said when she had thoroughly examined the article. "It's impossible…I'm not…I can't be…"

"Whatever your Highness says," Remanda smirked knowingly.

* * *

Remanda was right. It took over a month for Saedra to acknowledge it, but she was indeed with child.

When she finally admitted it to the Dwarf, it was shocking to hear the words come out of her mouth. Having her own biological child hadn't even entered her mind when she'd started sleeping with Peter; the subject hadn't come up since she'd refused to have a child before they were married.

Truth was, it scared her. Her own mother had died from giving birth to her, and there were countless widowers in Anvard left with children. Was she mere months from dying? The thought was sobering and scary.

"You're completely healthy, your Highness," Remanda assured her. "Just don't over-exert yourself, and all should be fine."

"When-when will it…he…she…whoever—be born?" she asked, feeling completely awkward at this type of conversation.

"From what you've told me, I'd say you have about seven months, just over. The beginning of fall you'll have a little Prince or Princess."

The beginning of fall. That was still plenty of time to go to Tashbaan…

"And when are you going to tell the High King?" Remanda asked eagerly.

Saedra had already made up her mind. If Peter knew now, there was no question he would ban her from stepping one foot out of the castle. If she told him a month later while they were on the way down to Tashbaan, he couldn't do anything about it, right?

"Not yet. I'm not telling him yet," Saedra said firmly.

"Princess?" the nurse asked confusedly. "Why…?"

"He can't know. No one can know. I forbid you from telling anyone. When the High King knows, I will be the one to tell him, and no one else."

It was a gamble whether Remanda could hold her tongue for a whole month while Saedra hid the symptoms…It was a risk, but nothing was keeping Saedra from finding out Sadris' secret. Not even a baby.


	34. A Wound Reopened

**A Wound Reopened **

* * *

Saedra sat silently on a wooden box, watching Talia hike up her skirts and carefully hop on one foot down the deck of the _Splendor Hyaline. _Peter was watching his step-daughter carefully, throwing his head back and laughing when Talia stopped and made some inaudible remark to him and Lucy. They were playing Hopscotch, a game Lucy was teaching them to keep Talia occupied during the trip, under the bright sunshine as the ship sailed south.

Saedra smiled at the sight of the three of them so happy. Peter and Talia had become so close over the winter months, and any doubts about whether Talia should have come along on the trip were easily assuaged by the sight in front of her. The shy, subservient slave Saedra had met in Tashbaan had melted away into a confident twelve-year-old who was growing like a weed. She was still thin and perhaps not as developed as the other girls her age in Anvard, but she was sweet and funny, and smart as a whip-which had posed a problem for a pregnant Saedra hoping to conceal her secret.

Of all the people Saedra had to hide the truth from, Talia was the hardest. After all, Saedra was not only Talia's teacher since Gilda was back in Harden acting as Regent, but she also trained Talia with physical lessons as well, teaching her all she knew about sword-fighting and horse-riding. For though the memories of being in a helpless situation in the saloon in Narrowhaven no longer tormented her in the way they used to, Saedra never forgot how important it was that Talia know how to defend herself in any situation.

It was the sword lessons that posed the problem for Saedra. Remanda had told her that, according to _Symptommes of Pregnancie in Human Females, _she wouldn't start to show until she was in Tashbaan. But to Saedra's dismay, a little bump had started to form soon after her vomiting ended, and the bump had steadily grown until Saedra had to wear empire-waist dresses with strategic frills to hide it. (Peter had been so busy with planning for the confrontation with the Tisroc that he hadn't noticed her bump, collapsing into bed late each night.) Even though Saedra could still easily move freely, it was likely that the movements would allow her dress to betray her new shape, prompting questions she didn't care to answer. Thus, Saedra had gradually moved their focus to book-reading, assigning Talia books from the library, and having Susan and Lucy train Talia so that she "could get a more well-rounded education in fighting."

"Didn't feel like playing?" a low voice sounded to Saedra's left, making her jump.

It was Edmund.

"Oh, no," she replied, smiling and pushing her hair back from her face. "It's more fun to just watch."

"Mm..."

He followed her gaze and watched as the High King of Narnia held his crown on his head as he hopped around like a boy.

Suddenly Edmund said, "Walk with me."

She blinked and stood up. "Okay!"

They walked along the railing of the ship for a moment, the breeze billowing Saedra's skirt and hair.

"So...care to tell me what you've been up to?" Edmund asked casually.

Confused, Saedra said, "Well, I've been trying to get in as much studying with Talia as we could before we left-"

"No, no, no. What you're really up to," he said shaking his head.

She stopped walking. "What do you mean?"

"You're hiding something, Sae, and I want to know what it is. You always get this look when you're scheming something, and you've had that look for a month now. Does it have to do with Sadris? Because if it is, it's better that we know so we can help you."

"We?"

"Peter, Lu, and I."

"Are you asking on behalf of them as well, or is this just your idea that I'm hiding something?"

"Just me. They have nothing to do with this."

She looked up at Edmund for a moment, thinking quickly. Then she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the cabin, shutting the door behind them. When she turned to face him, he had a half-grin on his face, as if he'd known she would give in and tell him.

"Oh, don't give me that look!" she laughed, pulling back the curtains over the window to let some light into the dark room. "I'm not scheming anything. I just..."

Her smiled faded into wistful expression as her hand automatically moved to her abdomen, a habit she'd developed when she was alone.

Edmund watched her silently, taking in her sudden mood change. His eyes trailed down to her hand, which was cradling a slight bump. With fabric pulled back by her hand, there was no mistaking what rested underneath. Edmund's face paled; he walked over to the window slowly, swallowing.

She turned and faced him, and she knew by the look on his face that she didn't need to speak. Yet she couldn't bear the stunned silence, so she choked, "Ed-"

He held up his hand almost violently, cutting her off. He seemed to be trying to control his breathing, and his lips were a thin line. "Why did you come on this trip?"

"Y-you're mad at me because I came on the trip?"

He merely waited for her answer, staring into her eyes.

Somehow, she didn't think that was the reason he was upset. "Edmund, he's my husband-" she implored.

"Why did you come?" he repeated, growling.

"What was I supposed to do, Ed? Stay home and let the chance to find out Sadris' secret pass me by? You know me better than that!"

"What of the danger? It was one thing bringing Talia around, Aslan knows she can defend herself if worse comes to worst, but bringing a child into this and endangering _your _health-"

Tears burned in the corner of Saedra's eyes. She'd fought with Peter, Susan, and Lucy before, but _Edmund _berating her so viciously...looking so betrayed...

She swallowed and said, "We'll be back in Narnia _long _before the child is born, Edmund, so stop pretending that you're so furious that I came on the trip!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" he sneered, turning away from her as if she was too foul to be looked at.

Saedra's stomach clenched. "Ed, stop-" she begged. "Can't we just be...mature...about this. Surely you knew that Peter and I-"

"What you and _Peter _do is none of my business!" he snapped, his nostrils flaring.

"Then why are you so damned angry?" she demanded, furiously wiping at a tear that had trailed onto her face. She hated herself for becoming so emotional, hated herself for hurting Edmund so much.

"I'm just angry you're putting the heir to the Narnian throne—my nephew or niece—in jeopardy! What you're implying is—simply preposterous. I couldn't care less—I mean, there's no way we—so the assumption that-" he sputtered, red in the face.

"Ed," Saedra whispered, going to him and resting her hand on his arm.

He jerked the hand away. "I'm marrying Rahai, Saedra. I'm marrying Rahai."

Saedra felt like she'd been punched. "_What_? How-did you ask her?"

"I intend to as soon as the confrontation is over," he said, not meeting her eyes.

"_Ed,_" she sobbed. "Ed, look at me."

He didn't-or couldn't. "I'm marrying Rahai. So all of this business about jealousy, or whatever dramatic nonsense you're saying, is irrelevant."

He headed to the door.

"I never said you were jealous-" she started, but the door slammed behind him.

* * *

Saedra felt sick for the rest of the day. A clenching in her stomach that had nothing to do with the physical presence of the baby ate away at her insides. She had had no _idea _that Edmund would take it so hard. Hadn't they been down this road countless times? Could they never escape the curse upon them? Could they never outgrow the longing that always simmered silently in the background? It had seemed to go away when they were separated, but it had reappeared in full force with her pregnancy-for him, and thus for her.

She stayed inside for the rest of the day, and but it wasn't until dinner that she was missed. Peter peeked into their bedroom to find her lying on her back, fingers interlocked over her stomach.

"Sae, we're about to eat."

She inclined her head and merely studied him: his happy tan face, messy long blonde hair, scruffy face, his twinkling eyes...

_Why isn't that enough for you, Saedra? _she asked herself. _The perfect man is right before you, and still care so much for his moody, less handsome younger brother? _She knew her assessment of Edmund was hardly fair, but she wasn't feeling generous towards him at the moment.

He walked over to her. "You all right?"

She gave a tiny smile. "Give me your hands."

He obliged, and she placed them on the sides of her stomach, watching his face the whole time. As she moved his hands over the small lump, his face became a mixture of emotions, the foremost of which was disbelief.

He cleared his throat. "Ah...we're...we're..."

"Having a baby, yes," she smiled, feeling suddenly nervous about his reaction. What would he say? Did he _want_ to be a father so soon? They'd never talked about it. Would he yell at her about coming to Tashbaan like Edmund did?

Her fears were banished when his face broke out into a huge grin, he yelled with joy, and bent over threw his arms around her, kissing her all over her face.

Saedra grinned, hugging and kissing him back. "Oh, do let me breathe!" she laughed, weak with relief. He hadn't been angry.

He held his face an inch from hers. "When will he-or she-be born?"

"When the leaves start to fall," she replied.

He swooped in and kissed her again.

* * *

They didn't make the announcement that night, nor for the rest of the trip down. They didn't know the proper decorum for releasing such news to the world, but they decided to minimize the risk to Saedra by keeping the news from everyone but their family. That meant telling only Talia, Edmund, and Lucy.

Talia was first, and she squealed with delight when she found out, doing a little dance around the room. After being warned not to tell anyone, she plied her parents with questions and details, such as, "When will the baby be born?" and, "Can I teach it to shoot when it's old enough?"

Saedra was afraid that Edmund would give away that she'd told him the news before Peter, but he was politely congratulatory while Lucy went crazy. They held a private little party in the cabin, drinking wine and having snacks. Edmund even brought himself to be polite to Saedra, though only once did their eyes meet in a look that revealed to her that he was still hurt.

For the rest of the trip, Saedra was treated like the Princess she was, expected to rest all the time and given absurd amounts of food. She went along with it because she saw how excited her family was, but got tired of doing nothing all day (though of course there is little to do aboard a ship if you're a passenger). She felt like she was going to explode from all the eating, so she was relieved when they reached Tashbaan, though she knew Peter, Edmund, and Lucy had a big task in front of them.

Determined not to be left out of the excitement, Saedra made it quite clear to her concerned husband that she was not an infant and that, unless he locked her in the cabin, she wouldn't stay indoors all day. He looked like he had half a mind to do as she said and lock her away, but then he softened and said she could observe his meeting with the Tisroc.

As planned back in Narnia, a pre-written letter was delivered to the Tisroc as soon as the fleet sailed magnificently into Tashbaan. The letter requested that the Tisroc himself come and meet with them aboard the _Splendor_ _Hyaline_ the next day, and also requested the presence of all of the nobles implicated in the documents that Rahai had secured for Edmund. It was rather bold-and potentially dangerous-to in essence demand that the Tisroc himself leave the safety of the city, but they'd decided it was best to show that Narnia wasn't afraid of Calormen. They guaranteed the Tisroc's safe passage and promised that he may bring a reasonable amount of personal guards with him.

Late that night, Edmund knocked on Peter and Saedra's door with a surprise.

"Rahai?" Saedra squealed when she saw her cousin standing next to Edmund, looking very happy.

"Wha-how did she get here?" Peter asked Edmund while the women embraced.

"I used my special sneaking skills and got her out," Edmund said, looking very pleased with himself. "Our watch didn't even see me leave."

"Saedra..." Rahai said, eyes wide when she pulled back. "You're..."

"Pregnant, yes," Saedra beamed.

Rahai shrieked with delight, squeezing Saedra tight. She plied Saedra with questions about when she was due, and when she was satisfied, Peter intervened.

"Why don't we go into the sitting room?" Peter asked.

"So Ahoshta didn't find out about what you did-or did he?" Saedra asked after they settled themselves.

She was purposefully ignoring how Edmund had plopped himself down next to Rahai and was massaging her hand.

"Oh, no, he sure didn't!" Rahai laughed in her melodic, accented voice. "In fact, he's under the impression that we're betrothed."

"Poor, poor man!" Saedra exclaimed over all the laughter.

"Yes, it was quite a pain to keep the pretenses up, but I knew how important it was that he never question my devotion," Rahai smiled at Edmund.

Edmund smiled back, squeezing her hand.

"What's all this, Ed?" Peter asked suspiciously, looking from him to Rahai.

Edmund looked at his older brother and said triumphantly, "Rahai has agreed to marry me."

Peter's eyebrows shot up in surprise, while Saedra plastered a congratulatory smile on her face and hugged her cousin yet again.

"Yes, though it wasn't the most romantic setting..." Edmund grinned, looking down at Rahai.

"Oh, stop!" she protested, grey eyes sparkling with delight and affection. "It was memorable, that's all that matters."

"Care to clue us in?" Peter asked, laughing.

Saedra wasn't sure she wanted to hear all about Edmund's proposal, but looked as eager and as care free as she could.

"Well, I almost scared poor Rahai to death when I climbed in through her window-" Edmund started.

"-I did scream rather loudly when I saw him creeping around in the dark-" Rahai giggled.

"-and so I assured her quickly who I was and that I came to bring her back to my ship-"

"-but I didn't quite understand why he needed me there, since my testimony against Ahoshta wouldn't count because I'm a woman-"

"-and then I had to spell it out to her that it was because I wanted to marry her-"

"-and of course I was shocked, but very surprised, and asked if he was sure-"

"-and I was, and asked her if that was okay with her-"

"-and I said yes-"

"-and so we came back here," Edmund concluded, exhaling.

"How did you get to land and back?" Peter asked.

"Rowboat," Edmund said simply. "We _must _tell our watch to be more careful. They were most surprised when Rahai and I came climbing over the side."

The four of them spent the rest of the night talking, until Saedra started to nod off from tiredness. The next day, Lucy and Talia heard the good news about Edmund and Rahai, and were just doing a little dance when the Tisroc's boats came into view. There were five of them, small but ornately decorated and gleaming in the sunlight.

"They're early," Lucy observed.

"Probably trying to use whatever intimidation tactics they can," Edmund said, and turned to the steward. "Signal to the other ships that the Tisroc's here, just in case they haven't noticed. We'll commence the meeting early."

The steward did so, and soon a fat plank joined the _Splendor Hyaline_ and the Tisroc's main ship. The Tisroc was carried across in a litter by eight handsome male slaves. Guards bearing large scimitars guarded him on all sides.

All of the customary bows and good wishes were exchanged between the Narnian Kings and Queen and the Tisroc, and then the real talks began.

"I have complied with all of your wishes, High King," the Tisroc said to Peter. "I have brought half my court with me at your special request as you can see in the boats, and as many guards. Now, what is this about?"

"You have been most accommodating, oh Tisroc," Peter said, looking very impressive in his fine clothing and gold crown. "My brother, King Edmund, is the right owner of this tale, and so I will allow him to speak."

Edmund stepped forward and related the whole story of how the taxes never reached Narnia from the Lone Islands, how he'd gone undercover as a slave, and how he'd managed to secure the incriminating document from Ahoshta's own home. He didn't name Rahai in it at all, but took the blame himself.

By the end of the presentation, the Tisroc looked furious, wrinkling the document with the names of the nobles involved as his fist clenched. The Kings and Queen managed not to look disturbed, but Rahai and Saedra exchanged worried glances behind their backs.

"You're telling me that my own people—my own subjects—have been plotting to start a war with your country and your territories?" the Tisroc seethed.

"Yes, oh Tisroc," Peter said, looking cool and collected. "We thought you would like to know, since we knew that you in your wisdom wouldn't wish for any further hostilities between our countries."

"_Guards_!" the Tisroc yelled.

"Yes, oh Tisroc?" the captain said.

The Tisroc thrust the list into the guard's hands. "Arrest them. All of them."

"Who, oh Tisroc?" the confused guard asked.

"Every one! Every single person on the list is to be thrown into prison, and their assets seized until I decide what to do with them."

The guard faltered a moment, then gathered his wits and hollered, throwing up his arms helplessly, "You heard the Tisroc, men, do as he says!"

In all of the Calormen boats, shouting and pandemonium broke out as the nobles scrambled to hide and evade the soldiers. Some even jumped off the ships, only to be caught in the water by nets thrown by the guards.

Saedra knew her uncle Cradish was in there somewhere, but couldn't make herself feel badly about it; she'd never grown attached to the man. She looked over at Rahai and saw that she was biting her lip.

Rahai saw Saedra watching her and whispered, "He's my father, Sae, no matter what he's done. And I…"

"Did the right thing," Saedra said firmly.

Perhaps Saedra spoke too loudly, for the Tisroc noticed Rahai and said, "What's she doing here? Isn't she Cradish's girl?"

"That is something I would speak to your Worshipfulness about," Edmund said loudly over the noise. "Since Ahoshta Tarkaan is on the list, I would like to take his place and marry this Tarkheena."

The Tisroc waved his hand distractedly. "Take her, take her. She's no use to me."

That was probably the first time Rahai looked pleased for someone to be dismissive of her.

Lucy sidled up to Saedra and smiled. "Well, it looks like our little adventure is over already."

"Not yet," Saedra said, thinking of a particular note and key her grandmother had given her. She turned to Rahai.

"I need to get into your house."


	35. The Mistakes of the Past

**The Mistakes of the Past**

* * *

As usual these days, Saedra was sitting. It wasn't completely comfortable, despite the artistic Calormene-styled curvature of the bench on which she rested. Rather, it was the lesser of two evils. The extreme discomfort of standing prompted her to be seated as often as possible to keep the pain in her back at bay and to relieve her swollen ankles.

Pregnancy did not suit Saedra in the least. She was constantly being refitted for clothing, for she was growing larger by the day. Though she still had months to go, she felt like she was about to burst! The inhumanity of wobbling around like a boulder with legs while the excited father Peter had the full use of his body did not induce her to be in the best of temperaments; she also found that her emotions were embarrassingly hard to control. She never considered herself an emotional women (others may protest), but now she was quick to tears and feeling quite hot-headed.

It was a most unfortunate time to be so, for now was a time that would test Saedra's nerves under ideal circumstances: Rahai and Edmund were planning their wedding, and with a fervor. They wanted to have a wedding here, in Calormen at Rahai's estate, before returning to Narnia. The convenience of the location to all of Rahai's relatives and the urgency of the betrothed's affections had led the Narnians to dock in Tashbaan (always with a watchful eye in case of Calormene treachery), and for a good portion of them to settle down in Rahai's mansion. The Tisroc had made an allowance in her case and had not seized the property of her father Cradish as he had with other arrested officials. The absence of Susan was acutely missed, but she sent her love by mail and assured them that she was planning a grand celebration when they returned soon after the wedding.

While Edmund and Rahai busied themselves and the house with preparations, Saedra thankfully had a distraction from the conflicting thoughts that loved to crowd her mind in regards to her brother-in-law: with Lucy and Talia's help, she'd found what Sadris had bequeathed to her.

The three had scoured Sadris' chambers from top to bottom while Rahai, Edmund, and Peter dealt with the wedding details and security, and when they couldn't find anything there, the rest of the house. It wasn't until Lucy had the idea that Sadris may have put some clues within the note that they started to make some headway.

"See here? 'There is a great chance this will be intercepted, and thus all I have to give you is this: the key, and the reminder of what Lalevis did best.' She's trying to give us a clue!" Lucy exclaimed, looking up from the note.

"Of course!" Saedra said, wiping her perspiring forehead with one sleeve while cradling her bugling stomach with the other.

They had tried to persuade her to rest while they looked, but she stubbornly resisted. She regretted that now because she was feeling exhausted.

"Why didn't I think of it before? It wouldn't be in Sadris' room, it'd be in my mother's."

"But we already looked all over Lalevis' room!" Talia exclaimed.

"It can't hurt to try," Lucy said. "And maybe Saedra will think of something while we're up there."

But they didn't find anything for a long while. Saedra carefully lowered herself onto a couch and groaned, raking her mind for any idea of what Sadris had meant.

_What did Lalevis do best?_ she thought. _Well, she danced, didn't she?_

She looked around the room. A pair of dance slippers rested next to her on the couch. They were the only pair in sight. Dancing was what Lalevis did best, so...

Certain that she'd finally found what she'd been looking for, she got up and searched under the couch cushions. Their prey had to be under here! But to her dismay, there was nothing but dust.

Disheartened, she sat again and watched Talia and Lucy scrounge around. A memory floated into her mind of when Sadris had first shown her the room. Saedra had been amazed at how the room had looked as if Lalevis had just been there, with clothes, makeup, and shoes lying around.

_Shoes lying around. _

Saedra perked up. _The shoes had been lying on the ground when I came in…somewhere in front of the closet. _Sadris had picked them up while she had been talking.

Saedra got up and knelt in front of the closet, running her hands over the stone floor.

"What is it, Mum?" Talia asked.

"It's just a hunch…" Saedra said. "But could it be under the stones?"

Lucy and Talia glanced at each other doubtfully, but came over and started feeling the stones with her.

"See if there are any loose ones," Saedra said.

"I got it!" Lucy exclaimed, wiggling a loose rock. "I'll need something to pry it up!"

Talia sprang up and scanned the room. She came back with a letter opener. "Will this do?"

"I think so," Lucy said, and wedged the opener between the cracks in the floor. After some tugging, she pulled the rock up.

All three peered into the dark hole.

"Why, it's a little chamber!" Talia exclaimed.

Lucy reached her hand in. "There's something down here." After a little struggling, she pulled out a small, white marble box. "Key?"

Saedra produced the key Sadris sent her and gave it to Lucy, who put it in the keyhole. It fit.

"This is your honor, Sae," Lucy said, pushing the box to her sister-in-law.

Saedra took it, and the other two leaned over her shoulder as she slowly opened it.

Inside was a little notebook, bound in a red cloth. Saedra took it and flipped through it. It was covered in small handwriting from beginning to end, and the inside of the front cover read, "Lalevis' Diary," in fancy doodling.

"This is it," Saedra breathed, feeling as if somehow this book had the means to solve all of the problems in her life. "This is what Sadris wanted me to have."

But gleaning the information proved much harder. The diary was much longer than it looked, and so over the next few days Saedra went into hiding, reading the journal hungrily. It distracted her from her physical pain as well as the bothersome wedding preparations and arriving guests, and so she'd often go out into the luxurious plant-covered, fenced-in roof of the mansion to read.

And here Saedra was, sitting on a bench on the roof and reading the diary in the dimming daylight. She was facing the sunset, and a warm, sweet-smelling breeze fluttered the pages of the book as she read. Her interest increased when she reached the part she thought to be about her father Dane.

…_An envoy from Archenland has arrived today. They are so fair-skinned and light! They are rather jolly and improper, which is the first thing Tarkheena Lanya sniffed haughtily to me when she had the chance. Why she thinks I'd care about the Barbarians, I should like to know! She had the air of someone who had secret information, which I suspect was an act as likely as anything. Why Abrastan finds her so alluring I shall never understand—_

"I thought I might find you here, my dear!"

Saedra turned to see Peter headed through the potted plants towards her. She smiled, lowered the notebook, and scooted over on the bench to make room for him.

"How goes the party?" she asked.

Below her the faint sounds of Edmund and Rahai's pre-wedding celebration could be faintly heard. The wedding ceremony would take place the next day.

He kissed her forehead and sat down, unbuttoning the top buttons of his party tunic.

"Oh, it's great fun. Rahai's nieces and nephews are all being put to bed-thankfully-so now the party is really getting started. Ever since you excused yourself I've been talking to Tarkaan Abrastan. He is a most fascinating man." He settled back and put his arm around her shoulders.

She rested her head against him and patted the diary. "Funny you should mention him. I was just reading about him."

"Oh? Has he finally started paying attention to your poor mother?" he smiled.

There wasn't an entry in Lalevis' diary that didn't extol Abrastan's virtues. Though her step-brother's best friend was ten years older than the smitten teenager, she had been hopelessly in love with the oblivious man.

"Hardly, poor girl," she laughed. "No, she was just lamenting how Abrastan was paying attention to a rival of hers."

Peter picked up the notebook and flipped through it. "How far have you gotten?"

"I'm three-fourths done now. I should be able to finish it tonight."

"Then we are close to finding out what good ol' Sadris wanted you to know, mm?"

Saedra shifted to make herself more comfortable against him and chuckled. "Or maybe she was a delusional old bat in her last days. Either way, this notebook has been absolutely fascinating. It's like I'm finally meeting my mother. The mother I never knew."

They sat in comfortable, thoughtful silence as the sun sank over the western edge of the world.

With a sudden thought, she inclined her head up to his. "Peter, what happened to _your_ mother?"

Peter looked strangely startled at the question. "I...I can't remember."

"You can't remember?" Saedra repeated, sitting up. "How could you not remember your mother? Did she die?"

"No..." He looked extremely confused.

"What about your father?"

"I...I have a faint recollection of them..."

"Where were they from? Narnia? Archenland? The Isles?"

He didn't reply, only stared out into the darkening night with a furrowed brow.

She gripped his chin and turned his head to face her. He was acting so strangely! "Peter?"

His blue eyes were disturbed. "I truly can't remember. They were from far away. That's all I can tell you."

"Do you miss them?"

He paused. "I don't."

"You don't miss them?" she repeated, surprised.

"Do you miss yours?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Well...I will always miss my father, but I suppose I've never missed my mother because I never knew her. I've always been curious, though. Now that I know about her history, I regret not being able to know her personally."

"Do you think you'd be different if Lalevis was there to raise you?"

Saedra smiled. "I don't know...more proud perhaps...more outspoken. It seems I did get my more admirable traits from her side of the family based on what I see in the diary."

He laughed. "Aslan help us all!"

It was now completely dark out. Houselights twinkled in the distance below them.

"This is nice," Peter said, squeezing her shoulder.

"What is?"

"Us being able to talk without distractions. It's nice not having to worry about where Ed is or how to keep our travel plans secret or how to expand the Navy or how the Tisroc might respond to a confrontation."

"Yes...it _is_ nice," she agreed. She felt completely comfortable here with Peter. Well, except for the pains of pregnancy, but that couldn't be helped. "As long as the Tisroc isn't going to try a sneak attack and corner us here," she added jokingly.

"I should hope he isn't that foolish," he chuckled.

They had thoroughly planned for any scenario in case the Tisroc decided to take advantage of the Narnian rulers being so close. The fact that Rahai's mansion was on the edge of the river and not on the actual island of Tashbaan was greatly in their favor; it would be much easier to trap them within the walls of the city than here.

"Eh, Rabadash might be that foolish," she commented wryly. "You know, it's funny how our opinions of him have evolved since that one spring when Prince Corin and I went up to Narnia. Poor Susan was infatuated with the man, and now..." Her voice trailed off into amused silence.

"Sae, this reminds me of something I've wanted to ask you for a long time."

"What's that?" she asked interestedly.

"Why did you come up with Prince Corin that first time?"

"Well-you know King Lune wanted Prince Corin to get away-so he could be distracted from his mother's death-" she stuttered.

She was trying to quickly decide whether she could safely tell him the real reason. Was there any reason she shouldn't?

"Yes, I know why Corin came up. But why did you?"

"Peter!" she laughed nervously. "Do you regret my visit?"

"Not at all! I just had this feeling that there was more to you being there. I mean, Lune could have sent anyone up to accompany Corin. Why you?"

"Someone needed to do it," she laughed. "Why _not _me?"

"You had responsibilities in Harden, and left your old nanny to watch your affairs. Surely there were other nobles that could have watched Corin without leaving their affairs in inexperienced hands."

"Peter, Gilda was more than capable-" she said defensively.

He ignored her protest and continued. "While up at Cair Paravel, you seemed like you were hiding something. And now that I know you so much more now, I'm more certain that something was...off."

"Off?"

"I know how to read your face, Sae. If you're hiding something, I can tell, at least sometimes. And when I think back on that time, I realize that you were up to something."

Saedra doubted he could read her thoughts as well as he thought he could.

_He had no idea I was pregnant, and he has no idea the struggle I'm having with Ed. Or does he know that too? Is he trying to tell me something?_

She sighed. "Lune wanted me to try to get Rabadash to fall in love with me. We both knew a marriage alliance would be greatly beneficial to our people, so my assignment was to try to seduce him."

"_Seduce _him?"

"You know what I mean. I did nothing improper, but I did try my best to be encouraging."

"But?"

"But Susan loved him, and I obviously didn't have a chance competing with her. And my...affections...were for another."

It was the first time that the subject of what had gone on between them during that time had been brought up in casual conversation. It had only ever been brought up in fights during their engagement, and after Saedra's close call in Narrowhaven. It was something that Saedra had been afraid of bringing up for fear of starting a fight with Peter; she was willing to let the past lie for the sake of peace with her husband, despite her curiosity and past hurts.

"Ah," Peter said.

_Say something, Peter! _she inwardly ordered. _Tell me what happened with us! _Perhaps it was the impending arrival of their child, but Saedra had never wanted to resolve the issue more.

"We should get you inside, my dear," he said, disentangling himself to stand up. "It's getting rather chilly."

She said nothing and followed him through the dark, sprawling mansion. There was no one around, and they could still hear the sounds from the party coming in through windows. When they came to their guest room, Peter lit some lamps as she changed into her nightgown and climbed into bed. She laid back to take the pressure off of her feet and took out Lalevis' diary-but she couldn't clear the issue from her mind.

Throwing caution to the wind, she said, "Peter."

He had settled himself at the desk and was writing. He turned in his chair to face her. "Yes?"

"Why did you marry me?"

Silence followed as they stared at each other. He slowly rose from the chair and came and sat in front of her on the edge of the bed. He took her hands in his and looked at her.

"Because I loved you," he said simply.

"You loved me," she repeated dumbly.

"Yes. I loved you."

She swallowed. The answer didn't satisfy her curiosity as she had hoped; a dozen more questions flitted through her mind. "But...but then...then why did you act so strangely before I went to Tashbaan?"

He looked down. "Sae..."

"I know you said you couldn't tell me before, but can't you now? I'm having your child, Peter. I have a right to know."

He studied her. "It was because Ed was in love with you."

She froze. _He knew about Edmund? _

He watched her reaction silently, waiting for her to speak.

"I...I'm speechless," she finally admitted. "I had no idea..." No idea that Peter knew, at least.

He released his breath. "That was my hope. I didn't want your friendship with Ed to be tainted by past feelings. That's why I refused to tell you."

She played with his hands absent-mindedly. "How did you find out?"

"It took me a while, but then the pieces started falling together. I caught him watching you. He would dance with you as much as he could, even though dancing had never been a favorite of his. He'd cared for someone for years, and I realized that he could have developed feelings for you when you came to Narnia with your father.

"When I found out, it was already after we'd started...whatever we were doing. I had a choice: I could continue my relationship with you, or I could step aside and let Ed have the chance that was rightfully his. He'd loved you for so long..." He paused. "And so I decided that I had to push you away; we hadn't made our relationship public, so it would only be between you and me. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done, because I _had _fallen in love with you. It killed me to hurt you, but I knew I couldn't live with myself if I'd disregarded my brother's feelings. If I married you while Ed loved you..." He shook his head. "I can only imagine how tortured he'd be. On top of that, the guilt would have eaten away at me and soiled our relationship."

"But you _did_ marry me."

"Yes, but Ed's feelings had subsided. I offered him the opportunity to marry you, but he refused. I saw that he had outgrown his childhood affection, and eagerly married you myself." His lips turned up into a half-smile. "I was convinced that I could make you care for me again, and that you would bend your conditions for marrying me."

"It seems you were right," Saedra said, squeezing his hand.

"It would seem so." He reached over and pushed her hair back from her face. "I don't regret anything I've done besides hurting you. If I could have handled myself any other way, I would have."

She had no doubt he was telling the truth. Edmund's explanation for his actions fit together with Peter's perfectly; the whole story was finally starting to come together, after all this time. Both brothers were so damn loyal to each other—and to her!

"I love you, Sae," Peter smiled.

She looked at her husband. The man had been willing to give up his happiness for his brother's, had bourn her wrath and anger, and had made her love him again-or had she never stopped loving him? All she knew was that Peter was much, much too good for her, for she could never give him her whole heart.

"I love you too, Peter."

* * *

Saedra hadn't been able to finish the diary that night, so she picked it up the next morning as slaves tended to her appearance for the wedding. She knew she could never focus on the wedding now that she was so close to the end. The secret had to be coming soon. And so it was.

Suddenly, she jumped out her seat, startling the hovering slaves. She clutched the book in her shaking hands, staring out into space with a shocked expression.

"Are you all right, Princess?" a slave hesitantly asked, holding the brush fearfully as if Saedra would slap her.

"Go fetch my husband," she gasped. "Now. Please! All of you, go find him!"

They hurried into action, scurrying out of the room.

She sat down in the empty room, an expression of shock on her face. A few minutes later, a breathless Peter hurried into the room, looking bothered.

"That was fast!" Saedra said, going to greet him.

"Fast?" he panted.

"The slaves-they didn't find you?"

"Slaves? No, I came of my own accord. I have news."

"As do I," she said. "Peter...I've discovered Sadris' secret."

"Sae-" he started.

"Peter, listen!" she said, gripping his arm. "Are you listening?"

"Yes, yes, I'm listening!" he said distractedly.

"Peter, Dane isn't my father."

His mouth dropped. "What?"

"Dane isn't my father!"

"I'm...I'm shocked!" he breathed. "But we have something more pressing to deal with."

"More pressing?" she laughed maniacally. "Are you talking about the wedding? Who cares? It all makes sense now! I've been so blind not to see it! _Dane isn't my father!_"

He gripped the sides of her head with his hands to get her attention. "Saedra, listen to me. I've just received word from Harden. Your Regent Gilda is dead."

"And now that-_What?_"

"Gilda's dead. She's been poisoned."


	36. Marrina Felcar

**Marrina Felcar **

* * *

"Poisoned?" Saedra shrieked. "Gilda poisoned? How did you find out? How could this happen?"

Peter grabbed her arms and firmly, but gently, made her sit down in the chair in front of the vanity. He squatted down in front of her. "A Bird named Fallowtan just brought word. It happened this very morning. She was found dead in her room. Her skin was a remarkable shade of green, which apparently is a tell-tale sign of poisoning."

"But...but who would...?"

"I was hoping you could tell me. Did Gilda have any enemies?"

"None that I'm aware of...I suppose any enemies I have would be hers...but 'enemy' is such a strong word! I hadn't thought that someone loathed me or her enough to _kill. _I know that Reine did try to assume more power than he had, but I don't think him capable of such a thing...he _was_ my father's-I mean Dane's-best friend..."

"Since speculation at this point would be futile, we need to decide what to do."

"What do you mean, what to do? Why, I must go north at once!"

"Sae," Peter said in a warning tone of voice, "we've tarried too long in Tashbaan for you to be travelling. It's obvious we shall have to wait here until the baby is born."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," she laughed. "We have plenty of time! Why, I've two months left still."

"But the risk..."

"Look at me, Peter. Do I _look_ like my health is in any sort of danger? I may be in danger of sinking the _Splendor Hyaline _because of my size, but I'm certainly completely healthy. I _need _to be there. What would it look like if I _didn't_ go at this time? I'd be leaving Harden without any leader."

"I could assign one of my lords in your place for the time until you can travel..." he offered lamely, then sighed. "I know I can't talk you out of this, but I _beg_ you not to take any unnecessary risks or over-exert yourself."

"I won't," she promised. "And we can keep guards with us just in case."

He stood up. "I'll alert the Navy. We leave on the morrow. I'll find the servants to have them pack our things." He was about to start walking towards the door, but he stopped. "Oh-and what was that about your father?"

"Dane isn't my father," she said, this time much more calmly. The words felt so strange coming from her lips. The man who'd lovingly raised her...wasn't really her father...

"Yes...but who is?"

She paused, a strange expression on her face. "...Abrastan..." It was almost a question, as if she couldn't believe it.

"Abrastan?"

"Yes..." It was no wonder Abrastan had looked at her so strangely when he'd first met her. She must have reminded him of her mother.

"But how?"

"When my grandfather was dying, my mother came down to Tashbaan from Harden. During her stay, Abrastan finally developed feelings for her, and she'd never stopped loving him, so they started an affair."

"And Dane never knew?"

"He was in Harden the whole time. When my mother found out she was pregnant with me, she fled north again with the hope that Dane would think I was his. She didn't even tell Abrastan-no one knew, or at least she thought so. Obviously Sadris found out either then or somewhere down the line, or otherwise she wouldn't have pointed me to the diary."

"Lalevis wrote this all in the diary?"

She nodded. "The big question is whether my father-I mean Dane-knew or not. I don't know how obvious it was that my mother was already pregnant when she went back. She left the diary here, and I don't know if she had one up there."

"Oh, Dane surely knew," Peter said, shaking his head. "There's no way he couldn't have."

"What do you mean?"

"A man can always tell if his wife hasn't been faithful."

Saedra was surprised. "You say that with such certainty. How do you know?"

"Instinct. Whatever the sin, a guilty person is easy to spot a mile away. And when you come to know someone so well, it's even more obvious when you share the same bed if something is amiss."

"So you mean to say that Dane knew I wasn't his daughter and raised me anyway?"

"Does that seem inconsistent with his character? You don't think he would try to conceal the truth for your sake as well as his? You would have been excluded from all good society-who knows what would have happened to you? As for him, he would be shamed his whole life because of having had a wife who neither loved him nor could be controlled."

"It makes sense when you say it like that..." she paused, sinking deep into thought. Had Dane been so noble as to pretend she was his when he knew she wasn't? He'd willfully raised a daughter of a different man?

"I strongly advise you not to tell anyone-and I mean _anyone-_of this before giving it some thought, Sae. The ramifications could be dire."

"What do you mean?"

She hadn't begun to think of how this information could affect her life. It had happened in the past, so could it still affect her now?

"You could lose Harden. As Dane's daughter, you had a right to be Duchess, but as the illegitimate daughter of Abrastan, the right would go to the next in line, whoever that is. You may have the temptation to tell Abrastan, but you mustn't, at least not now with Gilda's death. We don't know what we're dealing with here."

The thought _had _crossed her mind to speak to Abrastan about what she'd discovered. The possibility of getting to know him and to know his side of the tale tantalized her. He was, after all, her father—her flesh and blood. Of course she wanted to know him. But Peter was right: she would have to be sure she wouldn't lose Harden should the information get out. She'd have to wait.

"Now, we'd better hurry up if we want to get down to Ed's wedding," Peter said, bringing her back to the present. "I'll have the Navy start to get ready to leave. The sooner we get you safely to Harden, the better I'll feel."

* * *

"Wasn't that just the most romantic ceremony you've ever seen, Mother?" Talia giggled, cutting into her meat. The gangling twelve-year-old was wearing a bright green dress and orange Calormene flowers in her dark hair.

They were seated at ovalish tables in Rahai's courtyard enjoying a Calormene feast. Talia sat between Peter and Saedra, and Edmund, Rahai, Lucy, Lasaraleen, and Rahai's sisters were at their table. Rahai's young niece and nephews were running around, throwing flowers at each other, and the other guests chatted pleasantly at the other tables. It was a small, intimate affair, and only close relatives and friends were there.

When Saedra didn't reply, Talia repeated a little more loudly, "Mother?"

"Mm?" Saedra asked, staring in the direction of the next table.

"What are you looking at?" Talia asked, trying to follow her gaze.

"Oh-nothing!" Saedra said, and focused on her daughter. "What was it?"

She had been watching Abrastan, trying to make herself comprehend that the dark, dignified warrior was her father. He was chatting with another Tarkaan, a man about his age who was married to Rahai's youngest sister.

"I was just saying that the wedding was very romantic. I hope my wedding is that romantic someday!"

"I'm sure it will be," Saedra smiled, knowing who the smitten teenager had in mind for a husband. Her eyes sparkled at even the mention of Prince Corin's name.

Edmund and Rahai's wedding and reception was astonishingly beautiful and sickeningly romantic, but Saedra was immunized to the atmosphere. Sure, she went through the motions of smiling and greeting her family members (and putting up with Lasaraleen's gushing about Saedra's pregnancy and the uproar in Tashbaan about all of the arrests of Tarkaans _and_ how funny it was that King Edmund had been her man-slave), but Saedra's thoughts were preoccupied with either Abrastan and Harden, and sometimes both. She wondered wryly if her life could be any _more_ complicated.

"Darling, you've been positively distracted this whole day!" Lasaraleen helpfully pointed out to Saedra.

"I'm sorry," Saedra said evasively. "I've got a lot on my mind." She was aware of Edmund's eyes on her, and glanced at him quickly.

_He probably thinks I'm referring to him, but I wish I was! _she thought.

The tension between the two of them had never gone away, but she was conveniently distracted from any sort of unpleasant emotions that the idea of his being married to her cousin would elicit under normal circumstances.

"That brings me to something I've been meaning to tell you all," Peter said. "I didn't want to distract from the ceremony, and I don't wish to detract from the celebrations, but we, all of us, are going to have to leave for the North tomorrow."

Sounds of surprise and indignation rose all around the table.

"Something pressing has come up, and we must leave immediately," Peter said, looking at Edmund and Lucy in such a way that they knew not to ask the reason in front of the other guests.

"What?" Lasaraleen cried. "What in the world could be so important?"

"It's not something I can talk about," Peter said sympathetically.

"But surely all of you don't need to go," Lasaraleen protested. "Only the High King can go."

"It wouldn't be wise to split the fleet into two," Peter explained. "It's not that we're necessarily distrustful of the Tisroc, but we've learned that you can never be too careful."

"You here!" Rahai said, waving a servant over. "Tell the household that we will be leaving tomorrow. Instruct everyone that we'll need our belongings packed and provisions prepared."

The servant bowed and left.

"I'm sorry to have to dampen your celebration," Peter said apologetically to Rahai. "If it could be helped..."

"Nonsense, your Majesty!" she said. "I understood when I agreed to marry my dear husband-" here she uncharacteristically giggled and blushed shyly at the word "-that personal pleasures must be put aside when more important matters arise."

"See how lucky I have been?" Edmund grinned, squeezing his new wife's shoulder.

"_Blessed_ is more like it," Lucy corrected. "Aslan knew you'd need a tolerant wife with all of your bizarre ways!"

It took longer than Peter had hoped to get the Navy ready to depart, but two days later they left Tashbaan in a spectacular display, Narnian flag waving and gleaming ships proudly gliding through the river. Peter and Saedra explained the situation to Talia, Edmund, Lucy, and Rahai, and apologized for rushing the newlyweds away so soon after the wedding.

"It wasn't your fault," Edmund shrugged. "Poor Su will be glad to have us back sooner."

* * *

Saedra didn't know what she had expected to find when they arrived in Harden, but she was surprised when everything seemed_...normal. _The marketplace was functioning as usual, though as soon as word spread that the Narnian Fleet had arrived, everyone rushed to the eastern ledge to get a glimpse of the fleet.

When Saedra and the rest entered the castle's gates, they had to be protected by guards; everyone was clamoring to be near the famous Narnian rulers. Edmund and Lucy took it all in stride, but Peter was more anxious, guarding Saedra closely, even though it wasn't _her_ that everyone wanted to see. Rahai looked around with a supremely interested expression, never having been in Archenland before.

When they finally pushed through the castle doors, Saedra's assistant Tina and her mother Mrs. Quigley were waiting for them. The door clanged loudly behind them, shutting out most of the noise of the marketplace.

"Oh, my Lady, we're so glad you're here!" Tina cried, clutching Saedra's hands after a quick, ungraceful curtsy. She suddenly stopped short. "Milady, you're-you're-"

"Humongous, yes," Saedra smiled. "We can catch up on everything else later. I need to know what happened with Gilda."

"Come, my Lady, we need to get you off your feet," Mrs. Quigley said. "Come to the drawing room and we'll tell you all."

Saedra looked up at Peter in a silent question.

He read her look and said, "I'll come with."

Lucy said, "Call for us if you need anything. I'm going to have a look around if that's okay with you, Sae. This place is ancient! Wanna come, Ed? Rahai?"

"I want to come with you, Mum," Talia declared with interest.

"Yes, it'd be good for you to hear this too, Tal," Saedra said. "Come along."

Tina and Mrs. Quigley led Saedra, Peter, and Talia to the drawing room while the rest went off exploring the old castle. After they were seated, Saedra said, "Now speak. What happened to Gilda?"

"I'm sure Fallowtan told you that Gilda was poisoned," Tina began.

"Yes, yes, he told us that," Saedra said. "But by whom? When? Most importantly, _how_?"

"To start at the beginning, I was the one who found Gilda," Tina said. "She'd been missing for hours, and I wondered if she was sick. When I got to her room, she was lying on the ground in the same clothes she'd worn the night before. A glass of wine was spilled on the carpet, and her face was light green. After recovering from my shock, I instantly had Talan fetch my mother, because she knows about these sorts of things."

Mrs. Quigley joined in. "As soon as I took one look at her, I knew the very herb that was used to kill her. It's a Telmarine plant called the Marrina Felcar."

"I've never heard of it," Peter said.

"It's quite rare, your Majesty. It would have taken me ages to figure out what plant it was, had I not had experience with it before." Mrs. Quigley looked at Saedra pointedly.

"What is that look about?" Saedra asked confusedly. "Was someone else poisoned with that herb that I should know about?"

"You don't know, my Lady?" Mrs. Quigley asked. "Why, it was your very mother Duchess Lalevis who died from that poison mere days after giving birth to you! That's how I was able to identify the poison so quickly. It was the exact shade of green that your mother turned when she died. I did some investigating then for Duke Dane (for he was in a mad state, trying to figure out who would do such a thing to her), and finally figured out which plant if was. It's extremely rare, and very deadly. The only possible way of saving someone who has been poisoned is to immediately start bleeding them to rid the body of as much contaminated blood as possible. Of course, that is extremely risky, for losing so much blood is deadly in itself..."

Mrs. Quigley realized then that no one was listening anymore. All four in her audience were looking alarmed. Saedra was staring into space, Peter and Talia were watching Saedra's expression, and Tina was also looking shocked.

"You mean to tell me," Saedra said slowly, "that my mother did _not _die in childbirth but was _poisoned_?"

"Yes, my Lady," Mrs. Quigley nodded. "Your father never told you this?"

Saedra shook her head. "Neither did Gilda..."

"It makes sense that he wouldn't tell you. It's not something you needed to know, my Lady, especially considering..." Mrs. Quigley's voice trailed off. She looked uncertain.

"Go on," Saedra ordered.

"...Considering that it appeared that the Duchess poisoned herself."

Silence followed.

"That's impossible," Saedra said flatly.

"It's not, my Lady. The evidence was obvious, though poor Duke Dane couldn't admit it for ages. Traces of the plant were found in one of her drawers."

"I still don't believe it," Saedra said. "I have been reading her diary-which I recovered from her old chambers in Tashbaan-and Lalevis may have had her faults, but she wasn't a quitter. She would never have killed herself. Someone framed her."

Mrs. Quigley just shrugged helplessly. "We'll never know, I guess."

"But what does this have to do with Gilda?" Talia asked, bringing the conversation back on track.

"We're not sure, Miss Talia," Tina said, leaning forward. "All we can suppose is that some source in Telmar, maybe the same one, provided the Marrina Felcar in both situations. That's the only connection, but it could be vital."

Peter looked at Saedra and squeezed her knee. "My resources are at your disposal, Sae. What do want to do?"

"I want to secure the castle," she said without hesitation. "No one comes and goes from this building without permission. I want guards stationed at the doors, and identification papers will be required to enter or leave. The marketplace will be left alone for now, because it's obvious that Gilda was a target, not just a random incident. I think it's likely that whoever did this wanted me to come back, so we must exercise extreme caution. Talia, I don't want you to go anywhere without a guard."

"Mum! I can handle myself!"

"I know you can, but I won't rest easy without it. The only other option is that you stay indoors all the time."

Talia made a begrudging face, but she didn't argue further.

"Would you like to go in alone, Sae?" Peter asked softly as they stood before the closed door to what had been Gilda's chambers.

Saedra wasn't sure at first. She opened her mouth and closed it. Then she nodded.

"I'll be right out here if you need me," he said, squeezing her shoulder.

Saedra entered the room, and gently closed the door behind her. She turned and faced the bed, taking in the form of Gilda's body covered by a white sheet. The smell of spices filled her nose.

She looked around the room, unable to comprehend that Gilda was really gone. She saw the spot on the carpet where the poisoned wine had spilled. It was near the closet.

The closet.

Visions of her younger mischievous self-filled Saedra's mind. She had hidden in that closet on countless occasions, for various devious reasons.

"Now, what are you doing in here, Miss Saedra?" Gilda would scold upon discovering her. "You should be working on your geography!"

"It's boring!" chubby eleven-year-old Saedra would pout, crossing her arms across her chest.

"If you don't do your studies now, you'll fall behind and have to take them with you when you go up to Narnia this summer."

"Okay!" Saedra would grin.

She had known her father would never force her to do her studies if Gilda wasn't around, and Gilda wouldn't be going to Narnia with them. The governess knew this all too well, but it was the only threat she had against the spoiled girl.

Saedra would hop up and skip out of the room, probably to go ride her horse or bother the stable boys.

"Hopeless child!" Gilda would exclaim after her. "You'll never get anywhere in life if you don't apply yourself!"

Despite herself, Saedra chuckled at the memory. _Poor, poor Gilda. _

She went over to the bed, hesitated, and pulled back the sheet. Gilda's whole lower body had been wrapped in cloth. Only her head was uncovered. The spices had slowed down the decay.

Warm tears fell silently down Saedra's cheeks as she studied the dear face. Gilda had aged prematurely. The wrinkles on Gilda's forehead and grey hair were probably due to the stress of bringing up a duchess-in-training who always got her way. She had done so much for Saedra, shaping her into the woman she was today. And Saedra had never thanked her.

"Gilda?" she whispered, laughing a bit at her foolishness for talking to an invisible spirit. She wiped away a tear and sniffed. "If you can hear me, I want you to know that I love you. Thank you for putting up with me for all these years. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for you. Thank you."

* * *

After the funeral for Gilda, the focus moved to securing the castle. Narnian soldiers guarded every door, and Saedra's security measures were implemented. Things calmed down, and no other incidents occurred, so Edmund, Lucy, and Rahai were taking three-fourths of the fleet with them back to Narnia.

Saedra was getting too large to be able to walk far distances, so she said her goodbyes from the doorway of the castle as her family left.

"Now Sae, you must make sure Peter sends a Bird the instant my little nephew or niece is born!" Lucy said, embracing Saedra as best she could with the baby's bump in the way.

"I'll do my best," Saedra grinned. "And I want to hear all the gossip to distract me when I have a squealing baby to handle."

"I'll write every day," Lucy promised, and moved out of the way so Edmund and Rahai could say goodbye.

Saedra moved to hug Edmund, but he quickly stuck out his hand for her to shake.

"Goodbye, Saedra," he said with a straight face. He was staring at her nose. "I wish you all the best health."

"Why, thank you, Ed. You be good to my cousin now, all right?"

He nodded and stepped aside for Rahai.

"Bye, Sae," she said, kissing her cheek. "Take good care of yourself!"

* * *

After they left, the castle settled back into its usual routine. Talia went back to her school-work, and as fall approached, started plans for her thirteenth birthday.

Saedra wanted Talia's birthday to be as big as Talia wanted it to be, and as the girl was becoming quite outgoing, she wanted a large party. It would be good to show Harden that, though Gilda was sorely missed, things were back to normal. Saedra didn't want commerce to be disrupted by worries, for that would benefit no one. She allowed Talia to invite the twin Princes and Aravis to come stay in Harden for a few days for her party, and also invited the peasants from the surrounding area.

The theme for the party was Knights of Old, so Peter and Saedra conspired together and had a suit of armor secretly made for Talia. On the morning of her birthday, the two of them went to Talia's bedroom after breakfast and knocked on the door.

"Just a moment!" Talia called out.

A second later, she opened the door. Aravis, Cor, and Corin were there also, sitting on the bed and munching on snacks.

"Mum! Father!" she exclaimed.

"Happy birthday!" Saedra and Peter exclaimed at the same time (as they had planned to), grinning in anticipation of her reaction to the gift.

"We brought you your gift," Peter said. "May we come in?"

"Of course!" Talia said.

All three of the other teens hopped off the bed and bowed or curtseyed when the High King and Duchess walked in.

"I know you put together your own outfit for the party," Peter explained, "but we figured it's high time you had a _real _suit of armor for yourself."

"You can come in now, Talan!" Saedra called.

Talan, one of the stable boys, came in hauling a wooden manikin that had been dressed up in a suit of armor. The teens gathered round and poked and prodded the suit interestedly when Talan set it down.

Talia stared at it in shock. "My own suit?"

"We had a hard time trying to figure out whether we should have the Narnian lion or Archenlander shield," Peter explained, "so we decided to have both."

The armor itself was the typical grey metal, but the tunic was half red and half blue. The figure of the lion was on the red side, and the Archenlander shield on the blue.

"This is really something!" Corin said.

"It's wonderful," Talia breathed. "Thank you so much!"

"It's our pleasure," Peter smiled. "And I have something else for you when you're ready."

"What's this?" Saedra asked. "You didn't tell me about another gift, Peter!"

"I wasn't sure I'd be able to secure it," he shrugged.

"I'm ready now!" Talia said eagerly.

"Then you'll need to get your shoes on," Peter said. "We're going outside."

Soon Peter was leading all of them through the castle, refusing to answer questions. He took them through the kitchens where the feast was being prepared and out through the kitchen door to the stables. He stopped in front of a stall where a beautiful black horse was eating.

"And this is your other gift," Peter said, gesturing grandly towards the horse.

Corin's jaw dropped. "This is a Telmarine horse, isn't it, your Majesty?"

"That it is, Prince," Peter replied. "Bred in King Meridian's personal stables."

"No _fair_!" Corin exclaimed enviously.

* * *

That night was the feast. Everyone from the surrounding area was there, dressed up in their best impersonations of Knights and Ladies.

"So what are you going to name the baby, Duchess?" Aravis asked as the meal was wrapping up.

Saedra grinned. "Well, if it's a boy, I came up with the name of Willem. It's good strong name of an old King who defended Archenland from an invasion from Calormen centuries ago. It'll be a good name for the future King of Narnia."

"And I say, if it's a girl, we name her Caulitha," Peter added.

"Caulitha?" Aravis asked. "I've never heard of it, but it's pretty. What does it mean?"

"It means 'daughter of the stars,'" Peter said.

"His Majesty has an appreciation for the stars," Saedra explained, smiling at her husband.

Peter grinned.

They had restarted doing something they had done the first time they had fallen in love-going onto the roof to look at the stars. Saedra hoped that if they tried to recreate the romance of the past winter when she'd been able to sufficiently let go of thoughts of Edmund, the better for her family. It was then that they debated baby names and finally came up with their two favorites.

"This is swell, Tal!" Corin exclaimed, finishing up his food. "You're the only girl I know who would choose to have a Knights theme instead of flowers and frills!"

Talia blushed appreciatively.

"Who's going to start the dancing?" Aravis asked, flipping her curly dark hair over her shoulder. "It looks like the band is getting ready."

"Why don't you start it?" Saedra asked, smiling. "I'd love to see the northern steps you've picked up."

"I've no one to dance with!" Aravis protested.

"Bah!" Cor interjected. "Now you're just being silly. There are tons of fellows here. There aren't nearly enough girls!"

Saedra laughed. "I'd dance with you, dear Prince Cor, but as you see, I'd be hard-pressed to walk without waddling like a duck!"

It was a becoming an embarrassing joke about how large Saedra was becoming as she approached her time. People would often comment that the baby would be the largest baby born to a non-giant woman ever!

"You should ask Aravis here to dance," Saedra finished.

Cor's face turned a deep shade of red.

"Oh, buck up, Cor!" Corin said. "See, I'll even ask a girl to dance."

He got up and walked to the nearest table where a cute peasant girl was sitting with her family. The whole table watched as he bowed dramatically and stuck out his hand. The girl looked startled to be asked to dance by the famous Prince, but she blushed and accepted. As Corin led her to the dance floor, he winked at Cor.

"Fine!" Cor exclaimed, not wanting to be outdone. "Aravis, would you like to dance?"

"Don't make it sound like such a _chore_!" Aravis snapped. "You should be honored to ask me to dance!"

Cor screwed up his face dramatically, stood up, and politely bowed to her. "May I please have this dance, oh High Lady of Anvard Upon Whom the Stars Smile and the Mermaids Sing-"

"Oh, I'll dance with you if you'll just shut up!" she replied with mock-exasperation, though she looked very pleased. They joined the other couple on the floor.

Peter nudged Saedra, and she noted Talia's heart-broken expression as she watched Corin with the peasant girl. Corin hadn't asked Talia to dance. Peter stood up and bowed to his step-daughter.

"My Princess, may I have the pleasure of your hand this evening?"

Talia's face lit up. "You may, Father."

Saedra beamed as Peter led Talia onto the floor. She cradled her stomach and smiled as she felt the baby kick. She was so close to her time...any day now she would be holding a new baby in her arms...

"Would you like me to refill your glass, my Lady?" a servant asked.

"Thank you, yes," she smiled, and took the full glass from her. She sipped thoughtfully, watching the dancing pairs. She had taken it for granted that Corin felt the same way about Talia as Talia felt for him; she desperately hoped Talia wouldn't be too crushed if the teenage boy fell for someone else.

_Besides, he's young, _she thought. _He has plenty of time to grow up. _

She watched the dancing from the side for a while, but started to feel tired. She got up and found Peter and Talia.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have a lie-down. I'm feeling a bit fatigued."

"Are you going to come back?" Talia asked hopefully. "It's still early yet!"

"I'll try," Saedra smiled sleepily. "I'm sorry, but the baby's taking a lot of energy out of me!"

"It's all right," Peter said jovially. "Rest up! There's plenty of time for running around later. You want me to walk you back to the room?"

"No, I'll be fine," Saedra assured him. "If I don't come back tonight, I'll see you in the morning."

She hugged Talia.

"Happy birthday, dear."

"Thanks, Mum."

Saedra made her way through the dark passages, saying goodnight to the guards she passed. She was in a great mood; the party had been a smashing success so far despite all the security measures, and Peter would be there for the rest to make sure Talia had a great time even if Corin disappointed her. She wished she could have stayed, but maybe she could have a little nap and join them again.

As she climbed the stairs, a warm sensation suddenly flooded through her. She gripped the railing, feeling extremely dizzy. Thinking it was a passing sensation, she paused a minute to regain her bearings. After a moment, the sensation seemed to go away, and so she continued to climb.

Suddenly, everything seemed to get dark. She cried out, grabbing for the railing. It had been there a moment before, but now she couldn't find it! She grasped at the air, knowing she was falling backward, but her vision was blurry and dark.

She heard a cracking noise and the sound of yelling voices and running feet. She vaguely felt the sensation of her body rolling back down the stairs before everything went completely dark and she knew no more.


	37. Her Blood on His Lips

**Her Blood on His Lips**

* * *

What followed were sensations and sounds.

Saedra felt pain, intense pain. The pain was so strong that she'd completely lose consciousness, only to regain it once again with _more_ pain. She heard sounds: a man's deep sobs, a girl's hot tears, a baby's weak cry. She felt someone grasping her hand, weeping into her chest. Voices yelled. Sharp pain in her arms...her abdomen...her head. Dull aching in her legs alternating with strong bursts of _agonizing_ throbbing...

She drifted in and out, too weak to move or open her eyes. Time meant nothing. Sometimes someone would spoon soup and liquids into her mouth, and she'd instinctively swallow it. But she didn't want the food. She couldn't taste it.

She heard voices that she vaguely recognized but couldn't understand. A deep, manly voice made her feel safe…and guilty, as if she'd forgotten to do something. A young accented voice begged her to wake up. If only she had the strength!

A soft, soothing voice of a woman made Saedra want to cry, reminding her of happier times. She heard another voice, a younger one, which made her want to be brave. Another heavily accented voice made her long for family, though she couldn't picture them...it was too hard...she didn't have the strength...

And then there was a voice which pierced through her confusion, drawing her out of her shock-induced numbness. It was soft, tender, and wretchedly miserable. It was a man's voice; not as deep as the first, but more meaningful to her.

"Sae," he whispered in her ear, his breath tickling it. "It's me. Please. _Please,_ Sae. Come back to me."

The person was caressing her cold hand. Did she have the strength to open her eyes? Oh, how she wanted to!

"Sae," he choked. "Please. I'm going insane. I keep remembering the last time we were alone—what I said-"

It cost her dearly, but her eyes slowly opened and focused on him. Edmund was the only one in the room in which she lay. His eyes were bloodshot, his face scruffy. He hadn't been taking proper care of himself.

"It's okay," she whispered weakly, hurting at his lamentable appearance. She loathed seeing him suffer. She had to reassure him that everything was okay, before she-

"It's not! I was so jealous and terribly, _abhorrently_ rude…"

A small smile graced her pale green lips. "And I don't blame you. The thought of you and Rahai together...evokes similar passions in me...even if...I try to deny it...to myself."

His voice became harder. "But it was inexcusable, Sae. You were doing the right thing, moving on. I was an ass."

"Are you trying to make...me angry with you?" she joked feebly. "There's nothing you could do...that would...change my affection for you, Edmund."

Affection radiated through her heavily-lidded eyes. She turned her face away as a wave of pain in her abdomen hit her; she didn't want him to see her suffer.

But of course, he saw. His face screwed up at the pitiful sight before him, and he buried his face in her shoulder.

She had so many questions. Why was she so sick? What happened to her? Where was her baby? She felt so light...and weak...What was Edmund doing here? He was supposed to be in Narnia.

But she didn't ask any of those things. She could feel her body giving up. Her time was limited. Words were precious. The pain was too much for one person to handle, and her strength continued to wane.

"Edmund," she rasped. "I can tell…I don't have...much time-"

His head snapped up. "No, no!" he shook his head violently. "I'll get the nurses. We'll try another drop of the cordial-" He moved to leave, but-

"No!" she gasped, weakly trying not to let go of his hand.

She broke into coughing at the strain on her lungs. She felt something wet drip onto her upper lip.

He sat down again, his face a picture of abject misery as he watched her hack.

Saedra was scared of dying, terrified of her weak, vulnerable state. She had the strong urge to cry with fear, but she was too weak for even that. Her eyes couldn't form the tears.

"Ed, I'm fading. I want you to know...that I love you. I'm sorry things…ended up…this way."

Tears slipped from the corners of the King's eyes. He leaned in earnestly. "You know that I love you, Saedra. Always have."

"Listen," she breathed, closing her eyes. She gathered her strength and said, "I cherish every moment we've had together...whether you were reminding me how to shoot...or...whether you were helping me at Lasaraleen's party...and I was drunk...and I told you...that I loved you..."

"You remember that?"

"Oh, yes," she faintly said, a ghost of a smile crossing her lips. Telling him these things was taking time from her body, but it was more than worth it.

"Even though I didn't know...I was falling for you...Peter may have dazzled me...created the romance that I wanted...the ideal man...but you-I can't explain it. You were there...you became part of me...you…in some sense…_are_ me. I can't go anywhere without you...in my mind...Peter has my heart, but you...have captured my soul."

He squeezed her hand until it almost hurt. "If only we could go back-if only Aslan gave us another chance! By the Mane, trying to forget you has been the most futile thing I've ever done, Sae. Every kiss I give to Rahai, I think of you."

Saedra smiled tenderly without speaking. She soaked in his loving words like a sponge.

He continued. "I've been such a damn fool! Rahai doesn't deserve an idiot like me."

"She...she loves you, Ed. Always has. Treat her well...for me...?"

He brought her limp hand to his lips and kissed it twice fiercely. "I will."

"Ed?" she said, darkness starting to close in. She had to concentrate to keep focusing on his tormented eyes.

"Yes?"

"Kiss me," she said, barely audibly.

He stared into her eyes as he unhesitatingly leaned over. He cupped her chin in his hand and kissed her slowly. His tears splashed her face. She was too weak to respond, but he understood. He just kept kissing, gently, moving to her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, her chin.

As he kissed her, she began to numb. Pain was leaving her. She could no longer feel the tender kisses he was giving her, trying to make up for a lifetime of kisses they would never have.

Saedra was floating, looking down on a dark-haired man crouched next to a bed on which lay a woman with a pale, green-tinted face. He was kissing her so tenderly, so wretchedly, crying harder as he did so. She wanted to help that man, but didn't know how.

A bandage was wrapped around the woman's forehead. On the table next to the bed were blood-soaked rags on a tray. So much blood.

Suddenly, the man stopped kissing the still form, studying the woman disbelievingly. He spoke, a question. He tried to wake her up, even shaking her shoulders violently. Her eyes wouldn't open. He stared at her. Shock and despair were on his face.

Blood had dripped from her nose. It was smeared from the kisses now. Some was on his lips, a testament to the morbidity of the scene.

At last he gave a heart-wrenching howl of agony, burying his face in her lifeless chest.

She floated up, higher. She could see a light-haired man standing over a cradle. A golden crown glistened on his head. He was looking down into the cradle, looking at something. What was it? He heard the other man's cries and ran to the other room. His eyes were vacant. He opened the door and strode forward next to the other man, staring down at the dead woman. He looked at the dark-haired man, perhaps seeking someone to mourn with.

The blonde man's expression melted from one of despair to one of shock. He stood as if he had been run through with a sword. He spoke, his mouth forming harsh words, but Saedra couldn't hear it. She suspected she would forget even the sight of this scene; she felt fluid, as if things could pass through her without being retained.

The dark-haired man looked horrified at the other man's words, and his hand flew to his mouth. His mouth was red with the woman's blood.

The other man fled the room, striding furiously though the castle. Saedra wondered what he would do. Why was he so angry?

Higher. Three women and a girl were holding each other in a study. The girl was being held by the light-haired woman: the girl weeping, the young woman staring into space valiantly. The other two women were wiping silent tears from their eyes, looking out at the ocean. They didn't yet know the woman on the bed was dead. They soon would.

As she floated above the castle, she saw the blonde man riding a horse as if a monster was chasing him, far into the forest away from the castle. Escaping reality.

She continued, higher and farther. She was over the ocean, above the clouds.

Higher and farther. Higher and farther.

* * *

Saedra was lying on her side on something soft. She opened her eyes slowly and pushed herself onto her elbows. She found that she had been lounging on long green grass in a forest-a very still forest. The trees were high, turning the sunlight into a pleasant green haze. The forest was very quiet, except for the distant sound of a brook.

Saedra slowly stood up, wondering how she happened upon this place. She felt healthy and strong; it felt strange to be well, but she couldn't recall _why_ it was strange.

Where was she? She felt like she should be alarmed, but she wasn't. The tranquility of the forest was palpable, seeping into every pore of her body. She felt more whole than she'd ever felt before. What should she do now? Rest? Explore? She felt as free as a bird, as if she was capable of anything.

The sound of soft footsteps slowly became audible, and she turned in the direction of the sound. A young man was approaching. He wore a navy tunic and leggings. His hair was black, and he had startling blue eyes and a very handsome face. She felt that she should know him, but she couldn't recall where she met him. She curiously waited until he was before her.

He bowed low and reverently said: "Welcome, Mother."

"Uh…?" she said confusedly, looking around to see if he was addressing someone behind her. "Are you talking to me, sir?" She addressed him in such a way because it was obvious that this man was of noble blood.

His eyebrows rose into an amused expression. "I see no one else around, so yes, Mother."

"I think you're a little confused," she said carefully. "I am little more than a couple years old than you. There's no way I could be your mother." He looked like he was about Lucy's age, barely out of his teen years.

And speaking of Lucy, where was she? Where was the rest of her family? Had Saedra gotten lost in the forests of Narnia? No, this forest was too silent.

"Age matters little here. We are all the same age. Should you study your reflection in a brook, you would see that you are my age, not a day older nor a day younger."

"Who is 'we all'?" she asked. "There are more people here?"

"Of course!"

"Where are they? This place is as silent as death."

The man chuckled, as if she had made a funny joke. "I have been told you have a quick wit. The rest are further up and further in."

She chose to ignore the last reply, for she saw she could not get this young man to speak sense. "Who told you I have a quick wit?"

"Lady Gilda. Since I never got the chance to know you or Father, it is up to those who knew you to tell me about you both. I've learned so much about you, I feel as if I know you personally. But of course, now I do!"

"Wha-? You're telling me that Gilda's here?" Saedra exclaimed, looking around eagerly. She had so much to talk to her about!

"Yes, and some other people who you knew."

"Like who?"

"Grandfather Dane and Grandmother Lalevis, and Great-grandmother Sadris."

"Where are they?" This was too good to be true.

"Further in."

"Can I see them?"

"That is for Aslan to decide," he said. "I'm here to bring you to him."

Saedra froze. "Aslan?"

"He wishes to speak with you."

The pieces were falling into place. "If Aslan's here…and all of my deceased family are here…then are you telling me that I'm…I'm _dead?"_

The man simply watched her as she struggled with the idea.

Saedra felt her body, memories that had been shut out by the tranquility of the forest flooding her mind. She instinctively grabbed at her chest—her necklace was missing. She clutched her flat stomach in horror.

"What happened to my baby?"

He paused, and then said softly. "It's as I said, Mother. _I _am your son. I'm Willem, the boy you carried and named."

Her face paled. "Then...you're dead too."

He nodded. "Yes. _I _am. The other isn't."

"What happened?" she asked, choosing again to ignore his strange comments. "How long have you been here?"

He tilted his head, looking puzzled. "How long? I do not know what you mean by that."

"_How_ _long_…how many minutes, days, hours you've been here…how much _time_ have you been here?" she said in a patronizing tone of voice.

If Dane and the rest were really here, she didn't have patience for games. But then again, he was nothing more than a baby to her, no matter what he looked like. She had no option but to be patient with him.

"I…I don't know. I've always been here. I do not understand what 'time' means. But Aslan may know."

"Then take me to him, please."

Willem led her through the silent forest at a leisurely pace. It seemed the young man was perfectly content and didn't have a care in the world. Did staying here…wherever "here" was…affect the mind? If so, Saedra hoped that her mind would start to be affected in such a way. All she could think about was what a _fool _she was, allowing herself and her baby to _die. _She also thought of Edmund, dying to see him and tell him that she was all right. The look on his face as she died was all she could see.

A blue light shone through the trees ahead, and grew as they neared it. Saedra was curious what it could be. Some sort of strange fire?

When they emerged from the trees, she saw that it was not a fire, but the sky. They had come upon an open, grassy area. The area abruptly ended several meters ahead, and all there was was a cloudless blue sky ahead.

In front of the end of the field was a great, humongous Lion. He was sitting watchfully, obviously knowing the exact moment that Willem and Saedra would come. He stared into Saedra's eyes unblinkingly, and she felt rather intimidated.

They walked forward, and Willem bowed low before the Lion. Saedra curtseyed, unable to break her eye contact with him. She felt as if he was reading her mind, peering into her soul. He saw every sin she'd committed, every devious thought in her mind.

"Thank you, son of Adam," Aslan said, nodding in Willem's direction but looking at Saedra still. "Daughter, we have much to discuss."

Saedra nodded, thoroughly scared and half-afraid he would swallow her with one gulp. She'd seen him before once in Anvard, but that had been in a crowd of people, and he hadn't been staring her down then. Now, before him with only her baby-in-man's-body-son with her, she was terrified.

"As you have surmised, you are now in the doorway to my country," he said. "But now is not your time to enter."

"Why not, Sir?" she asked, fearing that he would turn her away because of her misdeeds.

"Your task is not completed. There is much yet for you to do, Daughter."

"I have a task?" she asked. "What is it, Sir?"

"To live."

She faltered. "Pardon me... Aslan...but what do you mean by that?"

"Sometimes one cannot be told too much about their task, for in the knowing, the task cannot be completed."

"Then why am I here?" she asked. "If I need to live, why did you allow me to die?"

"Dying was a part of living."

Since she wasn't getting anywhere with this subject of conversation, she switched tactics. "May I see my father and mother now?"

"No, Daughter, they are too far in for you to go. If you venture that far, you cannot be sent back to the land of the living."

"So you're going to send me back?"

The Great Lion nodded.

"Sir, if I'm going back, there's things I need to ask them. I don't know how I died, but I do know that someone is out to get me, and they may have answers that will help."

"What knowledge do you seek?" Aslan asked.

"I need to know whether my father Dane knew about my mother's affair. I need to know if anyone else knew about it. I need to know who killed my mother. I need to know who killed Gilda, and why-"

"Willem?" Aslan spoke.

"Yes, Aslan?" Willem replied, stepping forward.

"Answer her questions."

"How can he know?" Saedra asked. "He's only a baby!"

"Time doesn't matter here, Mother," Willem reminded, demonstrating amazing patience. "I am no baby. I have lived a full life, and I have the answers you seek. As I said, I have spoken with Grand-"

"I understand, I understand," she said. "Then tell me: who killed my mother?"

"Grandmother killed herself," Willem said sadly. "It is as it appeared. Lord Reine, who was Grandfather Dane's best friend and never thought Grandmother was good enough for him, knew about the affair and threatened that if she didn't kill herself, he would expose you and her. She wanted to protect your future, and to protect Grandfather Dane from the truth."

Saedra felt strange talking to her son, who just recently hadn't even been born, about affairs and suicides. She was too hungry for information to let that stop her, however.

"But why didn't she just run away? Sadris would have taken her back in. She loved her!"

"Yes, but think about the dangers of fleeing back to Tashbaan with a newborn baby. How would she cross the desert? How would she have food? She _might _have been able to survive, but think about the shame she would have felt, returning home in such a state. The marriage was very high-profile, and her fleeing Archenland would have caused an international incident. The Tisroc would have sent her back north to save face."

"Then did my father know about the affair?" she pressed further, not able to believe her luck in being able to get answers so easily. Maybe this was why Aslan allowed her to die!

"Yes," Willem replied.

"And he raised me anyway," she said, marveling at what a good, honorable man Dane was.

"Yes."

"Did he know that my mother killed herself?" she pressed.

"Yes. At first he didn't want to believe it, but the evidence was obvious."

"And this is why Father would never talk about her with me…" Saedra said, putting the pieces together in her mind. "It was a painful memory."

"Yes," Willem said.

"And do my mother and father-I mean, Dane-speak to each other anymore?" she asked curiously.

"Things are different here than what I have been told about the land of the living, Mother. Such things are forgotten."

"Forgotten?" she said disbelievingly. "Then how did they tell you all these things?"

"Perhaps forgotten is the wrong word," Willem said, looking to Aslan and then back to Saedra. "I can't explain it. You'll know when you go farther in someday."

"Any other questions, Daughter of Eve?" Aslan asked. "Time is short."

"I thought time didn't matter," she said, feeling much braver around the Lion.

A low growl told her that Aslan didn't appreciate her comment.

"Who killed Gilda?" she hastily asked Willem.

"I don't know," he said sadly. "Gilda doesn't know. We suspect it was someone working for Lord Reine, but your guess is as good as ours."

"I suppose you could tell me, Aslan…?" Saedra asked hopefully.

"Your son speaks wisely," Aslan said. "Now it is time to go."

"I have some more questions, Sir!" she said urgently. "I want to know how I died! I want to know what will happen to Harden. I want to know…"

Her voice trailed off when she realized she was no longer on the grassy field, but air. She saw that where the field ended was actually a gargantuan cliff, going down miles upon miles. She was floating on air, and Aslan and Willem were already shrinking into the distance.

Willem's mouth was moving, but she couldn't hear what he was saying.

"Willem!" she cried, distressed about leaving her son. "Come with me!" When he didn't respond, she yelled, "Willem!"

Either they couldn't hear her or they ignored her plea, but neither Aslan nor Willem moved to join her. She floated in what must have been a current of air, but she couldn't feel it. In fact, she couldn't feel anything. She looked down at her body-and found that she had no body! She was a spirit being sent back.

_If this isn't the strangest thing I've ever done, I don't know what is! _Saedra thought in bewilderment, and then realized that this must have been the way she had arrived at the forest. She was a spirit travelling between the land of the living and the land of the dead, going back to her old body.

_Bother! _she thought. _I wish I could have kept that nice, new body. _

She travelled for what seemed like ages, passing over clouds, then an ocean, then some islands, then some more ocean, and then—land. She saw the Winding Arrow River coming close (though one could wonder how she would be able to see at all if she didn't have a body), and saw the fortress of Harden resting on the cliffs next to it. She floated down, through the roof, through the higher rooms, down, lower and lower.

She slowly lost consciousness the closer she came to her body. Darkness came over her, and she wondered whether something had gone wrong.

Suddenly, searing _pain _overcame her, and she knew she had been joined with her old body at last.

She was overwhelmed with feelings of suffocation. Her empty lungs cried for air. She opened and closed her mouth, trying to inhale.

After a claustrophobic eternity, blessed air flooded her lungs, and she gulped it in hungrily. She could almost ignore the searing pain that seemed to come from every nerve on her body. She was so grateful to be back.

She was alive once more.


	38. Learning How to Live

**Learning How to Live**

* * *

The sound of a woman shrieking filled the air.

"Su? What is it? What are you doing?"

"She—She—"

"She _what, _Susan? Tal, do you know what's wrong?"

"No, Aunt Lu—"

"_There_! She did it again!"

"Did what?" cried several voices at once.

"She's breathing!"

Silence.

"That's not funny, Susan. Of all people to be making jokes at a time like this…"

"I'm not joking, Lucy! Look at her!"

"By the Mane…Talia, do you see?"

"I see, I see! Mum's breathing! Look, Aunt Rahai!"

"Aslan be praised! Cousin, can you hear me?"

"Mum, can you hear us? Open your eyes!"

"Sae, please…"

"Look, the green tint has left her face!"

"So it has, Rahai! Do you think the poison is gone?"

"I've no clue. I'll go fetch the nurse!"

"Mum, _please. _Open your eyes!"

"Look, her eyes are opening!"

"She _is _alive! Where's Peter? He must know!"

"He went out riding, I think, as soon as he found out she was gone-"

"Then have a servant get him before he does anything stupid! And tell them to get Ed. Aslan knows where he's gone off to!"

"Look! Her eyes are fluttering!"

It seemed as if Saedra's eyes were made of lead. She so badly wanted to open them, to assure her frantic family that she was there. But she felt so utterly weak, and her body _ached. _

Slowly, the room came into focus. Talia, Susan, and Lucy were practically on top of her, anxiously sitting on the bed. All of their eyes were red from crying, and Talia's face was miserably blotched. When Saedra's eyes opened, their expressions melted into wide smiles, and they smothered her with hugs.

"Aslan be praised!"

"This is a miracle!"

"Mum!"

Saedra parted her dry lips. "What happened…?"

"You were poisoned," Susan said seriously. "And you fainted from it as you were climbing the stairs in the main hall."

"How-?"

"We don't know who did it," Talia answered quickly. "Father locked down the castle immediately, and everyone was questioned to death-Father was quite ferocious-but everyone seemed innocent and he had to let them go."

"Do you remember anything?" Lucy asked.

"…No," Saedra croaked.

"It had to have been close to the time you left the dance hall. Otherwise you would have fainted with people around."

"I…I did have a drink before I left…I can't remember who it was…that gave it to me…"

All three women looked disappointed.

"I'm sorry…" Saedra said.

"Don't _you _be sorry!" Susan chastised.

Just then, Rahai rushed back in, Mrs. Quigley right behind her.

"My Lady!" Mrs. Quigley cried. "It's a miracle! We thought you were gone for sure!"

"I _was_ gone," Saedra replied weakly. "How did you lot get here?"

"We came down as soon as we got word about your fall. You've been in and out of consciousness for weeks," Susan explained. "All of us are here, except for Per, who's watching Cair Paravel for us."

"And look!" Mrs. Quigley continued. "Your face is a normal shade again! It's as if you were never poisoned."

Saedra winced as she tried to move her limbs. "Not quite."

Lucy reached into her pocket and produced a little bottle. "Do you think the cordial will work this time? If the poison's gone…"

"It…didn't work before?" Saedra asked. "But I thought it could cure anything…"

"Yes, we thought so too," Lucy replied. "Every time we tried to give you some, the wound would start to heal. We would see the green begin to retreat, but as soon as the drop spread, the green would close in again. It was as if the poison was fighting it!"

Saedra faintly recalled sporadic bursts of pain, and wondered if that had been what had caused them.

"I'm sure it will work now, though!" Lucy said, coming over.

She first went to Saedra's right leg, which was bandaged. She pulled away the wrappings, and applied a drop. Instantly, the leg stopped hurting.

"What happened to my leg?" Saedra asked.

"You broke it when you fell," Talia explained.

Lucy went over the rest of Saedra's body, giving drops where she had injuries. When she was done, Saedra's pain completely disappeared. She still felt weak, but she had no more wounds and could move easily.

"Thank you so much, Lu," Saedra said gratefully.

Her body was healed, but her mind was muddled and confused about the ramifications of coming back to life. Images and ideas floated through her mind: Edmund kissing her tenderly as she died, the sound of Peter's voice as he yelled and demanded to know what had happened, Edmund's deep, passionate eyes, the sound of Peter's gut-wrenching sobs-

Susan helped prop Saedra's back up with some pillows so she could sit up some.

"My Lady," Mrs. Quigley said carefully. "There's something else."

"What is it?" Saedra tried to clear her mind and stay in the present.

"Obviously, there were complications…" Mrs. Quigley said. "With the babies…when they were born…it looks like you might not be able to have children again."

No one else in the room looked surprised; they must have already known. Somehow, Saedra wasn't surprised either-but it still hurt her to hear it more than she would have ever expected it to.

"I see," Saedra said, swallowing. She thought for a moment, and then her eyes widened. She nearly choked on her next question. "Wait—you said babies."

Talia nodded. "Twins."

Saedra's jaw dropped, and tears sprung to her eyes. "Twins…"

Susan nodded at Mrs. Quigley, and Mrs. Quigley left the room.

"One survived, Saedra," Susan said, putting her hand on Saedra's leg comfortingly. "The other didn't."

"Willem…" Saedra said, thinking of the baby that hadn't lived.

"What was that?" Rahai asked, and the others stared at Saedra strangely.

"I met Willem…when I was dead. I met him and Aslan. He's a man now, wherever he is. He's so handsome and smart…"

She blinked away tears. It was comforting to know that Willem was safe and happy with Aslan, but all the same, she'd rather be able to hold him in her arms. She wanted to raise him, to see him grow up. To see Peter play with him, and teach him how to sword-fight and ride a horse.

"What did Aslan say to you, Mum?"

"He said that Gilda was there with him." She looked at Rahai. "As is Grandmother. He also told me things about my parents."

She didn't want to go into detail, for she hadn't told anyone besides Peter about Abrastan being her father. Besides, her heritage was the least of her concerns.

Mrs. Quigley re-entered the room, carrying a bundle of blankets. She walked to the bed carefully, then leaned over so Saedra could see inside.

"My Lady, meet Princess Caulitha, Crown Princess of Narnia."

Saedra's breath was caught in her throat. She stared into the tiny, pale face of a sleeping baby girl. She had hardly any hair, but the few wisps that she did have were blonde. For some reason, Saedra wanted to cry even more at the sight of her. She held out her arms, and Mrs. Quigley handed the baby to her.

Tears seeped out from Saedra's eyes as she looked down at the baby. Her baby.

"She's so light!" Saedra gasped, her face screwing up with emotion.

"She's incredibly weak," Mrs. Quigley said caringly. "We had to bleed her to get the Marrina Felcar out. There were times when we didn't think she'd make it either. But she's a tough little thing. I fear there may be some bad effects of the poison in her future. There was no way we could get all of it out without killing her."

Saedra stared down at the baby for what seemed like ages. She couldn't comprehend that this was her _daughter_. This person had come _out_ of her!

Movement in the corner of her eye distracted her. She looked up and saw that Edmund was standing in the doorway. Saedra froze; in her mind's eye, all she could see was Edmund's face right before he had kissed her. Now, he was staring at her in shock.

"It took you long enough, Ed!" Susan laughed.

Edmund ignored Susan. He didn't break his gaze with Saedra. "It's impossible…"

"I think that's Su's line, Ed," Lucy grinned.

Edmund ignored the comment. He just stared at Saedra; she was the last sight he had ever expected to see, and he looked deeply startled.

"Aren't you going to greet Sae, my husband?" Rahai encouraged, smiling benevolently.

Edmund walked forward and grasped Saedra's hand. He swallowed, and said simply, "You're back."

Saedra looked up at him. "Yes, I'm back."

Just then, everyone turned. Talan was standing in the doorway. He gave a quick bow.

"Where's Peter?" Lucy asked.

"The High King says he'll check in on Lady Saedra in a little bit," Talan said.

"Then we should give them some privacy, shall we?" Lucy asked, gesturing that the rest should leave.

Edmund lowered Saedra's hand, gave it a little squeeze, and then released it out of sight.

"I'd better take Princess Caulitha with me. It's time for her to eat," Mrs. Quigley said, and explained, "My Lady, we have a nursemaid feeding her."

Saedra nodded, understanding that there had been no way for her to feed the baby before. Now it was probably too late. She reluctantly handed Caulitha over, and then everyone except Talia left the room. Edmund had looked back once, but his face was unreadable.

"May I stay, Mum?" Talia asked hesitantly.

"Of course!" Saedra said, and patted the bed next to her.

Talia came back and climbed on next to her. Then, all of a sudden, Talia buried her face in Saedra's shoulder and burst into tears.

Saedra was shocked. She put her arms around her and asked, "Tal? What's wrong?"

It was a long time before Talia had controlled her crying enough to be able to speak. "I—I was so scared, Mum!"

"Understandably," Saedra murmured, running her hand through Talia's hair.

"I didn't want to be alone!"

"You wouldn't be alone!" Saedra protested. "Father will always be here for you!"

"I knew that, but I was still scared. You were the one that picked me, not him."

"He picked you when he married me!" Saedra reminded. "You and me, we're a package."

"I know Father loves me, but…you're the only one in the world who chose me. You're the only one who actually decided that you _wanted _me. Even my birth parents didn't want me, but you…you hardly knew me and you took me in. And if you left…" She buried her face again. "And now he has another new daughter…"

Saedra saw then how much she meant to Talia. All throughout Talia's early childhood, adults had seen her as a nuisance, or a means to an end. She had been sold into slavery, and had nearly gone into training to be a courtesan. All the adults in her life had been cruel or indifferent to her, and Saedra had changed that. Saedra had never realized the great thing she had done when she had taken Talia in. She hadn't thought about how much this had really changed the girl's life, bringing her from slave to Princess.

And even though Talia knew that Peter loved her dearly, she would always have this abiding, subconscious fear that he would abandon her. It seemed that the only one in the world who Talia hadn't been afraid of losing was Saedra—and she nearly _had_ lost her.

This insight floored Saedra. She didn't know what to say to her.

"Tal," she said into the teenager's dark hair. "I'll do my damnedest never to leave you. But if I ever do, I promise that your father will love you just the same way he does now. Your father is one of the best men in the world. He loves you for you, and would never shove you aside for another daughter. You're his just as much as Caulitha is."

"Just don't ever leave me," she begged.

Saedra rested her head on top of Talia's and said, "I'll do my best, Tal. I'll do my best."

* * *

Peter didn't come to see Saedra that day. Nor the next.

Saedra's days were filled with lying in bed, chatting with Susan about the gossip in Narnia, talking with Lucy about what was happening in Narnia's forests, and helping Talia with her lessons. She saw Edmund often, but it was always with someone around, so there was no way for them to discuss their situation. She would try to figure out what Edmund was thinking, but his dark eyes were disturbingly unreadable whenever he was around. He was pulling back, and no matter what Saedra told herself, it hurt. It was like a knife through her re-energized heart. She wanted Edmund to love her, to talk to her the same way he had when her life was draining out of her. But he was choosing not to.

And there again was the issue of her husband, Peter. The husband who had mysteriously disappeared, who wouldn't visit her.

Saedra knew he had a lot to deal with. He had lost his wife, and his only son, and then all of a sudden his wife had returned. Surely it was a shock, but couldn't he come to see her _once? _Couldn't they mourn the loss of their child together? Couldn't they celebrate that one had survived?

_Survived. _Survived what?

_Caulitha survived my stubbornness, _Saedra thought with a sinking heart at the end of the third day that Peter still had not come to see her. _Caulitha survived my curiosity. She survived my belief that I'm invincible, that nothing could happen to me or the babies. _

Saedra stared up at the darkening canopy over her bed. A newly lit fire flickered in the fireplace across the room.

_I thought I learned that lesson in Narrowhaven. I should have known better than to leave Narnia! I should have erred on the side of caution, and none of this would have happened! Willem would be alive and Caulitha would be healthy! I would never have died! Peter and I would be able to have more children, and now we'll never have that chance!_

And in that moment, Saedra knew why Peter hadn't come to see her: he blamed her for Willem's death. And even worse: he was right to blame her. She blamed herself.

Self-loathing filled every pore of her being. She didn't know why she hadn't seen it before.

_I've learned nothing. I've been through so much, seen so much, experienced so much, and yet I'm just a fool. A fool who put her babies in danger. It's as bad as if I killed them myself! I knew Harden was dangerous after what happened to Gilda..._

Once these realizations had entered her mind, they refused to leave-and Saedra made no effort to try to force them to. She allowed the guilt to eat at her day and night. She wasn't being a martyr; she truly deserved to be ashamed, humiliated, ridiculed. She was the Princess who thought she was invincible, and who had killed her own child through her bravado.

It was why Peter couldn't bring himself to look at her, for the sight of her was a reminder of the child she had killed. She felt ashamed for wanting Edmund to speak with her, for she didn't deserve him! She was a fool, and he was much too good for a fool.

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks, Saedra regained her strength faster than she should have. The cordial worked wonders, and soon she was able to go down to dinner with the rest of her family. Saedra postponed that event as long as possible, making excuses saying she was too tired, but finally she couldn't put it off any longer without looking suspicious.

"Come on, Sae, do hurry up!" Lucy smiled. "Your hair looks fine!"

Saedra was seated in front of her old vanity, wasting as much time as she could. Going down to dinner meant only one thing to her: seeing Peter.

Saedra slowly examined herself. Her face had, unfortunately, regained its usual healthy complexion. She had lost a lot of weight during her illness, but now it was coming back, and her cheeks were filling out. Only her eyes gave away her disposition. They were dark and lacked the proud, mischievous spark they had once held. They were flat, and even when she smiled, the smile didn't reach her eyes.

Saedra stood up, and Lucy came over and linked arms with her. It was an unnecessary gesture on Lucy's part, for Saedra could easily do laps around the rooms, but it was touching all the same. It was too bad Saedra was too disgusting to be deserving of such a kind act.

When Saedra entered the dining room, she was shocked-and mortified-to find that the people had stood up and applauded, as if it was a great thing she had done in getting better. She shook her head in a manner that must have seemed modest, and motioned for them all to stop. They obeyed after a bit, and Saedra took her seat beside Peter. He looked her in the eyes for the briefest of moments (making Saedra wonder if the look had been imagined), and then looked at her forehead and kissed it.

"Welcome, my dear," he said, staring at her eyebrows.

"Thank you, my husband," she replied, and they sat down.

This small interchange reminded her vaguely of the times when she and Peter had once had to put on the front of being in love right after their wedding. It was morbidly ironic how they had been so in love before her death...and now they were back to faking affection.

Saedra looked across the table as small talk ensued, and found that she was seated directly across from Edmund. Thankfully, he _would_ allow himself to look at her, but it was the look of an acquaintance or family member, not a lover. The looks were brief and meaningless.

Dinner passed in this way, and Saedra found that she wished she hadn't come down. She participated when directly asked a question, but the conversation flowed around her, happy and oblivious to the self-loathing state she had fallen into.

Saedra excused herself at the earliest moment possible, citing tiredness as always. She went upstairs (accompanied by Narnian guards who were now following all of the nobles about the castle), and hesitated in front of the room that had been turned into the nursery for Caulitha.

Seeing the baby was painful. The baby was so young, but reminded her so much of Peter. The baby had his eyes, bright blue. Looking at her was like looking at Peter. And yet, she wanted to see the baby so much...

Mrs. Quigley came from the other direction. "Coming to see the Princess, my Lady?" she smiled. "She misses her mummy."

Saedra cocked her eyebrow, looking amused despite herself. "She can barely stay awake, and you're telling me she misses me?"

"Oh, yes, your Ladyship!" she grinned. "Her daddy is around all the time, but her mummy, not so much. She misses her."

"Peter comes to see her?"

"All the time!" Mrs. Quigley opened the door. "Come in, come in!"

Peter came to see the baby-all the time-but never once came to see Saedra. Somehow, it felt right. Just.

* * *

The mail flowed in from all corners of the world, congratulating the High King and the Princess on the birth of the heir to the throne of Narnia. One day, Peter and Saedra were seated at the dining room table, going through the stacks that had been forwarded from Cair Paravel. Rahai was helping, as was Saedra's assistant Tina. Peter sat at one end of the table, Rahai across from him. Saedra and Tina were farther down, going through a different stack.

Saedra was reading a sweet letter from Lady Eraka of Terebinthia, when she heard a low voice. Peter and Rahai occasionally spoke farther down about the mail, but there was something in the tone that made Saedra incline her head slightly to look at them, her face shielded by her hair.

"What is that look about, brother?" Rahai asked concernedly.

Peter was staring out into space, looking like his mind was miles away. In his limp hand was a forgotten letter. His face had a hint of anguish. He hadn't heard Rahai speak, so she reached across the table and put her hand on his to get his attention.

"Peter?" she asked softly.

His eyes were glazed..

"Are you all right?" Rahai's accented voice was kind.

"Have you ever acted too rashly?" Peter asked, not looking at her. "Ever made a decision that seemed right at the time, based on the information you had, but you later think that it might have been the wrong thing to do?"

Rahai blinked. "I'm sure we all have, brother."

He continued. "Something that changed the course of your life forever? The course of the lives of the people around you?"

"I should hope not," Rahai smiled, but the smile uneasy. "Of what are you referring to?"

Peter focused on her. He shook his head. "It's nothing."

Saedra slowly turned her head back to the letter she had been reading. A tear silently trickled down her face, and she was surprised to feel it, even though she knew what Peter was referring to. He regretted their marriage.

She glanced up to see if Tina had seen; she hadn't. She was engrossed with reading a letter.

A while later, Peter excused himself to check on the baby.

Rahai stretched, and said, "I'm going to get something to drink. Would either of you like something?"

"Thank you, your Highness!" Tina said. "But I'm quite content."

"I'd like some water, if that's okay," Saedra smiled. The silent tears had dried a while before.

Rahai nodded, smiled, and left the room. Saedra instantly stood up and walked around the table. She went to the piles of papers Peter and Rahai had been reading, and filed through the read piles. Tina watched her interestedly.

It took a couple of moments, but then Saedra spotted it-the letter Peter had been holding earlier. It was smaller than the other fancier parchments, and had neat, beautiful writing. It was obviously from a woman's hand.

_To the Esteemed High King Peter and his Lovely Wife Lady Saedra_:

_From the Crown Princess of Telmar, Priyah, Daughter of King Meridian and Lady Bria, _

_My royal parents have already sent their regards for the birth of the Princess Caulitha, but I feel it incumbent upon myself to extend my own personal congratulations. The circumstances surrounding the birth are such that I also must offer my warmest condolences. The loss of a loved one is always tragic, as I know well. The pain does not easily go away, but I know that, if Princess Saedra is anything like her honorable husband, the pain of loss will subside quite easily. I wish for the best for all in your family, and may you have a blessed Christmas this year._

Saedra turned the paper over to see if there was anything written on the back, for it was an unusually short note. There wasn't more.

Saedra wracked her brain, trying to think of where she heard the name Priyah before. If she could remember, it may explain why Peter had expressed such melancholy feelings to Rahai, of all people. Peter must have known her, especially with the unorthodox style of the letter-it was almost catty.

Saedra put the note down, and turned to Tina. She knew someone who would have the answers she sought.

"Where's Queen Susan?"


	39. Teardrops in the Sand

**Teardrops in the Sand**

* * *

Much to Saedra's disappointment, Susan had little information about Priyah, the Princess of Telmar who had written what had seemed to be a strange message to Peter. Susan simply shrugged when Saedra, expecting an interesting amount of information, found her. Susan seemed surprised that Saedra didn't know who Priyah was, but simply suggested Saedra talk to Peter about it. It was a little strange, but it satisfied Saedra that there was not a juicy story like she'd been subconsciously hoping for. It was certainly not intriguing enough to approach Peter about, for she was still wrought with guilt and felt unworthy to speak to him.

Peter's words to Rahai haunted her day and night.

_"Ever made a decision that seemed right at the time, based on the information you had, but you later think that it might have been the wrong thing to do?"_

There was no question in Saedra's mind that Peter had meant marrying her. What else could it be? Saedra had put him through so much: refusing to share a room with him, demanding that she retain her title of Duchess, and hiding her pregnancy from him so she could go to Tashbaan-though he had never questioned her on that point. Losing Willem had been the last straw, and now Peter saw that he had chosen a wife very poorly.

When Peter brought up the subject of their plans for the winter one dinner, Saedra could not have asked for a more perfect way to solve her and Peter's problems.

"Dearest, we've put this off, but we must decide what we are doing for the winter," Peter said to Saedra as he cut into his meat. "The frost is already here, so we must leave hastily if we are to go back to Cair Paravel this winter."

"Peridan's urging us to come back, and the sooner, the better," Susan said. "The work has really piled up with you lot being gone all summer. Besides, if Per and I are to wed this spring, there are many plans to be made."

Saedra saw a window of opportunity. If Peter went up North, she could stay behind…

Saedra inclined her head, looking concerned. "Yes, yes, you must go soon. My only concern is that I have much to do here, since I was gone from here for almost a year before we came up. I didn't get nearly as much work done as I hoped to do before I became ill, and I was hoping to catch up over the winter months."

She glanced at Talia to see her daughter's reaction to her words, and she saw mixed expressions on the teenager's face. She knew that Talia was very fond of Narnia, but if they stayed in Harden, it was almost certain that they would spend Christmas in Anvard for the Winter Festival…and that meant seeing Corin, Aravis, and Cor.

"Couldn't you do your work over correspondence?" Lucy suggested. "Christmas wouldn't be half as fun if you stayed here!"

"And what about the baby?" Rahai added. "Would she stay here or go North with Peter?"

Saedra was stumped. She knew Peter loved the baby dearly, but she didn't want to be separated from Caulitha either.

"I…don't know. I'm not sure if she's even well enough to travel. And it's colder in Narnia than here…"

"I think the climate up north may be good for her!" Susan said. "Don't you, Ed?"

Edmund had been silent during this whole interchange, watching with veiled interest. When Susan addressed him, he blinked.

"Oh! Yes—of course!"

Susan was satisfied. "See, Sae?"

Saedra was feeling trapped. She couldn't go to Cair Paravel! That meant a whole winter cooped up in the palace for most of the time, sharing a room with a husband who wished they had never married. She was too guilty for Willem's death to look him in the eye most of the time, and a whole winter of awkwardness with him—not to mention her confusion and hurt about how Edmund was avoiding her—would be a living hell.

To Saedra's pleasant...and unpleasant at the same time...surprise, Peter came to her rescue. He spoke carefully.

"Susan, if Saedra really does have work to do, we shouldn't pressure her into putting it off. We all understand the duty we have to our subjects. Saedra's a wise woman. If she has reservations about leaving Harden, we should trust her."

Susan blinked. "But, Peter—surely you don't want to be separated from her all winter! And there's no way you can stay here…_you_ have much work waiting for you—"

"Su," Edmund said in a low voice. "This is Peter and Saedra's business. If they're okay with it, I think we all should be too."

Susan stared at her younger brother, and for a moment it looked like she had a retort to make, but all she did was shake her head and lean against the back of her seat.

She sighed. "What about Tal?"

"Talia can stay with me," Saedra answered quickly.

She didn't want Talia to be put in a position to choose between her parents, but she had no doubt that Talia would be more comfortable with her mother after the conversation they had had about Talia's insecurities.

"Father can visit for Christmas," Talia added hopefully, "can't you, Father?"

"I'll do my best," Peter promised, bestowing a smile on his step-daughter.

"And the baby?"

Saedra hesitated, her mouth slightly open. She looked to Peter.

Peter looked pained, but he said, "Caulitha should stay with Saedra. She's weak, and Saedra was right: I don't think travelling would be good for her. Her nursemaid is here too. I'll leave a company of guards here to keep Saedra, Talia, and Caulitha safe, and I can come down by horseback to visit when I can."

Saedra was glad that Peter was agreeing with her, but it only confirmed what she had already suspected—he didn't want to be around her any more than she wanted to be around him.

* * *

As the Narnians packed their things and made final arrangements for departure, Saedra found the castle stifling. The castle was usually quiet, peaceful, even a bit eerie, but now every room was crawling with soldiers, servants, and her family going about their business. There was a rumor that a blizzard was coming through Archenland, and they were rushed to be gone before it hit.

Wanting to get away from the madness, Saedra threw on her cloak and went out of the castle, through the deserted marketplace, and through the only gate to the castle, which was on the north-western side. She went out onto the rocky, sloping hill that led down to the forest. The sky was white and bleak, and the air chilly.

She headed towards the left, towards the Winding Arrow River. The river was very low, and there were sand islands in the delta where the river met the sea. Saedra had visions of her younger self hopping from sand island to sand island, pretending she was an adventurer on a great quest. She would talk to herself, imagining she had companions with her, making up for the lack of playmates.

Suddenly, Saedra started running down the hill towards the river, running around boulders and jumping over smaller rocks. Within seconds she was breathing hard from the exertion, because she had not exercised in such a way since her illness, but she kept running. The cold air stung her throat, but it was a pain that she appreciated. For a moment, she was a seven-year-old girl, carefree and innocent, running around Harden.

When she reached the river's edge, she didn't stop. She kept going, leaping onto the nearest sand bar. She finally stopped when she was in the middle of the wide delta. She stared out that the sea, the wind billowing her dress and cloak, and making her nose red and runny. The waves were choppy, with white wave crests crashing against the base of the cliff on which rested the ancient castle. The cliff loomed high to her left, and beyond it, part of the Narnian fleet, looking imposing and noble.

_The world is so much bigger than my little problems, _Saedra thought, getting caught up in the moment. Her troubles seemed so far away.

A voice floated on the wind. "Saedra!"

Saedra turned to the left and saw a woman coming down the slope. At first Saedra wasn't sure who it was because she was so small, but then she noticed the length of the black hair and the tan face. It was Rahai.

Saedra didn't move from her spot. She didn't want her moment of innocence to end. She just watched her cousin as she walked down the steep slope, her hair blowing wildly in the wind.

When Rahai reached the river's edge, she put her hands on her hips.

"Are you really going to make me come out there?" she hollered, smiling.

Saedra raised her eyebrows. Rahai was sounding an awful lot like Susan these days. "What if I said yes?" she called back.

Rahai threw her hands up, and Saedra's mouth almost curled into a smile as she watched the Tarkheena hop from spot to spot, skirts hiked up. Rahai had started wearing Narnian clothing since her wedding to Edmund, though her style was a bit more colorful and she tended to wear more jewelry.

Rahai finally reached her, huffing from the exertion.

"My feet are wet!" she exclaimed in her melodious accent. "Anyway, I came out here because I'm supposed to tell you that we're leaving soon."

"You didn't have to come out here to tell me that! You could've yelled it to me."

Rahai smiled. "I know. I felt like coming out here. I'm trying to be more spontaneous like you and Susan." She looked around. "This _is _nice. I feel like we're the only people in the world!"

Rahai looked out over the sea, but Saedra watched her cousin. Rahai was so innocent, trusting. Would she be so friendly to Saedra if she had known how Edmund had kissed her as she died? Would Rahai smile in such a way if she knew how much Edmund loved Saedra, and that he still pined for his first love even after their wedding?

"What was Aslan like?" Rahai asked, shattering Saedra's thoughts.

"Huge," Saedra replied. "Scary. I was terrified. I saw him in Anvard, but he seemed so much more real in that other place."

Rahai nodded, still staring off into the East.

Saedra continued. "I was afraid he would devour me. I felt like every sin was laid bare before him. It was horrible at first."

Rahai laughed. "Sins? What sins? You're perfect—or as perfect as a person can be!"

"Perfect? Hardly!"

"Oh please, Sae; you're compassionate, strong, funny, pretty, smart. You put others' needs before your own—you're even willing to be apart from your husband so you can be a good leader here at Harden! If that isn't perfect, I don't know what is!"

* * *

That early evening, Peter, Susan, Edmund, Lucy, and Rahai left Harden. The goodbyes were heartfelt among the women, and dull between Saedra and the brothers. Peter kissed the air next to her hair, but it was obvious his heart wasn't in it. Edmund patted her on the back and tried to look pleasant, but he just looked like he had a headache. Peter gave Talia a big hug, and then held Caulitha a long time, whispering to her and kissing her. He finally handed the baby back over to the maid Tina when it was time to go.

Saedra, holding a whimpering Caulitha, and Talia watched from Saedra's office as most of the Narnian fleet let down their sails and slowly headed north. It was similar to how they had said goodbye to their family members when they were dropped off in Harden only two months before, but Peter wasn't staying with them this time. This time it was more final. Winter was setting in, separating the family.

The days grew shorter, but time grew longer. The castle felt dull and lifeless. Talia continued her studies, and Caulitha slowly improved health-wise. She began to follow Saedra and Talia's face with her eyes when they were near, and towards Christmas she started making noises besides the pathetic whimpering cries she used to make.

Saedra was starting to bond with the baby, as was Talia. If Talia was bored, she would hold Caulitha and talk to her, showing her things in the castle. The baby actually smiled occasionally, which would make the whole castle buzz with excitement-

"Did you hear that the Baby Princess smiled today?"

"Did she? That poor child. She's terribly slow at developing. I wonder if she'll be a little off when she'd older…"

Saedra started to practice sword-fighting again, and this time Talia was the trainer. Talia would read books on fighting in her spare time, and now she knew more than Saedra did. If it was nice out, they would go out into the snow to practice.

"Let's have a break, Tal," Saedra huffed one day during practice, hobbling over to a log and sitting on it gingerly. "I have a stitch in my side."

Talia lowered her practice sword and followed her to the log. "That may be enough for today, Mum. Your face is red."

Saedra waved her hand. "No, no, I just need a break. I want to get as much practice as I can before Christmas since we won't be able to practice as much when Father comes."

After a moment, Talia asked, "Mum, I've been wondering something."

"What is it?"

"Why did you want to be to be good at fighting so much? I mean, I know Aunt Lucy and Aunt Susan are good, but it's not something that many Ladies at Anvard care about much."

Saedra studied her daughter, trying to decide how she should approach the subject. Talia waited for the answer, her thoughtful dark eyes interested.

"Well, you know I grew up like a boy in a lot of respects. My father always wanted a boy, so he would teach me to ride horses and to spar."

Talia nodded.

"And it's useful, such as when Rabadash was attacking Anvard and I was able to help. But two summers ago, when you were staying with Aravis in Anvard, I had an incident in Narrowhaven that taught me that I should never, ever be unprepared to defend myself."

"What happened?" Talia asked seriously.

"Edmund and I went undercover to find out information about the Governor of Narrowhaven to see if he was loyal to Narnia or not. We went to a pub, which in hindsight was probably a foolish thing to do. I was mistaken for a courtesan, and grabbed by a man."

Talia's eyes widened.

"I barely escaped being violated. I tried to fight him off, but he was too strong. Edmund came just in time."

Neither said anything for a moment. Talia was processing this information, and Saedra was reminiscing. She was pleased to find that, however painful a memory it was, she could speak about it freely.

Saedra continued. "And ever since then, I've been determined that I—and you, and someday Caulitha—will be able and ready to fight should you ever be in any danger of any kind. That's why I'm pushing myself so hard, and it's why I made sure you were trained."

Talia and Saedra stared out into the white forest for a moment in silence. Talia suddenly patted Saedra's shoulder and hopped up. "Then shall we begin again, Mum?"

* * *

Snow fell, and the days dragged by. Saedra found herself scrounging around her father's library, desperate for something new to read. She came across old notebooks of her father's, which were not at all interesting like her mother's had been, since they were mostly financial records from when Saedra was a baby. After flipping through select notebooks in that bunch, she abandoned that area all together and searched for some more interesting books to occupy her.

As Saedra was searching, Talia entered the study.

"Mum?"

"Mm?" Saedra replied, lips pursed, turning to her daughter.

Talia was holding a letter, looking disappointed. "Father can't come for Christmas."

Saedra climbed down the ladder she had been on. "Did he say why?"

"He says he's still trying to catch up with work, but he sends his love."

Saedra nodded, turning away from Talia. She was disappointed too. Even an awkward Christmas with her estranged husband with the distant hope of reconciliation would be better than the monotone, silent, grey days at Harden.

The funny thing was, the silence of Harden had never bothered Saedra until now. Maybe it was because she wasn't writing letters directly to Peter or Edmund, which made her more disconnected with the family, or maybe it was because Saedra had taken for granted how lonely a relatively empty castle could be. Either way, she was desperate for something—anything—to divert her.

When Saedra didn't say anything, Talia continued hesitantly. "Mum…does this mean we can go to Anvard?"

Saedra shook her head, running her finger over the books in the bookshelf absentmindedly. "Mrs. Quigley said Caulitha might not be able to handle travelling in this cold. And there's no safe way to transport her. We can't use a wagon because the snow's too deep, and I can't risk riding a horse with her—if she fell or was dropped…"

"Then—Mum, could _I_ go to Anvard?"

Saedra studied her daughter. "By yourself?"

"I've gotten ahead in my schoolwork," she said hopefully. "And I haven't seen my friends since my birthday, and that was cut short because of-" She faltered here, looking uncertain.

"Because of me," Saedra finished.

Talia looked frightened. "I didn't mean to sound like I'm blaming you, Mother-"

"I understand, Tal," Saedra nodded. "It's all right." She paused. "Yes, you can go. But you're taking a detachment of guards with you."

Talia clapped her hands, hopping on the balls of her feet. "Really? You'll let me go alone?"

Saedra's lips curled into a small smile. "Yes. And we'll have to make you some new dresses."

It would stretch their budget a bit, because wintertime was always tighter because of the lack of income from the market, but Saedra would simply refrain from getting new dresses for herself. There was no one to impress this year, anyway.

Talia screeched with excitement—startling Saedra immensely—and threw her arms around her mother. "You're the best, Mum!"

* * *

If possible, the castle was duller with the absence of Talia. It was just Saedra, Caulitha, and the servants that Christmas. Saedra found herself wandering aimlessly through the forests, pining for the old days when she used to be close to both Peter and Edmund. Her life had changed so much, had deteriorated so rapidly…and yet she felt ungrateful to be so—ungrateful.

_I _am _a Princess of Narnia…the wife of High King Peter! I shouldn't be miserable like this! _

But yet, she couldn't shake the loneliness, the sadness that followed her wherever she went.

When Talia returned, gushing about her exploits with Corin, Aravis, and Cor, Saedra was deeply relieved. She had been worried for her safety travelling to and from Anvard, even with the Narnian guard. If someone had tried to kill Saedra, it was possible that they might make an attempt on Talia's life. But no such event had occurred.

* * *

Spring came slowly. The months passed, and it seemed like everyone in the castle was itching to be outdoors. Even Caulitha became antsier, whining and crying a lot. When the snow _finally_ melted after a late snowstorm, it meant one thing: returning to Narnia for Susan's wedding with Peridan.

It was with mixed feelings—the foremost of which hope and excitement that she and Peter could reconcile—that Saedra packed up their belongings and travelled up to Narnia aboard the last boats of the Navy that Peter had left for them. Lord Darin had, as a favor to Saedra, agreed to act as Regent in Harden during their visit north, since Saedra wasn't sure how long they would be gone. Caulitha's nursemaid and Saedra's assistant Tina accompanied Saedra and her daughters.

When they arrived in Narnia, they saw that Narnia's trees and flowers were already blooming.

"How is this possible, my Lady?" Tina asked with wonder. She had never been to Narnia. "The flowers are blooming here, and we have barely left winter in Harden!"

Saedra just shook her head. "Magic, I suppose. Aslan must be doing this for Queen Susan. After her long betrothal, she deserves the most beautiful wedding in the world."

As usual, Peter was there to meet them as they approached Cair Paravel's gates. With him were Lucy and a host of other nobles of Narnia and royalty from other countries who were merely curious to see the arrival of the High King's wife. Besides that, the Crown Princess Caulitha was arriving in Narnia for the first time, and all were eager to see her.

Saedra looked into Peter's face as she dismounted from the horse that she had ridden up on from the steep climb from the dock. She hadn't seen her husband in almost half a year, with hardly any contact over mail. It was strange—she felt he was a stranger, and yet she felt she had known him so well, and surely he had to be the same. Surely the long winter had rekindled his affections for her, and things could go back to normal: they could have a happy relationship again.

Peter stared back at her, his eyes revealing nothing. He bowed gracefully, and took her hand to kiss it. "Welcome, my Princess," he said.

"Thank you, your Majesty," she curtsied, searching his face for a clue whether he was still angry with her.

Lucy stepped forward and embraced Saedra as Talia and Peter enthusiastically hugged. When the sisters-in-law pulled back, they studied each other.

"It's wonderful to see you so healthy, Sae," Lucy smiled. "Narnia wouldn't be the same without you."

"It's kind of you to say that, Lu," Saedra replied, feeling unworthy.

"It's true! Now come; everyone else is inside socializing with our foreign guests. Already half the Archenlander court has arrived, along with some Telmarines and Islanders."

Saedra glanced toward Talia and Caulitha to make sure they were looked after. Talia was excitedly conversing with Peter, and Caulitha was being oohed and aahed by all, and under the watch of Peter and Talia who were nearby, as well as the Narnian guards and the nursemaid. She wasn't needed, and so she entered the castle.

When they entered the great hall, Saedra could see that a great reception was being held. Lucy led her to Susan, who was the glowing center of attention. Peridan, the proud groom, never looked better in his life as he stood at his wife-to-be's side. When Susan spotted Saedra, she did what she always did, suffocating her brother's wife in a crushing hug, going on and on about this and that. Peridan greeted Saedra as well, and Susan exclaimed, "Edmund, brother, do come here!"

Edmund, who had been talking to a Satyr, came over, smiling. "What is it sister?"

"Have you taken leave of your senses?" Susan laughed. "Look who is here!"

Edmund followed Susan's gaze, and froze when he saw Saedra. He quickly recovered and bowed. "My sister."

Saedra curtsied in kind. "Brother."

"Oh, don't be so stiff, Ed!" Susan chided with amusement. "Do act like you know her and give her a kiss!"

Edmund locked eyes with Saedra, and leaned in to brush a kiss against her cheek. The brushing of his face against hers immobilized her. His scent filled her nose, giving her visions of their closeness at her deathbed.

"Do excuse me, sisters," Edmund said. "I have more guests to greet."

After a good time of catching up with Susan and Peridan (during which Saedra's thoughts were still on a certain King), Lucy and Saedra went to find Rahai. After perusing the room and stopping to chat with those who wished to speak with either the Queen or the Princess, Saedra spotted her.

"Lu, I see Rahai," Saedra said. "She's over there with that other Lady by the wine bowl."

"Which wine bowl?" Lucy laughed. "I'm too short to see as well as you do. Lead me!"

The women made their way through the crowd, finally reaching Saedra's cousin. Rahai spotted Saedra, saying something to the short, strawberry-blonde woman next to her and gesturing that she should follow her. Rahai and the woman met them half-way.

After all the excited greetings and comments on how well Saedra appeared, Rahai said, "Cousin, I don't believe you've met Princess Priyah of Telmar. We were just talking about how excited she was to be in Narnia again, as she wasn't able to be here for you and Peter's wedding."

"Oh?" Saedra asked politely, recognizing the name of the woman she had asked Susan about last fall. "I'm sorry we haven't been able to meet before today, Princess."

"I feel the same way," the woman smiled. "Unfortunately, I was ill at the time of your wedding to the High King, and my doctors advised me against travelling."

She had hazel eyes and a bright smile. She was perhaps a couple of years older than Saedra, but had the cheery disposition of someone younger.

"Well, I am glad that you recuperated and are able to be here today," Saedra smiled.

"I would say the same thing to you, oh Princess," Priyah nodded. "I have heard of the trials you have faced of late. It is a miracle that you have survived. Marrina Felcar is a poison than no one in the past has ever survived."

The woman's pale cheeks reddened; perhaps she felt it was impolite to speak of such dark things at a party.

"You're quite right," Saedra reassured her. "I have been most fortunate."

"Ah, look!" Lucy said. "The dancing is starting-and here comes Peter!"

As tradition, Peter had come to ask his wife to dance. After a quick bow to Princess Priyah and a few comments with Lucy, he led Saedra to the dance floor. He might as well have been a brick wall for all of the emotion he showed. The dancing commenced-Peter and Saedra, Susan and Peridan, Edmund and Rahai, Lucy and Tumnus, and after a minute, other royalty joined in. Peter had carefully avoided Saedra's gaze, and she was unsure whether she had the right to start a conversation.

Just as she was finally getting the courage to speak, reminding herself that she _was _his wife and therefore should have the right to speak no matter what, the song ended, and Peter pulled back. He kissed her hand, and finally locked eyes with her as he lifted his head. But as soon as he did so, he looked away in such a manner that he seemed disgusted-with her or with himself, she couldn't tell.

* * *

Feeling tired and lonely from the journey, Saedra left the party early. After stopping by Caulitha's nursery to check up on her (Saedra had had to ask a guard where the nursery was located), she went to her bedroom. Two minotaurs were guarding each side of the door. They bowed and opened the door for her. After thanking them, she entered. She looked around the familiar room. Perhaps it had been the year since she had been in here, but...something was off.

She slowly circled the room, but then she caught it: none of Peter's belongings, dressers, or wardrobes were in there. She went to her own closet to see if her belongings that she had left were still there, and they were. So, Peter hadn't moved both of their things out. With a sinking heart, she left the room, crossed the bathroom that connected her bedroom with Peter's old one, and entered his. Sure enough, all of his belongings were in there.

The significance of this arrangement could not have been more obvious: just as Saedra had refused to share a room with him at the beginning of their marriage, so was Peter now making that declaration. Had it hurt Peter as much back then as it did to her now?

Just then, the door opened. Peter entered the room, and stopped short at the sight of her.

Saedra blushed, feeling as if she had been intruding on his personal space. "I was just...taking in the new-uh-arrangements."

Pause.

She couldn't bear the silence. "They're-"

"Can you blame me?" he cut her off in a low voice.

The question stabbed Saedra in the heart. It was the final nail in the coffin that was her hope that maybe Peter didn't despise her for the death of Willem. A small sob escaped just before she whispered torturously, "No."

Her shallow breaths were the only sound that could be heard.

"Peter, I know what you think of me-"

His smoldering eyes bore into hers.

She continued. "I know what I've done. Considering everything, it's the most charitable punishment you could have given me."

He studied her, his face hard. The mention of her crimes had stirred up pent-up anger that had lain dormant the whole winter. "I'm glad we're in agreement." He strode over to the dresser and opened it, fishing for his sleeping garments. She had been dismissed.

Saedra swallowed, unable to comprehend that the conversation was over. "This is it, then?"

"What other way should it be? You were the one who chose this fate, not I." His voice was dripping with fury.

She didn't move from her spot. He stopped in front of the mirror and made to remove his crown. He caught her expression in the reflection. He whirled around furiously.

"_Don't_ give me that look!"

"What look?"

"This is not like our fights of the past. We will _not_ be reconciled within a few days!"

"Can we not talk, Peter? Can you never forgive me? It has already been half a year. Has not the time eased your hatred of me?"

"There are some sins that time cannot eradicate. I swear to you, Saedra, that were I not a more benevolent man, I would have annulled this marriage months ago! Because I did love you once, and for the peace of our family, I'm willing to spare you the humiliation. But I _never_ wish to speak to you again. Were it not for my strong desire to be with my daughters, I would order you to return to Harden as soon as the wedding is over. As it is, I must bear your presence as best I can."

Saedra felt like she was collapsing. Sobs threatened to attack her, but she gathered whatever dignity she could. She held her head high, curtsied, and said, "I completely understand, your Majesty. It will be as you say."

She restrained herself from running as she left his chambers. She maintained a straight face as she marched past the guards in the hallway, but as soon as she was out of sight, she broke into a run. She ran, tears silently streaming down her face, out of the castle and to the dark beach below. After all of the festivities, the castle was quiet from a sweet wine-induced sleep. She threw herself onto the white sand, and burst into anguished tears. The crashing of the waves against the rocks from the high tide was the only sound to mask her miserable gasps of agony.

She was worthless. She had been rejected by her husband. For all intents and purposes, her marriage was over. Her stubbornness of all these years had _finally_ done her in, gotten her in trouble too deep to get out of...and now she had no man who loved her. Peter would surely keep Talia and Caulitha at the palace, and Saedra would return to Harden solo. She was doomed to be utterly alone. Edmund could never bring himself to betray his wife.

The waves seemed especially powerful this night. One particularly large wave splashed her, soaking her from the knees down. She barely even noticed it. She curled into the fetal position, half her face in the sand. She shivered with misery, and from the cold water and cool night.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

An alarmed voice asked, "Are you all right, dear Lady?

Saedra sat up instantly, her back to the stranger. Mortified to be seen this way, she shook her head. Her long, sand-filled hair shielded her face.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" the male voice pressed. "Please, come with me into the castle so I may assist you."

She recognized that voice-

Saedra jumped to her feet, facing the man, and backed up.

Edmund's concerned face melted into one of absolute shock. "Sae-"

She shook her head and covered her mouth with her hands to suppress the sobs that wanted to erupt at the sight of him. Did Aslan send him to torture her?

Horrified pity crossed his face. "What's wrong, Sae? Tell me!"

"I can't! I can't talk-to you-You ignored me, pretending nothing-"

He didn't respond, but watched her helplessly.

"It's over, Ed. It's over. Peter and I-he wants nothing to do with me, ever! I have nothing-It's over." Tears streamed down her face, but she turned away. "Go ahead," she said, her voice dripping with bitterness, "leave me before you begin your brother act! You're so very experienced at it after all these years. I don't want your false pity when you know you're-"

Suddenly, strong arms were gripping her upper-arms and turning her around. Before she knew what was happening, his mouth was pressed against hers, kissing passionately. Shocked out of her tears, she kissed him back, intertwining her fingers in his dark hair. His hands pressed her body against his, running along her curves. Time, duty was lost. It was only them: pathetic, wet, sandy Saedra and her Edmund.

It too much-it was so intense. They suddenly broke apart, breathing hard, shaking. Edmund cupped her face in his hands.

Saedra saw the battle within him, but she chose to ignore it. She abandoned all duty to Rahai, overcome with her own need for the touch of a man and her long-held desire for Edmund.

"Don't leave me, Edmund," she begged, her whispered voice quaking. "Please."

"I need to think about this," he said, swallowing.

She feared how his ponderings might seem different in the light of day, when passion was not clouding his mind. She was being despicably selfish and knew she would hate herself for it one day, but she _needed _him.

"Trust me, my love," he said, brushing his lips against hers. "Trust me. I want this more than you do."

And then he was gone from her, rushing up to the castle. It didn't matter. A faint hope had been lit in Saedra's heart that maybe, just maybe things would get better.

Little did she know that she had started down a path that would irreparably mar her life forever.


	40. A Night for Lovers

**A Night for Lovers**

* * *

It was no longer a question of _if_ it would happen. It was _when_. And _how_.

The days leading up to Susan and Peridan's nuptials were hazy days. Saedra did her duties: she socialized with ambassadors, laughed with Lucy, gossiped with Rahai, tended to Caulitha, watched Talia spar with Corin, and did all the things she should have. She even pretended all was well with Peter to avoid starting nasty rumors. But it wasn't _real. _

The only thing that was real to her was _him. _What she remembered as she went to bed was not what she had done that day, but it was the one glance that Edmund had sent her across the dance floor at the party that night; never mind that he had been dancing with Rahai at that very moment. It was the simmering look that he had shot her across his goblet at dinner, just as he had been bringing it to his lips. Those were the moments she was living for. He was the one she was living for. Everything else was superfluous. And if she had allowed herself to delve deeper into the meaning of what she was instigating, she would have hated herself. However, she ignored the significance of what was happening as far as it concerned her family, Narnia, and international relations with Archenland.

Susan's wedding turned out to be the wedding to end all weddings. It made Peter and Saedra's celebration positively infantile. It wasn't the number of guests, though the number was huge; it was the care in which it was put together. Susan was known for her parties, and this was the ultimate Queen Susan party. It started with the outdoor ceremony, which began just after the sun set. Susan held it in the large clearing that they had practiced archery in years before when Rabadash was visiting. It was bordered by tall blooming trees on all sides. The darkening air was sweet with spring, and fireflies and petals floated in it. Lanterns lit the clearing, giving it a romantic, cheery glow.

In the center of the clearing was where Oreius performed the rites. The seated guests circled the centaur and the bride and groom on all sides. Peter, Saedra, Talia, and Caulitha sat on the north side; Edmund and Rahai sat on the west side; and Lucy and Tumnus sat on the eastern side. The foreign nobles filled in the gaps, uncomfortable with sitting on the grass at first, but soon becoming enchanted with the magic of Narnia that was so palpable. The rest of the clearing was packed with Narnians, and the ones who couldn't get close enough would climb trees on the edges to see (if they had the capability, of course).

Throughout the whole service, Saedra and Edmund's eyes would meet. Because of the distance, it was hard to tell what secrets he hid behind his dark eyes, but it didn't matter to her now. _It_ was imminent.

After the beautiful, heart-felt ceremony that left half the audience in tears, the real party began. The food and drinks were brought out, the musicians began playing, and the bonfire was made even bigger. Saedra drank her wine happily, sitting with Lucy and Tumnus instead of dancing. It was Lucy's idea to wait, guaranteeing that it was best to save their energy at the beginning, and that the real dancing started at midnight.

Talia and her Archenlander friends were already frolicking, as teenagers who quickly feel the effects of wine do. Caulitha had already been put to bed by the nursemaid, so Saedra was free to enjoy herself. Peter was talking with a group of nobles across the lawn, but she chose to shove all thoughts of him from her mind. Such ponderings were useless; someone else was on her mind.

"I've emptied my glass," Saedra said, her stomach happily warm with the wine. "Would anyone like me to refill theirs while I'm up?"

Tumnus and Lucy gratefully handed her theirs, and Saedra went off. She stopped along the way to greet Animals she knew, such as the aging Beavers and the Bears. She paused to watch the dancing: Edmund was twirling Rahai under his arm, and as he did so, his eyes shot up to look at her. The manner in which his eyes instantly found her gave her goose-bumps: he had been watching her and had known the very spot she was occupying.

When she finally made her way back to Lucy and the Faun, she paused when she heard her name.

"I don't think she's altered that much," Tumnus was saying. "She's still the Saedra we all know, deep down. Did you see how she was laughing with the Bears?"

"But still, dear Tumnus..." Lucy countered. "When she arrived from Archenland, there was no smile on her face for the longest time. It looked like she hadn't smiled all winter. And when she does smile, it never reaches her eyes—it's as if she doesn't really mean it in her heart."

"What do you expect, beloved Queen? She has lost a child. Even if she seemed the same as before, she and Peter will never be the same again. Observe how they barely look at each other."

"Oh, it does worry me so! I do wish things could go back to the way they were!"

"Do not romanticize the past, Lucy. Things were not as wonderful as we would like to remember."

The twenty-two year old Queen sighed. "You're right, as always-"

Saedra approached them, smiling and pretending not to have heard their conversation at all. "Here we go! Sorry I was delayed!"

* * *

Countless cups of wine later, as Lucy had promised, the real festivities began. Everyone went around the bonfire, arranging themselves in circles around it. Lucy and Tumnus rose, inviting Saedra to join. She promised that as soon as she finished her final glass she would join them. She backed up to the edge of the forest to watch with the foreign nobles who did not yet know the dance.

In the inner circle was Susan, Peridan, Talia, Corin, Aravis, Cor, Lucy, Tumnus, Edmund, and Rahai. There were numerous rings around theirs, getting larger the farther away from the fire. The music began a lively Narnian jig, and the rings began their steps, revolving in opposite directions around the fire.

"'Tis beautiful!" a woman commented near Saedra. "One never tires of a Narnian bonfire dance."

Saedra smiled, and looked to see that the woman was Princess Priyah of Telmar. "Have you been to one before, Princess?"

"Oh, yes," she smiled. "Years ago. Our ambassador came to meet the Four, and I accompanied him."

"I also accompanied an ambassador to meet the Four—the ambassador also happened to be my father. But that was almost fourteen years ago."

"Mine was more recent than that," Priyah said, staring at the dancers. "I was already grown."

"Then you are fortunate. I was still in my early adolescence, and made quite the spectacle of myself."

"Oh, age is of no importance to whether someone makes a fool of themselves..."

Saedra did not know how to respond to that. As far as she could remember, she had never heard of Priyah, so it was certainly not _that _big of a spectacle that Priyah could have made of herself. Perhaps Priyah was speaking of someone else.

Priyah broke out of her spell and looked at Saedra. "My Princess, why are you not dancing? Surely you know the steps."

"I have little desire to dance at the moment."

"I completely understand, your Highness. When one has suffered such a loss as yours, it is hard to be happy again. The pain never goes away, does it?"

Saedra shook her head. Priyah may have been referring to the loss of Willem, but Saedra was also unwillingly thinking of Peter.

Priyah continued. "And you feel as if you would do anything in the world to be happy again, but it seems impossible."

Saedra looked at her in surprise. "That's exactly how I feel! You're quite astute, Princess."

"I know the pain of loss. I've lost one whom I loved dearly," she replied. "One never fully recovers."

Saedra felt a sort of companionship with the petite woman. They watched the dance for a time. A while later, Peter exited the crowd, coming over.

"My Princess, may I have the next dance?"

Saedra's heart leapt. Could it be...? She made to accept, but before she could-

Priyah smiled and put her hand in Peter's. "You may, your Majesty."

It was as Peter led Priyah to the bonfire that Saedra realized that Peter had _not _intended to ask Saedra to dance in the least...and probably would never do so of his own will again.

* * *

The night continued, but Saedra simply watched; the reminder of Peter's rejection of her had dampened her spirits, and Edmund had been out of sight for hours. Saedra had been so _sure _that Edmund was hers, but she was beginning to wonder if she had misinterpreted his glances. Maybe he had thought about it, and decided that it was foolishness to be with Saedra! Perhaps, this very instant, he and Rahai had escaped the party like other couples were, relishing the warm night, the darkness, and the magical mood...

The joy and was pulsating through the air, swirling around the Dryads, the Fauns, the Naiads...but the joy was not for her. It was for those who already were happy, for those who wanted to celebrate. But how could Saedra celebrate? She watched from the darkness below a tree, arms wrapped around herself. No one noticed her, for she was still and hidden from the lanterns. The revelry continued, but no one cared that the High King's wife wasn't participating. It was humbling to see how she wasn't missed.

Susan's favorite song began, a tragic love song about a Lord of Narnia who had fought all Hades to win the love of a Lady, but in the end had found that the woman had died in his absence. It seemed to flow through Saedra, reflecting desire, love, hatred, despair. It seemed to mirror her own feelings this evening.

Out of nowhere, she felt warm breath tingle her ear.

"Dance with me."

She turned her head to find herself eye-to-eye with Edmund. She said nothing, but he intertwined his hand with hers, and slowly led her away from the festivities. Her heart pounded and her hand sweated as they walked through the forest, coming across smaller fires where other Narnians were celebrating the marriage of Queen Susan the Gentle. No one paid heed to the couple; tonight was a night for lovers, for couples to stow away unnoticed into the forest. As they went, the music did not dim, but was as loud as it had been at the main party. A magic carried the haunting love song across the forests.

Edmund led her out onto the white sand of the beach. In the distance to the south, Cair Paravel stood proudly above the waves that reflected the bright twinkling stars.

They began to dance, staring into each other's eyes. They didn't speak, but slowly moved to the rhythm, turning, basking in each other's presence. Saedra's breath was shallow; it was as if she was suffocating, but yet felt more alive than she had ever before. They were acutely aware of the touching of their bare hands as they danced, separating, coming together again, rubbing. Such a common-place touch, yet so electrifying.

Susan's song faded into another jollier one, but the lovers did not continue dancing. They stopped, feet covered in cool sand, basking in the air separating them. It was tantalizing as they stared at each other, both knowing what was going to happen, but waiting on the precipice.

Slowly their mouths met in a delicious kiss that began slowly but, like the other night on the beach, became more than they could handle. Ages that felt like seconds, and seconds felt like ages. Edmund pulled away, grabbing her hand again. They walked determinedly northward along the beach; Saedra did not know where they were going, but she knew what they would do. A smile graced her face, and she giggled and started running ahead, pulling him. He laughed and ran to meet her.

They were nearing a stretch of high sand dunes, and instead of going around, they went up and over. The wind whipped at their faces as they got higher, but then suddenly they were plunging down the other side, laughing as they were separated as they slid and rolled down to the bottom. Up the next dune they went, until they could no longer see the forest nor the sea; they were surrounded by dunes on all sides. They slid down once more, and Edmund caught her around the waist before she could start up the next one.

They studied each other, their smiles fading as they caught their breath. It was their final chance to turn back...but both had made their decision long before they came here. Before either knew what was happening, they were kissing, touching, falling onto the sand, struggling to free themselves of the prison of clothing.

The music continued all night, romantic, pulsating, haunting. It was the perfect soundtrack to their lovemaking.

Were it not for the sounds of the music in the distance, Saedra and Edmund could have been certain that they were the only two beings alive. They were consumed with each other, hardly daring to believe what was happening was actually _happening_. After years of desire—even subconscious, unwanted lust—they had done it...were now doing it again...

Neither had said a comprehensible word all night; no professions of love came, no promises for the future were uttered in the moments of rest, when they would catch their breath, bodies limp with exhaustion. They didn't even say each other's names, for all that needed to be said had been said time after time before, in looks, in words, and now, finally, in deed.

* * *

No rest came until morning, when the sun was just beginning to light up the sky above them. They lay entangled in each other's arms, fatigued but unable to sleep. The music had finally faded; all of Narnia was asleep, but for them.

Saedra made to sit up, and he allowed her to disentangle herself from him. She leaned over and planted a kiss on his lips, and stood up. She glanced about for her dress, wondering where he had thrown it hours before. She spotted it, and walked unabashedly over to where it was. Edmund's clothing was similarly scattered about the sides of the dunes surrounding them.

Before slipping the dress over her head, she glanced back at him. He was studying her wordlessly, lying there with only stray sand for covering. She stood there in the dim light with naught on but the necklace from Father Christmas around her neck.

When clothed, she slipped away to the forests, back to where she knew the party would be fast asleep. The celebrators were strewn out on the lawn, lying on thick animal-skin blankets. Many were snoring loudly, some due to habit and others due to the drinks. Susan and Peridan were, expectedly, nowhere to be seen, as were other couples. Near the dying fire she saw Peter snoring softly, his crown on crookedly. She carefully lay down near him, but far enough away so as not to intrude on his space.

She stared up at the orange sky, too spent to even think as she fell fast asleep.

* * *

Saedra could hardly bring herself to look at Rahai that day. Looking at Peter had been a challenge ever since their last conversation in private, so little had changed in that regard...but looking at her cousin—the wife of the man that she had spent a relentless, passionate, decadent night with—in the eye...it would have tried the fortitude of the strongest woman.

Yet that very evening, when Edmund brushed past Saedra in the hallway and whispered, "The tower. Midnight," the thought did not enter Saedra's mind not to meet her lover a second time. She knew of which tower he spoke: the one she had accidentally come upon while trying to escape Peter after a fight. The tower had been a refuge for Edmund against Saedra, and now it would be a refuge to conceal their illicit love.

They met that night, and every night they could. They explored each other's bodies, spoke in urgent whispers, and exchanged deep looks across the dinner table. To the world, nothing was different. Edmund and Saedra were brother and sister. Nothing was off; the trust that bound the family together was the trust that made it so easy for Edmund and Saedra to conduct a treacherous affair before their very eyes. The couple had always been friendly, so when a meaningful look was passed, it was assumed to be simply platonic, nothing more.

Rahai was the most blinded of all. It never entered her mind that when Edmund would go off for long walks at night that he was meeting anyone else, least of all her dear cousin. It was simply that he was King and had a lot on his mind; he was still almost as attentive to her as always. He had never been overly affectionate, but had been a steady husband nonetheless. Rahai had more than enough love for the both of them.

The time passed quickly for Saedra. Each day was a waiting time for when night would fall, for when she could sneak up to the tower, where she would wait for Edmund or find him already there to sweep her into his arms at her arrival. The lovers were guilty from the start: Saedra could see it plainly in Edmund's eyes as clearly as he could see it in hers, but it was like an addiction; they could not _not _see each other. It sustained them, gave them a reason to get through the day. They hardly spoke by day but for whispered arrangements in passing to designate a time to meet.

They grew accustomed to the guilt that trailed them wherever they went; it was their reality, and they were resigned to it. But if they were careful, their guilt would never be known; Saedra was unable to have children: Mrs. Quigley had assured her of that. The only way they could be found out was if they slipped.

* * *

The guests departed after the countless celebrations for Susan's wedding, and spring slowly became summer. Family outings became more and more common as the weather warmed.

One sunny afternoon, the whole family went out for a picnic to enjoy the warmest day yet of the year. They rode their horses for a couple of hours, then rested in a small clearing between some trees. They set up blankets and had a small, lively brunch. Animals and Dwarves from the forest came out and ate with them as well, supplying more food.

Susan could be seen throwing her head back with laughter at one of Peridan's jokes. Lucy would spontaneously get up and start a game of tag with a family of young Goats. Talia would grab Peter's hand and say, "Father, I'm bored sitting here. Let's spar!" Peter would grin with the special grin he had only for his step-daughter at the challenge, but get up slowly, pretending to be tired; he fooled no one, for all knew how sparring with Talia was his favorite pastime.

Rahai would talk with the female Cheetahs, her grey eyes sparkling with happiness. Saedra was holding nine-month-old Caulitha's hand as the baby struggled to stand up, and caught her as the child lost her balance and fell backwards. Saedra would glance up and lock eyes with Edmund, who was next to Rahai talking to a Tree-and had been watching his sister-in-law the whole time out of the corner of his eye.

After the meal, the family spread out: Talia and Peter went for a hike; Saedra, Rahai, and Susan stayed with the napping baby; and Edmund and Peridan went off to appease some Rabbits who were having issues with the Hare family. Hours later, when everyone except Peter and Talia was getting ready to leave, Susan said, "I wonder how far Peter and Tal went! He knew we were planning to leave at this time."

Saedra glanced around, then volunteered: "I'll go see if I can find them. Knowing Talia, they probably stopped to play in the brook."

Susan agreed to watch Caulitha, and Saedra went off. She found that she had been right: Peter and Talia had stopped at the brook, probably on their way back. They were sitting on the rocky shore, talking.

She hesitated, not relishing the idea of interrupting their father-daughter time.

"...I guess it's just that it seems like things are—different," Talia was saying haltingly.

"How so?" Peter asked.

"Well, just you and Mum, I guess...you don't talk anymore. Or laugh. Or smile—or anything!" She picked up a pebble and threw it into the water with a plop.

"Things are...complicated with your mother and I," he said carefully. "It's just between her and myself. We need to work it out in our own time."

"But if you haven't worked it out yet, when will you? You've both been weird for a long time. Ever since Mother died!"

"I didn't know you noticed, Tal." He studied her, but she wouldn't meet his eyes. "I'm sorry if our problems have affected you. I didn't think it had."

"Can't things go back to the way they were?" she almost begged. "I've really hated it...the silence. I know you're both sad about Willem, but it doesn't help anything if you avoid each other!"

Peter said nothing, and they sat there in silence as Talia continued to chuck pebbles into the water. Saedra felt strange eavesdropping, but this was too important a conversation to end.

"Are you mad at Mum?" Talia finally asked.

Peter looked surprised. "I—what makes you think that?"

She shrugged. "Are you?"

"It's not—appropriate—for me to answer that, Tal. As I said—"

"You're mad about Willem, aren't you? You blame Mum for that."

Saedra held her breath, anxious to hear how Peter would address that, but all he did was look confused.

Talia continued, "When one of the Tisroc's wives miscarried, she was punished. Everyone blamed her for it. You blame Mum for Willem."

"No, Tal, I don't. Not in the least. None of us had any way of knowing that she would be poisoned. It was definitely not her fault. It was no one's fault."

"Then why are you mad?"

Peter stood up. "It's getting late, Tal. We should—"

Saedra stepped out of the shadows and said, "There you are! Everyone's getting ready to leave, so I decided to find you two."

Talia smiled. "Super! Is there any food left? I'm famished already!"

"I think they're packing it up," Saedra replied.

"Good. I'm going to see if I can catch them!" Talia hurried into the forest, just a little more excited than she should have been about some food.

Saedra and Peter stood awkwardly.

"Where's Cauli?" Peter asked, breaking the silence.

"Sleeping. Susan's watching her."

"Ah..."

Pause.

"Well, should we be going?" Saedra said, trying to be cheerful. She didn't wait for his reply, but turned back into the forest to find safely among others from the man who had just become ever more mysterious to her.

He wasn't mad about Willem._ If not Willem...then what?_


	41. Reine Makes His Move

**Reine Makes His Move**

* * *

Saedra was sitting in the rain with her arms around her knees. She faced the east and the grey stone wall of the garden. She couldn't see over the wall very well because she was seated on the grass, but she could see the furious dark-grey clouds churning in the east. Water ran down her blank face and splashed off of her bare lower arms. She shivered in her soaked gown and hair, but it was evident that her mind was elsewhere. She simply stared into the distance.

The late autumn rain had been ravaging Narnia for almost a week. It was as if all of Aslan's fury that should have been directed at Saedra was falling from the sky and being expressed through thunder, lightning, and sheets of water. The new apple buds that Lucy had been so excited planting the week before were now drooping in the rain.

Affairs had always seemed so romantic in the fairy tales. A dashing Knight and fair Lady secretly meet against the wishes of their family, country, or king, and have a passionate love affair. Even though they always end up dying in the end, it seems terrifically romantic while it lasts. It is always forbidden, but always justified because those who are wronged by the hero and heroine always deserve it.

How could reality be so far from fantasy?

Saedra and Edmund continued to meet all summer, and now into the late fall. But while the first time they had been together at Susan's wedding had been romantic, lustful, and adventurous, reality had set in quickly for Saedra. It was not long before she was deeply regretful, always questioning what she had done. She was not cheating on a harsh Lord of the fairytales, she was betraying her kind and once-loving husband whom she still loved. She was deliberately attacking the happiness of Rahai, who deserved nothing less than the best.

Why couldn't fantasy be reality? Why couldn't Saedra just be happy as an adulterer? Worse yet, how could she ever make things right again?

Saedra glanced at the baby apple trees, her eyes vacant.

It seemed like ages ago, but it was just a week before that Susan, Lucy, and Rahai had cheerfully planted the apple trees with the Moles and other Animals. Talia and Peter had sparred, and Saedra and Edmund had played chess on the lawn while Peridan had walked his niece Caulitha around the garden, holding her up by her thin arms. It had been a happy moment of peace, but Saedra had felt strangely disconnected at the time. She felt that Peter and Rahai had been watching her, and had convinced herself that everyone else was looking at her differently too, regardless of what had been really happening. She felt like she was the center of everyone's thoughts, and yet had felt isolated and alone. Edmund being there only seemed to compound the loneliness, as if to remind her why she was so filthy.

Saedra sat in the pelting, cold rain now as if it would wash her clean of her disgust with herself. She had made a bad decision and was unable to escape it. She was unable to end things with Edmund, no matter how hard she resolved to. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. If she left him, she would have no one. He was an addiction, an outlet for her hurt, raw heart that had been first devastated by losing a son and then by a husband's rejection.

Just hours before Saedra had come out into the rain, Lucy had stepped into Saedra's room to invite her to a little tea party she was holding in her room. The invitations were just for Saedra and Susan and no one else, and as soon as Saedra had heard that, the feelings of fear had overcome her—_what if Susan and Lucy knew?_

It turned out that the little tea party was a kind, generous, and tactful way for Susan and Lucy to express their concern over how Peter and Saedra were no longer so affectionate, and to offer their help. Saedra had assured them that she and Peter were working on their issues, but that time would heal their wounds over losing Willem.

Saedra had left feeling more ill after their talk than when she had first entered Lucy's room. Not only did Lucy and Susan still _care _about Saedra, but Saedra had lied to their trusting faces.

The soaked Princess blinked a raindrop off her eyelash, replaying in her mind what had happened next: Edmund had cornered her in the hallway and pulled her into a deserted room, kissing her and begging her to meet him that night. Saedra had kissed him back half-heartedly out of habit, but had pulled away as Susan and Lucy's concerned faces flew into her mind.

"What is it, Sae?"

She looked up at him, trying to hide the disturbance that was clenching in her chest. "It's nothing—it's nothing."

He didn't look like he believed her, so she tried to distract him by kissing him. This time, he pulled away.

"Sae," he said gently. "Tell me."

"I've…just been wondering. Thinking."

He waited.

"I just…Ed, is it worth it?"

"Us?"

She nodded.

"Of course, Sae! Nothing in my life has been so worth it as being with you. Sae, I know there's guilt and it's hard, but…I don't know how to explain it. I feel as if Aslan brought us together."

"_Aslan_?"

"When you died, I begged Him—I pleaded with Him, asking for the chance for us to be together, for us to somehow go back in time and make things right. And I truly believe this was His answer. He sent you back to me."

"I…I'd no idea..."

"Did the thought never cross your mind that Aslan sent you back so we could be together? When you first came back from the dead, I was shocked—I couldn't believe that Aslan had so blatantly answered my prayer. That's why I was distant from you, because I was so confused. But when you asked me to be with you on the beach that one night, I _knew. _I had been waiting for that, and seeing how Peter had hurt you…"

As she had stared at him, she realized that she couldn't tell him her thoughts: how she deeply regretted what they had done and continued to do. It would hurt him too severely; he was convinced that they were supposed to be together, and that they were sanctioned by Aslan. She was certain he was deluded and seeking a rationale to explain away their treachery, but she didn't have the heart to convince him otherwise.

"I hear footsteps," Saedra had lied, and moved to step away.

Edmund had grabbed her hand, and she turned back to look at him.

"Tonight?" Edmund had asked, raising his eyebrows.

She had nodded. "Tonight."

Saedra had left him, and went straight out to the garden and into the rain. And now she continued to simply sit there, tormented, thinking about Lucy and Susan's kindness, Edmund's steady love, and how purely evil she was feeling.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and jumped. She inclined her head to see that it was Peter. He was squatting next to her, squinting through the rain. It was strange to see him so close to her. It had been over a year since they had shared a room.

"You should come in, Saedra," he said.

She shook her head.

"I saw you through the window; you've been out here too long. You'll catch your death."

"I rather doubt you'd notice if I did die, _husband,_" she said blandly, refusing to move.

He ignored her comment. "You're shivering, Sae. Your lips are blue, and your face is white. Please be reasonable."

She ignored him, speaking in a monotone voice. "This is where it all began. Do you remember? Here, in the garden. You had returned from checking on the Giants, and you didn't recognize me…How in the world did we end up here like this?"

"If you won't go indoors of your own accord, I shall have to make you."

She looked at him, lifting an eyebrow disbelievingly. "And how are you going to do that?

She fully thought he was bluffing about forcing her to go in, but all of a sudden he looped one arm under her legs and the other around her back. Her behind lost contact with the ground, and she was up in the air, being carried by Peter, pressed against his chest.

He was only able to take a few steps back towards the castle before she panicked. She didn't know why she became so upset, but she snapped. She shoved against his chest hard and shouted: "Let me _down_!"

By the time she yelled, "down!" she already _was _down, because she had slid out of Peter's arms and landed hard on her rear in the grass.

Peter stared down at her, shocked at her furious reaction. She stared back at him, trembling with the remnants of anger, yet unable to explain _why_ she had become so angry. All she knew was that he had _no right _to be touching her. He had _no right _to care about her health. He had forfeited those rights a_g_es ago.

He offered his hand to help her up, but she ignored it. She stood straight, and after throwing a quick glowering look at him, stomped off in the direction of the castle.

"Saedra—wait."

There was something in the tone of his voice that made her stop and turn back to him.

"I'm sorry," he said haltingly. "I—"

"It's all right," she said quickly, shaking her head. All she wanted to do was to walk away, crawl into bed, and pretend this day never happened. Or for that matter, pretend the last year never happened.

"I just—I'd like to know something."

She waited.

"Sae…are you happy?"

Saedra's mouth dropped open with shock. For the first time that day, her eyes weren't wet with raindrops, but with angry tears. How could he ask her such a thing?

"Do I _look _happy?"

"Uh-no, not right now."

"But I usually seem happy," she prodded.

"I-I don't know..."

She stared at him sadly. "No, Peter," she said softly. "I'm not happy at all."

* * *

Susan caught Saedra about the waist unexpectedly one day in the corridor as Saedra was leaving Caulitha's room.

"Do you have a moment?" the Queen asked breathlessly, her face glowing happily.

"Of course! I'm just off to see how Tal's doing with her schoolwork."

"Then I'll walk with you," Susan said.

Saedra eyed her friend. "You have a secret."

Susan grinned, but then hesitated. She stopped walking. "I—I wanted to tell you first. I didn't know how you'd—um—react..."

Saedra stared at Susan, and it just hit her. It was written on the Queen's face as obviously as if she had spelled it out with letters. If Saedra had been focused on anyone but herself, she would have surely noticed it sooner.

"You're pregnant," Saedra stated.

Susan nodded, unable to contain her excitement, but looking worried about Saedra's reaction. "Yes…"

"Su, you needn't worry about me. I lost Willem a year ago now; the pain has subsided with time." She wasn't sure she believed the words coming out of her mouth, but they sounded good.

"Really?" Susan said hopefully. "Per and I want to make the announcement tonight, but I thought it only fair to tell you first. Not only because of Willem, but you know…"

"'I know' what?"

Susan punched her shoulder gently. "Silly, because you're my best friend!"

Saedra's stomach dropped. _Best friend. _She was some best friend—a best friend who hadn't paid any attention to Susan recently, who wrecked the lives of her brothers…

All Saedra managed to do was smile and hug the Queen, feeling like she was ready to empty the contents of her stomach.

* * *

The happiness that ignited in Cair Paravel made the rain seem bearable. It was a good distraction for Saedra, because Susan was plying her with questions about childbirth and pregnancy. Even though Saedra couldn't remember giving birth, she was able to sarcastically warn Susan about all of the joys ahead of her: red lines across her abdomen, swollen ankles, and hunger for strange foods. She was able to use her time with Susan as an excuse not to see Edmund, but she would go back to him like a moth to the flame, time after time.

Yet after every time she and Edmund made love, Saedra found herself heading back to her room with tears rolling down her face.

* * *

Winter should have come, but it seemed like the rain was holding it back. It seemed ceaseless. They would have a random dry day of grey sky, followed by a dozen more of freezing rain.

During one of the thunderous days came a letter that looked innocent from the outside, but held heavy words on the inside. Tumnus delivered it to Saedra's chambers, saying, "Princess, an important letter from Anvard has just arrived."

Saedra took it and ripped open the seal. Her facial expression did not change as she read it; it was almost as if she was expecting it.

_Dear Lady Saedra, _

_I have news for thee that is hard to bear. Enclosed thee will find a letter from thy dear father's advisor Lord Reine, in which he claims rightful rulership of Harden. His claims have merit, and because of that, I have set a date for Lord Reine to present his claims in court and for thee to counter those claims: four months from the date of this letter._

_Though I have been your ally in the past, it is unwise for me to intervene or show favoritism in this manner, and all correspondence will relate directly to logistics and nothing more. _

_I remain thy friend, _

_King Lune of Archenland_

Saedra felt numb as she pulled out the other parchment that was written in Reine's hand.

_I, Lord Reine, Advisor to the Late Duke Dane of the Province of Harden of Archenland, hereby announce my challenge to the right of Princess Saedra of Narnia to remain Duchess of Harden. I challenge on the grounds that she is not the true child of the esteemed Duke Dane, and that, had Duke Dane known the truth about her mother Tarkheena Lalevis' deceit, he would never have allowed Princess Saedra to be Duchess. I also assert that Princess Saedra is an unfit ruler because of her marriage to the High King Peter, and has left the land in unfit hands or in no hands at all during her long absences. Thirdly, I assert that Princess Saedra lacks the moral character of one in such an esteemed position in Archenland, and will only bring ruin to the Great Province of Harden. _

_I have ample support and evidence for each of the claims I have presented here, and humbly beseech King Lune to ignore his close feelings for the Princess and allow me to challenge her position in court. _

_Undersigned are inhabitants of the great land of Harden that support my challenge and would see me, Lord Reine, as Duke of Harden. _

The list was long.

"Princess? Shall I return to collect your reply?" Tumnus asked.

Saedra shook her head, but strode over to her desk and scribbled short notes onto several sheets of paper. "Please see to it that Peter, Talia, Susan, Edmund, Lucy, and Peridan each get one of these notes."

Tumnus looked confused, but did as he was told. Saedra turned back to her desk to write another letter, one bound for Calormen.

* * *

"When were you planning on telling us all this?" Susan exclaimed.

She and all her siblings and their spouses, plus Talia, Tumnus, and Stamprin, were gathered in the meeting room one hour after Saedra had sent out the notes. As soon as they had all received the notes, they had ended their engagements early to counsel Saedra.

"Would it have made a difference?" Saedra asked. "Yes, Abrastan is my father, but does it change your estimation of me?" She had just finished explaining what she had learned from Lalevis' diary in the hopes that the rest could give her advice on how to handle Reine's challenge.

"No, but it would have been nice to know!" Susan replied.

"It's water under the bridge now," Peridan said, standing up. "The point is, what do we do now? Not only does this affect Saedra, but it affects the perception of your rule, brother." Here he looked at Peter.

"How so?" Lucy asked.

"If Reine can prove what he says he can prove"—he held up Reine's letter and read from it—"that Saedra is an 'unfit ruler' and 'lacks moral character,' this makes it look like Peter has chosen a wife wrongly."

Rahai gasped. "You don't think Lord Reine is purposefully trying to bring down Narnia, do you?"

Peridan shook his head. "No. But I _am_ saying that what happens in this trial affects us all, not only Saedra."

"I've already started planning," Saedra said.

All eyes turned to her.

She continued. "I've written to Abrastan and asked for his help, and-"

"You _what_?" Stamprin the Dwarf said, standing up. "Did you not consider that in getting the Tarkaan Abrastan involved that it would appear that you are flaunting the fact that you're a bastard?"

"Stamprin!" Peter snapped.

"Many apologies for my crudeness," the White Dwarf bowed, "but your Ladyship should have thought this through."

"I did think this through," Saedra said coldly. "Since it would not only be impossible to prove wrong, but also a lie, there is no point in arguing that I am Dane's true daughter. But I can argue from the standpoint that Dane knew I wasn't his daughter, but named me his heir anyway."

"How can you prove that?" Edmund asked.

"Dane knew Saedra wasn't his daughter," Peter said. "Lalevis was already pregnant when she returned from Tashbaan. Any husband with an ounce of sense would know."

"I have a theory," Saedra said. "It could be wrong, but it's a place to start. Dane kept meticulous journals in his library at Harden. I barely read them because I found them boring, but it's possible that he mentioned me in some of them. I want to read those to see if he left any clues about what he had been thinking then."

Peter nodded. "Excellent notion. Surely he had some inkling that someone would challenge you, even though he probably didn't think it would be his own friend."

"And how does Abrastan help?" Rahai asked.

"I'm not sure," Saedra said. "But I'm willing to bet that his side of the story will be illuminating, and Lalevis probably told him many things about Dane—assuming that Abrastan wants anything to do with me."

"Oh, he will," Rahai promised. "I wouldn't be surprised if he knew all along."

"Then how can we help?" Susan asked.

"I need testimonies to back up my character," Saedra said. "It's up to King Lune whether he'll accept your testimonies, but it'd be powerful if you could tell him good things about me." The irony of her request was not at all lost on her, but she held back her thoughts.

They all pledged their help.

"Here's another angle your Ladyship could go with..." Stamprin suggested, launching them all into a long discussion of law, politics, and strategy. The conversation lasted past dinner, and one by one the group dispersed to go to bed. Soon it was just Saedra, Peridan, and Edmund left, staring down at the many parchments of notes on the table.

Peridan stretched. "Well, I best be making sure Su got to bed all right."

Saedra smiled. "I'm pretty sure she knows how to get to bed on her own."

"Not anymore," Edmund said jokingly, glancing at Saedra knowingly.

They all laughed, and Peridan left the two of them alone. Edmund changed seats so he could be near her and put his arm around her.

"How are you doing, Sae?"

She released a breath. "Better than I should be. I've gotten to the point where nothing can surprise me these days."

He put his nose in her hair. "I know what you mean."

"I'm going to have to go back to Harden soon."

"I know."

Saedra pulled back. "Ed, we're going to have to be more careful. Meet less, and plan it better. If we ever were discovered, Reine will have won his case without a fight."

Edmund looked supremely unhappy, but he nodded. "You're right. But we can make this work. We've done a good job so far."

Saedra nodded, and succumbed to his kisses. But she could not help feeling guilty that the idea of seeing less of Edmund made her feel so relieved.

* * *

It should have worked. Saedra and Edmund did everything by the book. Edmund zealously planned when they would meet, where they would meet, and how they would get there. The times, locations, and routes were always different so that there should have been no possible way for them to be caught.

But one particular stormy night, Saedra was walking through a less-travelled corridor in the upper levels of Cair Paravel. It was extremely dark and she wasn't familiar with the halls, so she held a candle in front of her. When she rounded a corner, she ran right into a man.

Thinking her was Ed, she quickly gasped, "Ed, you startled me—"

She quickly silenced herself, for the grim man with the spectacles and light brown hair was most certainly not Edmund.

"Peridan!" she exclaimed, hoping against hope he hadn't caught what she'd hastily uttered. "What are you doing up here at this time of night?"

"I would ask you the same question," he said stiffly with no warmth in his eyes, "but we both know the answer, don't we?"

She froze, but tried to act innocent. "Pardon me?"

He looked at her sadly. "Please, Saedra. Don't play games. I already know about you and Edmund. It's why I'm here."

Saedra went blank. There were no thoughts, no explanations running through her mind. All she could say in a scared voice was, "What do you want?"

"Come with me. We need to talk."


	42. Peridan's Ultimatum

**Peridan's Ultimatum**

* * *

Saedra followed Peridan silently through the dark halls of Cair Paravel. Peridan hadn't said a word since he had ordered her to follow him, and she was terrified to break the silence. She pictured Edmund, waiting for her in the place they had agreed to meet, not knowing what was really happening.

She fingered Father Christmas' necklace tensely. Peridan knew? How long had he known? What did he want? And more importantly, who had he told?

"In here," Peridan said, and opened a door.

Saedra followed, swallowing.

Dim firelight lit the room. It was a small conference room, one that appeared rarely used. There was a table in the middle of the room, and three beings sat around it: Stamprin and Moonshackle the Dwarves, and Tumnus the Faun.

Saedra was sickened by the sight of the Dwarves, but the sight of Tumnus made her want to burst into tears. Tumnus was her _friend_; he was Lucy's _best _friend. Seeing him look at her with such hurt and condemning eyes was like being stabbed in the heart.

Peridan gestured for her to be seated, and she sat across from the four of them. She felt like she was on trial.

They studied her.

Peridan cleared his throat. "Saedra, as you may have deduced, we all have the same knowledge of your treachery. What you do not know is that we are here to help. We have information that will affect you, and all who are connected to you. Perhaps we should have told you sooner…but Stamprin will begin, for it is his tale more than anything."

Saedra was surprised, and looked at the White Dwarf.

Stamprin spoke. "What I have to tell you, Duchess, you should have never needed to know. But concerning the _situation_ you have put yourself in, I must tell you all. You may think that I dislike you, but that is beside the point. It is true that I have remained suspicious of you, even resorting to prodding Princess Talia for information, but it has only been in the interest of guarding Narnia's interests. I had hoped that my suspicion would act as a guard and a warning against…inappropriate behavior...of any kind. Apparently I was wrong.

"Not long after you were married to the High King, I was approached by a representative of Lord Reine. (Yes, I see your surprise, Duchess. You must hear the whole story before making judgments.) Lord Reine had heard that I was less than enthusiastic about your marriage to High King Peter, and sought to take advantage of me for information about you. I pretended to cooperate, hoping to be able to thwart any designs Lord Reine had against you. It was obvious that he was furious about his expulsion from Harden and was plotting to return some day.

"Thus my relationship with Lord Reine began. I gave him information about you—harmless and pointless information—but information that allowed me to earn his trust. He was living in Telmar, worming his way into the good graces of King Meridian, and acting through Lord Leren and those loyal to him from Archenland. Here freely I admit my folly: I was the one who told Reine that you were with child before the knowledge had become common."

Saedra's eyes flashed; she could guess where this conversation was headed.

"Reine then arranged for Gilda to be killed in Harden by one of his spies to bait you to leave Tashbaan, and poisoned you in Harden. In my defense, I knew nothing of this until afterwards."

Silence followed this.

"Does the High King know this?" Saedra said through clenched teeth. "Does he know that _you _are the one responsible for his son's death?"

"Calm yourself, Saedra!" Peridan ordered firmly.

"No, he does not know," Stamprin said. "Nor do I intend to tell him."

"But he _must_ know! He must know that one of his own advisors as good as planned the death of his child!" Saedra growled, standing up.

Peridan, Stamprin, and Moonshackle stood up angrily. Tumnus spoke quietly, but it carried over the exclamations of the other three.

"And after we inform him of Stamprin's mistake, shall we inform him of your treachery, Saedra?" Tumnus asked, his troubled eyes meeting hers.

Saedra sat down slowly, having no reply, and the other three did as well.

"Continue, Stamprin," Peridan said.

"I do not tell the High King because I know that he will react in a worse way than you have, Duchess. He will have me killed, regardless of how much he—and you—need me at this moment," Stamprin said.

"How do I need _you?_" Saedra asked.

"Have you not been listening? I have the ear of Lord Reine, the very man you are fighting this spring over the leadership of Harden. I have insight and information about him that you will not find elsewhere!"

"But why would you help me?" Saedra asked. "I have not forgotten why I am here! I'm a traitor! I don't deserve your _help_, I deserve to be executed or exiled."

"I do not do this for you, Duchess," Stamprin said. "I do this for the High King, the one who I have pledged to serve until I die, the one who Aslan himself gave charge of Narnia. It is for him that I will help you."

"But we have conditions, Princess," Moonshackle spoke. "We shall not help you if you will not do the right thing."

"The right thing?"

"You must end it with Edmund, Saedra," Peridan said.

She wasn't surprised in the least, but it still hurt her immensely. She studied him, hoping there was some way out of this. Could she bluff?

"How do you know I have something with Edmund?" she asked. "What proof do you have?"

"There is no one piece of proof, Saedra, just those who have eyes unbiased enough to see," Peridan said. "Once one starts to doubt your allegiance to your husband, the truth is quite obvious."

"And who planted these doubts in your head?" Saedra asked.

"I did," Tumnus said in a low voice.

Saedra blinked. "_You?_"

"I was not a child the first time you came to Narnia, Princess. I was a full-grown Faun. I do not forget the affection that Kind Edmund had for you even then, the way his siblings have forgotten as they grew up. I was keen enough to see it at the time, while their child's minds could not. I know how he loved you, and how he has suffered.

"I approached Peridan because he was the only one in the family that I could trust to keep a cool head about this," Tumnus said. "And I do not regret this, Saedra, as much as this hurts you. You _knew_ better."

Saedra pursed her lips. Seeing Tumnus so disappointed in her was staggering; how much more would the disappointment—and hatred and anger—of her family affect her! How would Peter look at her...and Talia?

"You must end it now, Saedra," Peridan said firmly. "Do not tarry."

Saedra nodded, feeling desperate. At this moment, she would do anything to keep her family from knowing.

"But you must _really _end it. There must be no hope of a reunion in either your mind or Edmund's."

"I understand, Peridan," she said.

"I don't think you do," he said. "You must _hurt _him."

She blinked. "Hurt?"

"Even if the _physical_," here Peridan looked supremely disgusted, "affair has ended, the emotional one will continue for the rest of your lives. Edmund must not love you anymore."

"How am I to make sure of that!"

"Hurt him," he repeated. "Tell him that you love another. You cheated on Peter, why should Edmund expect any different treatment? Tell him you are in love with another besides him or Peter. That way his anger shall not be directed at Peter for taking you back, but at you for you inconstancy."

Saedra was horrified. "I—can't!"

"You can. And you will."

She looked at the Faun. "Tumnus, tell them I can't do this! I can't do this to Edmund!" she pleaded.

"It's the only way, Princess. King Edmund will never be able to move on otherwise. This is for his own good."

"But it won't work!" she pressed.

"Of course it will," Peridan said. "You're a good liar. How else do you think Peter doesn't yet know of the affair?"

"But Edmund won't believe me!" she said. "He knows me better than that!"

"He _thinks _he knows you. You will prove otherwise."

"Duchess," Stamprin said, "I must press on you the importance of ending your treachery. If you do not get the information I have about Lord Reine, you will not win the case. On top of that, I _will _tell High King Peter about your affair."

Saedra paled even further. "You wouldn't _dare_! It'll destroy Narnia!"

Stamprin continued. "I will tell him, because he must know before Lord Reine does. For I will also tell Lord Reine, ensuring that you lose your rulership of Harden."

"I don't believe you," Saedra said. "I don't. You would never destroy Narnia this way!"

"I am not destroying anything that had not already been destroyed by your own hand, Duchess," Stamprin countered. "I do not wish to do this, but if you will not attempt to make things right—as small a chance as there is that things could ever be made right—then I will have to step in and make sure that Narnia is rid of you."

Silence followed as they watched her. Saedra was overwhelmed; this was too big for her! She had had no idea that her relationship with Edmund could affect so much! She believed that Stamprin meant what he said.

She took in a shaky breath. "I'll do it. But we have to do it my way."

They started to protest, but she held up her hand to silence them.

She said, "Trust me. I know Edmund more than any of you do. He won't believe what you want me to tell him."

"Then how are you going to make sure he doesn't love you?"

Tears filled her eyes, and she shrugged weakly. "Like you said: I hurt him."

And she was the only person who knew exactly how to.

* * *

Saedra paced the library, shaking. It wasn't from the cold, even though it _was_ cold in the tall tower. It was because she knew what she was about to do...and was terrified.

High above her in the tower, Peridan was hiding. He had not trusted her to complete her task, and so had insisted that he witness it. He would be there the whole time, hearing as Saedra destroyed Edmund.

For, she _was _about to destroy Edmund. As much as Saedra had come to hate herself during the affair, _nothing _she had done in her life was as terrible as what she was about to do.

The only consolation she had—and it was miniscule indeed—was that what she was going to do would help him in the long-term. Hopefully he could forget her, and have a normal relationship with Peter and Rahai. If she didn't do this, his life was definitely going to be destroyed, whether through civil war or whatever might result from Peter, Susan, and Lucy finding out about their evil.

The door opened, and Edmund entered, looking hopeful. She turned to him, but didn't go to meet him.

He shut the door and locked it. "Are we alone?"

"Of course," she said, but without happiness.

She took in a deep breath as he walked to her. She had to stay calm.

"Why didn't you meet me last night?" he asked.

She held her head high and cleared her throat. "That's why I asked you to meet me here. We need to talk."

"Talk now or later?" he asked, smiling. He reached out to take her in his arms, but she stepped back and evaded him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, brow furrowing.

She wished she could stop trembling!

"I don't know any other way to say it, so I will just...tell you," she said, then paused.

He nodded earnestly, kindly waiting to hear what was troubling her.

She spoke coldly and with finality: "It's over."

He froze. "What's over?"

"Us. You and me. We're done."

She couldn't believe she was doing this. Her voice sounded foreign, as if it wasn't coming from her. It sounded so cold and uncaring!

"What's wrong, Sae?" he asked. "Tell me."

He moved to touch her again.

"Don't touch me!" she snapped, her voice echoing in the tower.

He looked like she'd slapped him.

"Sae, whatever is wrong, we can fix it," he assured her.

"You think so?" she said, raising her eyebrows with an almost amused expression on her face. "Can you make me love you?"

He gaped at her, his brown eyes shocked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I say, Edmund. Can you make me love you?"

"I—you do! You do love me, Sae."

She threw her head back and laughed maniacally. He watched her with a horrified expression. He finally seemed to understand that something dreadfully serious was happening.

When she recovered, she said, "Do I? Then why am I ending this?"

His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before: "You can't end this!"

"Oh, but I can!" She snapped her finger. "There! It's ended. Just like magic."

"What happened to you, Sae? Is something wrong?"

She grinned. "Wrong? Hardly. I just have gotten bored with you, that's all."

"Bored?"

"Bored. You're a sweet boy, Edmund, but I'm looking for a real lover now. And you just aren't a real man yet. Yes, you were a good way to get back at Peter for hurting my feelings, but now I've moved on. "

His horrified expression only allowed her to continue. She put on a crying face, "'Oh, Edmund! Peter's broken my heart! Will you be my lover?' Really, now! Did you ever think I was in this affair for _you?_ Peter's my first love. You know that. The only reason I've been with you is to get him mad. But he hasn't reacted the way I've wanted, so I intend to take a different lover and see if that makes him pay attention to me."

"Wha—who are you? Saedra, are you bewitched?"

She smiled compassionately as if he was a small child. "Hardly. Haven't you noticed that I've been less enthusiastic recently?"

"Well, yes, but..."

"But what? You thought I was feeling guilty?" She giggled.

He took a step back. "You aren't Saedra. You aren't the Saedra I love."

"The Saedra you love doesn't exist. She's a phantom. She's a woman who used you to make her husband mad, that's all. She's heartless, cruel, and an adulterer, and _that _is who I am.

Edmund stared at her, and she could see the rage building up in him.

"I don't believe this!"

She smirked. "Believe it. It's over. Now go back to my cousin and make her a good husband."

"_I risked everything for you!" _he exploded, stepping towards her. "I risked my family, my wife, the security of my country. I deluded myself into thinking that Aslan allowed us to be together—_and this is what I get_?"

Saedra was frightened of him, but she tried not to show it. "Yes. See? No harm done."

"No harm done? Are you _insane_?"

"Perhaps," she shrugged. "You're probably more insane for loving me, however."

His face was deathly pale, and he moved like he was going to slap her.

She tilted her cheek up. "Go ahead. Hit me. It'll make everything so much better."

She almost hoped she would; she deserved it. However, he stepped back, looking like he was going to break down. He was seeing her for the first time, and found her hideous.

Saedra could feel herself losing control of herself, but she said cheekily, "Do you hate me now, Eddykins?"

He looked like he had a lot more to say, but he threw her a fierce look before he swerved around and almost ran out of the room. After clumsily opening the lock, he slammed the door behind him.

Saedra immediately lost control—and vomited onto the ground continuously. She felt like every part of her being was disgusted with what she'd done and was trying to be free. She sank to the ground weakly, in a daze, unable to believe what had taken place.

She had forgotten Peridan was there, but he passed her on his way to the door with a disturbed, yet awed, look on his face.

"You were right, Saedra. You _do _know how to hurt him. Well done."

She sank onto her elbows as she watched the Lord's retreating back.

He paused before he left. "Be sure you clean that up before you leave."

After he closed the door, Saedra vomited again.

* * *

Saedra was sick for days. It seemed all she could do was eat and vomit. She had never felt more wretched in her life. Peter, Talia, Susan, and Lucy would try to visit, but Saedra would pretend to be sleeping whenever they came. She overheard them muttering that Edmund was ill too, and that there must be an illness going around.

One day a couple of weeks after her final conversation with Edmund, someone came to visit her again. Thinking it was one of her family, she pretended to be asleep. The figure approached her bed, and she kept her face still with a steady calm.

"I know you're awake...daughter."

Saedra's eyes snapped open. It was Abrastan, in all his Tarkaan glory. She sat up in shock.

"What are you doing here?" she exclaimed, but shut up quickly when she realized that it was not the most proper thing to say to your long-lost father who has just come to visit you.

"I came as soon as I could," he said, pulling up a chair. "Your letter was quite...intriguing to say the least."

She just stared at him. He had called her "daughter"!

"But that doesn't tell me why you're here!" she pressed.

"You need my help. I don't know how much of my information will be useful to you, but you're welcome to it."

"Then...you're not upset about...you know...?"

"Upset that I'm a father?" he smiled. "It's probably the best news I've heard in a long time."

The smile looked unnatural on his tan face. His hair and beard were greying, and there were wrinkles around his eyes—the eyes that looked so much like Saedra's, as Sadris had once accidentally observed.

Saedra smiled in relief. "I—I wasn't sure. I didn't want to disrupt your life."

"I needed a disruption," he said. "With Cradish in prison and Rahai up here, there's nothing to occupy me but business." He smiled sheepishly. "I'm not the most outgoing of men. I have few friends, for most have died in battle long ago."

"This truly means the world to me, Abrastan—I mean..." she paused. "What shall I call you?"

"'Abrastan' is fine," he said. "I've not earned the title of 'Father.' But I hope to. I will help you win this battle."

"Your information will be vital, I'm sure. I also will have the information of one who has Lord Reine's—the man who is challenging me—ear. I'm sure the three of us can mount a good case."

"I'm sure we can, but we can save that for later. When do I get to be formally introduced to your husband and daughter with my new title?"

Peter and Talia were brought in to be reintroduced to Abrastan. The three of them had a lively conversation while Saedra lay on the bed, weak from not eating. She watched Peter closely; they hadn't spoken alone since that time in the rain. What was going through his mind at this moment?

Talia offered to show Abrastan around the castle, and he delightedly accepted the offer. Peter declined to join them, saying he would stay with Saedra. Talia and Abrastan left, leaving the two of them alone.

Peter stood next to the bed, looking awkward.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Better. But it comes and goes."

He nodded. "So, you'll be leaving soon, won't you?"

"As soon as I'm better. I should be in Harden right now, showing what a good leader I am," she half-laughed. "We should leave soon."

"Stamprin tells me he wants to go with you to help. I guess you managed to make him like you after all."

"Oh, have I? You never know with those Dwarves..."

* * *

Saedra stayed in Narnia longer than she would have liked to. Escaping Narnia meant escaping everything having to do with Peter and Edmund. Peter was being so kind to her, it made her sick. He would come and read to her, or bring Caulitha to visit her. They wouldn't talk about anything important, but he was being so caring...

Saedra finally got over whatever was ailing her, and prepared to leave Narnia with Stamprin and Abrastan. Talia and Caulitha were to stay behind so Saedra could focus on the task ahead, but would meet her in Anvard for the court date that spring.

As Saedra finished the final packing and scanned her bedroom for anything she'd missed, she was hit with a sense of nostalgia. It was the strangest feeling, but she felt like it was the last time she would ever be in Cair Paravel. She walked around the room, taking everything in.

She walked through the bathroom, taking in the ornate tiles and tub, then came to Peter's room. The door was slightly open, so she entered hesitantly. It was empty. She walked around the room, touching the bedspread and his cloak, feeling a sense of loneliness.

"Mother?"

Saedra turned to see Talia standing in the doorway to the bathroom. She must have come through Saedra's bedroom.

"Abrastan sent me to tell you that everything's ready to go."

Saedra nodded. "Thanks. I'll be down in a minute."

Talia skipped off. Saedra slowly wandered back through the bathroom and into her own room. She put on her cloak and mittens in front of the mirror, taking her time.

"Sae?"

Now Peter had come through the bathroom from his room.

"Talia told me," she said, shooing him away with her hands. "I'm coming, I'm coming."

"That's not what I'm here for."

She went to her last bags and picked them up. "Then what are you here for?"

"To say goodbye."

She studied him, and slowly put down the bags. He was looking her openly, and it made her heart ache. All she knew is that she wanted him back so badly. She had been so _wrong _to be with Edmund. It didn't matter what she felt about Edmund; _Peter _was her husband. No matter what he'd done, he didn't deserve what she'd done to him.

She wanted him, but she couldn't let herself have him. She was unworthy. Her lips had kissed Edmund's; how could they belong to Peter again?

He said, "I spoke rashly that time before Susan's wedding. I—I reacted badly to... I see now that, once again, I was wrong. It wasn't your fault. I should have been there for you, Sae, and I wasn't. I just don't seem to learn." He shrugged. "I guess I'm saying...I hope that when this is all over, things can...be better. Once and for all."

He walked over, and wiped the tears away the tears that were falling down Saedra's face. She hadn't even noticed she'd been crying.

"Would you like that?"

Saedra smiled tearfully and gasped, "I would. So much."

"We have a lot to talk about when this is over. A lot. I don't care what's in the past. I just want things to be right between us." He paused. "I haven't been happy either. Far from it."

She stared up into his blue eyes, not wanting to dare to hope. "Do you really think we'll be all right?"

"Aslan brought us together for a reason, Sae. And I love you."

The dam broke: Saedra burst into tears. She sobbed uncontrollably, wretchedly. Peter would never say such a thing if he knew the truth!

He wrapped his arms around her, and she sobbed into his shoulder.

"I'm—I'm so _so—sorry_, Peter!"

"I am too," he said, rubbing her back. He sounded like he might have some tears too.

"No, no: I _really _am!" she protested.

"I am too," he half-laughed.

Saedra continued to mumble incoherent words and ball until her tears were gone. Peter continued to hold her while she hiccupped like a baby. Finally, she pulled back.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"You don't need to apologize so much, dearest," he said, grinning.

She tried to smile back. _Dearest. _How could she ever be worthy of such a title again?

Before she knew it, he was kissing her. It was the most wonderful and horrible feeling in the world. They hadn't kissed since Willem's death—or since her affair...

Talia ran in, and then stopped short.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, looking both embarrassed and happy. "Stamprin's getting anxious to leave now, but I can come back."

"No, come here!" Saedra said, motioning her over. "We were just saying goodbye."

Talia grinned hugely and joined their circle. As the three of them hugged, Saedra wondered how long it would be before the three of them would be like this again.

* * *

After kissing baby Caulitha goodbye, hugging Susan and Lucy, and shaking hands with Rahai (who seemed rather out of sorts over Edmund's continued illness), Saedra left on horseback with Abrastan and Stamprin.

They travelled through the freezing, snowless forests of Narnia and into Archenland. Stamprin didn't say much, but Saedra and Abrastan spoke about topics that they didn't mind being overheard.

When they arrived in Harden, the place seemed as it always was. Lord Darrin was there to meet them, and was very sympathetic to Saedra and offered to give a good word for her in the trial. She thanked him profusely for his help that year, and they got caught up.

Talking to him was strange, for it reminded her of an older, more innocent time in her life when they had courted. How different would her life be now if she _had _married the kind, but seemingly boring at the time, Lord? What would her life have been with just her, Darrin, and Talia in Harden if Lune had matched her up with the Lord instead of the High King?

After she and Darrin ended their conversation, Saedra sought out Mrs. Quigley; there had been something pressing in her mind that she needed to see her about. She found her in the kitchen talking to Nina.

"Mrs. Quigley?" Saedra asked apprehensively. "May I speak to you a moment—in private?"

"Of course, my Lady! Nina, could we have a moment?"

Nina curtseyed to Saedra and left. Saedra sat down at the table and took a deep breath.

"Mrs. Quigley, I've been having...questions. It's absolutely crazy, but it's so much like last time...But it couldn't be, because you assured me that I could never, you know..."

The older woman's eyebrows shot up excitedly. "What are your symptoms, my Lady?"

She explained how she had been sick for a long time, on top of other symptoms that she'd had.

"I was so sure that you would never conceive again, my Lady! But what do your instincts tell you? They're usually the best way to tell if one is with child."

"I...I'm pregnant," Saedra stuttered. "I didn't—couldn't—believe it, but...I'm sure of it now."

"Aslan must have blessed you with the chance to have more children, my Lady!" She clapped her hands excitedly. "The High King will be so excited!"

_Excited? _Excited was the last thing that Peter would be when he found out.

Saedra gazed straight ahead unbelievingly. Just when things were finally—_finally_—going to _possibly _go well, this had to happen.

Not only would Edmund never speak to her again, but neither would Peter.


	43. The Other Princess

**The Other Princess**

* * *

Saedra awoke with a start, heart pounding and clothing sticking to her sweaty skin. She sat up, looking around wildly in the dark.

The dream that had been tormenting her a moment before dissipated as she took in the truth: she was in Harden.

She freed herself of the tangled bed-sheets and stepped onto the cool carpet. The air was chilly to her wet skin, as the fire had died out long before. She wrapped her arms around herself and went over to the northern-facing window. The moon and stars were bright, illuminating the courtyard and the forest beyond the fortress.

She couldn't remember what she dreamed, but it had seemed so _real. _So _terrifying. _

Her hands slid down to rest on her still-flat stomach. A _baby_ was in there.

It was still so hard to believe. She had believed Mrs. Quigley so willingly that she was unable to have more children! If she had known the truth, things would have been so different…right?

_Now what am I going to do? _she was asking herself. She had been asking herself ever since she had spoken with Mrs. Quigley the day before. Yet no answer came to her.

There was no question that she had to keep it a secret. If Peter _ever _found out, the result would be absolutely disastrous. He would be devastated, and if he ever found out just who the _father _was…

If was unfathomable. She couldn't begin to imagine what would ensue. All she knew was that she had to avoid it at all costs.

What if she went down to Calormen to visit Abrastan for a while, just long enough that her last months would be kept secret and she could give birth? And then—what? She couldn't just leave her own child with Abrastan. Could she pretend to adopt the baby, and bring it back with her to Narnia and Harden?

There were so many things that could go wrong with the plan, but it was the only one she could see. She couldn't give birth in Harden without word getting out. Going to Narnia wasn't even an option.

Saedra shivered, becoming cool as her sweat dried.

Going to Calormen as soon as the trial was over was the only way: It was the only way to save Saedra from humiliation, save Peter from despair, and save Edmund from having to know. It would also the save the child, whoever it was, from knowing what treachery had brought it into the world.

* * *

That afternoon, an exhausted Saedra met in the study with Abrastan and Stamprin: the time to plan Saedra's defense had officially begun.

"Before we can get anywhere, I need to know what you know, Stamprin," Saedra began, quill in hand and poised to take notes. "I cooperated with you, now I expect your cooperation as you promised."

The White Dwarf nodded. "You gladly have it. You may not believe this, but I am on your side, my Lady. It would look bad for the High King's wife to be proven to be an inept leader."

Saedra waited, and Abrastan crossed his legs silently.

"It is another long tale I have to tell, my Lady," Stamprin continued. "And once again, not one that brings back the best of memories. But because this information is relevant, I give it.

"This tale begins before you ever married the High King. Five year before, to be precise. You may know this already, but the King Meridian and Queen Bria of Telmar paid a diplomatic visit to the Four that summer. They brought along their daughter, Princess Priyah, who was just leaving her teen years at that time. She was a very pretty and vivacious little thing, and High King Peter, who was still young himself, was quickly enamored with her. After a brief romance that summer, he proposed marriage to her."

"So why didn't they marry?" Abrastan asked.

"I discouraged the High King from it," Stamprin replied. "I overheard King Meridian pressuring Princess Priyah to win the High King over, and I suspected that the Princess did not love the High King the way that he loved her. I told this to his Majesty, and he reacted as you might expect: He was hurt and angry, and even more so because he still had the passions of youth. He immediately went to the Princess and demanded to know if it was true that King Meridian was pressuring her to marry him.

"To her credit, she didn't deny what I had overheard, but she tried to convince the High King that she did indeed love him and that it didn't matter what her father wanted. His Majesty was in the heat of the moment and still furious, and said some terrible things, prompting her to also say terrible things. The engagement ended that day, and the Telmarines left Cair Paravel for good."

"Peter listened to _you _over the woman he loved?" Saedra asked, feeling sympathetic for Priyah.

"Princess Priyah didn't deny anything I claimed," Stamprin frowned. "And his Majesty was young and trusted my judgment. But I am sure that you have noted how the High King doesn't take nearly as much interest in what I say now as he did then."

Things were starting to make sense in Saedra's mind: So _that _was the explanation for Priyah's strange comments at Susan's wedding? This is what Saedra had been wondering about ever since Priyah's unconventionally-worded note?

"This is all very interesting, I assure you," Abrastan said, "but what does this have to do with Lord Reine?"

"What I haven't mentioned is that Lord Reine has had a close relationship with the Telmarine court for years. It was how he had access to the Telmarine poison, Marrina Felcar, when your own mother Lalevis killed herself with it."

Saedra's face grew hard. "I can't _believe_ my mother listened to Reine! If she had just talked to Dane, everything could have been sorted out! Dane knew what she'd done!"

"Lord Reine is a crafty man. He made sure they never had the chance to work it out. Lady Lalevis probably didn't have a choice, knowing how Lord Reine operates."

Abrastan and Saedra looked at each other. Lalevis' death was very meaningful to the both of them, and Reine had effectively been the cause of it. The desire to beat Reine in this fight once again rose up in Saedra's chest.

Abrastan leaned forward. "And Saedra's attempted murder was with this very same poison, if I'm not mistaken."

"You are correct, Tarkaan," Stamprin nodded.

"So does that mean that this Reine was behind Saedra's death as well?" Abrastan asked.

"Yes."

Saedra asked, "How did he manage to do that, anyway? He wasn't around-"

"Don't be so naive, your Ladyship," Stamprin said. "He has people here, even now, who are working for him."

"Do you know who they are?" she asked.

"Unfortunately not. I couldn't ask without looking _too _interested in the details. But somehow, whoever it was, they were able to poison your drink and make sure that it was delivered straight to you—no one else."

"And does this mean that King Meridian was interested in having me dead as well since Marrina Felcar is from Telmar?" Saedra asked. "Is that why you told me about the engagement?"

Stamprin shook his white head. "Not Meridian. Priyah."

"Priyah?"

Saedra couldn't believe it. Priyah had looked her in the eye at Susan's wedding, and had seemed so friendly! It was impossible, no matter what hard feelings there might have been because Saedra was now married to Priyah's old lover, that Priyah would have been party to her murder.

"_Never_ _underestimate_ _Lord_ _Reine," _Stamprin emphasized. "Never. He played into Priyah's love for the High King. I don't know the particulars, but I don't believe that Priyah is capable of such a bold and treacherous act. Time has allowed me to see what I couldn't see then, which is that there is not a treacherous bone in her body."

Saedra acutely felt the accusation in the words: Priyah would never have done the acts that Saedra had managed to do.

Stamprin continued: "Reine likely told her grand stories of how your Ladyship was ruining Narnia or making the High King miserable—anything that would prompt Princess Priyah to hand over something as rare and precious as the poison Marrina Felcar. I have no doubt that Priyah was party to your death with the noblest intentions, and not merely out of jealously."

"So here we have that someone within the Telmarine court has contributed to an assassination attempt of a Narnian Princess," Abrastan concluded. "Are we to be so bold as to present this to King Lune in public? This is no simple matter: this could become an international incident. Telmar will, of course, deny it and pretend to take offense at the accusation."

"We don't have to present this in court publically," Saedra said, "at least not the part about Telmar. We _can _implicate Reine in my murder and give Stamprin's written testimony about all this to King Lune privately. King Lune is wise and knows better than to have such information public. Besides, it doesn't matter in the end what the spectators think, since King Lune will be the one making the final decision."

"So now we have a testimony that Lord Reine is a murderer," Abrastan surmised. "That's a good start. We will have a ways to go, however..."

* * *

The rest of the winter passed much too quickly as the three of them investigated and planned for the court date that spring. They planned for every possible attack that they could think of, and planned strong defenses just in case. They scoured the libraries in search of information about Lalevis and Dane, and of Archenlander laws. They traversed the countryside, speaking with the peasants and gathering useful information.

Meanwhile, Saedra pulled out the old dresses she had used to conceal her last pregnancy. Thankfully, this pregnancy probably _wasn't _twins, because she wasn't _nearly_ as big as she was last time. After things settled down, she would go down to Calormen to hide until the child was born. No one had noticed she was slowly gaining weight, or dismissed it as due to the stress upon her.

As the trial date neared, the three of them travelled to Anvard, once again leaving Harden in the faithful hands of Lord Darrin. When they arrived at Anvard, Saedra was struck by how many people were there—the place was swarming with people!

When she commented on this to Stamprin, he merely said, "What did you expect, my Lady? The High King's wife is going against a Lord who is claiming that she is an illegitimate child. This is not a spectacle to be missed."

It had been arranged that Saedra and Reine and their respective people would be situated in opposite ends of the castle, as far away from each other as possible to avoid confrontation or sabotage. Guards followed Saedra everywhere to make sure there was no foul play, and Saedra was sure that Reine was being treated in a similar fashion.

Reine and Saedra both had their evidence and written testimonies for their sides submitted, and Lune would be spending the time leading up to the trial gathering information on his own.

The day before the court date, Peter, Talia, and Lucy arrived at Anvard. Saedra had been relaxing and speaking to Aravis when she had been warned of their approach by an attendant. The two women rushed down to the front entrance to greet Saedra's family.

Lucy hugged Saedra warmly like always. Saedra was shocked by Talia, who was now fourteen years old and quite as tall as Saedra was! Peter hugged and kissed Saedra while Aravis hugged the rest.

"Su sends her love!" Lucy said. "She wishes she could come, but we're not taking any chances with her pregnancy!"

Saedra looked around Peter, then asked, "Where's Caulitha?"

Peter grimaced. "She's unwell. She caught a nasty cold this winter, and she hasn't been able to shake it yet. Remanda advised that we better not travel with her."

Saedra's face fell.

"I'm sorry, Sae," Peter said, squeezing her shoulder. "Cauli really misses her mother. But at least you'll be able to see her when this is all over."

Saedra pursed her lips and nodded disappointedly.

"Now where should have I have my things sent?" he asked.

It took Saedra a moment to realize that Peter was referring to her room—or now, their room.

"Oh, it's the third door to the left on the fourth floor in the south wing," she replied, and Peter relayed the information to the Satyr that was holding his things.

The Satyr hurried off, and Peter grinned at Saedra, putting his arm around her. They followed Talia, Lucy, and Aravis, who were all chattering loudly and going off to find Cor and Corin.

* * *

That evening they all had a good time catching up over a light dinner in a private chamber, but Saedra couldn't help feeling apprehensive. The next day was one that would define the future of her life forever; it was hard to be jolly.

Peter seemed to notice her mood, and he excused the both of them early, with a round of hearty goodnights and assurances that everything would turn out all right following them as they left.

When in their room, Saedra immediately went to the vanity and started to take out her hairpins. It was to keep herself busy; she knew what Peter was probably thinking about, but she certainly did not want him to see her without her concealing dress on.

He came up behind her and looped his arms around her stomach. Saedra froze up, worried that he might feel the bump, but he wasn't paying attention. He leaned over and kissed her neck sensuously.

Saedra didn't have to pretend to be weary. She sighed, "Not tonight, Peter. I'm sorry, but I'm too tired and worried."

Peter chuckled and kissed her again in the same spot. "It might help you unwind."

Saedra unclasped his hands and walked away. "Things still aren't okay, Peter. You promised that we'd talk about what happened since Willem_—_died."

He nodded seriously. "You're right."

He walked to the bed and sat upon it, indicating that she should join him. She sat and looked up at him.

"I suppose I owe you an explanation for last spring," he said.

She simply watched him, curious, and yet scared to make things right with him again. It would make the secret she carried all the worse if he opened himself up to her again.

He looked down. "It was...I misplaced my anger. I was angry at someone else, and I implicated you in it. As usual, I now see that I was hasty."

"What was it?"

He paused and studied her. "When you died...Edmund was with you at the time, and I was in the next room watching Cauli. He called out, and I ran over. He had—he had your blood on his lips."

Saedra tilted her head, frowning. "My blood on his lips."

The time between her death and being in Aslan's forest was very hazy to her.

"Yes. It was obvious from the blood on your face that he'd been kissing you. You had just died moments before, and I assumed that you had been alive, and at the very least _aware_ of the kisses. I—I couldn't handle it."

"Oh, Peter," she said sadly, resting her hand on his shoulder.

"You remember when I told you why I pulled back that time so long ago that first time you were in Narnia? Because of Edmund?"

She nodded.

"All those worries came back. But this time, I began to fear that it wasn't just Edmund, but that you also loved him that way. I couldn't…I couldn't even look at you. I was so hurt and betrayed…"

"I'm sorry, Peter," she whispered.

"No, I'm sorry!" he protested. "I pushed you away with some deluded thoughts of being noble and letting you live your own life without feeling bound to me, but I only resulted in making the both of us miserable. You have no need to defend yourself. I knew soon after Susan's wedding that I had done a terrible thing, and that you were no happier than I was. I could see the misery on your face—you pulled back from everyone a little bit, and you hardly ate. I was too proud to mend things until the very last moment, when you were about to leave."

It was a horrible feeling, having Peter apologize to her, thinking he was in the wrong when he had been right all along. But what could she do? Tell him that he was right and ruin everything? No. All she could do was mend her relationship with him, give birth in secret, and give their family another chance.

"I'm desperately sorry, Sae. I wasted so much time. It didn't just affect us, it affected Tal too. It was my pride getting the best of me in all aspects."

She squeezed his shoulder. "It's all right, Peter. It's just great to have you back. Just please, promise me that this is our last big fight."

He grinned. "You know I can't do that, Sae. But I promise that I'll never push you away like that again."

* * *

Saedra entered King Lune's court on Peter's arm, with Lucy and Talia following. The spectators were already there, talking excitedly. At the end of the center aisle was King Lune's empty throne, and on each side were stands where the crowds sat. Two podiums facing the throne were set up on each side in front of the throne, one for Reine and one for Saedra. It was obvious which side each person in the crowd was rooting for, because they sat on the side of the podium of the person they supported.

Saedra was surprised to see how many people were sitting behind Reine's side; there was about the same number of people on his as on hers. There were many older Lords on his side, ones who had opposed her reigning Harden on account of her being female. There were also peasants of Harden on his side, and also on her side. Abrastan and Stamprin were hidden in the stands on Saedra's side.

Reine soon entered, followed by his lap-dog, Lord Leren. They smirked confidently at the sight of Saedra, but she just coolly nodded her head in their direction before looking away. Not long after, an attendant announced the arrival of King Lune, and all rose and bowed as he made his way to the throne.

"Be seated," King Lune said gravely. His normally sparkling eyes were all business. "Even though I have already thoroughly looked at the previously-submitted evidence, we are here today to finally resolve the matter of the rulership of the Province of Harden. Lord Reine has challenged Lady Saedra's right to be Duchess of Harden, and will be presenting further evidence to support his claim. Lady Saedra will be given the opportunity to defend herself after each claim, and will be given the opportunity to make a counterclaim. At any time I may interrupt and ask a question. I will ask the crowd to please remain silent."

Lune looked at Reine. "Lord Reine, thou may begin."

Reine cleared his throat and walked to his podium, carrying his notes. When ready, he began:

"As in my formal declaration, I am claiming myself rightful Duke of Harden, and declare that Lady Saedra is unfit, unworthy, and usurper to the position of Duchess. I will show how she has been a horrible ruler, how she is _not_ the child of my old friend Duke Dane and has no right to his place, and how, worst of all, she is a person of bad character and is not fit to the title of 'Lady,' let alone 'Duchess.' Thank you."

Murmuring started as Reine took his seat.

Saedra took in a shaky breath, and Peter squeezed her hand as she got up and walked to the podium slowly. She was terribly nervous: not only was Reine trying to take her position, he was trying to destroy her reputation-not doubt for the purpose of revenge.

She swallowed and started:

"I am here to counter Lord Reine's claims and show how these claims are not only unfounded, but they are malicious, cruel, and unbefitting someone with the title of 'Archenlander Lord.' I will prove that my step-father, Duke Dane, _did_ know that I was not his child, but did choose to leave the rulership to me. As well, I will show the vast evidence that I have been a good and fair ruler in my nine of years serving Harden."

Saedra sat down, and Reine began his attack:

"And so I begin my first point, which is that Lady Saedra is an unfit ruler. All in attendance here surely know the issues that arose nine years ago when dear Duke Dane passed away: that there was great consternation about the fact that Lady Saedra was too young for the role of Duchess, and not only that, but she was a _girl,_ refusing to be guided by the wisdom of her father's closet ally, namely myself."

Saedra took notes as he spoke in order to remember every point he made.

Reine continued. "Lady Saedra has shown to be a short-tempered, impulsive leader who was comfortable leaving the affairs of the province in the hands of an untrained _governess_ who knew nothing about leading. This governess was allowed to be Regent for months and months, during which time numerous unprecedented crimes took place. Old Man Wiser, a respected man in the community, was attacked. Grain from the mill was stolen. People were afraid to go out at night.

"To add insult to injury, when I tried to step in and guide the governess' hand, Lady Saedra became angry with me and reversed all of the progress I had made. Not only that, but she claimed that the governess would be her heir to the position of Duchess in the case of her death, and if the governess ever died, then a slave girl from Tashbaan—that Lady Saedra _stole_ from Prince Rabadash himself—would be next in line to inherit one of the oldest, most revered, and high titles in all of Archenland! Feeling threatened by my aid, Lady Saedra threw me out of the castle, with no regard to my high station or friendship with her father.

"Not only is Lady Saedra impetuous and stubborn, but she is hardly ever at Harden to reign! For the past four years, she has been gone from Harden a majority of the time, leaving it to others. Her apparent devotion to Narnia is understandable, but the people of Archenland should not suffer for this new loyalty."

He stepped down.

Lune nodded to Saedra. "Duchess?"

Saedra took in a shaky breath and glanced at her notes.

"Lord Reine has made many accusations of me, all of which are unfair and manipulative. I will address each one by one to ensure the circumstances of each are clear to his Majesty, King Lune.

"I believe that the first accusation was that I am irresponsible for leaving Gilda as my replacement when I travelled. This is a correct observation, but grossly misconstrued. Gilda was a more than adequate replacement, being very versed in politics and law. She is the one who trained me, and even my step-father Dane would ask her for her opinion on certain matters.

"Gilda was very capable, and she did her job well—despite your interference, Lord Reine. You had the foolish idea of building a wall on the same side of the castle where there is already a _cliff, _which is, at the very least, a very misinformed idea. It is a pointless location for a wall, for nothing could scale the cliff on that side of the castle. You also interfered by raising the fee for selling goods in the market, which made it unaffordable for farmers.

"In effect, you shut down the marketplace, ending the commerce for the whole province. For another province it might not have been so serious, but Harden has always struggled. The people have fewer resources than in other parts of Archenland because of the attack of the Calormene pirates many years ago. The decision to shut down the market was foolish, and Gilda was against it, but you and your men intimidated her and made her fear for her safety so she would hand over my seal.

"You mentioned the attack on Old Man Wiser and the theft from the mill that summer." She smirked and raised her eyebrow. "Do you _really _think you should be bringing those up, Lord Reine? I did investigation into both those matters, and I have witnesses who claim that Lord Leren here and his men were the cause of both of these incidents—and any others that happened."

Lord Leren stood up angrily. "How dare you accuse me? You pay off some 'witness' and expect his Majesty to believe that somehow I was the cause of this?"

Saedra said, "All of their stories are verified and none contradict each other. The names are confidential, and only King Lune has been able to see their transcribed testimonies. None have been coerced into testifying."

"This is outrageous!"

"What is more outrageous is trying to instill fear in the community by beating up one of its oldest members!" Saedra snapped.

"You have no proof! I have one who can vouch for my whereabouts that evening, and it was nowhere near Old Man Wiser! Besides, no one knows who did those crimes because they were done on cloudy nights so it would be impossible to see who was doing what in the case that someone did happen upon the perpetrators!"

"I have no doubt that the person vouching for you is also one of those that the witnesses have implicated," Saedra replied. "And I find it highly interesting that you have such a sharp memory as to remember that each of the crimes took place on a cloudy night. I doubt anyone _not _included in the crime would remember those evenings with such clarity."

Whispering in the crowds began.

"That's enough," King Lune interjected. "Lady Saedra, has thou more to say?"

"Yes, but I will make it brief. In regard to my next of line, I have already established that Gilda was a learned woman who was more than capable to lead Harden in my absence. If she could lead Harden then, it is more than reasonable to expect that she could lead Harden in the case of my death.

"In regard to the 'slave girl' that I 'stole' from Prince Rabadash, it is fairly obvious to any compassionate person that that accusation is flawed within itself. Talia came north of her own free will, and it more than obvious that she will be a great leader when she is older.

"Finally, the assertion that I was only a 'girl' at the time of my father's death and therefore unfit to rule is ridiculous. For a comparison, I point you to Queens Susan and Lucy of Narnia. I know there are many in this room that balk at the idea of a woman ruling over men, but the fair citizens of Narnia have no problem respecting their Queens. On top of that, though I was seventeen years of age, I was of marital age and fully grown. I again point to the Queens, who were much younger than seventeen when they began to reign—and Narnia is a much bigger land than Harden is."

Saedra stepped down.

"I am satisfied on this first point. For the sake of keeping this as prompt as possible, I ask thee to move on to thy second point, Lord Reine," King Lune said.

"Of course, your Majesty," the Lord nodded. "My second point is of greater importance to the first, and that is of Lady Saedra's heritage. Lalevis, Duke Dane's Calormene wife, had an affair with some no-good Calormene while she was supposed to be visiting her ailing father, and came back soon enough in the pregnancy that no one suspected anything. Lalevis never told my friend Dane, and he never knew the truth. By rights, Lady Saedra is not a 'Lady' at all: she is the bastard daughter of an unfaithful Tarkheena. Even _she_ makes no attempt to deny it, calling Duke Dane her 'step-father.' This alone should reassure us all that Lady Saedra does not have the right to rule Harden. If Duke Dane had known the truth, he would never have allowed her to be Duchess."

Next was Saedra's turn.

"If you were correct in your premise that Duke Dane had not known about my heritage, you would have won your case. Unfortunately for your Lordship, my step-father did know. My esteemed husband, High King Peter, once made a comment about this situation, and it was a wise one: He said that any husband would know if his wife was unfaithful. And Dane did know. For proof, I will pull out one of his many journals, which I was able to locate this winter within his vast libraries and records. Since you knew my father so well, Lord Reine, surely you know what a meticulous record-keeper he was. Surely you didn't think he wouldn't write about the most important part of his life, namely his wife and daughter?"

Reine's face reddened, and he looked furious. Murmurs once again started.

Saedra spoke over the noise. "Evidence has already been submitted to King Lune outlining how Duke Dane knew that I was not his true daughter, but out of love for my mother, he decided to raise me as his own. He even mentions how he knew no one that he would rather name as heir than the bastard baby of his wife, which is a commentary on how highly Duke Dane thought of _your _abilities to lead, Lord Reine."

The murmurings continued, and Reine looked like he wanted to kill her. Saedra couldn't help but smile; this had been far too easy.

"I will have to look at that evidence and make sure it isn't forged," Reine declared.

"It isn't," King Lune said. "The evidence is true, Lord Reine. I suggest that thou move to thy final point, for it looks like this trial has been a waste of time."

Reine composed himself, and his confidence returned.

"My final point, and it is greater than both of the first two put together: It that of Saedra's character. Every leader should be known as a person of good will and good decisions, but must also be respected for their personal decisions, or that person's judgment is called into question and their leadership is undermined."

Reine paused dramatically.

"I declare—and have witnesses who attest to it, that Lady Saedra, as Princess of Narnia, has not been faithful to the High King Peter, and has engaged in an affair right underneath his nose."

The crowds erupted, and all were now on their feet.

Saedra felt like she'd been punched in the chest—_how did he know?_ She knew Peridan was a man of his word. He wouldn't betray her like this. But then who had?

"This is ridiculous!" Lucy exclaimed, and Peter looked ready to pull out Rhindon and slay Reine right there and then.

King Lune himself was on his feet, looking shocked and furious. "How dare thee make such an accusation, Reine?"

"I beg your Majesty to let me finish," Reine called over the noise. "This information has been verified by Princess Rahai herself, wife of King Edmund."

The crowd became silent as his words sank in.

Saedra's jaw dropped. She glanced over at her family, and they all wore disbelieving expressions. Even if Rahai had found out the truth, she wouldn't betray them. She couldn't!

"I see I finally have your attention," Reine said, grinning maliciously. "Yes, that information comes directly from Saedra's cousin and sister-in-law, Princess Rahai, a very trustworthy source by any standard. But several other sources have told me what I have no doubt is the truth: that Lady Saedra is due to have the child of her lover."


	44. The Tarkheena's Testimony

**The Tarkheena's Testimony**

* * *

The courtroom became complete pandemonium after Reine's declaration. People were on their feet, yelling at either Reine or Saedra. Others were talking excitedly. Others were gasping disbelievingly at Reine's outrageous accusation. Corin's voice was particularly distinctive above the roar, cursing Reine to high heaven.

Saedra was still seated, too shocked to react. She was vaguely aware of those around her, but she couldn't focus. All she could think was: _It's over. _She had lost not only Harden, but her marriage, reputation, and family. She had once had everything; now she would have nothing.

Lune somehow managed to get everyone settled down again. He said: "Lord Reine, there is nothing in the testimony of Princess Rahai that alludes to this dire accusation." He flipped through his papers. "Here Princess Rahai refers to Lady Saedra as one of the best woman she knows, as someone she has the deepest admiration and respect for. It says right here that 'Saedra welcomed me into her family with open arms, and is the best friend and cousin a woman could hope for.' How then, did we get from this heart-felt testimony to Princess Rahai now saying that Lady Saedra is a traitor?"

"I will let Princess Rahai speak for herself," Reine said, smiling at Saedra smugly. He stepped back from the podium.

"This is madness!" Lucy whispered disbelievingly. "Peter—stop this!"

If Peter was going to say something, it was cut off by the sight of someone in the crowd behind Reine standing up. It was Rahai, who must have been there the whole time. Gasping and muttering erupted in the crowd.

Rahai had a hard expression on her pale, tired face as she came forward with her head held high. She stared at Saedra with such hatred and betrayal that Saedra wished she could somehow vanish from the spot and appear someplace else..._any _place else. This was worse than her worst nightmare come true. A lions' den would be a nice relief.

Rahai stepped behind the podium and addressed King Lune in a clear, cold voice. "What your Majesty read was correct at the time. I did believe Saedra was a wonderful woman. She'd been such an inspiration to me, and I wanted to be just like her. Truthfully, I wanted to _be _her. I thought she was the strongest, most capable woman I knew. She was a loyal, fierce friend, and very brave and principled."

She looked at Saedra, gritting her teeth in disgust and hatred. "But then I discovered the truth: she is a traitor, a liar, and a back-stabber. With one hand she will wipe away your tears and with the other she will knife you in the back. She has done the unthinkable: She has betrayed her husband, her family, and her countries. She has engaged in an affair beneath all of our noses, betraying our trust."

Saedra was immobile. She hated to look at Rahai in the eyes, but didn't dare look away. She feared the expressions on her family's faces too much to have the courage look over.

King Lune spoke haltingly, trying to be tactful. "My Princess, how did thee come by this information?"

"Her lover himself confessed all to me, your Majesty."

"But why would he do that, oh Princess?" Lune pressed. "What gain is there for him?"

Rahai's lip trembled. "None. But I had already suspected the truth, for he was most desolate after Saedra left Cair Paravel, refusing to eat. He didn't even bother to hide his anguish anymore, and I confronted him." Rahai swallowed, and a small gasping sound escaped. The tiny sob betrayed how deeply heart-broken she was. "He told me everything: that they loved each other, and had an affair that began at Queen Susan's wedding. It was after learning this information that I contacted Lord Reine."

"My Princess, I must ask this," Lune said. "Why did thou bring this information to Lord Reine instead of speaking to thy cousin? Is this not a private matter?"

Rahai's lip curled. "I want Saedra to have a small taste of how I've suffered. I want her to understand the betrayal I have endured. She has ruined my life and my marriage and the lives of those that I have come to love." She paused. "I have not told your Majesty the worst part of it." Furious tears were in Rahai's eyes as looked at Saedra. "The man with whom she carried on this treacherous affair was no commoner. He was her brother-in-law—my husband, King Edmund, the very man she _encouraged_ me to marry!"

All were on their feet again, unable to believe their ears: all but Saedra. She felt light-headed, like she was going to faint.

This wasn't _real. _It wasn't happening!

King Lune's cheeks were red. He looked at Peter, hoping for him to interject or end the discussion with a resounding counter to Rahai's claims. Peter, however, did not speak, and Lune said, "Thu-thank you, my Princess. I will take this into consideration."

Rahai nodded sharply, and stepped back. She looked immensely satisfied to be getting her revenge, staring at Saedra odiously.

Reine stepped forward and spoke above the roar in the chamber. "To conclude, your Majesty, I point out what I mentioned before: that Lady Saedra is to have the child of her lover, which Princess Rahai has now testified is her husband, King Edmund of Narnia. I have confirmed from those within Harden itself that Lady Saedra is with child."

"Whether I am to have a child or not is none of your business, Reine!" Saedra sputtered angrily, trying to salvage the situation.

"It is in _this_ case, my Lady," he retorted. "Do you deny the reports that you are to have a child?"

Saedra's mind was racing: Dare she deny it? If she denied it, the word could so easily get out. All it would take is one person to find out otherwise, and she would be exposed as a liar and a perjurer—and Mrs. Quigley already knew!

"I do not deny the reports, Reine, but to think my personal information and the workings of my bedroom are pertinent is pushing your luck indeed," she came back.

"It has been common knowledge at Cair Paravel that your Ladyship and your husband have been keeping separate quarters. Do you deny Princess Rahai's testimony that you have had an affair this summer? You presume to claim that all of these first-hand witnesses are lying?"

Saedra licked her lips. What could she say? Peter, who was standing right next to her, knew the truth! He knew that they had not shared a room since Willem's death. He knew the child wasn't his! No doubt he was horrified beyond belief. If she could have made herself look at him, she would have known what he was thinking.

She opened her mouth to speak—

"_I_ do," Peter's firm, authoritative voice came. "I presume to claim that these witnesses are lying."

Reine looked at him in shock, blinking disbelievingly.

Peter continued, his face dripping with a fury that seemed to be directed at Reine, but was, no doubt, directed at someone else. "_I_, the High King of Narnia, hereby claim that my wife has been faithful and if we are so fortunate to have a child—we have been separated thanks to your lordship and I had not yet learned the happy news—this is cause for celebration, not censure."

Reine opened and closed his mouth, but no words came.

"What has thee to say to this, Lord Reine?" Lune asked, a little more triumphantly than was appropriate.

"He lies!" Reine croaked. "The High King lies! This is utterly untrue!"

"Thou dares to accuse the High King of Narnia, a fast friend of this throne and Archenland, of perjury?" Lune asked furiously, standing up.

Reine looked scared. "I—um—"

"If there is nothing more to say, we will take a break so that I may decide the case," Lune said, angry patches still on his cheeks. When no one else spoke, he half-stormed, half-waddled out of the courtroom.

The crowd dispersed, gossiping about the abrupt ending to the session. Saedra stayed where she was, staring at the ground. Suddenly, Stamprin entered her line of vision, looking up at her murderously.

"Follow me, my _Lady_," he ordered.

Without a look towards her family, she followed Stamprin out of the courtroom through a side door to avoid the crowds. Saedra was vaguely aware of moving though Anvard. They ended up in a study where Stamprin locked the door.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Stamprin exploded as soon as they were alone, no longer bothering to address her formally. "Why? We were supposed to have a plan for every possible situation, and Reine exposing a pregnancy is certainly a possible situation, concerning your condition!"

"He wasn't supposed to know!" Saedra exclaimed. "No one knew—except for Mrs. Quigley, who helped me discover that I was indeed expecting. I have no idea how he found out!"

Stamprin's eyes bugged. "Surely you are not as daft as you sound! I wouldn't trust that nurse woman with the smallest of secrets, not if my life depended on it! Anyone can tell that that woman has a loose tongue!"

"But...but she promised..." Saedra fumbled, realizing how childish she sounded.

Stamprin just stared at her disbelievingly.

Saedra tried another approach. "So if I _had _told you, what would you have done? There's no way to prepare for an attack like this! Peter is the only one who could have helped us, and we would have wanted him to do the exact thing he did here! What could we have done otherwise?"

Stamprin looked at her with a gleam in his eye that answered her question: Whatever Stamprin would have wanted her to do, it was nothing good.

Just then, a knock sounded on the door. With another poison-filled glance, the Dwarf unlocked the door. It was Abrastan.

Saedra's father looked at her with a disappointed, sympathetic expression. "Your husband wants to see you, Saedra."

She had expected as much, but her stomach dropped all the same. She looked down and saw her hands were shaking furiously. Anything would be better than facing Peter, to have to look him in the eye and admit what she'd done_. _

She only nodded, however, and followed Abrastan silently through the halls. They passed a few people who wished her well, and others that said nothing. But all stared at her with doubt in their eyes, still not sure that what the High King had testified was the truth.

"You did your best, daughter," Abrastan said in a low voice. "It's in Tash's hands now."

Saedra didn't reply.

They arrived at another room, and Abrastan knocked before entering. Saedra followed him, heart pounding with fear. Her hands were sweating.

The sight that met her made her want to throw herself out the stain-glass window across the room: Talia had tears running down her heart-broken face, which was buried in Lucy's shoulder. Lucy had red eyes as well, and the look that she shot Saedra was pure venom. Behind them was Peter with his back to the door, staring at the colorful window with his arms crossed.

Peter spoke without turning. "Tarkaan, will you take my daughter to get some lunch? She will need to keep up her strength."

"With pleasure, your Majesty," Abrastan nodded.

Talia disentangled herself from Lucy without looking at Saedra. It was only as she passed her step-mother on the way out the door that their eyes met. Saedra had to look away from the disillusioned, disappointed, and thoroughly hurt look on her daughter's face. It was a stark reminder of what a failure she was.

As soon as Abrastan had shut the door behind them, Lucy flew at Saedra.

"How _could _you?" she demanded. "How _dare_ you? Who do you think you _are? _Did Peter not do _enough_ for you? Was the High King of Narnia, Peter the Magnificent, not _good enough _for you?"

Saedra bit her lip, but didn't speak.

"And to think, _I _was the one who was demonized. _I _was the one who was made to look like a fool and to apologize. You remember, _sister?_ In Narrowhaven, when I suspected this very thing—that you and my bastard of a brother were having an affair? Do you remember that?" she shrieked, her lovely face red and crazed. "Answer me!"

"Yes, I remember," Saedra replied quietly, very aware of Peter's silent presence in the room.

"And I was _right _the whole time? Do you know that whenever I had a stray thought that there was something going on between you and Ed that I reminded myself of that time where I supposedly jumped to conclusions? You made me feel like the bad one when I was _well_ within my right to be saying something! Rahai was completely right! You and him both: You're disgusting, pitiful, backstabbing, repulsive, ghastly-"

"Lu, that's enough," Peter said, but not sharply.

Lucy wheeled around to face her brother's back. "Oh, it is not _nearly _enough, Peter-"

"Leave us, Lu. Please."

"I'm not done with her!" Lucy snarled.

"I wouldn't expect you to be. But she and I, we need to talk."

Lucy addressed Saedra with her teeth bared: "You'll be sorry for this, Saedra. Mark my words. What goes around, comes around. What happens to one of us in the family affects the rest. You've done a _horrendous_ thing. Horrendous doesn't even begin to describe it, actually. No word describes your evil! I swear, you'll pay for this, and the sooner the better!"

The Queen brushed past her and left, slamming the door behind her. The room echoed with the sound, then fell silent. Saedra watched Peter's back with terror, unable to fathom what he was going to do.

Would he scream at her? Have her thrown in the dungeons? Would he _hit_ her? She knew he was well within his rights to do any of those things, and fully expected them.

Peter turned around slowly. Saedra had to put her hand up to her mouth to stifle her sob as he looked her in the eyes: He did not have a furious expression on his face—not even an angry one. His face was a portrait of abject misery, tear stains running down his chiseled, kingly face.

He watched her, but his eyes weren't hard and condemning. They were questioning...and devastated at the same time.

His lips parted and uttered a single raspy word: "_Why_?"

Saedra shook her head, hands still covering her mouth.

"Why, Sae? Why? Help me _understand_," he pleaded.

She only continued to shake her head. She _couldn't_ answer. It was such a simple question, but there was no adequate answer to be given that could justify the sight of the shattered King who had loved her so much.

He took a step closer to her. Even though he was across the room from her, she still flinched.

"If I don't understand now, I'll always wonder. Tell me, Sae. What does Edmund have that I don't? Why did you do this? How...?"

Her lips trembled as she whispered, "You pushed me away, Peter, remember? During a time when I needed your love the most...I was hurting. I thought you blamed me for losing Willem."

She paused, waiting for him to interrupt, to say that her reasons were ludicrous, that it didn't justify her actions. He remained silent.

She continued, her voice becoming stronger. "I thought you didn't love me anymore. You said we'd never recover, and that you wished you could send me away. And Edmund was there...I was _so_ lonely."

Peter nodded, his lip firm.

Saedra waited for more.

"You love him," he stated. It didn't sound like a question, but it was.

She hesitated, but couldn't avoid answering. She nodded.

"How long?"

"I...I'm not sure. It came-slowly."

He closed his eyes with a pained expression on his face. A long moment later, he opened his glassy eyes and asked quietly, "Why did you marry me?"

"Oh, Peter, because I loved you! I denied it to myself then because of pride, but I did love you."

He didn't look like he believed her. "And you loved him too?"

"Yes."

He turned away disgustedly.

"You may condemn my actions, but don't look at me that way, Peter! It is entirely plausible to love more than one person."

"Oh? And how do you figure that?"

"Do you still love Priyah?"

"Wha—what?"

"Do you still love Priyah?"

"What does _she_ have to do with this?"

"You loved her once, Peter, and I'm sure you still have feelings for her. You were so attentive to her at Su's wedding."

"Oh, don't start acting like you might actually be _jealous_, Saedra!"

"That's not my point! I'm saying that, assuming you loved me at the time—which, mind you, you didn't seem like it—I think you loved her too. It's not hard to care for more than one person at all, so stop giving me that judging look!"

"But I didn't _act on it!" _he snapped, his bleary eyes flashing. "I didn't carry on an affair, no matter how tempting it may have been! That is where we differ, Saedra. I did _not_ betray you. I did _not_ betray Talia, I did _not_ betray Caulitha. _You_ did."

Saedra looked down and spoke in a small voice. "I'm not excusing my actions, Peter. Not in the least. You said you wanted to understand; I was trying to explain."

He shook his head slowly. "I was wrong. I don't think I'll ever be able to understand. Never. If it was anyone else besides my brother, maybe. But not him...Not _him_."

Saedra waited in uncomfortable silence.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked. "An apology doesn't scratch the surface, so I won't even attempt it. What do you want me to do, Peter? I'll do anything you say."

Peter's jaw muscles tightened, and his lip curled.

A shiver ran through Saedra's body as she awaited her fate.

Peter spoke firmly:

"I never want to see you again. As long as I live, I never want to see your face again. Just looking at you reminds me of you and Edmund...You must never go to Narnia again."

Saedra stumbled backwards. She had expected a dire punishment, but it was still heart-rending to face her doom. Never enter Narnia again? The land of the people and Creatures she had become friends with? Never see Remanda the Dwarf again? Nor Tumnus? Nor the Beavers or Bears? Nor the great castle of Cair Paravel or the Horses or the Satyrs or the sand dunes or Susan?

Suddenly, Saedra realized that even if she went back, things would never be the same: people would hear about this sooner or later, and all would look at her the way the Archenlanders looked at her today. No matter what Peter ordered, her life was altered anyway.

"What about our girls?" she choked.

"Talia is at an age where she can travel back and forth between Cair Paravel and Harden. She will decide for herself. "

"Harden?" Saedra half-laughed. "There won't be a Harden for her to go to. Reine won the trial decisively, in case you didn't notice."

Peter shook his head. "No, he didn't. It's apparent that the trial was a farce. It was always in your favor, no matter how much King Lune wanted it to look otherwise." At Saedra's surprised expression, he elaborated. "Saedra, the Narnian court has always been close with the Archenlander one. You having myself and Lucy and the rest on your side assured your victory, provided you gave a decent defense. Watching King Lune's reactions today, I'm convinced Reine never had a real chance."

"But—but the whole affair thing—" she sputtered.

"Do you really think Lune believed it? And even if he had, he had my word to go on. My word as High King was more than enough to prove your innocence."

"Why did you do that? Why defend me? Rahai was more than glad to get her revenge."

He looked like he hated himself at that moment as much as Lucy hated Saedra. "Because...I still love you. Even after all this, I don't want to see you slandered. I don't blame Rahai a bit for what she did, but I...I'm different. I want you to be happy, and to have a home to live in. I want Talia to have a place to inherit when she gets older, since she can never rule Narnia because of Caulitha being a blood-heir."

"And..what of Caulitha? What will become of her?"

He paused. "Caulitha stays in Narnia. She mustn't leave."

Saedra paled. "Peter—she's my daughter! If I can't enter Narnia, I shall never see her!"

He shook his head. "She's too weak to travel. Maybe in a few years she'll be able to, but she's not a healthy baby."

"You can't do this!" she gasped.

"Who brought this upon us?" Peter said harshly. "_You. _These are the consequences you must bear-that we _all_ will bear."

Saedra stared at the floor numbly.

"As soon as I walk out of here, I will leave Archenland," he said.

Saedra nodded.

"And we'll never see each other again," he concluded. "Ever."

She jerked her head up and met his eyes. Their eyes locked for a long moment.

His piercing blue eyes reminded her of all of their happy times they had shared: dancing, sledding, at Talia's birthday... Those times were just memories now of a life that would never be regained.

Peter looked away and walked towards the door behind Saedra. As he was walking past her left shoulder, he paused. They stood facing opposite directions, shoulders nearly touching.

Saedra looked up at Peter. His sad blue eyes met her brown ones one last time. They gazed at each other's faces as if trying to memorize the other's features. Saedra felt the beginnings of a spark of hope-

And then Peter was gone, the door shutting behind him.


	45. The Intervention of the Lion

**The Intervention of the Lion**

* * *

The horse and rider flew through the darkening wood as if fleeing for their very lives. The horse's eyes were wide, and the rider bent low over its neck, unable to avoid getting scratched by the branches that whizzed by. His dark hair was wild, and his eyes determined.

Suddenly, the wood ended. They were now racing up the steep incline of a boulder-speckled hill. They joined with a gravel path that led up to the fortress. The sun was setting in the west to their right.

The castle doors were open. The horse did not slow its pace as it entered the sanctuary within the walls.

The very last sellers of the market had been shutting down their stalls. They stared at the crazed rider with interest, taking in his ripped royal clothes. He ignored them completely, jumping off his horse.

A tall, thin teenage girl ran out of the building to meet them.

"Uncle Edmund!" she cried. "Is something wrong? What are you doing here?"

"Where's Saedra?" he asked, gasping for breath and coming forward.

Talia's eyes furrowed. "Strolling by the east wall, I think, but-"

Edmund brushed past her, running. He ignored those who bowed when he rushed by, thoughts only on the woman he sought. He rounded the corner of the castle, and stopped suddenly.

There was Saedra, staring out at the sea. The warm wind blew through her hair and pulled at her dress.

His eyes fell to her stomach, which was already rounded. She wasn't bothering to hide it anymore.

Sensing his presence, she turned her head to him. Tears were streaked on her cheeks. Her desolate expression changed into one of shock when she recognized him.

"Ed?"

He walked towards her. Her mouth was slack as she stared into his smoldering eyes.

"You lied to me," he said.

She had no immediate reply.

"You lied to me, Saedra."

She nodded. "Yes," she whispered.

Relief and anguish flooded the crownless King's face.

Saedra saw in his pale, drawn, and exhausted face a reflection of what life must have become at Cair Paravel since the trial. She couldn't begin to fathom how hellish his life was now; she hadn't the courage to ask. Saedra had gotten only a small taste of the wrath of Lucy...how much worse would it be with the added wrath of Susan and Peter?

"Yes, Ed. I lied."

He stared at her, his dark eyes comprehending. Saedra realized that Peridan must have somehow let it slip what he had forced Saedra to do, no doubt during a massive row.

"Rahai never came back," he said. "I don't think I can bring myself to go back either."

Saedra walked forward and took his hand. She looked up at him with her tear-streaked face.

"Stay here with me...With us."

Edmund's eyes fell back to the place where his child was growing.

"Do you think we'll be able to bear it?" he asked. "Living with what we've done?"

"We don't have a choice," she said in an empty voice. "But I'd rather be miserable with you than without you."

The gazed hard at each other.

Saedra knew what his decision would be. He had already made it when he chose to flee to Harden.

Edmund rested his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. They took comfort in the familiar embrace and scent of the other.

It seemed like their whole lives were headed towards this moment when they were finally able to be together. The freckled-faced boy held the spoiled, spirited older girl who had won his heart.

They stood like that until after the sun was completely gone and the stars were twinkling brightly overhead.

* * *

_It didn't last. It couldn't last._

_The treachery of King Edmund and Princess Saedra had far-reaching consequences—far beyond just their family. The whole of Narnia was affected. Confidence was shaken. Narnians took sides, some condemning the lovers, some defending them. Fights and scuffles broke out._

_Edmund's desertion only fuelled the tension. If King Edmund the Just could desert his country for a woman so easily, what could the other three do? Why didn't High King Peter come out and address the situation formally? Why were there rumors that Cair Paravel was a mess, with fighting rulers and advisors who couldn't stand to be in the same room together?_

_Prince Ethan, son of Queen Susan and Lord Peridan, entered the world in the midst of all this, reportedly bringing the three remaining rulers together, however tenuously._

_When the news of the White Stag's appearance reached the ears of the rulers near the beginning of autumn, they set out to claim their wish...a wish that could solve all of their problems. Peter, Susan, and Lucy rode out, trying to regain elusive peace and happiness._

_They never returned from chasing the White Stag. Edmund, who had been in Harden awaiting the birth of his child, also disappeared. None of them were ever seen again by those living, save for one (but that is a tale for another time)._

_Narnia was further thrown into chaos, and it was only with courage and resolve that Peridan established a sort of peace. He then became Regent to rule until Princess Caulitha was old enough to be Queen._

_Saedra gave birth to her second daughter, Edina, in the midst of all the chaos. She continued to rule Harden for the rest of her days. She would have stayed in exile from Narnia for the rest of her life, but dire circumstances forced her to return—but that is also another story for another time._

_Rahai went to find the adventurous life she had always desired, and it was years before anyone knew of her fate. _

_As for Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy, they were sent back to England, the other world from whence they came. They became children again with children's minds...children's minds that couldn't begin to understand what adult emotions and actions had sent them away from their dear Narnia._

_And yet, there would be traces of remembrance._

_Peter would pass an advertisement poster with the picture of an Indian woman. He would pause, frowning, feeling like he knew her and wondering why her eyes seemed to taunt him._

_Susan's best friend would consider cheating on her boyfriend, and Susan would get indecently angry, furious at the very notion as if she was being personally violated._

_Edmund would become confused when, at school, there was reckless tomboy that he felt simultaneously attracted to, repulsed by, and scared of._

_Lucy would read in a magazine that the Duchess of something or other was marry some Duke or other, and wouldn't realize that her lip was curling into a sneer at every instance of the word "Duchess."_

_It wouldn't be for many years, but the time would come when childish minds would remember, and deeds that had been forgotten would be recalled..._


End file.
